A/n: I very much appreciate all the lovely reviews i've had since starting this one. This one is for you, Decidedly Average. There is one final part to this one which will be posted in the week.
Please enjoy.
I Must Tell You
Part three.
E L. A Married man. Three years experience. Deputy. Senior leadership. A glowing reference. Favoured by the board, and I, naturally.
This was real life with real life feelings. The last few months had broken her. It had taken all confidence, strength and finally, it had stolen her ability to be happy. Rachel uncontrollably wept as she threw her head into her hands. Tears collectively huddling on the desk beneath her. It was a cry of exhaustion, pain, guilt and more importantly, the loss of a man she never had the chance to call hers. She needed to leave and quickly. This was not the time to be revisiting the early memories they shared. That moment that they'd first met - the anguish, jealousy and battle for power. Weeks were spent furiously trying to prove who was the most dominant. Ironically, they were both powerful and determined individuals with rather big hearts and that's what made them who they were. The dynamic caused a few bumps, and yet even so, their friendship grew closer than anyone could have imagined. His protective nature and warm heart opened her eyes to a man that she could love. Even in her wrong doings, he never walked away, not once. That was more than just a friendship.
Educating herself had been undoubtedly the best thing she had ever done. Meeting Eddie, well that was fate. Almost as if it were meant to be. Which is exactly why this felt like someone had been deliberately twisting the knife deeper and deeper into her already wounded body.
Delicately wiping the tears from her cheeks, she pushed the chair out of it's position and rose to her feet. She could do this. She was going to do this. Her fingertips brushed along the edge of the desk before they stumbled upon the last item to be packed away. Her eyes closed for a second as she recalled the sentimental value. It was nothing expensive but it was important. It's silver body, with gold detailing beautifully etched to the upper half. A ballpoint pen. Some would say she was ridiculous to care for such an item, but she did. It was a gift from Eddie, her Eddie. He'd often walk off with many of her pens - by accident of course - and more often than not, she'd never see them again. There was one time, however, that she wished he would have just accidentally walked off with one.
It had been a Friday, and of course, the day had brought nothing but trouble. Bolton had been in the cooler, twice. There had been many fights, and to top it all off, one of the kids had stood on her favourite pen during the violent outburst. Finding solitude in her office, the pen sat completely unfixable in her hand, and she sat quietly for a few moments - or so she had thought. Eddie had watched from a distance, unaware of the value.
"Rach? Everything okay?", Eddie questioned as he proceeded into her office. Rachel didn't register for a few seconds, but a familiar figure standing in front of her soon caught her attention. Worry etched into his features.
"Oh sorry, yeah everything is fine. I'm fine." It was alright to tell a white lie, now and again. Sensing her dismissive but not so convincing tone, he pointed to the object in her hand, "Is it broken?"
She gave him a half-smile, before brushing her fingertips gently along the damaged area.
"It was my grandfather's. It's god knows how old, but it's the last thing I have of him. Sentimental value." She didn't have to say much else, and he nodded to show his understanding. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he leaned against the door frame. He studied the way she carried on carefully examining the pen, and he spoke softly, "Something I can fix?". Hesitating, she nodded her head before placing the pen inside the top drawer of her desk. "No", her tone indicated that she was ready finish the topic, and he didn't take offence.
And so, on the last day of term, she found a leather rectangular shaped box sitting on her desk. She'd never forget his sprawl on one of her sticky notes. Rach, not as good as the real thing, I know. I won't nick this one. You have my word. Eddie x
Eddie had been the man that she had always wanted. They had always been so close, but yet, just not close enough. She had to remove herself from the damaging surroundings that had engulfed her.
Two options. You have two options. Get married, see the headship through. Play happy families. It was definitely the easier option, but, happiness would be questioned almost everyday. Taking the plunge would be difficult. The fear of rejection looming, once again. Go after her. Beg for her to reinstate as headteacher. And finally? Do not let her go.
Eddie threw his arms down onto his desk in frustration. Violence had never been in his nature, but she did something to him. She got to him. Every little detail that he loved about her constantly on his mind, diminishing her every fault. She has always been the one to pull him from the wreck when he could see no other way out. The bond that she'd brought back to life between him and Michael, he could never thank her enough.
If she were to leave now, then he knew that there would be a good chance he would never see her again. Of course, being Melissa's sister it would be expected that he'd run into her at some gathering or even yet, their wedding. But, knowing Rachel, there's be a good chance she'd up and leave, start a new life somewhere different and leave any communication. Not out of spite, but rather a selfless act to show respect; to give them the perfect life, with no interruptions, which is exactly why he couldn't just leave her go. Eddie knew she loved him back. This wasn't just about the school anymore, this wasn't about her giving up her job role and this certainly wasn't just about her leaving because of misjudgment or exhaustion. This was about them. Breaking away from his desk, he marched over to his classroom door before swinging it open with full force. Rounding the corner, he could see her figure heading towards the stairs. His legs took him as fast as they could, and the loud slam of the door crashing against the wall startled her.
"Don't go."
The atmosphere was intense. Rachel's heart raced as she could see his determination.
"Eddie ..", she began, but Eddie interrupted before she even had the chance to continue.
"Rachel, don't go." His voice was stern, but it wasn't to frighten her. She had to understand. The pair of them at a complete halt, neither knowing the boundaries. Rachel knew she had to say something, something to release the awkwardness.
"I've left a detailed plan for you outlining-", not much of her sentence could be finished before Eddie jumped back in.
"Rachel, please! Just hear yourself!" Throwing his arms up in rage, he was just desperate for her to listen. To put aside the cover. He needed her to understand that what she was doing was wrong. They locked eyes once more, causing another long-lasting silence. He could feel his own heavy breathing. His fists finding themselves clenched tightly in balls. The droplets of sweat lightly dusting along the top of his forehead. He had to calm down, to find a resolution. He took a deep sigh, relaxed his shoulders and unclenched his fists.
"The school won't run without you." Rachel gave him a sympathetic smile, and she held onto her handbag a little tighter. Clearing her throat, she made a mental note of how she would respond, but it was too late. Eddie had already spoken.
"I can't do this without you, Rachel." And just like that, he got her heart. Rachel bowed her head, and it wasn't shame but rather to hide herself from him. The pools of her eyes glazing over with fresh tears as she desperately pleaded with herself hoping they wouldn't fall.
"Please?", Eddie whispered. She could sense him edging closer, and in that moment she didn't care about boundaries, or what was right. He did something to her, that no other man could. She brought her eyes to his and his heart sank at her sadness. Without thinking, he lifted his hand to caress her face. His warm, gentle touch giving her feelings that she didn't even knew existed. Eddie lightly brushed his thumb across her cheek and sensed her body relax at his touch.
This is what he wanted. This was his happiness. This was Rachel, and she was never an option. This was not up for debate. She was his.
"I must tell you-"
