Summary: Just a couple short paragraphs explaining thoughts that may have been going through Jack's mind. They are in no particular order.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Fight Club at all. I wish I did, because I would be the proud author of the book, or director of the amazing movie. However, I'm not that lucky. I did this purely for fun not profit.
Author's Note: Please be gentle…This is my first try at anything Fanficish. I usually write poetry, but I really admire those of you on this site who write so well. I feel quiet foolish leaving comments and reviews on everyone else's stories, when I have never even attempted to write my own.
So…..deep breath, sigh
I am Jack…I am Jack's lonely teardrop. I am the culmination of Jack's life, the late night's, the overwhelming jealousy, the frightened friendship that Jack struggles to maintain.
After watching Marla run from me after telling her harshly that "Tyler not here…" my knees collapsed. I fell to the ground and continued to try to drink my pain away.
Why had Tyler run from me? Was I really so bad? My insecurities bled down my cheeks in teardrops and I let out a roar of utter despair.
I stumbled back to the house as quickly as I could, tripping down the stairs barely keeping my self on my feet by holding onto the decaying rail. Decaying rail...decaying like my life before my very eyes. I waded through the ankle deep ocean, the bottom of my housecoat dragging the waters as if looking for a body, then threw myself onto the rotting mattresses. I flung my arms wide and let my fingertips trace the top of the water setting off ripples to the far corners of the room. The ripple effect…Tyler was the stone in my water. Tyler caused the ripples that now threaten to become the tsunami that will wash my life away. With tears still streaming down my face I stare at the ceiling and wonder how I could have let this, let someone come to mean so much to me that I was willing to give up everything normal and secure in my life. Tyler had become my security, our security. "In Tyler we trust." Right?
I am Jack's utter astonishment.
I hear the man moaning and crying on his knees. The man is completely engulfed with fright. He sees life flashing before his eyes. He sees his end, his death. He doesn't see his new beginning like Tyler does. I can't seem to see anything through my shock. There is a gun to the back of a man's head. How could Tyler do this? How can I let Tyler do this. I argue with him, that this is crazy, but in a sick way Tyler is right. Tyler is always right. Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle's life, and I was part of it.
I am Jack's unending desire
In some strange way I lust for Tyler's knowledge. I crave the little tylerisms. My favorite….. "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
Where does one come up with something as simple yet profound as this? Is this kind of knowledge somewhere inside all of us? Is there some gift which I did not receive, that I would be able to be as articulate. Straight to the point, in a funny sort of way? Tyler Durden, my complete opposite, my other half. Without Tyler I don't feel whole. Without Tyler my life would not be this complicated.
Where does my unending need to be Tyler's friend come from? I am not masochistic. I do not desire pain and complication in my life. All I want is a nice simple life. All I want is sleep. Maybe a beautiful wife. Marla Singer need not apply. The woman is messed up more than I am I need an uncomplicated life. I need my stuff. I need the security of 9-5 days. I need to know that my apartment isn't going to blow up again.
I sigh and shake my head, shoulders slightly bent forward showing my defeat. I need Tyler Durden, but does he need me?
