DILAN'S P.O.V.

"Dilan! Dilan it's not funny where are you!?" Her brother shouted in a panic. She was 7 years old now, her brother being fourteen, and it was the first time she was allowed out with the purpose of being able to help provide for the family. Dilan heard his worried calls but ignored him. She was so close to getting this man's wallet. She stood on her tip toes to reach for it and- shit.

He turned around and caught her red handed.

"WHY YOU LITTLE SHIT!" He yelled and raised his hand to strike her. Dilan froze in fear before she was pushed behind her brother and he took the blow for her, sending him to the ground. Dilan gasped, tears collecting in her eyes.

"Don't hurt him!" She yelled.

"Dil, get back." Her brother winced as he got up, stumbling a bit. He had hit his head pretty hard. He held her back and lowered his head. "I apologise, sir." He said, submissively. The man scoffed and spat on their feet before walking away. Dilan grit her teeth in annoyance wanting to skin that man for hurting her brother. What gave him the right to do that? It was her fault. Dilan looked up as her older sibling turned around to face her, gripping her shoulders tightly, fear and anger in his eyes. "What did I tell you, Dil? Don't leave my side! Never leave my side out here!" He scolded harshly. Dilan's lip quivered and she looked at the floor in shame. She never liked it when her brother was mad at her.

"I'm sorry. I-" Dilan tried but cut herself off to muffle a sob. She heard a sigh before her brother crouched down and pulled her into a hug.

"I know. You were just trying to help. I get it. You just have to be more careful. People are dangerous and I can't lose you." Her brother whispered shakily. Dilan stroked his hair like he always does to her when she's upset.

"You won't. Promise. I'm sorry, brother." She comforted. Her brother took a breath and hesitated before pulling back and composing himself.

"Good. Now, remember I'm supposed to be teaching you how to do this. It's an art." He smiled. Dilan blinked innocently and held up the fat man's wallet.

"Like this?" She questioned. Her brother stared at her in shock before laughing.

"You little fox." He grinned and tickled her mercilessly. Dilan shrieked and giggled, trying to push him away but also not trying at all. Her brother pocketed the wallet and smiled proudly, lifting her up onto his shoulders. Dilan grinned in satisfaction and had fun petting his hair. "Let's go get us some food with your hard work then, yeah?" He asked. Dilan smiled happily; glad she was finally contributing to the family.

"Yeah!"

Dilan groaned as she faded back into consciousness. Everything hurt. Was she even still alive? She wasn't completely sure. Dilan blinked repeatedly, willing her vision to hurry the fuck up and stop it with the blurring. Thankfully it did and Dilan was met with a white ceiling. Turning her orange gaze to the left and right she realised she was in the infirmary. Guess it didn't kill her then. But she had yet to find out the damage. If she was paralysed, she knew she would prefer death. But that wouldn't be too hard. She would just have to request to see Levi, grab the knife he keeps on his belt and slit her throat. She wasn't worried.

Dilan groaned quietly in excruciating pain as she managed to clench her right fist open and closed. It ached like a son of a bitch but there were no broken bones. She did the same with her other hand and wiggled her feet around. Pain was beginning to radiate but it was a good sign she could still feel her feet. Dilan managed to lift an arm, checking it for breakages and finding nothing. She did the same with her other arm and winced immediately at the shooting pain. It wasn't broken but there was definitely something wrong with that, so she left it where it was and took the arm that wasn't broken, biting her lip while she arched her back to stop from crying out loud, she felt along her spine. Tender as fuck but it wasn't broken. She wasn't paralysed. Dilan circled her ankles and bent her knee joints before feeling her ribs. Know those killed. Definitely a few broken ribs there.

Once she was done with the personal examination, she sighed in relief deciding to be whacked by a titan arm could have been worse. She had saved Hanji so that's all that mattered. She had also come to a new realisation during that expedition. Her squad was important to her and she wanted to protect them. Killing Erwin smith and escaping came second. They would come first. It felt weird to care about people again, especially after only a few days here. She still hated the survey corps as a whole, but she guessed the people weren't that bad.

Taking a breath to prepare herself Dilan grit her teeth while she forced herself into a sitting position, cursing out every swear word in existence until she was sitting with her back against the wall and breathed a deep sigh of relief, wiping the sweat off of her forehead. Well that wasn't that hard. She snapped her head round as the door opened and Levi walked in. They caught eyes and he stopped moving, looking mildly surprised but his face stayed bored as usual.

"You're up then." He observed.

"Seems like it." She replied. Levi pursed his lips slightly and crossed his arms.

"Feeling good enough for me to yell at you without passing out?" He asked in that same bored, disinterested tone. Dilan blinked.

"And why would you need to yell at me?" She questioned, curious. Levi gave her an annoyed look, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You were a complete fucking moron. You disobeyed orders, you blatantly disregarded your own life, you were disrespectful, stubborn and reckless and-" Levi started, getting more and more annoyed as he continued. Dilan groaned, rubbing her face.

"I change my mind; I don't feel well enough." She interrupted and Levi looked insanely close to finishing the job the titan started.

"Listen here, you little shit. You may think your little stunt back there painted you a hero and you may have the squad fooled but I am not buying into your shit. I know what you are and I'm not going to let you forget it. I'm not the only one you pissed off either. Mike is completely livid, and I'll be surprised if you end up staying on his squad." Levi hissed. Dilan blinked at him.

"You hate me." She stated. Levi gave her an exasperated look of pure irritation.

"Do you have no brains whatsoever? Of course, I fucking hate you!" He growled. Dilan sighed; he was giving her a headache.

"I wasn't asking, I was stating a fact. Hanji is a close friend of yours, is she not?" Dilan continued and Levi looked a little taken a back.

"I wouldn't say close-"

"Regardless, you like her more than me. As do most people in this regiment. Hanji is a squad leader, an important scientist and section commander. She has more friends and more people that would actually miss her if she died. I thought about this all before I pushed her out of the way. I also analysed the angle. The way Hanji was faced and angled, the titan would have hit her into the floor headfirst. Her skull would have been smash in causing a haemorrhage and a quick death. I was hit sideways which gave me a better chance of survival. So, you may think I was being stubborn and reckless, but I was just summing up the pros and cons of my life for Hanji's. Your right, I'm a little shit that no one cares about. I'm nothing. Her life is worth 10 of mine. So, I did what I did, and I have no regrets." Dilan stated logically, turning her head to observe Levi's face. He seemed both shocked and confused, perhaps a little guilty. There wasn't time for him to reply though as Hanji entered the infirmary.

"Levi you in here?!" She yelled as she went in the lab. Levi hesitated before breaking his eye contact with Dilan.

"Yeah. She's-" Levi tried but Hanji cut him off.

"I brought some flowers for little Dil. I hope she wakes up soon. I didn't know what ones she liked and then I remembered she lived in the underground and probably didn't have a preference and then I felt sad that she never grew up with flowers so I ended up getting her one of every flower so she could see them all when she woke up. The colours don't match at all and the florist called me insane which I thought was a bit rude but now I look at this, he might be right. I should have left the floral arrangement to him." She snorted as she walked into the room carrying a large vase of many different shapes and sizes and colours of flowers. It was an ugly thing but beautiful in sentiment.

Levi looked particularly annoyed with her rambling but Dilan simply chuckled. Hanji froze in surprise, almost dropping the vase before looking around it to see that Dilan was awake and her eyes widened in delight, filling with tears as she shoved the vase into Levi's arms, ignoring his colourful protests and bolting over to Dilan's bed, smothering her in a hug. Dilan tensed a bit at the sobbing woman in her arms but relaxed and smiled, hugging her back and ignoring the pain. It felt nice to be hugged again, although she did miss Mama P.

"DILAN I'M SO SORRY!" She wailed, tears streaming down her face. Levi rolled his eyes and muttered something about her being ridiculous under his breath. Dilan blinked. What was she sorry about?

"Why?" She asked, tilting her head. Hanji sniffed and pulled back to look at her with shame and regret.

"I-if I had been p-paying more attention, I-I-I wouldn't have- wouldn't have- you wouldn't off needed t-to-" She stuttered out before busting out into tears again. "I'M SORRY DILAN! YOU MUST HATE ME!" She choked out in between sobs. Dilan was slightly shocked. She hadn't expected this.

"Hanji, I don't hate you." She reassured. Hanji sobbed a bit but managed to calm down and wipe at her eyes.

"Y-you don't?" She asked, blinking like an innocent child. Dilan smiled and shook her head.

"We're friends, right? Friends help each other out. You don't have to be sorry." She comforted and watched as the biggest, happiest smile spread across Hanji's face before she squealed in delight and hugged her again.

"YOU HEAR THAT LEVI?! WE'RE FRIENDS!" Hanji screamed in happiness, laughing manically. Dilan chuckled and rolled her eyes hugging the crazy scientist back. She was pleased with her decision to save the brunet, even if others thought it was a bad idea. She could live with what happened next, whether she was thrown out of the squad, or the corps entirely.

"I wouldn't be too happy about that if I were you." Levi grumbled, crossing his arms after he set the ridiculously massive vase of flowers down on the bedside table. Dilan smiled at them. They were so Hanji.

"Hush now Levi, we were having a moment." Hanji scolded, bonking Levi on the head which got her a kick in the leg and a fierce glare. Dilan smiled in amusement as Hanji stuck her tongue out at him before plopping herself down in the armchair and taking Dilan's hand. "Okay my sweet little dil. You have-"

"A sprained shoulder and 4 broken ribs, right?" She asked. Hanji frowned in confusion.

"How did you know that? You tell her already?" Hanji asked Levi. He shook his head.

"I've had enough injuries in the underground to diagnose myself." She explained. Hanji gave her a sad smile of understanding.

"I see. Well you were very lucky. Thank you for saving me, it was very brave of you." Hanji smiled genuinely and Dilan smiled back.

"Is everyone else okay?" Dilan asked, remembering the abnormal. Hanji's face darkened in remorse and Dilan remembered that a few of her squad mates died trying to deal with it. She gave an apologetic look and squeezed the hand for support. "I'm sorry about your squad." She said sincerely. Those deaths were pointless, and she hadn't liked watching them. Hanji took a breath and smiled her thanks.

"They were good soldiers. We'll carry their memory. Besides Moblit and a few of the others made it thanks to Mike squad." She explained. Dilan nodded in understanding.

"How long was I out?" She asked.

"A week. All the while the regiment is trying to decide what to do with your suicidal self." Levi scoffed. Dilan narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not suicidal." She snapped back. Hanji sighed.

"Dilan, I needed help from another doctor to reset your ribs. When we were checking the rest of your body for injuries, he saw the scars and reported them to Erwin." Hanji explained calmly. Dilan gulped.

"Not suicidal, my ass." Levi mumbled and Hanji glared at him to be more sensitive.

"I'm not suicidal! I'm not Hanji, I just-" She tried to explain but cut herself off as the air became thicker and harder to breath. "Shit." She hissed, burying her face in her hands as her pulse sped up and she couldn't get the air in.

"Oi, what's wrong with her." Levi's distance voice asked.

"Dila... Dilan! What's wr...ong" Hanji's distorted voice sounded but Dilan couldn't really hear. She was too busy trying not to pass out. Fuck. Her panic attacks always came during the worse times. Great, here comes the shaking and the hyperventilating.

"Is this real or is she bullshitting?" Levi asked, his voice somewhere far away.

"ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT, LEVI! YOU CAN'T BULLSHIT A PANIC ATTACK!" Hanji yelled at him. Dilan stifled a sob as she brought her legs up to her chest, uncaring of the pain and hid her face, willing it to be over. Ugh, she felt like she was downing.

"Well I was just asking!" Levi yelled back. "Oi brat, snap out of it." He ordered, kicking the side of her bed. Dilan flinched at the sudden action as memories flashed through her head.

"Get the hell out, you're not helping at all!" Hanji hissed. Levi didn't listen to her, grabbing Hanji by the scuff of her collar, throwing her outside the door and locking it, ignoring her banging. Levi walked back over to Dilan and she would have laughed if she was able to. He must have decided this was the best time to end her, when she was at her weakest.

Which is why it surprised her when he simply sat down in the armchair and leant forward.

"It's a memory, right? A memory that fucks you up. The same memory that makes you freak out every now and then, that makes you cut yourself." He started; his voice distant but managing to get through. Dilan choked out a sob of frustration as the air wouldn't enter her lungs.

"I-Isn't it... always a m-memory." She forced her breathy reply. Levi nodded, sighing as he raked a hand through his hair.

"I have one too, as do most. It used to fuck me up like this... still does sometimes." He admitted. Dilan was too exhausted to be shocked at his openness. "But I realised something one day. The memory is shitty by itself. I don't need to give it power over me. So, here's my advice. Stop giving it power and calm the fuck down." He said firmly but not unkindly. Dilan took a moment to process his words before deciding that she agreed with them. She took a deep shaky breath in and breathed out again slowly, repeating the process over and over while she came out of her panic attack and stopped shaking. She closed her eyes and leant her head back on the wall, calming down and getting over the pain. That little experience had not been fun for her aching ribs.

"Why..." She said with a breath, her voice cracked and tired as she opened her orange eyes to narrow slits and glanced at the raven by her bedside. "Why would you help me like that?" She asked, genuinely confused. Levi looked at her for a moment before glancing back at the brunet who was still banging on the door.

"You saved my friend. Let's call it even." He said simply, standing up and turning to leave.

"Thanks." She added quietly. Levi gave her a glance and nodded in reply before leaving the room causing Hanji to fly in and hurriedly ask her if she was okay. Dilan nodded in reassurance as she watched the man walk away. She couldn't seem to figure him out.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

It was a week later, and Levi was waiting in one of the corps meeting rooms. Erwin was present, as well as Mike and Hanji. They were sitting at the table in silence while Levi was standing up against the wall, crossing his arms. Unsurprisingly they were waiting for the brat.

She had spent the week in the infirmary recovering from her injuries. The squad ended up visiting her most days when they had the spare time and it still irked Levi seeing how chummy they were together. Did he want that deep down? Or did he just miss having that with his friends? Not that he had ever been a particularly chummy person in the first place.

He had visited Dilan once since her panic attack to make sure she was still alive and Hanji hadn't killed her with all her rambling. He was annoyed to find her passed out on the floor taking a nap and made an extra big deal to tell her how stupid she was and if she wanted to heal, she needed to stop sleeping on the fucking floor like a dog. Dilan had glared at him for saying that but didn't retort and got back into bed. Levi had revelled in the small victory.

He still hated the brat. Her panic attack hadn't changed that, and he was certain she was still up to something, but the experience had sobered him slightly. It made her seem more human, more breakable and he made sure not to bring up her suicidal tendencies again, not wanting to enlist another bad reaction. It's not like he cared. No, he didn't care about the brat at all. He was just being a decent human for once.

Dilan was starting to get to him with all of her good Samaritan acts. First the thing with the orphanage, then she kept his past a secret, then she went out of her way to hide his violent mistake, then she put her life in harm's way for Tabitha, a girl who had openly tried to snap her neck and then she risks her life for Hanji? Levi couldn't get his head around it. Even a normal person wouldn't be so selfless. But maybe that was the point. Maybe psychopaths were different, maybe this was all a part of her plan to gain trust. He still needed to figure out what she was doing here, what her purpose was. She had one and he vowed to expose it. Still, that all depended on whether she was going to end up staying in the corps at all.

A knock on the door brought Levi out of his musings and he turned his head in time to see the brat step inside after Erwin told her to. She gave a half assed salute, Levi imagined was due to a combination of a lack of respect and her sore ribs.

"Dilan. Please take a seat." Erwin instructed. Dilan did so, relaxing slightly after receiving a reassuring smile from Hanji. Mike was still glaring daggers at her though. The pair hadn't seen each other since the expedition. "Do you know why you're here?" Erwin asked. Dilan bit at her lip.

"Because you think I'm suicidal?" She guessed. Levi rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Mike. Erwin chuckled lightly.

"In part, I suppose. We're here to discuss the expedition as well as a few other things." Erwin explained. Dilan glanced in Levi's direction.

"Other things, huh?" She asked Erwin, keeping her eyes on Levi. Levi looked away, gritting his teeth. The brat knew, already didn't she?

"Indeed. We've come to the realisation that you may not be completely stable. And while a lot of soldiers here have various issues ranging from minor anxiety to depression, having a suicidal soldier on the field would not be a good idea." He explained. Dilan's eyes widened a fraction.

"Would you send me back down to the underground?" She asked, hope evident in her voice. Hanji smiled sadly.

"We would be forced to send you to an institution where you could get proper help." Hanji answered calmly. Dilan frowned and looked at her hands.

"That doesn't sound like fun." She mumbled. Erwin smiled.

"I agree so hopefully it doesn't come to that and there are perfectly reasonable explanations. First let's talk about the expedition. A report from Mike tells me you were disobedient and carelessly risked your own life for Tabitha's. Care to explain?" Erwin started and Levi saw Dilan's head switch on. She obviously didn't want to end up in a mental home, so she was going to have to debate like her life was on the line.

"What I did wasn't careless. Perhaps it was disobedient but not careless. Nothing I do is careless. Watching the situation, I saw that Levi was not going to cut the nape in time before Tabitha was bitten in half by the titan. I decided that if I took her place in the mouth, the titan would likely close its jaw to prevent me getting out, rendering Tabitha safe for the time being. I took a gamble on the fact that I would be able to cut the nape from the outside, I'll admit, but it was either that or watch a comrade's life end. I felt I had the skills to save her, so I did just that. There wasn't time to stand around and take orders. I did what I felt necessary." Dilan said seriously, avoiding Mike who was glaring daggers. Levi was relatively impressed, not that he showed it. The girl really was quick. But he knew that from their first fight in the underground. Erwin seemed pleased with the explanation, as did Hanji who was scribbling something on her notebook.

"Now, tell us about the abnormal. Both Levi and Mike gave you orders to wait for your squad. Why didn't you?" Erwin asked.

"Again sir. Modesty aside, I possess skills that normal soldiers do not. I felt it wrong to wait around while others were dying pointlessly. I wanted to neutralise the threat as soon as possible." She replied firmly and Levi fought another eyeroll. Erwin raised an eyebrow.

"And putting your life so carelessly in danger? Wouldn't you call that an act of suicide?" Erwin prompted. Hanji looked regretful but Dilan stared at the blonde, unrelenting.

"I would call that an act of selflessness. Sacrificing myself for a comrade. I'm sure it's not unheard of around the corps." She challenged and Erwin smirked.

"Impressive responses, cadet." He praised. Mike did not look happy. Levi wasn't either but he had to admit he was impressed. She knew exactly what she needed to say to turn this in her favour.

"We're not done yet." Mike gritted out a reminder and Erwin sighed.

"Dilan it has come to our attention that on the first day of your stay you attempted to jump off the roof of the headquarters. Is this statement accurate?" He asked and Dilan shot Levi a look of disappointment. Levi looked away, trying to ignore the tiny splash of guilt he felt considering the brat had kept two of his secrets without any strings attached. He had told Erwin about her little attempt at the start of her coma. Levi was pissed at her for being so reckless and when he heard about the cuts on her legs being self-inflicted and Mike suggested she may not be stable enough for the corps, he jumped at the chance to further the prosecution with what he knew. Still now he was here, he couldn't help but feel a little wrong about snitching on her.

"Yes. It's accurate." Dilan replied truthfully, knowing Levi was a witness so she couldn't deny it. Then it would be his word against hers and he would win. Hanji looked upset at the admission, but Dilan continued before anyone could reply. "I already told you I don't care whether I live or die. After being brought out of everything familiar I found myself in an alien place surrounded by people who openly hated me and told me I didn't belong. Being tired and injuried, I did what felt natural. That doesn't make me suicidal, it made me unhappy. If I was suicidal, I would be dead by now, I'm not a patient person. If I want to do something, I do it. I'll admit, the first day here was rough but I feel a lot better now I have situated myself. The routines come more naturally, and I have friends I can talk to." Dilan said confidently, telling Erwin exactly what he needed to hear and smiling at Hanji for the full effect. The brunet smiled back, and Levi almost couldn't get over how manipulative this brat was. She had everyone wrapped around her little finger. Well... apart from him and Mike.

"And the cutting?!" Mike hissed, at the end of his tether. Erwin didn't look pleased at the interruption but didn't retort and nodded for Dilan to answer the question. Levi watched as the brat tensed.

"I don't believe those are any of your business." She stated. Erwin pursed his lips.

"That may be so, but the mental health of my soldiers is my business. Answer the question." He instructed. Dilan grit her teeth and clenched her jaw.

"It's not going to change anything!" She hissed. Hanji put a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Just answer the question honestly, Dilan." She said quietly. Dilan hesitated but took a breath and calmed down.

"I... I used to cut, back in the underground. I haven't done it in a while." She replied quietly, looking at her hands. Levi hated the guilty feeling that formed in his chest. This really wasn't any of their business. Sure, he wanted the brat gone but not like this.

"Why did you start?" Erwin persisted, unempathetically. The brat swallowed and paled slightly. Levi seemed to be the only one who noticed her hands started to shake before she clenched them into fists. This wasn't right. Even he knew that. But they both knew if the brat had another panic attack now, she'd be done for.

"What's the difference?" She murmured. Mike slammed his hand on the table making her flinch slightly.

"Answer the damn question!" Mike yelled.

"Mike!" Hanji scolded but Mike paid her no attention. Levi clenched his jaw. This was wrong on so many levels but what could he do? It's not like he could stand up for her. It was him and Mike that vouched for this personal evaluation. Dilan took a shaky breath and did her best to calm down.

"I lost someone." Dilan practically whispered, on the verge of a breakdown. Erwin's eyes hardened.

"Who?" He asked and Levi had to stop the surprise showing on his face. Seriously? This is so fucked up.

"Erwin-" He said, not being able to stop himself from intervening now but Erwin cut him off.

"Who did you lose, cadet?" He repeated in an emotionless voice. Even Mike was starting to look a little guilty now.

"You don't deserve the name." Dilan growled, looking up at him with fury in her eyes. "You're the last person in this world that deserves the name. I don't know what type of fucked up high your all getting out of this but those are my memories. I don't see you knocking down on everyone else's doors prying into their deepest secrets. You wanted me to be a soldier, I did my duty. If that's not good enough for you then you can fuck right off and leave me, the hell, alone." Dilan said in a low voice, each word dripping with poison as she stared right into Erwin's eyes. Levi, Hanji and Mike were rightfully regretful, but Erwin didn't look perturbed and Levi watched, exasperated, as a smirk made its way onto his face.

"Such fire. I love my soldiers with fire. You passed your evaluation, Dilan. Dismissed." He said simply and the brat spared all of them a disgusted look before leaving the room. Levi was seriously resenting how much guilt he felt.

"The fuck was that Erwin?!" He asked, almost disgusted as the brat.

"Why would you push like that? She thinks we were all playing some kind of sick game with her!" Hanji hissed, rightfully pissed off. Mike didn't say anything but looked regretful.

"The question was whether Dilan was stable enough to remain in the regiment or not. I needed to see exactly how stable she is and prodding at painful memories was the best way to do that. Her reaction was acceptable, an emotionless answer would have been better, but the girls got fire, so I didn't expect it. She converted her pain into anger. Very interesting." Erwin mused and the three looked at him in horror.

"You're a sick fuck, you know that Erwin." Levi said, shaking his head and leaving the room. He looked around for the brat, having this absurd need to apologise, although he didn't know if he'd actually manage the words once he found her. It didn't take him long. The brat was predictable at this point. He swallowed after finding that she was standing on the edge of the roof.

"Dilan... take a step back." He said slowly. Dilan wiped her face before laughing humourlessly and turning around to face him.

"Oh hey, sir! Come to do some more spying, have you? Come to rip open my deepest wound and fucking spit in it?" She hissed, pure hatred in her eyes. Levi couldn't blame her.

"Look, that was fucked up. I know it was and... I'm sorry for my part in it." He managed to force the words out even if they felt bitter on his tongue. He hadn't apologised for anything in a long time. Dilan didn't seem to think he was genuine.

"Do you know what's really fucked up?" She laughed without amusement and Levi kept flicking his eyes between her face and her footing. "I never would have done that to you. No matter how much I hate you, I never would have put you in that position. Even now, I would never tell eyebrows you fucking strangled me, and I would never tell the squad you used to live in the underground. Because that's just a real shitty thing to do. Don't you think, sir?" She said sarcastically, wobbling slightly on the edge. Levi swallowed, the guilt curdling. She was telling the truth too. She would never do that to him.

"I know. Look, Erwin's a sick bastard-"

"Erwin didn't call for the evaluation. He doesn't give two shits about my mental health as long as I kill his precious titans. I'm a piece on a chest board to him. He only did that evaluation because you and Mike decided I was unstable." She spat. Levi didn't answer. She was right after all. The girl was too perceptive for her own good. "But you know what? Your right, I'm not stable. Not in this shit. I've worked hard to become as fucking stable as I am and as soon as I come up here it all comes crashing down. I haven't been stable for the past three weeks! Why don't you scurry back to your commander and tell the bastard that! Oh, they hit me hard up here." She mumbled under her breath. Levi clenched his jaw, unsure of what to do. He wasn't exactly the type to talk someone down from the edge of a building.

"What hits you hard?" He questioned, stepping closer. Maybe if he could keep her talking, he could get close enough to just grab her. Dilan scoffed.

"Why should I trust you with that information?" She grimaced. Levi sighed, that was fair enough.

"Probably shouldn't." He admitted, watching as pain filled the brat's amber eyes.

"Why not, right? If they're going to do an evaluation, they should have all the information." She said quietly, staring down at the long drop. "I've had three depressive episodes since I was forced up here. First one was the time you found me on the roof. Normally I can resist the urges, but you brought up my death and I couldn't hold back. Second one happened after our fight in the ring. I wanted Tabitha to snap my neck, that's why I provoked her. I didn't want to tear the squad apart for my own amusement." Dilan let out a sigh and rubbed her face. Levi's eyes widened in realisation. Shit, I'm such a fucking moron. He thought back to finding her on the roof, completely exhausted and in pain. What did he do? Chuck some verbal and physical abuse her way while she was in the middle of a fucking depressive episode. "Third one. Well, it hasn't quite panned out yet. I'm not sure. You see, most of the time, I'm indifferent. I live my life without fear of dying, figuring, what happens will happen. But during these times... fuck, I really want to. It looks so peaceful down there." She whispered, edging forward and Levi's breath hitched in his throat. He was so fucking sorry, but he didn't know what to say.

"Dilan please. Don't give in. You must have something to live for, right? Anything?" Levi urged, taking another step closer. Dilan chuckled.

"What like my motive for being here?" She said flatly and Levi cursed himself. How was he so wrong? This girl was nothing like him back then. She was just a messed-up kid that picked up the wrong piece of junk in a dumpster.

"I was wrong." He said seriously.

"I don't know about that. You've been right about a lot. I'm pathetic. I'm scum. I'm nothing." She mumbled, leaning forward and Levi felt a sharp pang at his own words being thrown in his face. Why was he such a dick?

"You're not nothing, Dilan. Everyone's something. Everyone has something. Hey... look at me." Levi encouraged, taking another step. He could reach out and grab her now, but he had a feeling this would end better if she came down off of her own free will. Dilan twisted slightly to look at him with pained orange eyes. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve all the shit I've been throwing at you." He apologised again. Wow 2 apologies in one day to the same person. Dilan blinked and a tear rolled down her face.

"I do, actually. I'm a shitty person and we both know it." She replied, deflated. Levi was starting to panic slightly but he kept his face straight.

"Everyone's a shitty person deep down. Your probably less shitty than the average guy." He tried. Dilan smiled weakly but the pain in her eyes remained.

"Your really bad at comforting people." She pointed out. Levi gave her a small glare but sighed in defeat.

"I'm well aware. Would you post pone your suicide until I get Hanji?" He questioned. Dilan frowned.

"No. I'm pissed at her. Pissed at you too but your already here." She mumbled. Levi sighed and raked a hand through his hair.

"You did well on the expedition, you know. Rookies normally barely manage an assist on their first time, let alone taking out a titan from the inside." He pointed out. Dilan raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What happened on your first expedition?" She asked and Levi immediately felt the need to go on defence mode as his most painful memory flashed through his head. But then he realised that's how the brat must have felt back in that interrogation.

"My memory. The memory that eats at me." Levi forced the admission, clenching his fists together. Dilan's eyes widened a fraction.

"I won't make you talk about it. No one should be forced to do that." She sighed, looking out at the sunset. Levi couldn't get over this girl. Why did she care about his feelings at a time like this? "No bullshit. What did you think of the sky when you first came up?" She asked out of nowhere. Levi blinked at the question, tearing his gaze from the brat to the pinks and purple of the atmosphere.

"I... thought it was incredible." He answered truthfully. Dilan nodded.

"Me too." She replied and they fell into silence for a bit, watching the sun go down. "If I don't jump... are you going to tell them about this?" She asked, a hint of fear in her voice. Levi thought about it.

"Would these things ever happen on the field?" He asked, needing to know. Dilan shook her head.

"I need a reason to have them. Besides, I've never had them when I was active in the underground." She replied honestly. Levi nodded.

"Then I guess there's no reason too." He said, a tiny bit of hope sparking in his chest.

"You don't want me gone? Telling them about this would certainly prove your point." She pointed out, sadness in her tone. Levi felt the guilt again and he was starting to hate it.

"I'll admit. I wanted you gone but I don't anymore. Doesn't mean I trust you, or particularly like you but you're not the shit that I thought you were." he said, seriously. Dilan hesitated, staring out at the view. She looked down at the concrete below and Levi prepared himself to grab her, letting out a sigh of relief as she turned around and hoped down from the ledge. Levi felt the need to grab onto her and check she was okay but restrained himself. It was an odd urge to have and the brat didn't like people touching her anyway.

"Sorry for wasting your time. Night, sir." She replied nonchalantly before walking away. Levi felt physical pain from her words. They stung. How could he have been such a asshole?