Chapter Four: All Aboard

Sneaking on board the ship would be quite a feat as my options were severely limited. A human might be able to get on board via the side not being used by the crew to load, but being a vampire I was unable to go through the water. I couldn't pretend to be someone else by knocking out a crewman and taking his place as they seemed to all know each other by sight and sound like family. I had to get on board without being seen or heard which raised the prospect of having to suffer the indignity of doing the blindingly obvious; have them unwittingly take me on board by smuggling myself on as cargo. But I found myself unable to do that as well and not just because the cliché was almost too much to bear. I crept into one of the shacks they were removing some of the large crates from and easily peeled the lid from one of them. It was full of plain cloth…more than likely being sent to be dyed…which was the work of but a moment to remove and shuffle into a corner to be hidden.

With fingers curled around the edge, I leant over slightly and looked down into the empty space, just a few feet square. The shadows in the corners looked almost solid…the dark would be more claustrophobic that the actual limitations of the physical space. This crate…was…just…like…

'I'm sorry!'

No…it wasn't the same. I knew it wasn't the same. It couldn't be the same because I had gone back and found it and burned it. I had watched it fall apart into flakes of ash in front of me and I enjoyed watching it. It was warm. If I got into this crate I knew I could break out any time I wanted; I was strong enough, now, to rip it to shreds from the inside. I wouldn't hear soil being dumped by the shovel-full on top of it…I wouldn't feel the odd sprinkles of dirt trickling over my face and into my open screaming mouth…I wouldn't be down there for a time I couldn't count, I wouldn't be left buried under the ground with the shadows beginning to whisper to me…I wouldn't…

'Please! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!…… Let me out! Please, please I'll do anything you ask! Let me out… let me out!… I'll never complain, I'll never struggle just please let me out! Don't do this!'

No! No I couldn't…it was just the same…I couldn't bring myself to get any closer…

I stuffed the cloth back in without thinking, ramming the lid back into place. There was no way I would be able to make myself get inside that thing. I'd rather jump into the sea and burn, I would prefer hurling myself into the Abyss…

'Please! It's hard to breathe!'

I tore out of that shelter before my own remembered voice could evoke any more fear than it already had.

Running as silently as it was possible for me to do I disappeared back behind the rough shelters, facing away from the beach. Dropping my bag with a muffled thump to the ground I bent over with my hands on my knees and vomited as the sickened sensation finally manifested into a physical reaction. After spilling what little my stomach contained over the sand where it sank in to create a disgusting reddened mush I dry heaved for a little while; producing nothing more than copious amounts of saliva until my mouth was bone dry and my throat sore.

Damn it…I hope no one heard that.

After a few more coughs, leaving my stomach muscles and diaphragm aching all over again, I stood back up and wiped my mouth on the handkerchief once I'd extracted it from the cloak clasp. Retrieving my bag and tasting the acid sting lingering on my tongue and burning in the back of my throat I reconsidered my options.

There was no way that I would be climbing willingly into one of those crates and so that led me to the only other vaguely plausible method which was, unfortunately, one that I had already discarded. Going through the water was my only chance. It didn't necessarily have to be fatal. I should be able to hide myself relatively well in the shadows, partially through vampiric trait and partially because my clothes were predominantly black…especially if I was to turn my cloak inside out to show its pitch coloured lining. Also, if I kept to the shallows and moved quickly my boots should protect my feet to some degree. If all went well the worst I would be left with would be burns…and if I made a mistake, I could very well end up crippled or dead. But then again, when I compared that fate to the one I was sure would await me if I stayed here, well; the benefits outweighed the costs. It was a risk that I was going to have to take if I was going to get anywhere tonight.

I started off away from the ship so that I would not be spotted crossing over to the water's edge. I would approach on the left, opposite the side that the men were concentrating on.

Without further ado I turned the cloak inside out and was off on my way. Jogging swiftly it was simple enough the reach where the sand met the sea and then move up the beach towards the ship and just as I hoped, the humans were all far to busy with their given tasks to take any notice even though they had been clearly told to be on the look out.

I stayed out of the water for as long as I could and only ventured into it when I had no other choice. My breath hitched the very second that I took the first step. For a moment I almost stopped myself, as it was impossible to believe any rational thought process could have come up with this ridiculous little plan. But thankfully I managed to keep going and I can only imagine the events that might have befallen me if I had not. I could barely contain the new fear felt for my proximity to the water now surrounding me and I quickly felt my body chill and my legs shake as I moved on.

For now the leather had not been penetrated but I new it would not take much longer and sure enough the first few tingling sensations against the skin of my feet indicated that if I did not hurry I would end up as a small boiling mess of bones washing back onto the beach. Nearing the ship now I could make out the name of it which had been lovingly painted on to a large metal plaque in swirling calligraphy; 'Everseeker'.

I must admit that I was highly surprised when not a single human soul spotted me. Deep down I had been suspecting that there would be no way this could go smoothly, but they seemed so focused on getting ready to go that everything else was completely ignored. Thusly I was able to reach the ship, though nowhere near the middle which was highly unfortunate. By this time I was crouching by the pier and could feel the water that had been absorbed into the tanned animal hide searing my flesh…if I didn't hurry up I would have just a soupy mess for lower legs…good grief it hurt! It was all I could do to stop myself screaming. I waited as long as I could bear to work out the pattern of the coming and going of the men and when I was sure the moment was right I used all the strength my re-birth had bestowed me to jump as high as possible and use my claws to latch onto the wood. I managed to get quite near the edge but the soft sand and the pain I was suffering had hindered the move and so I was left clinging only by the sharpened nails that were now beginning to tear away from my fingertips. A joyous experience, I think not! I cannot decide which is worst; the burning in my boots or the agony flaring up my fingers and hands.

By my count I only had a brief few more seconds before someone would be up on the deck so I kicked against the side to launch me the last couple of feet to drop almost silently on board the 'Everseeker'. I didn't have the time to take in any of my new surroundings or to admire the craftsmanship of the vessel I had stolen aboard…I had just enough time to dive down the stairs. The inside was a veritable labyrinth of crates and goods, and I ended up ducking and dodging to avoid being spotted as I worked my way to the lowest hold at the very bottom of the ship which was already filled.

As soon as I entered the place and was certain that no one was on their way to make life difficult for me I dropped to the boards and all but tore the boots from my feet.

It was not a pretty sight. I had hoped that they might just be somewhat raw…but no…in most places the skin had been stripped completely away and around where the water had come through at the lace holes and were the soles were stitched to the upper the flesh itself was eaten away to reveal veins and ligaments. I suspected that the gruesome sight would have made me throw up again if I hadn't already left my lunch outside. Thankfully, the moment the boots were off so was the water and so the gruesome wounds instantly repaired themselves; flesh and skin re-growing and knitting together without mark or scar. The boots were still sodden so there was no way I would be putting them back on until they had dried out…which would mean at least two or three days barefoot. Well…it wasn't as if I couldn't get another pair from somewhere or another, and if I felt that desperate I might be able to find some in these crates or simply just mug one of the crew.

To help my boots dry I pried open another crate that looked similar to…the one outside, and then a few more until I found more of the plain cloth which I then tore into strips to use as stuffing to absorb the damnable liquid (singing my hands in the process). With the lids hammered quietly back into place I turned my attention to finding a more hidden spot to make myself comfortable.

There was a clear path between the walls of that which had been packed into the place and at the farthest end I found a small space that would be easy enough for me to fit myself into. I turned the cloak back the right way round but kept it on then settled down in the space, placing my soggy, salty boots and my bag in front of me. Out of habit I automatically curled into my usual sleeping position; back to the wall, hugging my legs to my chest and resting my head on my knees.

For a while I just listened to the ominous creaking made by the 'Everseeker' which I tried to assure myself was all perfectly normal even though I new nothing at all to do with sailing in any way shape or form. I had neglected to ask Ridwan how long the journey would take when it got underway, so for all I knew I could be in one hell of a long wait…maybe even days. Damn it all I should have asked.

Sighing I supposed I aught to think of something to do to stop me dying of boredom while I waited for the ship to set sail and reach its destination.

In the end…all I could think of was home.

-o-

I can't say why I went back; I just knew that I had to. I couldn't stay away forever no matter what I had tried to tell myself. My soul would never stand for it if I had refused my own desire to return and find what had become of all those I had left behind.

But when I got there…after crossing the dusty wasteland I hadn't been sure if I would ever see again…once I had retraced my steps all the way back to the place that I had run from…what I found was…

Nothing.

It was derelict. I couldn't believe that the place was actually capable of being so silent and empty. There had never been a time that I can recall where there had not been someone awake in the entire place. Even if it were only one of the servants with an errand to run the territory had never been vacant, not like how it was now.

There were no voices; only my footsteps echoing against the walls filled the space around me. The silence was something I found to be highly unnerving and I could feel cold pricks against my skin as I slowly walked along. I was frightened nearly half to death by a grasshopper that chose to chirrup right beside me just as I was growing accustomed to the emptiness.

What happened here? Where were they all? Had something happened in this place or had they actually taken it upon themselves to act on my advice and left? I hadn't the answers to any of the questions that I kept producing, all that I could do was move on and hope to see something that might explain what occurrence had caused my home to become a hollow shell, devoid of all the life that had made it what it was.

Casting my gaze about the place I sought the elusive clue to ease the heartache of not knowing whether they were dead, on the run…or worse. There were no candles, no fires and there was dust settling about the place, all suggesting that it had been a while since anyone had been here, servant or otherwise. Nothing else, however, was out of place. Rooms were still as they should have been, in tact and unblemished by any struggle an attacker or intruder would herald.

It made no sense…after all of their harsh words to me over what they considered the state of my mind had they just accepted my warning? No…something just wasn't right. Something awful had happened here, I could feel it; a lingering wind of unease blowing through the place, a terrible tension to alert the soul.

I was not very well acquainted with the contents of peoples rooms and so looking in theirs for signs was not the greatest of ideas…but the master's…I had been there a good few times recently so I aught to be able to recognise anything out of place in his chamber.

The journey there and my approach to the doors was uneventful and upon laying my hands on the wood I felt nothing more than the grain…no greater fear or anxiety than was all around me. I gave a solid push to both doors and they swung soundlessly open to reveal that the room I was so sure I would recognise was nothing like what I knew it to be. It was ten times larger, more a hall than a room, and was bare of everything. No carpet, no bed, no cupboards, no sideboard, no ottoman, no window…just a cold hall with flagstones for a floor, walls formed of slabs of roughly shaped white marble and a ceiling so obscured by darkness I could not make it out at all…and I got the feeling that no matter how high I jumped or climbed, it would always be that way.

"This is new." I said out loud to myself, in the hope the sound of my voice would comfort and calm me. But my words seemed to be swallowed up, and although I could feel the sounds being made in my throat and being expelled from my mouth they never reached my ears.

Shouting didn't help in the slightest; I still couldn't produce anything that could exist outside of my own skull.

I turned to leave, only to witness blood begin to seep out of and run down the closed doors which, on this side, seemed to have esoteric symbols scored and burned into them. It poured thickly from invisible holes in the surface and spluttered out around the hinges and handles as if pushed out by a heartbeat…and…and the white walls soon followed suit until they looked as if they were actually made of it, held up by some arcane force alone; vertical wide rivers of blood creating a cage around me, the floor of which was rapidly beginning to fill. Already I was up to my ankles in the crimson liquid and desperate to get out. But trying to open the door was as futile as trying to hold mist as the blood had made the hands so slick I could not grasp them…my hands would slide straight off without the slightest hint of purchase on their surface.

"Why…" a heavy voice breathed behind me…a voice that was not my own and echoed against the running walls.

Turning again, I faced my brothers and sisters…all standing before me, paler than fresh winter snow for I knew that all this blood had to be theirs; drawn from them by the grip of death. They looked more like zombies than vampires…their eyes dull and without the lustre I had always seen them so full of; their enthusiasm for mere existence was gone. Skin was taught against their bones as if there were no muscle to support them and they seemed to twitch and shudder with every step…every step that they took towards me.

"Why should you go when we could not?" They all said; one collective voice screaming at me, a singular noise I heard with my heart.

As they moved, the skin at their joints tore like parchment, exposing the brittle yellowed bone beneath. These rips and tears accumulated and bit-by-bit their limbs began to fall from them, dropping into the blood that was already up to my knees where they would boil and dissolve.

"You should have taken us with you; this is your fault!" Those who still possessed arms pointed accusing fingers at me, some of which twisted, snapped as they did so.

I tried to speak, to tell them that I had done all that I could; I had tried to convince them. Tried so hard to save them but they wouldn't listened. But again my words were devoured by the dark void above that took the place of the roof.

"Coward…passing the blame…you should have tried harder. You know you could have. You are the only one to blame. This is your doing, your fault; yours and yours alone. You allowed this. You let us die while you ran away, coward."

Spinning around, my heard racing, I slammed my hand again and again against the door, splashing blood over me with each strike. I could hear them behind me…so close now…I knew I would soon feel them against me, in whatever state of rot they were overcome by. I tried to tell them how sorry I was, but I had been silenced and there was nothing I could do to make them here me, it was too late for words, for apologies. It was just too damn late…I didn't deserve a voice…why should they listen to me?

"Why should you leave?" Calisra said.

Calisra? No, I couldn't look around. One last slam against the door and it finally burst open, gravity bearing me to the ground with my eyes firmly shut and the blood rushing over me, soaking me to the skin.

"Why!" was their final, extended and anguished cry, with Calisra's the loudest of them all.

And then…silence…the clammy feeling of the blood was gone, as was the sensation of unfamiliarity that the hall replacing my master's chamber had had about it. Opening my eyes I saw that I was back in the hall, clean and dry. Turning onto my back I looked at the double doors…a small trickle of blood emerged from the crack where the two slabs of wood met.

Without looking back I sprinted away down the halls, afraid to look back until I reached the room that should be my own. Looking back the way I came I was glad to see that there was no wave of scarlet chasing after me. I cautiously opened the door to my own room…and saw nothing out of place. It was exactly as I had left it; a complete wreck, a familiar wreck.

I padded inside and looked out of the window, which I vividly remembered using to cause certain items of furniture fully vacated the premises. Nothing else had changed. The territory was empty…

Those symbols on the master's door…was it possible that they were a curse; an awful spell to trap my fellow Razielim and make them suffer for a lightless and pained eternity? I wouldn't put it past Lord Kain to do such a thing in a rush of jealousy. I seemed just like him; to decide that the Abyss or the Reaver was just not enough torture.

If it was a curse, then perhaps there was some way of removing it and freeing them…yes, there had to be! I don't care what it takes; even if I have to go all the way to hell to find the solution I would find a way to save them. It was my duty to save them now, my penance for failing them before and allowing this torturous purgatory to be cast on them.

Moving from the window and it's view of a barren home I sat down on the edge of the bed and give some time to thinking things over; things like what I would do now…who I might be able to talk to without Lord Kain discovering me and hunting me down…

I was suddenly aware of another living presence in the room. Turning my head I watched with chilling horror as a sickeningly familiar man crossed the rag-rug covered floor to where I now perched shivering…all too aware that I was clothed in only a pair of shorts and a shirt too large for me with its top buttons missing meaning that it was permanently slipped off one shoulder.

Every inch of me was frozen solid as he ended his approach and I felt the ancient mattress dip where his weight was placed into it.

I could do nothing more than simply stare ahead at the cracks in the plaster of the wall that, in places, had fallen away to show the wood behind. Those distressingly familiar walls bathed in cheap candlelight. But even if it wasn't, the single window was mostly boarded shut and would block a lot of the natural light. My life spent under the glow of a tallow candle, with sheets and pillows that reeked of other men's sweat.

Calloused fingers reaching from behind me brushed my shoulder then again over one cheek before settling in my tousled hair and proceeding to stroke it. "I missed you." Came the awful oily voice of the man behind me. I could not see him, but I knew he would be of average height, with half lidded watery hazel eyes and cropped dark brown hair. His face would be set in a hazy smile of lust.

Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me so that I was kneeling on the bed with the man behind me, knees either side of my hips and chest pressed to my back.

"Please…" I whispered in a voice that shook as much as my body did. "Don't…"

"Shhh." He cooed, sliding one palm down my side and leg. "Good boy."

"No…" but my voice was small and I was weak, I didn't dare do anything to stop him and knew crying would only make it so much worse. "Stop it."

I tried to find a place in my mind to retreat to and closed my eyes while those same fingers moved to dig painfully hard into my hip, reminding me that it was not my place to complain or protest...that I had no control.

I couldn't let myself cry…even though my eyes stung and my throat was unbearably tight.

"Sweet little thing." Were the words spoken as the other hand rose to hold my neck.

The breathing behind me became heavier, the body tougher and the heartbeat that carried through my back was steadier. I felt rough lips and cold breath began to trace above my jugular and twin sharp needlepoints raise welts in the skin there.

The hand at my hip suddenly felt colder and more solid, not to mention sharper, and the same could be said of the hand clasped to my neck.

Creeping my eyes open and wanted to scream. The hands were not hands…they were bony claws, the skin on the arms was rough and muscled…and long white hair spilled over my shoulder and chest from the head buried in my neck.

No…

K-k-k…Kain!

Panic overruled every other thought process and I struggled for all I was worth to get away from him, heart leaping into my mouth.

But it seemed as though it would all be in vain for he was a million more times stronger than me and if there was something he wanted then nothing was going to stop him. I'd heard the stories…I'd even seen him once or twice with my own two eyes. His muscles were like steel cables, flesh as hard as stone, it was as pointless as trying to push against a mountain. I must have caught him off guard as an accidental but firm elbow to the ribs had him winded and enabled be to make a break for it. Pulling myself free of his grip I made a dash for the door…but to my dismay it was locked.

"Last one, eh, boy?" I heard Kain growl behind me as I tugged on the handles, voice as rough as his touch. "Think you would go unnoticed? You're a good boy, coming back. I would have had to find you if you didn't."

I didn't look back at him, I just held onto the handle, hunched against the door. "Please just let me go." That look in his eyes; I'd seen it so many times before and had hoped never to see it again after master Raziel had saved me. "Please!"

"Shouting won't help. There's no one left to hear you; you are the only one. The last one."

Claws scuffed to a halt behind me…he was standing right behind me. I didn't even think about what I did next, I just spun around and put as much force as I could into one hand; driving my claws into his side.

He grunted and took half a step back but otherwise was unfazed. Grabbing my wrist he wrenched my nails from his muscles and then backhanded my face. Good god he hit hard and I could swear I blacked out for a second, as I couldn't even remember falling and skidding across the floor until I struck the wall, which is where I ended up. I made to pick myself up and it was then that my eyes caught on the red stained figure slumped beside me.

Kain caught me looking and smirked. "He can't save you twice. And what makes you think that you deserve to be saved?"

Master! Bleeding from over a dozen shredded tears in his body as well as the gaping great holes in his back where his new wings were supposed to be. His cold dark eyes stared lifelessly into my own and silently displayed the last few moments of pain suffered before his soul mercifully flew from his shattered form.

"You betrayed him." Kain laughed, guttural and low. "You left your entire clan to die, even your precious master. Why didn't you make him go with you, why didn't you keep trying until he understood? You let this happen to him, you may as well have killed him with your own two hands."

I had just enough time to roll onto my back before Kain grabbed me by the throat and hauled me up; slamming me mercilessly into the wall. Thrashing my head as if somehow it might help and straining against his vice grip

Bloody wings rose from Kain's back, from which ran rivulets of thick crimson over his shoulders. His face twisted into an expression half way between a smile and a snarl before grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head with one hand so he could release my throat. Pushing his knee into my stomach to help stop my struggling he grabbed my head with his free hand.

"No! Let me go! Please don't!" I begged.

The wings rose and hooded above us, dropping blood thickly over me, into my eyes and over my skin.

"Please! No!" I screamed desperately, unable to focus.

He laughed wildly and I could feel the booming sound echoing in my chest. "You're not going anywhere."

"Please…" I couldn't even scream anymore. All I was able to produce was a terrified whimper. "Let me go."

He shook his head. "And why would I do that? What use are you? You are just another potential threat and you have proven yourself to be a traitor."

There was nothing about him that gave away what he did next. He dragged me by my hands across the room, through the pools of my master's blood, and tossed me onto the bed.

"No!" Not again…I can't…I can't go back to that…But within seconds he had his claw flat to my chest and holding me down. I couldn't stop him…that look.

"You're the only one remaining. Let's make this enjoyable…and make it last. Just stay put and lie still, boy."

"Aaaghhhh!" Throwing my head back with one last wail of despair it struck the solid wood behind me and left me in a daze.

Blinking back into focus the world became clear again. Harshly and quickly breathing in the cold salty sea air, the cargo hold of the trading ship 'Everseeker' returned to me…still dark and gloomy. Far from home, and slowly venturing further still. My back firmly to the wall and legs tucked against me, alone and safe.

Shaking, sweating and weeping tears that burned lines down my face, I confirmed my surroundings, wrapping fingers around the white material I drew the cloak tighter around me…yes, safe…

It was just a dream, a bad dream…a bloody nightmare.

A regular thumping that scuffed to a halt in front of me suddenly joined the creaks and groans of the hold that I had begun to grow used to and almost find comforting. Lifting my eyes I was met with the unwelcome sight of a pair of boots before.

"Should have guessed." Said Ridwan, sneering down at me. "Bloody vampire."

He towered above me, glaring down with pure contempt now wearing a long black hooded cloak and clutching a sabre in his fist so tightly his knuckles were bone white.

My eyes still stung but the tears had stopped and the blackened scorches tracing down my cheeks were quickly healing. "You're going to try to kill me?" I didn't need this. I didn't need to wake up from that hell of a nightmare to be confronted by a sharpened length of cold steel being wielded by an enraged human being.

"No, I'm not going to try to kill you. I am going to kill you. There's a difference."

"You're on your own." I commented, noting the lack of reinforcements. I assumed that I had screamed out loud and that upon being the only one to hear it he had come to investigate.

He didn't seem to have a reply, instead preferring to slash at me with the sword he held. Of course, although I would rather not admit it, even though I was a vampire and thus physically stronger and faster than he, Ridwan had the upper hand. He had the weapon with the longer reach and I was the one backed into a very small space with nowhere to go. As he made the attack I had automatically jumped up and tried to move backwards out of pure instinct…only to find I couldn't pass through walls and was now at the right height to have the angle of attack changed to thrust the blade into my chest.

For a second I just looked at the steel protruding from my ribcage as if nothing had happened…and then the pain surfaced and I couldn't help but scream again. He had missed my heart but had, instead, impaled my lungs. I felt my diaphragm buck inside me and blood rose up my throat to spill from my mouth…the metallic taste flooding over my tongue and lingering there tainted with the curse that made me what I was. My instinct reaction would have just been to struggle, which would have made it worse, but thankfully I managed to hold that in and instead pressed forwards using my greater strength to push Ridwan back until I was in a fairly open area. Then I could pull away from him.

I stood facing him now, with a hole in my chest and no weapon but my claws. He could shout for help and it would all be over.

He raised the sword which now seemed to glow red as if were on fire because of the light of a storm lantern glaring on the blood from my own body along its length. "Just stay still and die!"

To be continued…

Author's Note – Wow, sorry this is so late. Next time I'll stick to the date I set and update on time. Thanks to all for reading and reviewing!

Poor Maddrell…I torture him so. I had a great debate as to whether to post this one at all; I wanted to chop and change the nightmare sequence alot more than I already have but figured I'd held back the update for long enough as it is. Maybe I'll change it in the future.