Ivan: HEY! LOOK LISTEN! HEY HEY HEY!

Ganondorf: Silence! I pwn you fool.

Ivan: But the author pwns nothing Legend of Zelda related. Except me, but I'm not exactly LOZ related.

Ganondorf: Yep.


Chapter Six: The King of Evil and a Fairy Become the Best of Friends

Ganondorf and Ant fed Jabu-Jabu the fish and were sucked inside of the whale.

"Goodness!" Ganondorf said. "Now I have all this filth on me!"

"You look cleaner than you usually do," the ant muttered under his breath.

"OH GREAT, NOW WHAT DO WE DO!" said Ganondorf. "THE STUPID DOOR THING IN FRONT OF US IS LOCKED. HOW CAN THERE BE DOORS INSIDE OF A WHALE?"

Shigeru Miyamoto: Use your imagination.

"ALRIGHT SO THERE'S A DOOR," Ganondorf said angrily, and as imaginative as he could be. "But how the heck do we get in there? It's times like this where I actually wish we had a stupid fairy like Link. Although she does say 'hey' a little too much."

"Why?" asked the ant.

"When I took over the world," Ganondorf said. "That stupid Link found a fairy and the fairy was givin' him all the answers on how to defeat me."

"Ohh.." said the ant. "Well there's gotta be a fairy in here. It IS a whale after all."

"That makes absolutely no sense, but I will try to use this new found 'imagination'," Ganondorf said, and concentrated as hard as he could on fairies.

Pretty soon, a purple fairy named Ivan (Navi spelled backwards. Sorry, I don't have the imagination of Ganondorf." flew up to him.

"Hey! Look! Listen!" said the fairy. Ohhh..boy. "I am Navi's opposite, and I will help you on your quest to rule the world again."

"Yay!" said the King of Evil. Who heard of an evil king saying 'Yay!'? Never mind. "Now I don't need this stupid ant anymore."

"YOU'LL BE SORRY GANONDORF DRAGMIRE!" said the ant, as he ran out of the whale. And he would be sorry. But that is another chapter.

"Alright," said Ganondorf. "What do we do now? I need to find a way to open that door."

"Shoot the thing up there with your slingshot," said Ivan.

"Umm..." said Ganondorf nervously. "I don't have a slingshot."

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET IT IN THE GREAT DEKU TREE!" screamed Ivan.

"I killed that stupid thing," said Ganondorf. "So it's too late now."

"Fine, then," said Ivan. "You're just going to have to find some other way."

"I know!" said Ganondorf. "I'll throw YOU at it!"

"Wait no!" Ivan yelled as Ganondorf grabbed him. "I didn't mean-"

Too late. Ganondorf chucked Ivan as hard as he could at the thing. Sure enough, it worked, and the door opened.

"HA!" Ganondorf laughed, triumphant. "I'm a genius! Let's go!"

"I have a splitting headache.." moaned Ivan, but still followed Ganondorf.

In the next room, they found a bunch of jellyfish, anda bunch of holes. Ganondorf ran up to the jellyfish and tried to punch one of them.

"No!" Ivan shouted. "You idiot!"

Once again, too late. Ganondorf punched the jelly fish as hard as he could and began to wail loudly. He sat down on the ground and started crying for his mom.

"We really have to work on our communication," Ivan said, getting really impatient.

"Fine," Ganondorf said. "Which way do we go now?"

There were three doors.

"Go through the one on the left, because we need the boomerang," Ivan told him. "We need the boomerang so that you can attack jellyfish, and do neat stuff. And THEN, you won't have to throw ME at all those things."

"Okay," Ganondorf said. "Let's-a go!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait," Ivan said really fast. "Slow down there. Only Mario can say 'Let's-a go' or anything with -a."

"Awww man," Ganondorf complained. "That sucks."

"Tell me about it," Ivan said sarcastically. "Just follow me." Ivan flew through the door and Ganondorf followed, still upset that he couldn't do Mario impressions.

Once they walked through a few more doors. They came across a ton of enemies.

Ganondorf shrieked like a little girl. "AHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!"

Ivan rolled his eyes and pulled out a machine gun. He shot up all the enemies. Once that over, a treasure chest appeared. Ganondorf ran up to it and opened it enthusiastically like a small child would open a birthday present.

"Crap," Ganondorf complained. "It's just a stupid boomerang!"

"This 'stupid' boomerang," Ivan began, "is going to get us that Spiritual Stone."

Okay, so they did a bunch of dungeoun stuff. You know, solve puzzles, use the boomerang, open treasure chests, until they come up to this giant octopus that started chasing Ganondorf.

"AAHHH!" Ganondorf screamed as he tried to run away from it. "IT'S CHASING ME! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!"

"I can't!" screamed Ivan. "Try to attack it from behind!"

Ganondorf put on a burst of speed and ran around the circle as fast as he could. Once he caught up with the crazed octopus, he prepared to attack it.

But it turned around.

They collided into each other and then there was a huge explosion.

"GANONDORF! GANONDORF!" Ivan screamed. "Are you okay!"

The smoke cleared, and Ganondorf was lying on the ground covered with scorch marks.

"Well I beat it," coughed Ganondorf. "And I've got a ton of third degree-burns, but yeah I'm okay."

"Cut the sarcasm," Ivan said dryly. "Now let's go fight the boss and get out of here."

The walked and solved a lot more puzzles and all that dungeon goodness, and they finally got to the boss.

"Oh man!" Ganondorf complained loudly. "Why did I have to put all these enemies, bosses, and traps in here?"

"I don't know," Ivan said sourly. "But then again, no one can comprehend your level of stupidity."

"Shut it, and tell me how to beat the boss!" Ganondorf commanded the fairy angrily.

"Fine," Ivan said. "You could just pull out your paintball gun and shoot it."

"Worth a shot," Ganondorf replied, and pulled it down. "EAT PAINTBALLS SUCKA!" he screamed as he fired the gun multiple times.

Since this is a stupid comedy where anything and everything can happen, it worked. The paintballs hit Barinade directly, and he exploded into a million pieces. A blue warp thing opened up and the Spiritual Stone of Water appeared.

Ganondorf ran over and picked it up. "Yay!" he shouted. "The magical text!"

Good job Ganondorf. You are now the master of water. Hey, are you still reading this?

"Woo-hoo!" Ganondorf said, and started dancing comically. "To the Temple of Time!"

End Chapter Six