AN: inspired by Teresa Green's wonderful series, Inuyasha style!



INUYASHA: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated INUYASHA unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Bad-Tempered Hanyou, please pay close attention to the following instructions:

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Basic Information

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Name: Inuyasha (a.k.a. Inu-Yasha, Dog-Turd, Idiot, Moron, Hanyou, Half-breed)

Date of Manufacture: Unknown, sometime during Sengoku Jidai

Place of Manufacture: Japan

Genetic Type: Hanyou (Half Demon)

Height: 167 cm (source absolute anime)

Weight: Heavy

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Your INUYASHA unit will come with the following accessories:

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One (1) robe made from fur of the fire rat (includes self-healing abilities and is virtually indestructible)

Two (2) sets of state-of-the-art claws (tougher than steel)

One (1) rosary bead (un-programmed, so you can think up the word for him)

One (1) set of fuzzy dog ears (so he and you can match)

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Please note that the sword TETSUSAIGA™ is not included with your INUYASHA unit. To obtain it, first, fight with a SESSHOUMARU unit until he draws out a BLACK PEARL™. Then follow the SESSHOUMARU to INU NO TAISHO's grave and fight for the sword. Don't forget to bring a KAGOME unit along.

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Programming:

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The INUYASHA unit has one hell of a temper, and does not obey just anybody. But he is rather versatile and can perform a range of different functions. If you have trouble to get him to obey you, use the rosary beads, bribe him with ramen, or hold KAGOME hostage, whichever is most convenient for you.

BODYGUARD: The INUYASHA is quite strong and has good combat skills. He is also stubborn and will continue fighting until the job is done. Especially with the added advantage of the TETSUSAIGA™, you will be in safe hands!

DEMOLITION SPECIALIST: Need to destroy something? Then the INUYASHA unit is perfect for you! Whether using the TETSUSAIGA™ or his claws, he will get the job done fast. Note: cleanup function is not included, you will have to take care of that yourself.

MOVER: Being a Hanyou, he is stronger than most humans. So if you or someone you know is planning to move, he is perfect for the job. Or better yet, start your own Hanyou Moving Company and watch as the cash rolls in!

BOYFRIEND: Even though the INUYASHA unit is not the nicest of units, in his rare moments of caring, he actually can make a pretty reliable boyfriend. If you master this program, he will even protect you with his life. CAUTION: remove all KIKYOU and KAGOME units when running this program.

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Your INUYASHA has five (5) different settings:

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Angry/Annoyed (Default Setting)

Angsty (Locked)

Gentle/Sweet (Level Two Lock)

Human

Demon (Level Three Lock)

Note that Angsty mode is triggered whenever unit thinks about the past. The Gentle/Sweet mode is only unlocked when alone with a KAGOME unit. Human mode is activated once every month on the new moon. Demon mode is triggered when his life energy is low (WARNING, unit extremely dangerous in this mode! We're not responsible for damages/injuries).

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Relations with other units:

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Your INUYASHA unit isn't the most friendly around. He doesn't trust easily, and comes across as rather violent. He may try to kill other units at first, but continuous interactions will form bonds between the more compatible units (Yes, he's just a big softy underneath, and is quite the loyal puppy to his friends, and that will include you if you treat him right).

KAGOME HIGURASHI: Your INUYASHA may try to kill this unit upon first meeting. But believe it or not, this unit is actually one of the most compatible with the INUYASHA. It's probably the only unit that your INUYASHA will allow to get close to him. If this unit acts violently towards your INUYASHA, it's probably because he's being a jerk. Step away from both units when this happens, as both units can potentially be violent and dangerous.

KIKYOU: This was the most compatible unit with the INUYASHA before the KAGOME HIGURASHI was developed. Even though the INUYASHA still sort of likes this unit, things between them have gone a bit sour due to an incident during development. Please supervise all interactions, because the KIKYOU unit will occasionally try to kill your INUYASHA or drag him to Hell.

NARAKU: This is your INUYASHA's nemesis. WARNING: keep your INUYASHA away from this unit as much as possible! However, when a confrontation is inevitable, we suggest you run for it, because things can get ugly (we don't want any lawsuits, thank you). The INUYASHA is well-equipped (especially if you've got the TETSUSAIGA™), and can handle this unit just fine. But please send him some backup!

SESSHOUMARU: Believe it or not, this unit is your INUYASHA's older brother. However, please try to refrain from having family reunions because you think it's 'cute', because they don't get along too well (taking sibling rivalry to a whole new level). This unit likes to taunt and show off his more advanced features (due to being a full demon) to your INUYASHA, which angers him greatly. Continuous interactions may result in violence.

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Other unit interactions:

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MIROKU: This unit, even though it will try to kill your INUYASHA unit at first, is another compatible unit. He will act as backup for INUYASHA when he confronts enemies. And he actually gives good advice once in a while.

SANGO: This unit will try to kill your INUYASHA at first. But not to worry, subsequent encounters will prove that this unit is pretty compatible with the INUYASHA. She will act as support when the INUYASHA confronts his enemies.

SHIPPO: This unit likes to call your INUYASHA names, and poke fun at him. Please do not let this unit see the INUYASHA unit do anything stupid, because this unit will make calls, which can irritate the INUYASHA even further, causing some unnecessary violence.

KOUGA: This unit and your INUYASHA unit likes to butt heads, throwing insults whenever possible. They are both too stubborn and proud (not to mention rivals in love), thus creating a personality conflict. But not to worry, this unit will not do your INUYASHA any real harm, or vice versa. Their barks are worse than their bites.

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Cleaning:

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Even though your INUYASHA unit is quite old, he has a mind and maturity of a teenager, and therefore is very sensitive to the subject of decency. He is capable of cleaning himself. However, if you insist on cleaning him yourself, we suggest knocking him out first. Please remember the following: do not machine-wash unit; towel-dry only, do not tumble dry. Dog shampoo may be used.

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Energy:

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Your INUYASHA unit needs a lot of energy. But lucky for you, he's not too picky. He'll eat most edible things (and even some non-edible things). However, to keep him content, feed him ramen (and other junk food) frequently, and he'll love and obey you.

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Frequently Asked Questions:

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Q: I hate KIKYOU/KAGOME! I want INUYASHA to be with KAGOME/KIKYOU!

A: INUYASHA loves both units, and he's still not ready to choose. Asking him to choose will put him in a foul mood, and he will snap at you. Continue to bug him about it, and he may end up hating you more than you can ever hate KIKYOU/KAGOME. We're not responsible for any injuries he may inflict, so deal with it!

Q: When will INUYASHA be a full demon?

A: When the SHIKON JEWEL™ is completed, the INUYASHA unit may become this full demon. However, due to interactions with his friends, chances are, he will like to stay a half demon. DO NOT force him into becoming a full demon! His CPU cannot handle this programming without the SHIKON JEWEL™. He will become destructive and go berserk, and may kill you in the process (which is what the waiver form you've filled out during purchase is for).

Q: Hey! Why does my INUYASHA unit have black hair instead of silver? And what happened to his dog ears?

A: Don't worry, that's his appearance when he switches to his Human mode. Because he is Half Demon, every month at the new moon, he has to switch to the Human program. It's like his version of PMS. Do not bother him at this time, as he feels vulnerable and agitated. It is only temporary and lasts for the night only.

Q: How come my INUYASHA doesn't play fetch with me? I thought all dogs loved fetch.

A: The INUYASHA unit is half-human, half-demon, and is very independent. He is not a pet dog! He does not play fetch, he does not roll over, and no, he does NOT need to go to the vet's (especially to get neutered). Treating him as a dog will invoke his anger and he may turn on you.

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Troubleshooting:

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Problem: Your INUYASHA has broken his sword, TETSUSAIGA™, and he's angry/irritated, and would not stop complaining.

Solution: Well, the INUYASHA unit is angry/irritated by default. But to fix his sword, find the nearest TOUTOUSAI unit (a MYOUGA unit can help point the way).

Problem: Your INUYASHA's eyes are creepily red, his fangs have grown, and he refuses to listen to you, destroying everything that comes into his path. You're worried that he's broken.

Solution: No, he's not broken. He just entered his Demon mode somehow. Get him out of it quick, before it becomes permanent. Use the rosary beads repeatedly, and get a KAGOME unit to tame him!

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With proper care and maintenance, your INUYASHA unit will lead a long and happy life. But don't worry, as he is half-demon, his power of survival is extraordinary. No matter how many times his stomach is gouged out and his innards eaten, he will live.

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