COLE

I was worried about Jade, but I wanted to be done with packing today, so I finished with the clothes and got to the trinkets that were clearly mine, like my fishing trophies.

As they walked back through the patio door, Alison looked thoughtful but Jade looked revolted and weakened. I knew it was a mistake to let her talk to Alison alone. I should have been with her. I was furious at myself, at Alison.

"What did you do to her? What the hell did you tell her?"

Jade had her arms wrapped around herself, her eyes clouded as she replied, "Oh, nothing that I haven't told you myself. Just that you'll get bored and go back to Ali soon because you haven't stopped loving her, so I should convince you not to divorce her so soon. Her labor on my insecurities worked quite well, actually. I feel like shit." She gave Alison the middle finger. "I'm going to carry these boxes to the car and walk back home. I'll leave the keys in the ignition for your drive back."

She took one of the boxes she helped pack and calmly walked outside, not looking at either of us. I watched the door close behind her, frozen in place. I scowled at Alison, who I noticed was lightly smiling, and shook my head at her in disgust. I spat "I love her, you cruel, vindictive asshole." and ran after Jade.

I took the box from her and carelessly dropped it on the floor. I held her and whispered in her ear "Don't. I love you." I squeezed her close and kept on whispering, swaying us for comfort. "Please believe me. She's trying to manipulate you. I'm rushing the divorce because I want you, because I don't want her between us, please believe me". I kissed her teary face countless times.

She cradled my cheek in her hand. "I do believe that you feel for me, but how can you erase 11 years in 2 weeks? You wanted to have another child with her. I'm begging you, stop lying to yourself; it's making you lie to me, too."

"Jade, I don't even mind her cheating. She doesn't occur to me anymore. How could I feel so complete with you if I still loved her, so soon after her betrayal? I don't feel one way or the other about the divorce; I'm not doing it out of spite, it's just a formality. In life, sometimes you make a decision and it brings you the peace you've been yearning for. You're the one whom I've never stopped loving. I realize that now. It came back like an avalanche and it's not going to stop. You're nowhere near ready yet, Jade, but I'll marry you, you'll see."

She had softened a little. "I'm the one who's not ready, huh? Your points aren't invalid. I'll think about it. But it's the right move for me to leave now. You two need to grow a pair and talk to each other. I think Alison needs more convincing than I do. Go back inside. Call me if you need my animalistic strength; I can still help you with the other boxes." She put the box in the trunk of her car and left me with my wife.

My wife's voice behind me said "She doesn't believe your bullshit about not loving me anymore, does she?"

"You're correct, she doesn't." I turned to her. "But it's true. I not only regret spending so many empty years with you when I could have been with her, but I also couldn't care less about your absence in my life. It's weird to me too that I haven't missed you even once. I swear, I just didn't. It's as if you got short-circuited out of my head. This house doesn't smell good to me anymore. I'll tell you what I just told Jade. I am not divorcing you with feeling. No spite, anger, jealousy, or revenge. You and I won't be around each other anymore because I don't like you. Why stay married? I'll probably be with Jade for the rest of my life."

She digressed. "She is a lot less timid and much smarter than she looks. She has an answer to everything. She told me I have abandonment issues because of Athena. Am I that manipulative, Cole? Am I like my mom?"

"No, Ali. You're worse. I hate your mother, but she is free and hurting others doesn't motivate her. She's only selfish, careless, repulsively honest. Whereas you burn in your own hellfire and burn others just because you feel like it. You didn't become like this after we lost Gabriel. I wish that was the case and there was an excuse. You hurt me a lot more after his death, though. You're sadistic."

"We were going to have another baby, Cole. Don't leave me."

"You made your own bed. You weren't faithful even though you were jealous of me with other women. I tried so hard to make it work, but pleasing you is impossible. You don't respond to kindness or compassion. The better a person treats you, the more you use them. You search for a pledge, you want to be worshipped like a god but you don't give anything back but sex. You never saw me as your equal. You played me from the moment you told me Jade didn't and wouldn't like me."

"We have a wonderful sex life. You won't find the same passion with her; she has the psyche of a DMV clerk. You'll regret leaving me."

"Really, Alison? This is how you ask me back into your life? There's a lot more passion in life than what you and I have experienced. You're beautiful and sexy, but you lack subtlety. You don't receive, you take. You think passion is to fuck hard, for fuck's sake. That's why life with Jade is better and more fulfilling than it can ever be with you."

"Noah thinks I'm the best sex he's ever had."

"To each their own. Thanks for finally acknowledging him, by the way. A step towards the truth. Considering that you used present tense, I deduce you're still together? Why the fuck are you telling me not to leave, then? And tell me, why did you cheat on me so much?"

She shrugged. "You bored me."

"Well, you're boring me now. Here's a list I made of what I want from the house. Do you want any of these? I packed the marked ones already."

After a cursory look, she said "No, take it all. How about this for keeping you entertained: Jade advised me that if I want you to delay the divorce, I should be direct with you and ask for it."

"What can I say, she is a good person and innately honest. Also, great advice. The answer is thanks, but no thanks. I'd sooner give Oscar a chance."

"I'm not going to ask you to delay it, but I'll follow her advice and be honest. I am officially changing my mind about this. The more you talk to me, the more I realize your indifference to me isn't an act. I expected you to act a lot more emotionally. Beg me to break it off with Noah. Pull a gun on him or something. Get angry with Jade for being the bearer of bad news. But not this."

She continued. "I have seen you together with Jade twice now and your interaction has surprised me, gave me flashbacks. The bond you have is remarkable, different than most relationships. And it's almost identical to when we were teens. You loved each other so much, then, too; it exploded out of you both. You thought Jade was too high above you to love you. Jade thought you could have any girl, why her. Maybe I should have helped you find each other. But I wanted you to look at me like you looked at Jade, so I tried to make that happen instead. I succeeded but it wasn't the same. I resented you for that, and because of that, I made up for what we were missing a little too destructively. But that's…me. I haven't seen any two people look at each other like you and Jade did and still do. Did you know that Cherry told me her son was back? I understand what she meant now. While packing with her, you laughed out loud three times. I counted. Sounded strange to me because I wasn't used to hearing it. Maybe your rejoining was inevitable. She really loves you; she'd feed you to alligators herself if she knew that's what you wanted.

"I release you, Cole Lockhart."

I was so happy I hugged her.


ALISON

Noah was falling for me but he was still not telling me anything concrete about leaving his wife. I was trying out reverse psychology and telling him I don't want to pressure him, but just yesterday, he promised that she'd talk to her, and I believed him. In case he chickens out again, I can now finally tell him that I left my husband for him. This should give him some incentive to speed things up. He doesn't need to know about Cole and Jade. I hope Jade doesn't parade Cole around to show the whole town she's with him now.

I told Cole I agreed for the divorce. To be honest, it was a win-win situation. In case things don't work out with Noah and I want Cole back again, it'd be best if I act as much like Jade as possible. Make him think like I wasn't so bad in the first place. Look like I sacrificed my love so that he's happy. Jade is a stick in the mud, but today she reminded me a thing or two about how to act like an angel. I was rusty at that. If Cole could go as far as thinking I'm worse than Athena, I must have gone too far, got too lax. Him learning about Noah is proof of that. I wasn't being careful or discreet because I really didn't care about anything anymore. I thought Cole would feel too ashamed to ever leave me, that he'd blame himself. Oh, well.

Shit, I shouldn't have told Cole that he bored me as an explanation to my straying. I should have told him I was afraid of committing, that I was scared of how much I loved him or something. Well, I can always tell him that the boredom comment was out of sadness, not my real feelings.

In exchange of signing the divorce papers, I got to keep the house and all of Gabriel's stuff. This could also be used in the future as a bargain point. I really hope Jade is barren, or she's righteous about world population or global warming or something, and she refuses to give Cole a child. If they stay together, a new baby is what Cole will want.