Chapter 16

Sesshomaru couldn't help but to stare at the back of Kagome. Night had fallen some time ago, forcing them to set up camp and rest for the night. Kagome had built a fire, refusing to let Sesshomaru help at all. Afterwards, she ate a variety of dried fruits and herbs. Again, Sesshomaru had offered to hunt for her, but she had declined then went back to ignoring him.

It had been three days since Kagome had reluctantly agreed to allow Sesshomaru to follow her. He tried to be beneficial to her, offering her anything within his power to make traveling easier, but she refused all advances. She wanted nothing to do with him. It was glaringly obvious that she had only allowed him to come because Touga asked it of her.

Alastar had made it abundantly clear that he didn't like Sesshomaru either. He kept his distance, glared at Sesshomaru any chance he got, and kept Sesshomaru from getting anywhere near Kagome. Alastar interfered as much as Miroku did.

Sesshomaru knew getting Kagome to forgive him wasn't going to be easy. He just hadn't expected to have so many people, even a horse, getting in his way. It was going to be harder to get close to Kagome than he thought. He didn't care in the end. He would still fight for her.

Eyes roaming over Kagome, Sesshomaru leaned back against the tree. She was sleeping curled up into a ball. Her breathing was soft and light, chest rising and falling with a deep rhythm. She had been asleep for an hour. Sesshomaru noted that Kagome didn't fall asleep easily. It took hours of restless tossing and turning before she finally fell asleep. He wondered if that was normal, or if it was because he was there.

With a sigh, he stood silently, making his way to the dying fire. At the start of autumn, the air was beginning to get a chill to it. He didn't want Kagome to get cold. He didn't know much about her, or if she could even get sick since she was the shikon miko, but he wasn't going to take any chances.

After he stoked the fire with a stick, he turned, startled to find Kagome awake and looking at him. He paused for a moment, regarding her, then set the stick down by the fire. She may be awake, but she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him. Giving her a nod, he started walking back to the tree, then stopped as her voice gripped at his feet.

"Why are you doing this?"

Sesshomaru looked over his shoulder, seeing that she was still laying on her side, back towards him. "You know why. I do not wish to separate Nakoa and Alastar."

"Since when have you cared about bonding or mating? You hate Izayoi all because she's human. You don't care about your father's mate. You rejected me, so you don't care about your own soul bond. Why the sudden fixation with Nakoa and Alastar?" She still didn't turn to look at him, instead curling further in on herself.

"I care." Sesshomaru knew telling her his true plans wouldn't end well for him. She didn't want to hear any kind of declaration of love from him. She didn't even want him around. "Things with Izayoi… it is not because she is human."

"Then what did she do? Clearly she offended you in some way for you to hate her so much?" Sesshomaru really wanted her to turn around and face him. He wanted to see her eyes, read the expression on her face, but he would take what he could get. She was actually talking to him, even if the conversation was about Izayoi.

"Did father never tell you about my mother?" Sesshomaru found himself surprised at this knowledge. Touga claimed Kagome as his daughter, and yet, he hadn't told her about the very thing that broke their family apart.

"No. I never asked, and he never spoke of it. I've heard rumors. Some of them say Izayoi simply looked at Satori and killed her, others say Satori ran away and is living in another continent." Kagome finally turned to look at Sesshomaru, disapproval etched into her features. "I don't really care. Knowing you, your anger is unfounded anyway."

"Not unfounded. Perhaps extreme, but not unfounded." Clenching his hands at his side, Sesshomaru looked up at the sky, thinking of his late mother. In times like this, he missed her. She would be able to help him find a way to get Kagome to trust him. "As you say, you do not know what happened. Can you really judge without all knowledge of the matter?"

"I guess not." Kagome looked away again, once more settling down for the night. She was apparently done talking to him again.

"Kagome, your meadow is nearby." He noticed she stiffened at his question and cocked his head to the side. "Perhaps you would like to visit it before we get to the port?"

"I don't have a meadow, Lord Sesshomaru. I haven't gone back to the meadow since you ruined it for me. It belongs to you and that female demon now. Enjoy it." She waved a hand over her shoulder before relaxing once more.

Sesshomaru could only stare at her once again, his heart clenching in his chest. He ruined it for her. She had spoken to him about that meadow, practically invited him to enjoy it with her, and he turned around and snatched it away from her. It had been thirty five years since she stepped foot in that meadow, and he was the one to blame. Head hanging, he walked back to his tree, defeated.

Kagome could feel Sesshomaru's eyes on her again. He hardly ever looked away from her. All day it felt as if her skin was heating from his gaze. Mostly, he looked at her back or her hair, but his gaze still made her uncomfortable. What was he thinking? Was he hating how much he was traveling with her? Did he loathe her because Alastar got his horse pregnant?

She just couldn't understand what was going through his head. This wasn't the Sesshomaru she knew so many years ago. This Sesshomaru was calm and collected. He was thoughtful and giving. This was the Sesshomaru she had always imagined meeting before she actually met him.

She cursed him for it. Why couldn't he have been like this when they first met? If this Sesshomaru had been the one she had met, she could see herself falling in love with him easily. Now though, all she could see when she looked at him was fifteen years of pain. He had this side of him all along, and he hid it away. It wasn't fair.

"Livestock gets put in the ship's bowls." A man snapped, pulling Kagome from her thoughts. Alastar was walking beside her, Nakoa behind him. The man was glaring at the animals, and she knew Nakoa and Alastar would be mistreated if she let them go with that man. She would never have let them be taken from her side anyway.

"I bought four tickets. They won't get into any trouble." Kagome reached into her sleeve, pulling out the tickets she had received. They had just stepped foot onto the ship and already they were having trouble.

"I don't care if you bought a hundred tickets. I ain't cleaning up their shit and piss. Livestock goes into the bowls, or you don't get on at all." Reaching out, the man grabbed at Alastar, but regretted it immediately when Kagome smacked his hand away. Alastar began to nod his head in agitation, his hooves stomping on the wooden floor. If the man wasn't careful, he was going to get bit. He didn't know any better, and instead lashed out at the wrong person. "You bitch! Smack me like that again, and I'll fuck you int-"

"Perhaps you should not finish that sentence." Sesshomaru was there suddenly, pushing himself in front of Kagome. Slowly he stepped forward, backing the man up until he could no longer retreat. The fool was a trembling mess, staring at the dangerous Sesshomaru with wide eyes.

"T-The hor-"

"Will have free reign. They belong to the Western family, one of them my steed. You wouldn't wish to insult the heir of the West, would you?" Reaching out, Sesshomaru ran his clawed finger across the man's throat. The touch was gentle, a threat and warning wrapped all onto one. "If you disrespect Kagome, or the horses again, I will gut you."

"Yes, My lord." The man nodded agreeable, swallowing so thick they could hear it. "You four can do as you please. I beg your forgiveness."

"Apologize to them." Sesshomaru stepped to the side, motioning towards Kagome. The man threw himself at Kagome's feet, kissing each one. Kagome jolted back, stepping away from the man. She had never had someone bow to her like that before and didn't like it. However, before she could say anything, the man was gone and kissing the hooves of both horses. As soon as he was done, he ran away, not even looking back. Kagome could only stare at her feet.

"Come, Kagome. Our rooms are waiting for us." Sesshomaru held out a hand to her, and she looked up at him, angry.

"Don't do that. Don't use your power to get everything you want. I could have handled that on my own." She crossed her arms over her chest, hating herself. He had only tried to help, hadn't harmed the idiot, and even got the man to apologize to her, but she just couldn't help herself. Sesshomaru had hurt her, and she wanted to make things difficult for him. "It isn't the first time Alastar and I have run into trouble before. I don't need you to bail us out."

"Perhaps you don't need me, but you have me. If it is in my power to help you, you will receive it. You and Alastar." Sesshomaru lowered his hand, letting it hang there limply. Kagome wasn't sure what to say to that and could only manage to glare at him. She was sure it looked like she was pouting, but she didn't care. She didn't want him to be like this, so helpful and nice. She didn't want to see what she would never be able to have.

After a moment of tense silence, Sesshomaru reached into his robes, pulling out a blue flower in full bloom. "I apologize for leaving your side and allowing that interaction to happen at all. However, I saw this, and thought it would look lovely in your hair. It will match your eyes."

Kagome looked at the flower, her hands clenching into fist. Flowers? Offers to hunt for her? Keeping jerks from being jerks? It was all too much. "Stop it." Her voice was soft, tears springing to her eyes. "Stop pretending to be something you're not. You're just a bastard. An asshole that does nothing but hurt the people around him. I don't want your stupid flower or your stupid help. I just want you to leave me alone."

She took off running then, leaving Sesshomaru holding out the flower. Running around the corner of the deck, she leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. Tears streamed down her face, one hand covering her mouth, the other gripping at her heart.

Cautiously, she peaked around the corner, seeing Sesshomaru staring at the flower. She expected him to crush it, or to throw it down. That was what the Sesshomaru she knew would do. She had left him. He wouldn't have to pretend anymore. He could be his normal hurtful self. She needed to see him crush that flower. She needed to see that she hadn't really lost out on what could have been the best thing that happened to her.

"Maybe next time." Sesshomaru stepped up to Nakoa, gently pressing the flower into Nakoa's mane. "It looks just as good on you." He patted Nakoa's neck, then let his hand fall limp at his side. He looked almost broken in the moment, with his head down, arms hanging. He looked as if he had no spirit left.

Closing her eyes, Kagome felt her heart break into pieces. This was Sesshomaru. The new one. This had been everything that she had ever wanted in her soul bonded. He was here, following her around. At that moment, she thought about teleporting away. She would have if she could take Alastar with her. This Sesshomaru, this new person, was everything that she had ever wanted. Bringing her hand up to her face, she traced the lines of her scar. He was everything she had ever wanted but was everything that she couldn't have. There was too much pain and betrayal between them. She hated Sesshomaru for everything that he had done, despite the way he was acting now. She hated him more, because he was showing what she could have had.

...

Again we see a bit of Kagome's cruelty. She can see that Sesshomaru is changed. She knows he is different than what he was before. She can't ignore it. However, right now, there is so much pain between them, she she can't help but to be angry. This was the Sesshomaru she had thought she would spend her life with when she met him. This was the Sesshomaru she had always wanted. Right now she is thinking that she can't have what she had dreamed of, and because of that, she is lashing out at him because he caused as much pain as he did. Not to mention, she's still a little salty over fifteen years of him being a giant dick. lol. Sesshomaru really is trying, though.

As always, the challenge is here. Twenty-five reviews from different people and the next chapter will be yours. Teaser: Sesshomaru and Kagome finally make it to China. Why did Kagome need to go there in the first place? How does Miroku react to seeing Sesshomaru?