Chapter 9
Two years later
For four years Sesshomaru had walked anywhere his feet took him. He hadn't talked to anyone outside of Nakoa for the entirety of those four years. He hadn't been able to bring himself to handle social interaction of any kind. Nakoa was always there, and while she didn't speak, she found other ways to communicate. At the moment, she was all that he needed.
Stopping, he looked around him, finding himself in the middle of a grassland, the wind dancing through, making the white flowers dance around him. It was all he could see for miles. He hadn't even remembered getting there, but he found he didn't care.
His self-imposed isolation hadn't done much for him. He had hoped by going on his own, limiting his contact to all others, he could get rid of this want, this desire to chase down Kagome and never let her out of his sight again.
A year into his separation he learned his first lesson. Kagome would forever be on his mind. He didn't know why, but all he wanted was for it to stop. He dreamed of her, wished for her, prayed for her. He would catch himself walking towards the shiro, the last direction he had known her to be, and then stop, remembering her last words. She wished for his death.
His feet would freeze then. He would be left feeling empty and broken. Just like the day he left. It was then he knew he wasn't ready to return home and instead turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. He needed to let her go, to stop thinking of her, to forget about her.
By the second year, he accepted that wasn't going to happen. He didn't know why she plagued his thoughts. At first, he thought it was because of the bond, but then he ran into another demon, this one a female. She had rejected her soul bonded just like Sesshomaru. However, her reasons were far different. Her soul bonded had been taken down a path of evil, and she didn't want to take part in that. After her soul bonded was killed by an abnormally strong miko and monk, she found love with another demon. Her soul bonded had killed her lover's soul bonded. Together, through their sorrow, they fell in love.
Just because Kagome was his soul bonded, didn't mean he had to be hers. It didn't automatically make you fall in love with the other. The relationship still required work, still took an effort. It had to be wanted on both parts for it to be successful. Sesshomaru didn't want Kagome and Kagome didn't want him. So why was he constantly thinking of her. He accepted that his mind was going to be glued to her, but he wanted to know why.
It took another year before he understood completely what was happening. Despite everything he had done to her, despite the distance, the words, the attack, the threats, he had gone and thrown his heart at her feet. He was in love with Kagome, his soul bonded.
He knew her like the back of his hand. She was kind and generous. She was passionate and heartfelt. She was the opposite of him. She both completed him and devastated him. When he came to this realization, he had been furious. He had wanted to hunt her down and punish her for making him fall in love with her, but then, almost instantly, a calm washed over him. It wasn't her fault he had fallen in love with her. She hadn't done anything to force him to want her. That wasn't something she would do.
He thought maybe someone else had cast a spell on him but realized quickly that wasn't likely. He was too powerful for any spell to work on him. He had fallen in love with Kagome of his own volition. No one had forced him. His heart had been given to her by his own hands.
Over this past year, he had learned to accept this new knowledge. Kagome was his future. At least, what little future they had. He had wasted twenty years warring over his emotions and feelings. When he had been cruel, he should have been loving her. He should have been cherishing the time they would have together. Now she was most likely near forty. He would be lucky to have another twenty years with her. They would have no children. A human at her age wouldn't be able to handle the burden of pregnancy and childbirth. That was if she could conceive at all.
He would have to be content with the life they would have. He was the one who had wasted their time away. There was nothing they could do about it now. The time they had left together would have to be treasured.
Nakoa brushed a muzzle against his back, and he reached up a hand, patting her neck. He knew what he wanted, knew he didn't have much time left, and yet something kept him from running back to the shiro and throwing himself at Kagome's feet. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't like it. He needed to get back, to love Kagome, but he just couldn't. Looking up at the bright sky, he wondered when he became a coward.
"Hello." A human male announced himself, catching both Sesshomaru and Nakoa off guard. One minute he was there, the next he wasn't. Sesshomaru growled, baring his fangs at the human. He didn't like knowing a human had caught him off guard.
The human smiled at him, old and grey. He looked frail almost. The smell of death hung heavy on him, and Sesshomaru knew he did not have very much longer left in this world. Still, the human seemed unphased by his impending death. "I am Kenshin. Yuna sent me. She can feel your heart."
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, curious but wary. Who is Yuna? What did the human mean about Sesshomaru's heart? His answer was in the ground beneath him. It began to vibrate, shaking fiercely. He took to the skies, Nakoa flying beside him. The earth split open, revealing a cave with depths so dark he couldn't see the end of it. No light whatsoever. "You think me a fool, Human? I am not one to fall into traps."
"Are you sure, Lord Sesshomaru?" Kenshin motioned above them, and Sesshomaru snarled, realizing that while he had been focused on the ground beneath him, a stone dome had formed above him. He was locked in, a demonic barrier keeping him from escaping.
Lifting his hand, he snapped his whip out towards the stone, growling when he got no response. He looked at Nakoa, expecting her to be frantic, but she did nothing, floating there beside him with an ease that didn't match the situation they were in.
"Pain." A soft curious voice echoed around him, and Sesshomaru looked around, trying to spot it. "You've caused so much pain."
"You speak in riddles. Show yourself. Fight me." Sesshomaru's claws glowed green, a threat to any who saw. The rocks in front of him began to morph and form, the human rising up on a moving rock platform beside it. A woman appeared, naked, her head cocked to the side.
"You have scarred her." Reaching out, the woman grabbed Sesshomaru's hand, her fingers lacing between his. His claws still glowed with poison, but she felt nothing. Her grip was iron hard, unrelenting. She had him in her grasp, but he felt no ill intent from her. She was a curious being, a cave dweller. She was harmless, just nosy.
"Speak clearly, then release me." He knew she wasn't going to let him go until she had said what she wanted to.
"Kagome." One word, and he was jolting back as if she had struck him. The bones in his fingers ached, her hand squeezing tighter and tighter. "So much pain, yet she regretted. Her words were lies, your death unwanted."
"She doesn't wish me dead?" Hope flared in his chest, and he realized then why he had hesitated on returning. He had been worried she would reject him like he had rejected her. If this demon had come across Kagome, had read Kagome's heart, then he knew he had a chance. Kagome cared enough about him to want him safe. That was telling.
"She wishes for your absence but not with such finality." Yuna managed to dash his hopes with one sentence. "Her heart is too pure, too kind. She is unique."
"Why tell me this?" Sesshomaru pulled at his hand, lips drawing back as she squeezed harder.
"You want her, claim to love her, but you do not understand." Yuna pulled him forward hard, her other hand coming out to grip at his wrist. Her nails dug into his skin, and Sesshomaru felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest as Yuna's nails threatened to mar Kagome's name on his flesh. "You caused so much pain."
"I know." He struggled to get free, called on his poison, but she did not release him. "I have done much damage."
"You do not understand. You are not ready to go to her." Yuna finally let him go, and he put as much distance between them as he could. If there was something he didn't understand, it was what Yuna was trying to tell him.
"Release me. I am done with this conversation." He didn't want to speak to this woman any more than he already had.
"If you go to her, there will be no hope for the bond you share. You are not ready." Yuna disappeared back into the walls she had created. The moment she did, the dome around Sesshomaru disappeared, taking the human with him. Before Kenshin disappeared from sight, he lifted his wrist, showing Sesshomaru the name written there. A human and a demon, soul bonded. They had what Sesshomaru wouldn't.
"Let us go, Nakoa." Sesshomaru landed on the once more flat ground, beginning his journey once more. Nakoa hesitated only a second, looking back at the original direction they had been traveling. They were no longer going towards the shiro. Sesshomaru wasn't sure where he was going, but his resolve had been rattled. Yuna's worlds swam in his head, and until they were gone, he couldn't go to Kagome. Not like this.
…
Kagome laughed as InuYasha stumbled over a root, falling over. He stood immediately, once more running after Alastar's tail as the horse trotted in front of him, playing with him. InuYasha absolutely adored Alastar and all of the other horses. Yumi stood far away from little hands, grazing on thick grass while Calthal stood nearby, serious and ever watching for danger.
Miroku and Sango sat beside her, Miroku sipping at his wine. Izayoi sat on her other side, chuckling as her young son continued playing with Alastar. Kagome loved moments like this, her entire family together and enjoying themselves. It was rare that Miroku and Sango got to stop by the shiro, but when they did, they always had some sort of dinner to commemorate it.
"Kagome." Touga walked into the courtyard, a handsome wolf demon following behind him. "This is Kouga, the lord of the East. He found himself curious about the woman that was able to elongate Izayoi's life. I promised to introduce him."
"Oh." Kagome stood, bowing to Kouga who stared at her with wide eyes. "It's nice to meet you, Lord Kouga."
"You're fucking gorgeous." Kouga spit out suddenly. Everyone aside of InuYasha stopped to stare, stunned. Clearing his throat, Kouga blushed, then stepped up to Kagome, grabbing her hands. "I don't know you, and you don't know me. But I would like to change that."
"I…" Kagome looked towards Touga, conflicted. Her soul bonded was Touga's son. She didn't want Touga to hate her. At Touga's nod, her shoulders fell limp in relief. It was the first time someone had out right approached her in this manner, and she could admit she was a little flustered. "I think… I think I would like that."
"Then perhaps a walk in the gardens. I have many questions." He held out an arm to her, and with a blush, she took it. She didn't know if anything would happen between her and Kouga. She didn't expect it to, but some part of her couldn't help but to hope. Maybe this is the companionship she had been looking for all along. An image of Sesshomaru popped into her head, his eyes cold and hard. No matter what happened with Kouga, it would be better than anything she would have with Sesshomaru.
...
Sesshomaru is in no way ready to go back to Kagome. He knows that he loves her, but he doesn't understand the gravity of the pain he caused Kagome. In his mind, he still thinks he can just walk up to her, give a simple apology and all will be well. He has to learn, and that will happen soon. This is apart of his character growth. He knows what he feels for Kagome, and accepts it. Now he has to understand that his actions come with consequences, and then realize that he will have to do more than a simple apology to win Kagome back. But, this realization of what he feels for Kagome is a start. Its the nest step in the right direction. He is opening his eyes. There not fully open yet, but they are getting there.
Now, as for the challenge. Last week I asked for twenty reviews from different people. I gave a dead line of two days. Ya'll took my deadline and slapped me in the face with it within a few hours. So lets make this a little harder. Same deadline. Ya'll have till Wednesday morning to get me Twenty-five reviews from different people. As soon as we hit that goal, I'll post the next chapter. Here's a chapter hint to get your review fingers going: Sesshomaru and Miroku meet for the first time. Sesshomaru and Kouga run into each other. The West prepares for war. If your interested in that chapter, get those reviews pumping and you will get it as soon as i see twenty-five.
P.S. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, and thank you to everyone who reads. I appreciate both my silent readers and my reviewers. Ya'll really do make it easy to keep posting and writing. Thanks yo DiditheReaper who edits these chapters for easy reading.
