DILAN'S P.O.V.
Dilan released a breath of relief after Levi left. He made her uncomfortable. He was the only person who had the strength to overpower her. While she didn't care if she died, he was still a man and she didn't trust him. Men were vile. She knew that from experience.
Dilan finished her apple and trudged back to her room. She didn't require any more to fill her stomach and while she wanted to load her plate, she didn't like the idea of throwing back up what she ate. Even the exotic tastes of a real apple, made her stomach curdle a little bit, even if it was delicious. Her stomach wasn't used to it. she wondered when she should try to escape. She needed to rest and allow her injuries to heal but she needed a plan too. Surely there would be guards posted at the entrance so she needed a reason to leave this place without suspicion. Easier said then done. What's more, the expedition was soon, and she didn't want to end up on one of those. The likelihood would be that she would die just like he did. Die a pointless death. Still, Levi seemed to be keeping an eye on her. She would leave as soon as the opportunity presented itself but she needed to watch out for that one. He was dangerous and she resented him for it.
She got back to her room and fell onto her soft bed, closing her eyes. She had almost killed herself again. Whoopsie. She normally managed to distract herself when those dark spells came over her, pushing her and pushing her to do it. But it was just unfortunate that this time, Levi had appeared. He had even brought her death up. It was too hard to resist. Those few moments before he grabbed her were pure bliss and she couldn't deny it was tempting do try again after he was gone. And yet, she wanted to say goodbye to Mama P and Joel before her eventual demise. They had done so much for her. It was only fair.
Dilan sighed and stood up again. The door had no lock and that didn't sit well with her. Still it's not like she could do much about it. Needing some sort of weapon, she kicked the side of the bunkbed until a large spiky chip of wood broke off. She grabbed it, smiling at the pointy end before sitting back down on her bed. Suddenly the soft comfort seemed to bring tears to her eyes which never happened. She scowled at it and grabbed the blanket before curling up on the hard floor, her hand wrapped round the piece of wood, drifting into a shallow sleep.
A loud knock on the door made Dilan's eyes snap open as she struggled to remember where she was. Her pulse sped up as she took in the room before she remembered everything and heaved a huge sigh of relief. Another knock on the door sounded and she stood up, alert. She moved to the door slowly, holding the piece of wood behind her back and opened the door to reveal Johnson. She relaxed immediately.
"Hey." She smiled. Johnson looked wary. Probably after her stunt from last night.
"I thought I'd remind you about training. You look ready though." He commented observing her fully dressed appearance. She looked down at herself and chuckled.
"Actually, I have nothing else to wear so I slept like this. Thanks for reminding me, I probably would have been late." She admitted. Johnson nodded, clearly taking extra care not to show any emotion around her. She would understand that, even if it made her feel slightly shit.
"Come on then. You ready?" He asked. Dilan nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. As they walked in silence Dilan raked her fingers through her long raven locks and tied her hair up in a high ponytail, twisting a piece of fringe around her finger. Dilan had never thought much about her appearance. She only really cared about her hair and made sure to trim it regularly to keep her fringe out of her eyes and the ends of the hair even at her waist. She knew she wasn't ugly. She had deep olive skin and a sharp jawline, high cheekbones and filled in eyebrows. She had a small lean build, but she knew she was pure muscle. It didn't matter if she didn't own any of those vanity muscles that show from military training. She had power where it counted. The annoying part of growing up was that her body changed. She grew breasts and her hips widened. She became more noticeable to men which she didn't want. So, she worked harder on becoming stronger. Now men didn't scare her, and she used them to her advantage. Well... all except Levi. He was the anomaly. And that's why she didn't like him.
"Do you think I was wrong yesterday?" Dilan asked Johnson out of nowhere, looking up at him. He turned to her.
"What?" He asked.
"Kicking that guys ass, was I wrong to do it?" She asked, seriously, wanting his opinion. Johnson hesitated. "Don't sugar coat it, kid. Give it to me straight, I'm not the type to get pissed from constructive criticism." She reassured and Johnson nodded.
"It was pretty reckless. You gave everyone a real reason to call you a savage. It will take a lot longer to earn their trusts now." He replied honestly as they got out into the open air. Dilan sighed. Perhaps he was right.
"Makes sense. Levi told me next time I should just wait for help." She mused. Johnson nodded in agreement at that.
"Even if they are reluctant the squad has your back." Johnson said seriously. Dilan cracked a smile. While she didn't exactly believe him, it was a nice sentiment.
"Alright. I'll try harder." She said, determined. Johnson gave her a look of approval, lowering his guard a little.
The rest of the journey was made in a more comfortable silence until they joined the others who were already waiting in the combat area of the training grounds. Mike was in the ring and the others were watching from the outside.
"Your late." Levi commented, crossing his arms and glaring at her. Dilan glared right back before noticing Johnson's nervous face and dropping her face back to neutral. She did just say she'd try.
"Sorry sir. My fault though, not Johnson. He was only late because he made sure I was up." Dilan explained with a shrug. Johnson looked both confused and relieved. Levi raised an unamused eyebrow.
"Is that right?" He turned to Johnson. He nodded slowly and reluctantly. "Well then, you can take his punishment. Stable duty after training. I want it spotless." He ordered. Dilan tried hard to hide her excitement at the thought of spending time with horses but apparently it got through as they all gave her a weird look. Not her fault. She hadn't seen horses before.
"Understood sir." She rubbed the smile off her face, although she was pretty sure her happiness still showed in her voice.
"Let's move on." Mike interrupted and they all turned to him. "Today we're working on coordination. How you position yourself during a fight. How you use your awareness to defeat the opponent rather than brute strength." He explained and Dilan notice some of the others spare her disgusted glances. Well that was pretty rude. "I am well aware that combat training will not help when your defeating titans but learning that same awareness, moving your body efficiently will. Pair up and let's get to it." He ordered, hopping out of the ring. Dilan blinked as everyone except Levi took overly large steps away from her.
"For gods sake." The raven muttered under his breath. Dilan ignored him and turned to Mike.
"Sir, maybe I shouldn't take part. I don't see the point anyway." She said. Mike raised an eyebrow.
"And why's that cadet?" He asked.
"Because I already know how to fight. Plus, I don't want to hurt anyone accidently." She shrugged. Tabitha growled.
"Modest one, you are." She spat. Dilan sighed. She was getting nowhere with these people. What was the point of even trying?
"Fine. Why don't you just tell me what to do because those four are piss pants scared of me and that grump doesn't want to partner with me either." Dilan said to Mike quietly so the others wouldn't hear. Mike cracked a small smirk, like he enjoyed her misery. Wouldn't be surprised.
"Levi will partner with you, won't you Levi?" Mike asked. Levi glared at him. "No." He said blankly. Dilan gave Mike a 'see' look. He ignored her.
"Yes, you will. Okay then. Let's begin, you better do your best because let's all remember that partners switch round." He smirked and everyone gulped, looking at Dilan. She sighed. Great.
Brand and Johnson took their place in the ring first. Dilan was about to watch before her eyes widened, and she turned her back. She felt a flick in the head from Levi and glared at him.
"Why aren't you watching?" He asked as Dilan heard them start to fight.
"Because. If I watch, I'll get their fight patterns. Got to give them some sort of advantage, sir." She said truthfully. Levi huffed, grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her round forcefully.
"Listen to your orders and watch the damn fight." He hissed. Dilan glared and shrugged his arms off her. Why did people keep touching her? She really fucking hated it. A confused flash in Levi's eyes told her he caught the distraught look on her face before she wiped it off and turned neutral again.
"Yes, sir." She said dryly. What she wouldn't give to be running over the buildings of the underground right now. Surface life was not all it was cracked up to be. Dilan turned her attention to the fight and just as she feared, caught both Brand and Johnson's fighting style easily. Brand was better. He pulled his punches taking a few hits until he found an opening and walloped Johnson right in the face. He was smart, that told her. While Johnson just attempted to round on him and deal a critical hit. Lazy fighting if she was honest.
Toby and Tabitha went next. That fight didn't last long, and Tabitha was clearly pulling her punches even then. Toby was not a fighter. It made Dilan wonder how he was in this squad. She could snap him in half in 5 seconds. Tabitha gave him a few chances and gave him some pointers while they were fighting but eventually had to put the small boy out of his misery and swept the feet from under him. A pretty nice way to end the match really. The boy gave her plenty of openings to his face. Tabitha's style of fighting was much more flued, which she respected as she used the flued technique herself. Although this girl wasn't using it to her full extent. That was the difference between them.
Then. It was Dilan and Levi's turn. She glanced at him, having a feeling that this was not going to go down well.
"Avoid her shoulder Levi. Hanji told me she had stitches." Mike informed Levi nodded, and Dilan rolled her eyes.
"He should use the advantage." She mumbled under her breath but the glare from Levi told her he heard anyway. Mike told them to get in their stances and Levi did. Dilan remained standing normal, but she did scrape her foot forward. Everyone looked at her curiously but didn't comment.
"Go." Mike ordered and Levi ran at her.
Expecting this, as they had fought before and Levi didn't seem like the type to be on the defensive Dilan had already prepared for the round house kick to the face. She leant backwards, seeing the foot brush past her head and turned to avoid the punch to the side. He was so predictable. Not that he wasn't good either. She got around the other side of him kicked him in the back with her foot. The others gasped muttering something she wasn't listening to. Levi stumbled forward a bit but was quick to turn and grab the foot before she could retract it and tried to get her on the ground. Dilan used the strength he had and let go of herself completely to slip towards the ground, under his legs, punching him in the knee as she went passed to get him to drop her leg. She stood up behind him and kicked him in the back again. They both knew she wasn't going full out and it was clearly pissing him off. She could have got him to the ground twice now.
"You don't try, right now-" Levi growled, turning back round but Dilan cut him off.
"Respectfully sir. I don't think your trying either. You try, I will." She said with a shrug. He was holding back. They both knew it. Levi looked at Mike and he nodded. Levi looked back at her with those steel grey eyes, and it was clear a switch had been flipped. So, she flipped hers as well and they both ran at each other at the same time. Levi punched her straight in the shoulder and she winced at the disorienting pain, barely managing to avoid the leg to her stomach as she twisted on her foot and kicked him in the side. He grabbed her arm and tried to flip her over him, but Dilan punched him in the face with her other arm. He didn't let go through and Dilan felt the momentum. She knew once he got her on the ground it was game over. So, she jumped on him, using one of her legs to hook around his waist, the other to knock out his left knee and he fell to a kneeling position. She grimaced as Levi headbutted her and she fell to the ground, a tight pain erupting on her shoulder had her realising he was pinning her down. Panicking slightly as an agonising flash back erupted in her head, she froze in fear. She hadn't been this vulnerable in a long time. Luckily Levi seemed to notice.
"Done?" He asked. Dilan nodded quickly and he let go of her, taking a step back and giving her some space. Dilan let out a shaky breath, trying to compose herself.
"Very nice. You will both have to fight again once Dilan has healed though. I'd like to see who would win." Mike smiled in approval and the others held impressed looks, clearly happy Levi won and oblivious to her mental struggles right now. Levi seemed to be the only one aware she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. "Dilan and Tabitha will go next." he announced but Dilan could barely hear him. She was focusing on not hyperventilating.
"Oi, brat. Get up." Levi said, his harsh voice slightly softer than usual or maybe that was just because she felt like she was underwater. Still, she managed to compose herself a bit as Tabitha entered the ring and held on to the side for support. She blinked as Mike told them to go and Tabitha advanced towards her. Dilan was barely able to push off the side in time to dodge the first attack. She was not in a good place right now. It felt like someone was trying to get her on the ground. She wanted to listen to them.
"You don't belong here." Tabitha hissed under her breath, trying to punch her again. Dilan dodged, barely. "Scum like you don't belong anywhere." She continued and Dilan felt a wave of depression knock her to the floor, along with Tabitha's round house kick that she didn't bother to block. It felt nice on the floor. Sure, Tabitha was kicking the shit out of her but that was alright. She barely felt the pain.
"Finish it." She said in a hoarse voice as Tabitha ignored Mike's orders to back off and continued to kick her. Dilan could recognise her face. She was scared and she wanted to prove herself. The girl looked like she was about to incline to Dilan's requested and stood on her neck, ignoring everyone yells for her to stop before Levi got in the ring and pulled her off. Dilan coughed and gasped for breath. "Damn. So close." She muttered to herself in annoyance.
"The fuck were you doing?!" Levi hissed, shoving Tabitha to the side.
"PROTECTING THE SQUAD! She's going to get us all killed!" Tabitha yelled. Dilan barely heard her. Mike started to reprimand her as Levi walked over and hoisted Dilan onto her feet. She flinched in surprise and pushed away from him, almost falling back over.
"Don't touch me." She croaked, sounded more pathetic than she liked. Levi looked half irritated; half concerned.
"I just saved your pathetic life. Be more grateful, brat." He decided to choose irritation and crossed his arms. Dilan scoffed, shaking her head. Of course, he wouldn't understand. No one did. So, she opted not to reply, staring at her feet.
"Dilan get checked out in the infirmary." Mike ordered, snapping her out of her trance like state. She nodded and stumbled out of the ring, stopping to glance at Johnson.
"Squad has my back, right?" She said weakly and Johnson looked hurt, but she couldn't care less as she walked away. Levi was right, her life was pathetic. Tabitha should have snapped her neck, not stand on it.
