Chapter Seven: The Temple of Time
Ganondorf and Ivan began to run (and fly!)over toward Hyrule Castle Town. It began to pour rain and a huge storm was brewing up in the sky.
"Oh GREAT!" Ganondorf screamed angrily. "The drawbridge is SHUT! Now we're going to be stuck out here all night!"
"Not necessarily," Ivan commented dryly. "It seems to be opening up."
"Shut up," Ganondorf commanded him, and was about to head in until he saw a horse with two people coming out really fast.
It was Impa with Zelda hanging onto her from the back. Impa gave him the finger, and Zelda tossed a smal blue object into the moat. Next, another figure on horseback was storming out on a large and scary black horse.
"HEY!" Ganondorf yelled. "That's MY large and scary black horse!"
Ganondorf looked to see who it was on the horse, and to his shock it was his arch nemesis Link.
"Hahahahaha," Link laughed evilly for a long time, although not to the point of oxygen loss. "FOOL! Tell me which way Princess Zelda went!"
"Never!" Ganondorf insisted. "I won't ever tell you! Not an even for a chocolate chip cookie!"
"What about TWO chocolate chip cookies?" Link asked as he pulled out two delicious and hot cookies.
"That way," Ganondorf answered, and grabbed the cookies. "See ya."
"Stupid kid," Link said, and rode off. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"I am NOT a stupid kid! I'm just really small," Ganondorf responded sadly.
"Go to the river you idiot," Ivan told him. "Zelda through something in there."
"Stew-pid Ivan," began the King of English and Grammar. "It's 'threw', not 'through'."
"You can shut up now Ganondorf," Ivan commanded, and Ganondorf put on a sad face and went over to the river. He jumped in and began swimming.
"AHH!" he yelled. "It's way too big! It's like, three times larger than me! There's no way I can play it."
"Grrr.." Ivan moaned and zapped it down with his fairy powers so it could be small enough for Ganondorf to play.
"YES! WOO-HOO! YIPPEE!" Ganondorf picked up the Ocarina and got out of the water and began cheering. "It's the Ocarina of Time!"
"Uh-huh," Ivan said. "Now let's go into the Temple of Time now that we have all the Spiritual Stones."
"Works for me," Ganondorf replied. "After all I am the King of Evil, English, Grammar, Forest Stuff, Fire Stuff, and Water Stuff. And now, TIME stuff!"
"Whatever," Ivan commented dryly. "Let's just go."
Ganondorf ran into the bustling market of Hyrule and ran towards the Temple of Time. He made sure not to step too close to anyone or else he might have gotten stepped on. Finally, he made it to the entrance.
"Ughh.." he groaned. "Large double doors." He ran up and pushed with all of his might. But the doors wouldn't open.
Ganondorf pulled out a bomb and threw it. He ran away and ducked under a rock. It exploded loudly and to this day there are no doors to the Temple of Time, or in the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
"Okay," Ganondorf began. "I have to put the Spiritual Stones in, right?"
"Uh-huh," Ivan nodded.
Ganondorf walked over and pulled all of the stones out of his pouch. He struggled with carrying them and was having a hard time keeping them in his arms. The janitor was mopping the floor, and forgot to put up a Wet Floor sign. Ganondorf slipped, and the stones shattered.
Ivan and Ganondorf just stood there for a few moments, absolutely dumbstruck.
"I cannot believe it," Ivan said. "You've screwed the whole world."
"I'M SORRY!" Ganondorf screamed and began crying. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO! IT'S THE JANITOR'S FAULT!"
Ivan sighed loudly. "I suppose I'll have to use the machine gun again." He shot open the secret passage which led to the Master Sword.
"YAY!" Ganondorf exclaimed and ran into the room. Suddenly Link ran up and snatched the Triforce.
"Hahahaha!" Link laughed maniacally, and began to glow. "You've done two things for me! You've destroyed the Spiritual Stones, and you've gotten me the Triforce! Thanks, shrimp!"
"No!" Ganondorf shouted and unsheathed the Master Sword. "I'll stop you!" He charged at Link fiercely with the sword but was immediately hit with a sleep dart.
"Where am I?" he said dizzily as he stood up. "What happened?"
"You've been sleeping for seven years," Ivan informed him. "I've been so dang bored just watching you drool for over half a decade."
"SEVEN YEARS!" Ganondorf began to panic. "Get me a mirror! Is my hair turning gray?"
"No," Ivan scoffed. "Geez, the whole world is in peril, and you're more concerned about your hair color."
"What the heck are you even talking about?" Ganondorf asked in a Napoleon Dynamite voice.
"Link has conquered Hyrule," Ivan said dryly. "I was right. You've screwed the world."
"Woo-hoo!" Ganondorf cheered loudly. "I say we celebrate with..Bud Light!"
"No.." Ivan replied. "I have a drinking problem...there have been, shall we say, incidents in the past."
"Whatever," he laughed. "More for me!"
End Chapter Seven
