Kenny had a, thankfully, uneventful dinner with Wendy and her family. At the end of the night, Wendy hugged him at the door. "Hey, don't forget what I said earlier. Call me if you need me."
Kenny smiled as he thought about it on the walk home.
For a moment things felt alright.
It was dark outside. The snow was starting to fall again. He sighed, he really could never escape the snow. He lit up a cigarette and took a drag. He decided to take the long way to Craig's house. The biting cold didn't bother him much, though he did miss his truck.
He wondered where Karen was. He pulled out his phone and went to their conversation. He thought of texting her but then remembered he was supposed to be in hiding.
He shoved his phone in his pocket, "Fuck me." He groaned, "How can things be going so right and so wrong at the same time." He spoke to himself like there was someone there to listen.
He continued to walk down the dark street, puffing on his cigarette. He wondered if Wendy thought less of him now for opening up. He felt kind of embarrassed himself.
Kenny took a long drag. He looked at the house across the street. It was Stan's house, he lived in the same neighborhood as Wendy and Craig. He felt a pit in his stomach. He remembered playing in his yard as a kid. He crossed the street to get a better look at it.
A light was on in the living room. As he got closed he could see Randy and Sharon inside. They looked to be having an argument. He thought they fought almost as bad as his parents. He wondered what they were arguing about. He threw his cigarette down in the snow.
The Marsh's kept their blinds open late. He wondered if they forgot to close them because of the fight.
Kenny was standing on the sidewalk now staring inside. He couldn't help but look. He could see Sharon was crying as she yelled at her husband. Randy looked defeated. He was on the couch with his head in his hands.
Kenny felt like a creep.
Something about this scene made him feel like it was his fault. Were they fighting about Stan? Did this have something to do with Stan? Kenny still felt responsible for his death even though Stan's decline into alcoholism and depression had nothing to do with him. He couldn't help but feel guilty though like he'd taken Wendy away from him. He felt like maybe Wendy was the only string holding him to this world at the end.
Kenny felt a year slide down his face. He couldn't believe he was crying right now. He didn't even know why he was crying. Wendy would've eventually gotten with another guy anyway right? And Stan still would've died, right? His mind spun.
He'd been paying so little attention that he didn't even notice that Sharon and Randy had been staring at him through the window.
His stomach dropped as he made eye contact with Randy. He needed to get out of here. He stepped backward off the curb and directly into the headlights of a car. He went flying down the street and laid mangled on the sidewalk.
"God... fucking... DAMMIT!" He yelled out in agony. He was dying, but he wished it would go faster. He couldn't believe this was the second time in a row he'd died because of a car.
He laid his head back on the pavement and stared up at the stars. Suddenly Sharon, Randy, and a random man were standing over him. He assumed that to be the driver of the truck.
"Hang in there, Kenny. We'll get you an ambulance." Randy said to him, kneeling down next to him, "Just hang on."
"Oh god, I'm so sorry man. I didn't even see you!" The random man knelt down next to him too.
"Hey," Kenny said weakly, "Don't worry about it okay?" He tilted his head to the side. He could feel himself getting weaker.
"Kenny, don't you dare lay your head down." Randy said, "Damnit." He forced Kenny's head back up. "Stay with us. We're getting an ambulance."
"No ambulance..." Kenny said softly, his voice just barely above a whisper. "... just... let me die." He was having trouble keeping his eyes open now. He wondered if he would be seeing Damien or if he'd be waking up in his bed. He hoped he'd see Damien, he wanted to tell him about Wendy again.
"Sharon, he's losing so much blood!" Randy called out to his wife.
"Oh god, Randy, what do we do?" Sharon sounded like she was crying. Kenny wasn't too sure though. His consciousness was fading.
"I can't believe I just killed a guy, I'm going to jail." The random man wailed. If Kenny had more energy he'd laugh at that.
He could hear Sharon crying now. "Randy I can't... I can't keep watching young kids die. Why are we seeing this? First Stan and now his childhood friend dying in front of our house." She was sobbing.
"Sharon..." Randy's voice was barely audible to Kenny now, he was fading away.
Kenny wanted to open his mouth and say he was sorry. He felt so guilty for dying in front of their house. They'd forget about it soon anyway. He wished Stan was the one coming back and not him.
He opened his mouth but it was filled with the metallic taste of blood. He felt like he was drowning.
•••
Kenny shot up out of bed. His heart was pounding. The last thing he remembered was Sharon crying over his dying body. He must've not done anything too remarkable between now and his last death because he didn't make it to hell this time. Instead, he felt like only moments had passed.
His phone was in his pocket like nothing had happened, though he was sure it had gotten broken upon impact.
Kenny let out a sigh of relief. It was only the next day. He hadn't missed too much. He did have a few texts from Wendy though. He texted her back. He hoped she wasn't worried.
He threw himself back on his bed and stared at his ceiling. Kenny wondered if he should go back to Craig's.
He heard his door being pushed open and sat up quickly. He prayed it wasn't child protective services or some other bullshit.
Instead, he looked up and saw none other than Kevin, and he looked angry. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked, he sounded pissed.
"I've been..." Where had he been? "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."
"You bet your ass I wouldn't. Me and Karen have been searching for you all fucking night and then you waltz in here unnoticed and want to pretend like nothing happened?" He barked at him.
"Karen's here?" Kenny quickly pulled himself out of bed and walked towards the door. "Where is she?" Kevin wouldn't move out of the doorway. He was a lot bigger than Kenny too, he stood no chance of moving him without getting his ass beat.
"She's at school, dumbass. That's where your ass is supposed to be too." Kevin's eyes narrowed on him.
Kenny took a step back and crossed his arms. "I'm sorry, but who the fuck are you? Last time I saw you you were literally show cracked out that mom and dad turned you away." He couldn't help but laugh. "Why are you even here?"
"What do you mean why am I here?" Kevin was getting angry now too. He and Kenny were always like oil and water. "Our parents are in prison, and I'm here to watch over you and Karen."
"You're supposed to be looking after us? You couldn't look after a pet rock." Kenny responded. But he was still trying to process what was happening.
"I'm clean now," Kevin responded, he walked into Kenny's room and began opening his draws and going through all his shit.
"I doubt it. What are you even looking for? Money to go get high with?" Kenny could feel his anger building up.
"What the fuck is this?" He turned around and held up a bong. Kenny just stared blankly at him. "Are you doing drugs?" Kevin questioned.
Kenny just stared in bewilderment. He'd watched Kevin do heroin in the living room.
"I asked you a question," Kevin said shaking the bong in his face. Bong water splashed the floor.
"I'm smoking weed if that's what you mean," Kenny replied very nonchalantly.
"Yeah, that's how it fucking starts." Kevin dropped the bong on the hardwood floor. Kenny watched as it shattered to pieces. Glass covered his floor.
Was he in a dream? Kenny pinched himself, hard. This had to be hell, right?
"You're going to turn out just like mom and dad if you don't stop smoking weed." Kevin's voice sounded foreign.
"I've only ever smoked weed..." Kenny's voice sounded foreign too. Was this his reality now?
"Oh yeah? Don't act like you haven't been inhaling cat piss since you were ten-"
Kenny stood up off the bed. He heard glass crunch under his feet. If any stuck in him, he was too angry to feel it at the moment. "You're one to talk!" Kenny yelled, "Last time I saw you you were begging mom and dad for some meth. Now you waltz in here dressed like some kind of fucking Mormon and break my bong and tell me I'm going to end up like mom and dad. You're a joke."
Kenny looked for his boots. He walked over to them and began to pull them on his feet.
"I told you, I'm clean. And you'll be clean too while I'm in charge. You're going down the same path."
"And what about it?" Kenny hates feeling angry. He did feel like his parents at this moment. "Like you fucking didn't."
Kenny grabbed his orange coat out of his closet and pulled it on. He grabbed his keys off his nightstand.
"Yeah, I did and now I'm stopping you from making the same mistake. Mom and dad are in prison for the next six months, they could get out earlier for good behavior, but who knows with them." Kenny crossed his arms and waited for Kevin to finish, though all he wanted to do was leave. "But until then I'm you and Karen's legal guardian and there will be no drugs in this house."
"There's a meth lab in the backyard." Kenny walked out his door. Kevin was suddenly right behind him.
"Not anymore."
Kenny turned his head. The shed was gone from his backyard. He stopped and looked around his house for a moment. It actually looked somewhat good. Kevin must've cleaned while he was out. Though, no amount of cleaning could remove the holes punched in the drywall or the buckling hardwood floors. Maybe Kevin really had changed. Kenny still hated him though.
Kenny walked through his front door, leaving Kevin stewing inside the house. "You better be getting your ass to school." He called out after him.
Kenny got in his truck and pulled out of the driveway. As soon as he was out of view of his house he lit up a cigarette. The last place he wanted to go right now was school. He wanted to see Karen.
Kenny drove to the middle school. He wondered if they'd let him check Karen out for the rest of the day. It wasn't like his parents were around to actually check her out. He wondered if they would call Kevin.
He out of his cigarette in his cup holder and enter the school. He fingered it was worth a shot. The middle school seemed small and strange compared to high school. He walked up to the front office lady. "Hi, I was sent here to check out Karen McCormick. I'm her older brother, and I just found out our parents were arrested." He spoke to her with confidence. He didn't know what else to say. He figured it would need to be something dramatic for them to let him check her out for the day.
"Oh my," the lady replied, "Should we call someone?" She asked, she seemed worried.
"No, no," Kenny reassured her. "My aunt and uncle, they're going to take care of us. They're from out of town and they're on their way here now, that's why they can't check Karen out so they sent me instead." Kenny lied right through his teeth, but he needed to see if Karen was ok, and he was sure she didn't want to be in school anyway.
"Ah, I see." The office lady now just looked uncomfortable, but she called Karen down to the office anyway.
Kenny waited for Karen outside of the office.
"Kenny?" A voice called out, "What the hell?" Kenny looked up and saw Karen in front of him. He piled her into a hug. She hugged him back.
"Hey, let's go. Wanna ditch school?"
"Won't Kevin be mad?" She asked him, but she followed him outside anyway.
"Who gives a fuck?" Kenny replied. "How was watching mom and dad get arrested?"
Karen sighed, "Terrible, and embarrassing as always. Half my grade won't stop whispering about it in the hallways."
"I haven't even been back to school since then, but I'm sure everyone is whispering there too." Kenny unlocked his truck and him and Karen climbed in.
"So where were you the last two days?" Karen asked him as she set her backpack down in the middle seat of the truck.
"I've been with Craig." Kenny started his car, it was still warm from earlier. It reeked like cigarettes.
"Oh." Karen replied, "Me and Kevin had been looking for you."
"I know, he told me." Kenny pulled his hood up over his head. "Was Kevin rude to you?"
"No, why? He's clean now." Karen sounded happy. "I'm starting to remember the old him, you know like, before the drugs."
Kenny wished he could be more optimistic. All he could remember about Kevin was him fighting with him. They used to get physical when they were younger. Maybe they'd learned from watching their parents or getting hit by their parents. Kenny would always get his ass beat. One time Kevin even snapped his back, killing him. He shuttered at the thought. He hoped it was an accident though, and it never happened again because Kenny just stopped talking to him after that. His memory from him then on out was filled with Kevin on various drugs and stealing money from him to get high.
"Yeah, he's still an asshole." That was all Kenny had to say, "He broke my bong."
"You shouldn't be smoking weed anyway," Karen said very matter-of-factly.
Kenny didn't want to argue with her on that one. "Me and Kevin got into a screaming match."
"Over the broken bong?" Karen laughed at him, "That's stupid. It's just a bong."
"No, it's not over the bong." Kenny snapped and looked over at Karen. "It's because Kevin told me I was going to end up just like mom and dad."
Karen looked mad at first but then her face softened. "That's not true." She sounded mildly upset. "You wouldn't do that." She sounded like she was reassuring herself.
"You don't sound too sure." Kenny felt angry again. The last person he wanted to lash out at was Karen though. She'd done nothing. Maybe he was the problem. The pair sat in silence for a moment. Maybe Kenny would turn out like his parents.
All this conversation had done was reaffirm Bebe's accusations against him. Not even his sister believed he wouldn't become a drug addict dead in the sewer somewhere. Maybe he was too bad for Wendy.
"I missed you," Kenny said after another moment passed. "I worried about you a lot."
"It was okay. I'm just glad I didn't get put into another group home. I think things will be easier this way." Karen was always so optimistic.
Kenny was wishing for the group home now. He'd drink Dr. Pepper every day if it meant avoiding Kevin.
Kenny just smiled at Karen weakly. "Yeah... let's hope."
"It will be don't worry. We can all be a family again." Karen smiled at him, he almost felt bad for her. Maybe he could pretend to like Kevin just for her.
"Yeah..." Kenny said again. He didn't really know what to say. "Wanna grab some food? I need to kill time before we're supposed to be out of school."
Karen nodded and he drove off into South Park with her. God how he was wishing he was at a group home.
•••
Wendy had gone to school like normal. She hadn't expected Kenny to text her back all morning, she assumed he was sleeping at Craig's house until the late hours of the afternoon. She felt like she was on some type of high today. She couldn't get Kenny out of her head.
In the morning she'd hitched a ride to school with Red and gushed about the day before to her. For the first time in a while, she actually felt excited and happy. She felt like maybe this relationship was going somewhere.
Not even Bebe glaring at her across the halls all day could ruin her mood.
At the end of the day, she stood by her locker. She was looking at her phone. Kenny had been texting her all afternoon. He'd told her that he was back at home now but it was a long story. She wondered if his parents were back already.
Wendy closed her locker and slung her bag over her shoulder. She started to walk outside. She figured she'd take the bus today. She usually rode with Bebe and Red had work right after school today so she couldn't give her a ride.
"Hey, Wendy." A voice called out, she turned around and was surprised to see Kyle. She hasn't seen Kyle in awhile. She figured he was grieving still. Him and Stan were like brothers.
"Hey, Kyle." Wendy smiled at him, "How are you?"
Kyle smiled back at her, "I could be better honestly. I wanted to talk to you actually."
"Okay, but we have to hurry or I'll miss my bus." She replied, she wondered what he wanted to talk about.
"Damn. I can give you a ride home. This might be a minute."
"Okay... what's up?" Wendy was starting to get concerned now.
"It's kind of about Stan," Kyle replied.
"Oh." She looked at him. The last person she wanted to talk about right now was Stan. "What about him?"
"It's just..." Kyle sighed, "You know. I've been feeling kind of guilty lately about him... well, you know." Kyle couldn't even bring himself to say it.
"Yeah... I mean... if we're being honest I do too." She admitted softly.
"What do you mean?" Kyle laughed lightly, "Why would you feel guilty?"
"Well you know me and Kenny..." she trailed off, "I feel like I broke his heart even more."
Kyle just looked away from her. "Yeah well, I should've been a better friend to him. I tried to get some people together to talk to him and no one came. I feel like I should've been there for him more."
"I'm sorry, Kyle." Wendy looked down at the ground. She had no idea how to reply to him. "I really am so sorry." She felt tears prick her eyes but she held them back because she could see tears calling from Kyle's eyes already. For some reason, she felt she needed to be strong at this moment.
"God you know, if I could only go back-"
Wendy reached out and touched him softly. "We'd all like to go back and do things differently." She said reassuringly.
Kyle dried his eyes. "Yeah... I guess we would." They stood quietly. The moment was somber and not tense.
"Did you just need someone to vent to?" She asked.
"Well no I just wanted to get some reassurance..." Kyle trailed off. "You and me were the only people really close to Stan. He didn't really talk to anyone else, and I know you guys had been broken up for a while but still. You knew him well."
Wendy wished she didn't know him as well as she did. She and Kyle had known him their whole lives. It felt strange with him not around anymore. Even though he and Wendy weren't together she'd always imagined him being not too far away. She'd never imagined he'd disappear completely.
"Well, I just wanted to ask you if I did something wrong." Kyle finished, "Did he ever talk about me? Did he tell you I was a bad friend?"
Wendy looked at Kyle and felt her heart wrench in her gut. "No, Kyle why would you think that? Stan loved you like a brother." She stepped forward and embraced him softly. "He thought of you as his best friend."
Kyle cried for a moment and Wendy held him. It felt kind of strange. She didn't think she'd ever hugged Kyle before. "David was always in my ear telling me Stan was a bad friend, but I still tried to help him."
"I know, I know you tried your best." She was trying to be comforting but she didn't know if she was helping. She was starting to feel bad too. "There was nothing anyone could've done." Thought deep down she felt like she could've done something to stop it. Maybe if she hadn't dumped him on New Year's Eve he'd still be here now.
Wendy let go of Kyle but she couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see his eyes filled with tears because she felt on the verge of crying herself. She wondered why Kyle asked her for reassurance that he was a good friend.
She wondered if it was part of his grieving. She knew they were all just trying to feel okay.
The school hallways were empty at this point. "I'm sorry I kept you here so long." Kyle said, "I'll give you a ride home now."
Wendy nodded and followed him to the parking lot. Kyle drove a white Prius, Wendy, though it was a perfect fit for him.
When they arrived David was leaning against Kyle's car holding flowers in his hand. "Hey, what took you so long mi amour?" He asked as they approached.
"Oh yeah, Wendy?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm gay, by the way. If Cartman asks though, I'm not." Kyle shook his head.
Wendy tried to act surprised. She'd known for a while now. Kenny had told her on New Years'.
"Sorry, I was just talking to Wendy. Who are the flowers for?" He asked.
"I was actually wondering if you wanted to go out them on Stan's grave." David replied kind of sheepishly, "I know today you were probably trying to get your mind off him, but I've been doing a lot of thinking. I was a little rough on Stan while he was here. I think I need to pay my respects, and probably apologize to him too."
"I'd love to do that with you." Kyle smiled weakly.
"Can I come too?" Wendy asked suddenly, "I'd like to apologize to him too."
Kyle nodded and they all piled into Kyle's tiny car. They rode in silence to the South Park cemetery.
Wendy looked out the window as they drove and music softly played from the stereo. When they got there Kyle parked and they all walked up to Stan's grave together.
They all looked at the headstone. It was small and flat. Wendy hated looking at how short his life was. In a way, it wasn't fair.
"I guess I'll start," David said, stepping forward. "Hey Stan, I know we weren't always great to each other when you were here. Actually, I talked a lot of shit about you."
Kyle just shook his head and they all were silent again.
"I guess I wanted to say I'm sorry. You were a pretty great friend to my boyfriend and I should've tried to be a better friend to you. I brought you these." He set the flowers in the vase next to the grave, "Sorry I'm a little too late."
David stood up and backed away from Stan's grave.
"Can I say something?" Kyle asked. David and Wendy nodded in unison.
"Stan, I miss you. I miss you a lot. I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you enough. I loved you. You were family to me." Kyle spoke like he was talking directly to Stan. In a way it made Wendy feel comforted like maybe everything was going to be okay.
"You were stupid Stan. But I was stupid too. I know you wouldn't want me to blame myself, so I'll try not to. I think about you every day though. I miss you." He said again. He backed away from the grave and that only left Wendy.
Kyle and David looked at her expectantly. Wendy felt kind of nervous. Maybe she'd been pushing her feelings towards Stan's death away for too long.
She stepped forward. She knew David and Kyle wouldn't judge her.
"Hey Stan..." she started, "I'm sorry that I broke your heart. You were my first crush, ever. After we broke up I felt free..." Wendy felt tears prick her eyes, "But when you died I felt like I lost a part of me." She wiped her tears, she didn't want to cry.
"I know things weren't always perfect with us, but we had some good times. Maybe I could've been a better girlfriend to you, maybe we both could've been better to each other. I wish you were still here because I miss you too. I know you dreamed of getting out here and I always thought you would." Wendy was getting choked up. She let the tears fall from her eyes now.
"I'm so sorry it had to end like this." She looked down and cried for a moment, cover up her eyes. A flood of emotions rushed through her. She felt like she hadn't been able to fully admit that she was sad about Stan's passing until now.
She felt like she wasn't supposed to feel sad since he was her ex, but she still did. They'd spent such a long time together, she thought it was only natural.
She felt Kyle rest a hand on her shoulder.
Wendy stepped back in the snow. "I feel kind of better. A little lighter."
"You have no idea how much lighter I feel." David smiled, trying to lighten up the mood.
Kyle smiled too, "I wonder if Stan is somewhere watching us right now."
"It's a nice thought," David replied he put an arm around Kyle.
"Thank you, for taking me here." Wendy said softly, "I didn't know how much I needed this until now."
Kyle nodded and the three of them looked at Stan's grave one last time. Wendy felt peaceful, she wondered if Kyle and David felt the same way. She hoped they did.
