Chapter six: Nothing Left toLive For
"It's been a year since I was with Bankotsu. Everything with him was so perfect. I have never felt this way about another man before. Nobody besides him has ever called me "beautiful" twice. Besides my parents of course, but they meant it differently.
Our dates were...Not-so-princess-like. Spending the whole night in a bar while watching your husband get illegally drunk wasn't exactly what I had in mind. How is he by the way? Well, all those hang-overs he got sure didn't teach him a lesson... I sure wish he would quit drinking though...It's a bad habbit to get into.
On nights where he would leave the house drunk or angry, I would lay in bed worried sick. I knew some of him was still a killer. I had no control of what he did after he would leave the house. I could only hope he would make the right decisions.
When he would return home, I would always feel so much better. Like I no-longer had to worry. He would return with flowers sometimes, kiss me and tell me how much he loves me, and in returnI would do the same. But sometimes, he would come home seeming more missrirable then before he left. He left the house often, and sometimes we would fight about it.
I felt safe with him, knowing if anything were to happen to me, he would be right their, his bold figure defending me. I felt so safe when he would grabe me and hold me; when I was in his strong arms. I knew deep down behind that dead zombie there was a boy who was finaly getting the affection he deserved. I would always tell him he was the greast thing that had ever happened to me, and tell him I loved him. I knew he appreciated it."
"They say true love is a gift givin from god, but what if you belive otherwise? God was against me in this battle for survival. And the odds were slim. Until I was to meet Sango. She gave me a different look on life. I no-longer felt the need to throw away the lives of others. Maybe that's because she cared about everybody.
She always wanted to help out others, even if we were just walking down the streets, there was always somebody in need of help. And everyday, she taught me to care for others insted of hating them. SHE was my blessing. My cry for help. And in times when felt the deadness inside of me taking over me, she as there to help me and soothe me. It seems you were always helping me...
You did the best you could in taking care of me. Turns out the once brave mercenary/knight wasn't so defendable after all. It seemed as the days faded into one another, I grew more and more aware of my TRUE self. The self inside of me that didn't want to kill, but die.
I was forcing my body to walk on while it only reallyed wanted to do was rest beside her while she ran her fingers though my bangs. I knew I was safe with her. But did she feel the same with me?
I noticed she sometimes fell uneasy around me. Whether it was when I was drinking or when I was just alone. Somehow, I knew she thaught I couldn't handle myself. The half of me that wanted to kill and die, I could tell she were afraid of it. As if she only liked one side of me...
But I loved all of her. Her sweet smile, the way her soft lips touch against my cold body, and when she would hold my hand tightly when she got scared. I knew I had died because of my wrong doings, and now I beliv I was brought back to live so I could fall in love with Sango..."
The forest was still and quiet. Not even the crickets made a sound. The only noise was of the soft whisper of the wind brushing threw the leaves. But somehow, Bankotsu knew he wasn't alone. He knew that someone else was there, and if only he could see him.
He left the house only wearing a white hakama top and pants, and had NO weapons. Unarmed, he felt uneasy walking threw the forest alone. For once, he felt like wht he was doing, wasn't such a good idea. Walking alone, he kept his eyes open and sences sharp.
"So Bankotsu, it seems you have failed your mission in bringing me the girl..." A deep voice echoed. Bankotsu looked around himself, but no one could be seen. Gritting his teeth together, he waited for the voice to speak again.
"I thaught for sure the brave mercenary could do it, but no that you've decided to become a knight insted, I had all my fate in you. Unless, you haven't come across her yet. Pretty pathatic if you haven't." After hearing the voice once more, Bankotsu came to one conslusion- Naraku.
"Naraku! Show you're self!" He shouted, looking around to see where the man would appear. Of all times he had to run into Naraku, this would have to be the worst. He had no weapons to fight nor defend himself with. Clenching his fists together, the young man knew he couldn't escape from Naraku. After all, he was the one who broght Bankotsu back to life in the first place. And as easily as he brough him back, he could just as easily take him back. And he wasn't about to give himself away like that. Not again.
" I'll give you one more week, Bankotsu. If you don't bring Sango to me, I'll kill the both of you, and you'll NEVER be able to walk on this dispicable land again..." Naraku explained, his voice fading on his last words.
Pluse...
Bankotsu clutched his body tightly. He could feel himself dying inside. Naraku wasn't bluffing- he was serious. It was a loose, loose situation. Naraku WOULD kill Sango if Bankotsu didn't.
But what was he to do? Sango meant everything to him- he loved her. She was the first person to love him in return. He couldn't possibily kill her. Or could he? Was he that lustfull for life that he would kill her? If he didn't, he would have to put up with the pains of being dead until Naraku killed them both. But, if he did hand Sango over, he would be alive again. No more emptiness, no more coldness- he wouldn't have to worry about himself passing out or his body giving in. But he would be alone again. Having no choice but to become a mercenary or knight once again, and go back to causing pain for others in return for his pain and guilt. Everything was just getting worse, and now, Bankotsu had to make the biggest decision of his ENTIRE life...
Author's notes: OMG! That was so short! (and boring...) Yet it took me forever to wright... Huh. Oh well. Since I've been updating this story very quickly, I've decided to take a little break. I already know how it's going to end, I'm just wondering if you do... Plus, I wanna get working on another Ban/San story I have going about a murder. Hopefully, it will have more chapters then this fairy tale. So, like always, R&R!
Much love,
Metal-Assassin
