DILAN'S P.O.V.

It had been another week in the infirmary before Hanji deemed her fit to resume normal activities, if she took it easy on the training. The stitches in her stomach were removed a few days ago and the wound was healing nicely, she just had to be sure it didn't get infected. Her ribs were still sore but thankfully they weren't as broken as last time. Only two ribs were damaged, and they were just small fractures. Still hurt like a bitch to lean over though. But that wasn't what was important. She was finally free from the infirmary and she couldn't be happier. It was so boring, and stuffy and she hadn't been more restless in her life. Yes, her friends visited but she wanted to get moving.

Things were still hard this last week in terms of dealing with the trauma. She kept having nightmares, but they did ease up a bit after her talk with Levi. He was an oddly relaxing person to be around once you get past his attitude. Still, he hadn't visited again since they talked. Perhaps he wanted to pretend it didn't happen. That was fine with her really. It was just enough that he listened to her in the first place. It really did help. Not that she planned on telling the others. It was too complicated. She didn't want the pity that she would inevitably get from them. The good thing was that the only other people who knew the kind of place she was found in and had assumptions on what she'd been through was Mike, Hanji and Erwin. Mike didn't talk and Dilan doubt he would bring it up. Dilan saw a little pity in his eyes last time they spoke but as long as it was only a little, they wouldn't have any problems. Hanji knew but thankfully hadn't brought it up since she'd given the pills. The woman was still crazy and didn't treat her any different. Erwin on the other hand... she didn't like Erwin knowing. He didn't want him to have dirt on her. He was her worst enemy after all. Although there wasn't much, she could do about him. He knew and that was final.

She didn't have time to dwell on it now though. She was up, dressed in uniform, hair tied up and just about ready to leave. But she felt like she was forgetting something...

Dilan looked around her until a silver flash caught her eye and she sighed in relief. It felt like something was missing. Dilan strode over to the bedside table and put on her silver necklace, smoothing her thumb over it gently and smiling. It was all she had left of her brother and she never took it off. Except to shower. She didn't want it getting rusty. The necklace was something her brother had lifted in the street and gave to her on her 13th birthday. It was a sliver chain with a small silver crescent moon. At the top of the moon was a blue Safire gem. It truly was beautiful and the most amazing gift she was ever given. It hurt to look at but... it was a good hurt. She never wanted to forget her brother, even if it pained her to remember him.

"Ah, Dil! Are you ready?" Hanji asked as she came through the infirmary doors, ready to start her day. Dilan smiled back and nodded, walking towards her.

"Thanks for all the help, Hanji. I really appreciate it." Dilan said sincerely. Hanji squealed, pinching her cheeks.

"Dil you are the cutest!" She exclaimed. Dilan laughed and rolled her eyes. The woman was batshit insane. "But I'll always be here if you need a break." Hanji added, seriously but kindly. Dilan smiled and nodded before opening the door and heading towards the mess hall. Tabitha told her to meet her there today.

As soon as Dilan got in the mess hall, all eyes fell on her and silence erupted. Of course. She forgot the corps still hated her. It was rather amusing after everything she's done for them but oh well. She could handle a few pairs of eyes.

Dilan ignored them as she walked towards the front and grabbed an apple, supressing a smirk as the whispers started.

"Only an animal could come back from a month of torture." One random bastard whispered.

"Why did the corps even save her?"

"Yeah she was finally back where she belonged. Back in the dirt." Another hissed. Dilan rolled her eyes as she grabbed a roll too and caught the eyes of Tabitha who looked ready to murder everyone and everything. Dilan shook her head and she backed down a bit. Although it seemed her work was cut out for her. The whole squad was glaring at the whisperers. Even Levi had a sour expression on his face, although that might just be his normal expression. Seemed the more likely story.

Dilan grabbed a water and turned to walk to the table but stumbled back as she bumped into someone standing really close behind her. Dilan gulped as she looked up into the glaring eyes as one of the rather large cadets. Her pulse rose significantly but she kept a bored face analysing whether this guy was a threat. His arms were crossed, and his muscles were tensed. He was too scared to try anything with her, he just wanted to show off to his friends and try and pull a reaction out of her. Just because she had issues, didn't mean she was going to let him have the satisfaction.

"Oh, my apologies, good sir! I didn't see you brooding there." She quipped, walking around him before he could retort. Dilan smirked, feeling the glares on her back and sat down at the table. Apparently, they had heard her as they were all laughing into their arms, trying not to cause a scene. Mike was simply smiling while he drank his coffee and Levi smirked a bit before he wiped the amusement off of his face.

"Dilan... I fucking miss you..." Brand choked out between quiet laughs. Dilan smiled, biting into her apple.

"Man, life was dull without underground girl. Still, they are all being grade A dicks. Are you okay?" Tabitha asked. Dilan nodded.

"Fine." She smiled. Her heartrate was still slightly elevated, but she was okay. Besides Tabitha was on her right, Levi was in front of her and she was at the end of the table.

"Good." Tabitha smiled back, ruffling her hair a bit.

"Yeah, it's great to have you back, Dilan." Toby said kindly and the others smiled in agreement. Dilan nodded her thanks. It was great to be back.

"Agreed, however I don't expect any slacking. Understood?" Mike said sternly but not unkindly. Dilan grinned, glad the blonde was treating her any different.

"Understood, sir." She replied happily. He nodded in approval. The whispers were still going around and people were still looking at her, but breakfast carried on as usual. Until apparently something happened that Dilan hadn't caught since she had spaced out. When she tuned back in the squad was glaring at something behind her. "What's..." She was about to ask when someone poked her on the shoulder, and she tensed.

"You better back off pal." Tabitha snarled, slapping the hand away from her. Dilan wasn't sure if she should turn around or not. She might lose her cool.

"Why? I want to talk to the slut." His low voice replied, and Dilan clenched her bandaged hands. She had never been called that before. Not by the corps anyway. They preferred scum and dirt and trash. Not slut. Why now? Maybe the guy was just trying to egg her.

"Cadet, I suggest you sit down." Mike warned.

"Respectfully sir, I don't see what harm I'm doing. I just want to have a chat with one of my comrades. Wanted to ask her if she enjoyed it. Was the torture fun for an animal like you, slut?" He hissed, leaning closer to her. Dilan's eyes widened and she looked over to Levi. Did he tell someone? Levi seemed to look half shocked half angry and was glaring at the bastard behind her. She still hadn't turned around.

"What are you talking about? Just fuck off." Johnson snapped, surprising Dilan a bit. She didn't think the guy had it in him. Dilan heard a low chuckle that made her pulse speed up a bit. The guy was too close. Too close. Too close.

"The slut didn't tell you?" He said mockingly.

"Look asshole-" Brand started but the guy cut him off.

"She didn't tell you during her capture she was fucked silly. I bet the animal enjoyed it." He laughed putting a hand on her shoulder and Dilan's eyes widened as something snapped.

"Dilan-" Levi warned but it was too late. Dilan had already stood on her seat, turned to face the bastard and kicked him in the side of the head sending him to the ground with a splutter as blood spilled down his chin. Dilan had absolutely lost it.

"Enjoyed it? Fucking enjoyed it?!" She yelled, walking towards him. The man's eyes were wide as he tried to army crawl away from her. "You fucking idiot. You seem to have forgotten the number one rule. Don't fucking touch me!" She hissed, stomping on the man's leg and enjoying the snap of bone breaking. She ignored the gasps around her and the squad telling her to stop. "You fucking enjoy that?!" She snarled.

"AGH! STOP!" He screamed. Dilan ignored him, kicking him in the face before crouching down to him.

"Imagine that pain 100 times over and you might get close to how I felt." She hissed quietly about to punch the broken man again before suddenly there were arms around her, and she was being dragged out of the mess hall. "Fucking get off!" She screamed as she was hauled out into the open.

"Calm down." Levi ordered sternly. Dilan couldn't breathe.

"L-let go." She whispered weakly. She felt like she was going to pass out. The world was spinning as flash backs flooded her mind and she whimpered pathetically, closing her eyes, the fight draining out of her.

"Shit." Levi muttered under his breath, picking her up as her body fell limp and moving her over to one of the benches. Thankfully no one had followed them, and they were alone. Once Levi put her down, he took a good three steps away. Dilan was really appreciating the distance. Dilan was breathing heavily as she hugged her knees to her chest and blinked back the tears. She didn't want to cry in front of Levi again. How embarrassing.

"H-how did h-he know?" Dilan spat, looking over at Levi with pained orange eyes. Levi sighed and raked a hand through his hair. He was angry, she could see it. She wasn't sure if he was angry at her though.

"I don't know. He shouldn't have." Levi mumbled, thinking it through. Dilan was still trying and failing to calm down.

"Did you tell anyone?" she accused; a bit harsher than intended. Levi gave her a look.

"I said I wouldn't, brat." He retorted. Dilan glared at him.

"Okay so he's just amazing at guessing huh!? How the hell did he know?!" She hissed. Levi frowned slightly.

"Take some time and fucking sort your act together. What happened to the whole trusting me thing? Bunch of bullshit, clearly." Levi spat, walking away before she could retort. Dilan growled at his back, managing to pick herself up. She needed to get out of here before the squad came looking for her. She didn't want to talk to them right now. Dilan pulled herself deep into the forest and leant behind a tree as she tried to calm down. She was glad to be alone. She wondered whether the squad hated her again. Maybe they didn't think she was worth their time anymore. She had behaved like an animal after all. She probably would have killed him had Levi not intervened.

Did Levi tell someone? It didn't seem like something he would do but then again, he was the only one who she had told the details to specifically. Other than Hanji, the others just knew she was kept with the other sex slaves. Didn't mean she was used as one. But why would Erwin or Mike tell someone that anyway? It didn't make any sense. Was the guy just actually really good at guessing?

"Ugh, I'm such a mess." Dilan groaned, rubbing her face. She had been here a few hours now. Thankfully no one had found her. Perhaps they weren't looking. She wouldn't be surprised. "God, Dil. Don't have an episode now." She mumbled to herself, but she could feel herself slipping anyway. Dilan bit her lip knowing there was only one way to stop them. She hadn't done that in a long time though. Shit. I can't do that. I worked so hard to stop. Dilan looked at her blade and tried to resist. But she was a weak fuck.

Dilan blinked out a tear as she checked she was alone before rolling up her pant leg. She looked down at the previous scars from her cutting, ghosting her fingers over them. She was so fucking broken. Dilan supressed a shiver as she placed the cold metal of the blade over a patch of skin. She was about to press down when a yell interrupted her, and she flinched.

"DILAN!" Tabitha's worried voice sounded from somewhere.

"Dilan! Please come out!" Toby added.

"WE'RE NOT MAD!" Brand yelled.

"Come on Dil! We've looked for you everywhere!" Johnson called, sounding tired. Had they really been looking for her all this time? She was rather deep in the forest. It was a lot of land to cover. Dilan wiped her face and pulled down her trouser leg, unbelieving that she was about to do that again. Guess old habits die hard.

"DILAN! COME OUT NOW OR I'LL SMACK YOU!" Tabitha threatened and Dilan smiled a bit, despite herself.

"TAB'S SHE'S NOT GOING TO COME OUT TO THAT!" Brand scolded.

"SHE WONT SMACK YOU DIL, PROMISE!" Toby corrected.

"THE HELL I WONT. I'M PISSED. MY LEGS HURT." She yelled. Dilan chuckled, standing up. She wanted to go to them, but something stopped her. The deep feeling of dread. What if... they couldn't get over this. They'll discover she's a monster soon enough. She couldn't see them right now. She needed to escape.

"But I'll always be here if you need a break." Hanji added, seriously but kindly.

Dilan nodded decisively, trying to ignore her uneven breathing as she ran towards the infirmary away from the others. It took longer than it would have done, had she been in sound body and mind, but she made it there and leant on the wall tiredly as she knocked on the iron door. She sniffed and wiped away her teary eyes with the back of her hand. God she was pathetic. There was an excited yell of 'one minute!' before the door was ripped open and Dilan blinked sleepily as she was met with Hanji's face. She gasped when she saw her. Dilan wasn't surprised. It would be a miracle if she didn't hear what happened.

"Dil, baby, you look like shit." Hanji said. Dilan cracked a smirk.

"I bet I do." She mumbled. Hanji smiled sympathetically.

"Come on then, honey." She said kindly putting an arm around Dilan's shoulder and rubbing her arm comfortingly as she led them instead. Dilan relaxed a bit. This place had been her home for the last 2 weeks. She felt comfortable here and Hanji had become something of a parental figure to her. Hanji took her to the lab part of the complex which confused Dilan for a bit until she released the guy she attacked was probably recovering in the infirmary. Whoops. My bad. "Tell me what happened." Hanji smiled, sitting her down on a stool before pulling another one out and sitting opposite her. Dilan frowned slightly grabbing a knife that was randomly on the table mixed in with numerous other odd items Hanji no doubt used for her experiments and twiddled it round in her hands.

"You know what happened." Dilan mumbled. Hanji smiled.

"Yes, but I want you to tell me." Hanji repeated. Dilan sighed. The bitch was going to make this hard for her wasn't she. Dilan wasn't good at feelings.

"I fucked up." She sighed. Hanji looked at her expectantly to elaborate. "I don't know Hanji, I just, I just snapped. Then I snapped his leg." She hissed, gripping the handle of the knife tightly. Hanji hesitated before gently prying the weapon from her fingers and putting it back on the table. Dilan groaned and rubbed her face. Everything was a mess.

"Why did you attack him?" She asked softly. Dilan blinked. She didn't know?

"I thought news would have gotten around here at some point." She shrugged. Hanji hummed in thought.

"Yeah well shorty came around here, asking if I told anyone about what happened to you a while after Nile was brought in. He was pissed to say the least." Hanji explained. Dilan's eyes widened a fraction and guilt formed in her stomach. Levi wouldn't waste time going around trying to find the leak if he was the leak. And she accused him! She accused the guy that was nice enough to listen to her fucked up self. God, why am I such a bitch?

"Yeah I may have done that." She sighed, leaning her head on her elbow. Hanji quirked an eyebrow.

"Nah, he was pissed at Nile. He was fucking livid. I had to stop him from killing the kid in his sleep." Hanji explained. Dilan's face twisted in guilt and she groaned again. Such a fucking bitch. "Dilan what happened?" She asked sternly. Dilan sighed.

"Nile, apparently that's his name, came up to me at breakfast. He egged me on, and I fell for it. somehow, he knew what happened to me. How... they treated me in that place. Accused me of enjoying it because I'm an 'animal'. And I fucking snapped." She sighed, using air quotations for animal. Dilan watched with confusion as Hanji's eyes widened and her face twisted with both guilt and anger. She sprung off her chair and started pacing the room while rambling.

"Such a fucking idiot, Hanji. How could you be so stupid?! Lock the door, you're always supposed to look the door. There are procedures for these things you idiot. My god, what have I done? I am the worst doctor in the world, I hurt sweet little dil. But that fucking asshole, I'm going to kill him!" Hanji ranted to herself before lunging at the infirmary. Dilan's eyes widened and she grabbed her friend holding her back.

"Hanji! Fucking calm down! What the hell is going on!?" Dilan yelled, restraining the crazy shit and forcing her back onto the chair. Hanji sniffed as tears filled her eyes.

"Dilan, it was me! It was my fault! I forgot to lock the door when I was talking to you. Our conversation about the pills... when I left to give you space... the door was slightly open and Nile was at the entrance. He was delivering something from Erwin. He must have heard. Dilan I'm so sorry! I'm the leak!" She cried. Dilan's eyes widened slightly, and she took a step back. So, he heard... everything? Even the part about her potentially being pregnant? Shit. "Dilan I-" Hanji tried but Dilan had already run out of the infirmary. Who did he tell? Did everyone know? Fuck.

Dilan took a breather, clenching her fists together to stop them from shaking. She ran back out into the forest, deep into the forest. So deep, by the time she stopped for air the sun was setting around her.

"Why is life so fucking hard!" She yelled at no one, dropping to her knees as the adrenaline wore off and the fatigue kicked in; she had run for a good 2 hours. Dilan breathed heavily as she leant back against a tree and closed her eyes. A nap would do her good she decided.


Dilan got back to the compound well into the night. The sky was dark, and the headquarters were quiet. People had been sleeping for a while. Dilan didn't know how long she had been asleep for, but it must have been a good few hours. It took her 3 hours to walk back. Didn't feel like running. Her legs felt like jelly and she just wanted to pass out and give up. She was so fucking pathetic it was almost funny. Her ribs were killing her too. Light exercise, Dilan. Do you know what light means? Note to self don't run a fucking marathon with fractures.

Dilan rolled her eyes at herself as she trudged through the empty hallways, hoping no one caught her. It was way past curfew, but she didn't give two shits. Dilan wanted to go apologise to Levi. She had been feeling guilty all day, but she knew he was probably asleep right now. She would apologise in the morning and hope he doesn't hold it against her. Dilan wouldn't blame him if he did though. She had acted like a complete bitch.

Sighing, Dilan was about to head to the girl's dorms but stopped herself. She didn't want to go back there. She felt so alone and would probably end up sleeping in the corner of the floor by herself again. If she was going to sleep on the floor, she would rather do it on the roof. And then she could watch the stairs for a while at least. Rubbing her eyes tiredly she made it up the long flight of stairs and out into the open air, fully prepared to collapse onto the floor but stopped herself, blinking. There was another person out here. It took her a full 5 seconds to realise It was Levi. He was laying on the floor, on top of a jacket of course, clean freak, with his arms behind his head looking up at the stars. He was in casual clothes which Dilan hadn't seen him in before. simple black pants and a white V-neck shirt. She wasn't surprised. It's not like Levi was ever going to wear colour.

He didn't move but Dilan knew he'd noticed her. And he wasn't asleep. Clearly, he was pissed, and Dilan couldn't blame him. She sighed and got closer, sitting down a meter away from him. There was silence and Dilan looked up at the stairs wondering how to apologise. She was surprised when Levi spoke first.

"This wasn't your spot first, you know. I've been coming here for years." Levi mused, watching the sky. Dilan blinked, noticing he had never looked more relaxed. Guess he found the sky as peaceful as her.

"Well it's a good spot." She replied softly. Levi hummed in agreement. She bit at her lip nervously deciding just to come out and say it. "Levi, I'm sorry. I was a complete bitch and I should have trusted you. I know you would never tell anyone he just... he messed with my head and I snapped. I wasn't myself and that's no excuse but it's all I have. Do you think um... maybe... you could forgive me?" Dilan mumbled the last part, trying not to crack under his intense gaze as he turned his head to glare at her. He really was the most intimidating person she had ever met. And that was coming from her. There was a long stretch of silence were he just glared at her and Dilan honestly felt the sweat dripping down the back of her neck as she forced herself to keep his gaze.

"You look like shit." Levi replied finally, turning his head back to the sky. Dilan gave him an exasperated look but guessed he didn't hate her? The man was complicated. She sighed dramatically and laid back on the floor.

"Bastard. Yeah well you would too if you did laps round a forest the whole day. Except you probably wouldn't... fucking clean freak." She mumbled the last bit and saw Levi smirk out of the corner of her eye.

"That's where you were then. People were looking for you." He commented. Dilan sighed.

"I know." She replied. Levi raised an eyebrow at her, and she glared at him. "We've gone over this. I was a complete bitch today." She snapped. Levi rolled his eyes.

"Yeah well you're not wrong... but that asshole had it coming. I probably could have been less of a dick after so... I'm sorry too." Levi apologised. Dilan groaned, earning herself a confused glance.

"Don't apologise, you'll just make me feel like more of a bitch. I know you tried to find the leak, even a few I accused you like an idiot. I'm such a fucking brat." She whined. Her eyes widened as she heard a small chuckle and snapped her head round. "Levi did you just laugh?" She asked, exasperated. She may have imagined it. She was completely dehydrated and exhausted and the man looked neutral as ever.

"No." He replied. Dilan sat up a bit to look at him, cracking a smirk.

"You so did. I made you laugh!" She grinned, like it was the greatest accomplishment ever. In all fairness to her, it was a big deal. Levi glared at her and she knew he had him.

"You didn't." He snapped. Dilan smiled and shuffled a bit closer to poke the indent between his furrowed brows where he was frowning at her.

"I did. You're not so grumpy after all are you, sir?" She teased. Levi frowned deeper and slapped her hand away, sitting up too.

"You are so annoying." He hissed. Dilan shrugged with a smile, hugging her knees.

"I know. My brother used to say it was because I enjoyed people's reactions." She mused. Levi's expression softened ever so slightly; the way Dilan noticed it always did when she talked about her past.

"Your brother... he was the one you lost?" Levi questioned, carefully. Dilan sighed, she wasn't panicking, she was just sad.

"Yes. He was taken and killed by a fucking asshole." Dilan frowned. It's not like she was going to give Levi the specifics, but she wanted to prove that she wasn't lying. She did trust him. Levi nodded.

"I can relate." He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. Dilan raised an eyebrow wondering if he would tell her.

"Can I ask why?" She asked, hesitantly, observing his reaction. She saw a bit of tensing in his shoulders before he relaxed again.

"I had two friends... let's just say they were killed thanks to an asshole too." He replied vaguely but it was still an answer. Dilan smiled sadly in understanding. Must be why he is how he is. Losing them must have distanced him from others. She could relate to that too. Dilan still wondered if he knew her brother but decided not to push her luck for today. They had both opened up a bit, no need to open the whole damn. Baby steps. It was unlikely they had met after all. Dilan wondered just how many criminals Erwin had brought up from the underground for his own personal amusement.

"Assholes are the worst." She sighed, laying back down. Levi smirked a bit and did the same.

"Agreed." Dilan smiled and there was silence for a bit. "The cadet you fucked up's going to make it by the way." Levi said out of nowhere. Dilan frowned slightly. Was it mean to say she wished he would die? Perhaps a little mean.

"Hm. How much shit am I in with Erwin?" She asked. She heard a sigh.

"You were in a lot of shit. Me and Hanji talked him down, explained the situation. Mike testified that you kept your cool until he touched you." Levi replied and Dilan's eyes widened slightly.

"You all defended me, again?!" She exclaimed. Levi looked half amused; half annoyed at her outburst.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Keep your voice down. Want to wake the entire corps?" Levi mocked. Dilan scrunched up her nose in irritation but didn't argue.

"Levi, you need to stop doing that..." She said eventually, looking down at her hands. Levi turned his head.

"Doing what?" Levi asked. Dilan sighed, turning her amber eyes to meet his grey.

"Helping me. I'm causing too much trouble. As much as I appreciate it... and you don't know how much I appreciate it... I don't want to jeopardise your position here. Or Hanji's or Mikes. I got myself into that shit, I should have been the one to accept the consequences. You already went against Erwin for the personal evaluation... I just feel like I'm doing more bad than good-" Dilan started to spiral and ramble until Levi cut her off.

"Hey, brat. Take a breather." He interrupted. Dilan swallowed down the rest of her words and took a breath, as instructed. "Look, your fucking annoying, I'll give you that. But you've done good here. You can keep doing good here. I have your back and I will continue to fight for you since your apart of my team now. I just need you to do something for me." Levi said seriously. Dilan looked at him and nodded. She would do anything to make it up to him. "I need you to care, Dilan. Start caring about your life. You've only got one and your brother wouldn't want you to waste it." Levi said simply, looking back up at the stars.

Dilan blinked in surprise. Well she didn't expect that. Could she really do it? Start caring again? If anything after recent events she cared less. But was Levi, right? Would her brother be mad at her for being so careless when he worked so hard to keep them both alive? Was she disappointing him? Dilan looked up at the sky, a rogue tear slipping down her cheek.

"I'll try." She whispered. "I promise to try." She said firmly, determination burning in her orange eyes. Levi smiled briefly out of the corner of her eye before he looked up again.

"Good."

Another while passed with neither saying anything. They simply just watched the stars and enjoyed each other's company.

"You were gone for a while. Were you okay?" Levi said softly out of nowhere. Dilan turned to see him already looking at her. She took a moment to understand the question.

"Okay?" She asked, twisting onto her side so she was more comfortable and leant her head on her arm. Levi rolled his eyes slightly.

"Yeah, idiot. The bastard may have paid for it, but he said some pretty shit stuff before. I'm asking you if you're okay?" He spelt it out slowly. Despite the patronising tone, there was worry in his eyes. It brought a small smile out of her before she sighed.

"Honestly, it fucked with me. There were a lot of reasons why. I wasn't sure how he found out and he was too fucking close and then what he said. God, I felt like I was going to throw up. I just snapped. I just don't understand... how could he possibly think I enjoyed it. How could anyone think that? Do they think I'm that fucked up in the head just because I'm from the underground?" She vented. Levi frowned slightly, obviously agreeing with her.

"I looked at his file. He's a privileged fuck whose lived on the surface his entire life. Inner wall shit. Transfer in from the MP's a month ago because he was caught selling equipment. Hasn't even seen the titans yet. He won't last long. He's just an asshole that behaves like a dick because he wants his to be bigger. Don't listen to him." Levi comforted. Dilan smiled weakly.

"But it wasn't just him, Levi. They all agreed with him. They thought I was trash before. Now I'm the slut that likes to be raped." She chuckled humourlessly, a pain in her heart she knew would never heal. Levi took a moment, probably trying to figure out what to say. Dilan felt guilty for unloading all of this onto him.

"I thought you didn't care what people thought of you." He replied finally. Dilan smiled a bit, looking at the sky.

"We all like to think that, don't we? We try to ignore the looks, the rumours, the whispers but deep down it will always affect you. It's simple biology. Humans have the psychological need to be liked. To be accepted. I can fucking hate humans all I want but my own brain turns against me." She sighed. Levi scoffed.

"Biology can fuck off. I don't give a fuck what they think. They're all idiots anyway." He said stubbornly. Dilan smiled at him.

"Yes, well of course you're the acceptation to the rule. Psychopaths always are." She teased. Levi glared at her.

"If anyone on this roof is the psychopath, it's you brat. You have a crazy alter ego, don't deny it." He hissed. Dilan chuckled.

"Probably right. You have one too though, you can't deny it either." She shot back. Levi rolled his eyes.

"So, we're both psychopaths?" He said dryly. Dilan laughed a bit.

"Seems like it. You really never cared then? Or were they different to you at the beginning?" Dilan asked, curiously. Levi sighed.

"Oh, no. They were shit-bags. Like the asshole I was to you. Course, I intimidated the hell out of them, so they didn't talk to me, but they watched. I'll admit it pissed me off. They watched me like I was some sort of animal in a zoo." He scoffed, a frown of annoyance on his face.

"What happened?" She asked. Something must have or they would still be treating him the same way.

"The expedition happened. Death rates were so high... those who made it back were either quick to transfer, didn't care, or too scared to muster the energy. My background was forgotten quickly. Only a few know the truth now. Mike, Hanji, Erwin and a couple of the older veterans. But they don't give two shits." Levi replied honestly. Dilan nodded slowly.

"So, what you're saying is... I should go on a killing spree and snap the neck of everyone who knows where I come from." Dilan replied with a straight face. Levi looked back at her. There was silence for a bit.

"I honestly can't tell if you're joking." Levi deadpanned. Dilan cracked a smile and punched him playfully on the arm.

"Ass. Course I'm joking. I don't kill the innocent." She rolled her eyes. Levi looked at her curiously.

"I remember you saying that to Kenny. Never?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Dilan shook her head.

"Nah. Everyone I've killed had it coming. I researched them before taking the job. Don't have it in me." She said truthfully. Levi nodded in understanding.

"I can respect that I guess. I'm not so lucky with my ledger." He mumbled the last bit. Dilan raised an eyebrow.

"Who did you kill?" She asked curiously. A bit of pain flashed through Levi's eyes before he pushed it away.

"Story for another time, brat." Levi sighed; exhaustion clear on his face. Dilan nodded in understanding. She wondered if he had stayed up here this long because of her.

"You should go back and get some sleep." She suggested. He looked so tired. Levi smirked a bit, closing his eyes.

"Wish I could." He sighed. Dilan frowned a bit before realisation filled her face.

"Insomnia?" She asked. Levi nodded. It must be why he was out here so late. "Doesn't sound fun. My brother used to know someone with insomnia. A friend." She mused. Levi glanced at her.

"Did he figure out how to get it to fuck off? I could use some pointers." Levi asked. Dilan smiled apologetically.

"Sorry. If he did, I'll never know. My brother died and that was my link to them gone. I was never allowed to meet my brother friends." Dilan sighed, frowning with a bit of annoyance. Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Why?" He asked. Dilan shrugged.

"Guess he wanted to keep me safe. He said he trusted them, but I was too important to risk getting caught up in what they were doing." She explained, absentmindedly playing with the chain around her neck. Levi nodded a bit.

"Older brother then?" Dilan nodded. "Makes sense. Probably a good idea. You must have been young." He commented. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"I was 15 thank you. But I started lifting when I was 7." She said proudly with a smirk. Levi smirked back.

"Started lifting when I was 4. Held my first knife at 5. The rest is history." He said smugly. Dilan narrowed her eyes at him.

"Cocky bastard." She huffed. Levi let out a puff of amusement. "You know most people would say what we're talking about is really sad." She laughed lightly. Levi let out another very small chuckle that Dilan chose to ignore this time.

"Yeah well those people are idiots. They'll die quicker than us." He shrugged. Dilan smirked.

"Depends. We've only got 20 years left. The pact, remember?" Dilan pointed out. Levi smiled a bit.

"Ah yes. The death pact." He replied casually and Dilan laughed. There was silence for a bit and Dilan smiled subconsciously thinking about how easy it was to talk to him now. Dilan was actually enjoying the bastard's company. How times change.

"Did Hanji tell you she was the leak then?" Dilan asked. Levi nodded.

"Before we talked to Erwin. She was fucking hysterical. Didn't even give me a chance to tell her what an idiot she was." Levi sighed. "You pissed at her?" Levi asked. Dilan thought about it for a moment.

"At first, maybe a bit. But she didn't mean to. It was an easy mistake to make and it was the Nile fuckers fault for eavesdropping, I'll talk to her tomorrow." She said simply. Levi nodded in approval. Dilan tensed slightly as she remembered something. "He knows more..." She started quietly. "He knows..." Dilan tried but couldn't force the words out.

"About the pills?" Levi finished for her. Dilan bit her lip but nodded anyway.

"Hanji told you." Dilan said, more of a statement than a question but Levi nodded anyway.

"Mentioned it somewhere in her rambling but I knew she would give them to you before. It made sense that she would, my mum used to take similar pills. Fucked up her mental health since they were dodgy, but they got the job done." Levi explained, a distant expression on his face.

"Sucks that she had to take them. Sucks that she had to do that." Dilan mumbled. Levi hummed in agreement. "She must have loved you." Dilan added kindly. Levi gave her a small rare smile.

"She did." He replied briefly and Dilan knew that was the end of that conversation. Fair enough though. He dropped things when she wanted them too.

"He's going to tell everyone, if he hasn't already." She whispered staring at the sky. "Not that I give too many shits about the corps... but I really didn't want the squad to know. They're good people but they'll treat me differently. But it's probably too late for that." She chuckled humourlessly. It's not like she could say Nile was lying. She properly freaked out showing them Nile was being truthful.

"Probably." Levi replied simply. Dilan chuckled a bit. Blunt bastard. Levi sat up and looked down at her. "Go on then. We have a few hours until first call. Get some sleep, brat." He ordered, standing and collecting his jacket. Dilan sat up, looking at him wipe the invisible dirt off his jacket

"Will you try to sleep too?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Levi gave her a look before rolling his eyes.

"Yes, stupid. Now get down there before I kick your ass down there myself." He threatened, his sliver eyes glistening with promise in the moonlight. Guess nice Levi is gone again. Dilan thought with a chuckle as she stood herself up. the exhaustion hit her full force and she stumbled a bit, about to fall over before Levi steadied her. She blinked up at him and his close proximity. She wasn't scared... not exactly. Although Levi must have interpreted it for fear since as soon as he was sure she wasn't about to stack it he took a few steps back, an awkward look of apology on his face. Dilan smiled to ease his concern.

"I'm fine, Levi. I told you I trust you." She reminded. A bit of relief crossed his face before he narrowed his eyes.

"You freaked out this morning." He pointed out. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"One, I told you I wasn't in control. Two, I didn't fucking know it was you until you told me to calm down." Dilan pointed out, glaring at him. Levi cringed slightly and it made her laugh. "Look, the traumas still pretty fresh and I have a hard time being near guys but like I said, I trust you. I just need a bit more time..." she trailed off, biting at her lip. Would she ever really get over it? Unlikely.

"Don't try and heal before your ready. That would make you as stupid as you look." Levi crossed his arms, pulling her from her dark thoughts. Dilan cracked a grateful smile, ignoring the insult. She was starting to get him. One of the regular things he does; put's an insult on the end of something nice he has to say to avoid getting in touch with his feelings. Dilan should know. She did the same thing.

"Thanks... for everything, dumbass." She added, sending him a cheeky smile. Levi glared at her and she laughed as they both headed down the stairs, sparing each other a goodbye glance before parting ways. Dilan sighed in relief as she entered her room and flopped down on her bed. She felt relaxed enough to get some sleep. Her head was definitely lighter than when she went up on the roof. She wondered if they were friends yet. She was telling him things that she wouldn't tell anyone else. Was that what a friend was? She had never really had a proper, proper friend. She had never had anyone who she could talk to everything about and know they won't judge her. It was refreshing and she found herself liking it a bit too much. Maybe being friends with the violent man wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. And with that funny but pleasant thought, Dilan slipped into her pyjamas and drifted to sleep.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

Levi glanced back at Dilan after they part ways seeing her disappear around a corner. He sighed and continued on his course. It was getting dangerous with her. She was currently the closest thing to a friend that he had. He promised himself it wouldn't happen, but it was starting to. He hated to admit it, but they had a lot in common. She was easy to talk to and he found himself opening up in ways he hadn't done since Izzy and Farlan were around. What the fuck was he doing? Sure, the girl was funny and actually kind of nice to be around, but he didn't have friends. There was a reason for that.

And yet, he practically sought her out. He wasn't lying about the fact that he came up there a lot. Mostly when his insomnia was shitty. But tonight, he came, knowing the brat would probably turn up eventually. She had been missing all day and he couldn't deny he was worried. He felt like shit for treating her so harshly then leaving her alone. If he was her, he probably would have accused him too. He shouldn't have gotten so pissed about it. She was in the middle of a panic attack for fucks sake. She wasn't in her right mind and he should have seen that. But he didn't. He left her and then when he came to his senses an hour later and looked around for her, she was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, the squad had searched all day. Tabitha had asked if they should get a search party out for her, but Levi shook his head. Dilan had just needed some time. Besides, after the stunt she just pulled in the mess hall, he wasn't sure how many volunteers they would get. Cadets were fucking dicks.

Getting Erwin to drop the punishments he had lined up for her was hard. The man was clearly looking for a reason to keep Dilan on and Levi was praying that the next expedition would come up soon so she could show off again. As long as she followed orders and didn't risk her life so carelessly, she could prove her worth. Hanji was determined to take all of the blame for the incident though. She felt so guilty, Levi didn't see the point in being pissed at her. She was torturing herself. So, he was glad when Dilan said she would forgive her. Hanji was just a scatterbrain. It was Nile who fucked up. They managed to get the punishments dropped and Levi was proud that Nile got stable duty for harassing another comrade, once he could stand again of course. The brat had snapped his bone in half. It was equally impressive as it was terrifying. The girl had too much strength for her tiny frame. Levi just didn't see where she kept all her muscle. Guess she's just supernatural.

Levi sighed as he entered his room, about to get in his bed and force his brain to shut down for a few hours when he remembered part of their conversation.

"He knows more..." She started quietly. "He knows..." Dilan tried but couldn't force the words out.

"About the pills?" Levi finished for her. Dilan bit her lip but nodded anyway.

"He's going to tell everyone, if he hasn't already." She whispered staring at the sky. "Not that I give too many shits about the corps... but I really didn't want the squad to know. Their good people but they'll treat me differently. But it's probably too late for that." She chuckled humourlessly.

Levi groaned quietly and rubbed his face. This whole loyalty thing really blows. Levi thought with an eyeroll, leaving his room again.


It didn't take long to get down to the infirmary. He knew the guard's schedules, so it was easy to move about without being notices. He picked the lock to the infirmary and entered the dark space, closing the door behind him. Levi hoped he was awake. Having to wake him up would be a drag.

"W-who's there!?" Nile's panicked; pained voice sounded. Levi smirked. Perfect.

He stepped forward, out of the darkness and into the moonlight from the window. Levi ignored the surprised looks from Nile and walked over to him, not missing a beat. He was stuttering something unintelligible but that stopped immediately after Levi placed the cool steel of the blade under his neck. The man looked like he was about to pass out. How amusing.

"What do you want?" Nile squeaked in an unnaturally high voice.

"Two things. First tell me who you told." Levi ordered. Nile gulped slowly.

"T-told what?" He stuttered quietly. Levi was not impressed.

"About Dilan, you moron." He clarified and Nile frowned, clearly forgetting his vulnerable position.

"You mean how the slut was fucked?" He scoffed and Levi had to remind himself to stay calm. That didn't stop him from glaring at the bastard and putting pressure on his swollen leg causing Nile to choke out a cry and pale significantly.

"No, you, sick fuck. I mean how Dilan was raped. Who did you tell?" He growled. Thankfully Nile wasn't talking that loud in the mess hall. Only the squad heard what he said. As long as the fucker didn't tell anyone else, there was a way to contain this. Nile started to sweat.

"N-no one yet." He stuttered. Levi gave him a look and threatened to push his leg again. Nile flinched. "I promise, it's true! I-I was going to blackmail her." He mumbled, avoiding Levi's death glare.

"Blackmail into what?" Levi snarled. He was inches away from slitting this bastards throat.

"Blackmail into leaving! She doesn't belong her!" His voice broke when Levi pressed down slightly on his throat. Not enough to cut him but enough for him to shut the fuck up.

"Now listen up you pathetic privileged fuck." Levi spat and Nile's eyes widened in fear. "If you tell another soul about anything you heard about Dilan, I will kill you. If you tell anyone about this conversation, I will kill you. I will make it slow and painful and you will beg for mercy like the pathetic little rat you are. Understand?" Levi said in a low voice that made Nile tremble and he nodded quickly. "You're going to stay away from Dilan. I catch you even looking at her and I will beat your ass. I keep to my promises and I keep to my threats. Are we completely clear?" Levi hissed; eyes narrowed dangerously. Nile nodded again quickly. Levi smirked. "Good. So, what are you going to do?" He encouraged. Nile swallowed hard.

"I-I'm not going to tell anyone w-what I heard." He stuttered, terrified.

"And?!" Levi growled and Nile flinched.

"I'll stay away from her!" He choked out, scared tears collecting in his eyes. Levi rolled his eyes and removed the knife.

"Wise choice. Here's a piece of advice, going forward. Remember that people have it worse than you, that doesn't make them scum. You can't choose where your born. Just because Dilan was born in the underground doesn't mean she isn't like you. She has feelings. She has fears and she has pain. She doesn't need assholes like you rubbing her trauma in her face. Trauma that she only went through because she sacrificed herself to save kidnapped children. We both know you wouldn't have had the guts to do that and that's why this is so fucked up. You're the scum. Not her. Remember that." Levi said seriously. Nile sniffed and looked down in shame, mumbling an apology. Levi ignored him and left without another word. Hopefully that was done for now. Maybe he could get some sleep.


A/N: Yo guys! Sorry for the slight delay in posting. This chapter we see Levi's loyalty continue to take effect after protecting Dilan from Erwins mind games. A bit of trouble at the start. You can imagine how freaked out Dilan was after being ambushed like that. Especially after deciding to trust someone and letting them in which is why she lashed out. Levi understood this though so thankfully their growing friendship is still on the right course. She's still edgy but she's really trusting him.

I'm so glad you're all liking my story guys! I will continue to try and post as regularly as possible. Honestly, it's a nice distraction during lockdown. We all deserve to allow ourselves some guilty pleasures. I hope reading this story brings you as much enjoyment as I find in writing it.

Also I wanted to mention that I know we're all eager for the big reveal but I have plans on how it's going to go down and unfortunately it will require some time but bear with me. I want to see if Dilan and Levi's friendship can progress without the help of their secret background. We'll have to see. I promise you I'll do my best to make it great.

Thanks again for reading! Stay safe! X