Jim: I work at Taco Bell.
Zeldafan422: I own nothing.
Jim: But he does like Taco Bell.
Zeldafan422: Yep.
Chapter Five: Jim, Chicken Burritoes, an Opera Solo, and More!
"C'mon you stupid ant," Ganondorf complained angrily. "We need to make it to...uh where are we going again?"
"Zora's Domain, you idiot!" the ant yelled.
"Yeah," said Ganondorf. "We need to be there by nightfall!" He kicked the ant in the behind in attempts to make him go faster.
"Why do we have to be there by nightfall?" the ant asked impatiently, while rubbing his hindquarters.
"..." Ganondorf opened his mouth for words, but none came out. "Well...we need to be there by night because...just keep moving and stop asking stupid questions!"
Once they had snuck out of Kakariko Village they didn't have much longer to go before they made it to Zora's Domain.
"Hey ant," Ganondorf said. "What's your name anyway?"
"Well, my friends call me Ernesto Chicken Burrito, but you can call me Ant."
"Why do your friends-"
"Don't ask," Ant replied quickly. "There are some things in this world that are better left unsaid." Ganondorf was about to inquire farther, but changed his mind. Things that involved chicken burritos usually had a rough outcome...'
LIEK OMG: A FLASHBACK
Ganondorf was normal size walking into Taco Bell, and was in a cheery mood because this was around the time where he took over Hyrule.
"Yeah pal, I'll have two chicken burritos," he said. "Make them extra juicy."
The register man nodded nervously. If you made it the way Lord Ganon wanted, he would give you a huge tip. If not, well let's just say some internal organs would be rearranged.
Two minutes later, the register dude (Jim) walked over to the table with Ganondorf's order. Ganondorf opened the tacos up...and one of them came to life! It jumped up from the table and knocked him to the ground.
LIEK OMG: END FLASHBACK
Why was the register guy named Jim? How can a burrito jump? Why did Ganondorf order it extra juicy? I don't know. ANYWAY, while Ganondorf was revisiting his flashback, he and Ant had been walking for a long time and had finally reached the enormous waterfall of Zora's Domain.
"Oh great," complained Ganondorf. "How do we get in?"
"Don't worry pal," said Ant. "I have prepared a special exercise for this." Ant dropped his bags and began dancing around in a circle, chanting made up words.
After his dance was over, it started raining.
"Wow Einstein," Ganondorf said angrily. "You've appealed to the rain gods, congrats!" Ant frowned and muttered something about being unappreciated.
"THIS is how you do it," said Ganondorf. "Ahem. LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA LA LA LA LA LA LA." Ant fell to the ground clutching is ears in pain. "LA LA LA LAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"Don't die from lack of oxygen again," said Ant, but then his jaw dropped in amazement.
The waterfall was opening. They had made it to Zora's Domain.
Inside
"OH MY GOSH! OH. MY. GOSH." said Ant.
"What? What? Did something happen?" Ganondorf was frantically waving his arms in Ant's face for the reason that he was staring at something. "Did something go wrong?"
"Plaaaaasmaaaa screeeeeen," Ant drooled as he pointed inside the Zora's Domain shop. Ganondorf peered inside to see a GIGANTIC plasma screen TV with huge speakers, surround sound, combo DVD/mircowave/poprcorn maker, mp3 player, Apple iPod, email and internet access-
"IS THERE ANYTHING THIS STUPID THING CAN'T DO?" Ganondorf screamed in frustration because Ant could not take his eyes off it.
"Well," said a guy from the Zora Geek Squad. "It does your laundry, does your chores, cleans your room, talks, and has every single channel known to man, and several known to Gorons! There's also-"
"Oh just forget it!" Ganondorf said and grabbed Ant by the collar, walking out of the shop.
And shook his head and snapped out of the multi media plasma screen trance. "So, where do they keep that spiritual stone?"
"Ha, the last time I came to this place they kept it inside a stupid fish," Ganondorf complained. "So I..."
FLASHBACK
Ganondorf is his normal height and is standing in front of a very fat Zora, who is eight hundred years old. (Zora King from OOT)
"Hey Kingy!" said Ganondorf. "I'm-a give you twenty seconds, to move your fat BLEEP off that stupid throne, and let that fish give me that Water Stone."
"Well for one it's a whale-"
"20. 19. 18."
"Okay, okay!" yelled the Zora King. He began moving to the side, one milliliter at a time. "Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep."
"8. 7. 6. 5."
"Hang on I'm almost done!" the King said nervously. "Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep. Mweep."
"3. 2. 1. Time's up chubzilla!" Ganondrof kicked the old Zora in his vitals and ran off to Jabu Jabu.
"You kids!" King Zora said, and fainted.
Ganondorf ran up to Jabu Jabu. "I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE WATER STONE. WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?"
"Mweep."
END FLASHBACK
"And that's why I never got that stone," the Gerudo concluded.
"Hmm," said Ant. "How's about we feed him fish?"
"I never thought of that," said Ganondorf, and pulled a week old salmon out of his pocket. "Let's go!"
End Chapter Five
This chapter was long and hopefully funny! w00t! Oh, and Jim will make a comeback in a future chapter. I will give no hints! R&R!
