Tifa had slept fitfully all night. It was now barely morning, but she couldn't bring herself to lay her head back on her pillow. She sat up in bed, hair tangled from sleep, her blanket tight around her shoulders, and stared out the window. The streets were covered in a soft layer of powder white snow, and flakes were still falling. Tifa sighed and leaned against the wall, pressing her fingertips gently against the cold glass of her bedroom window.
Even though she was cuddled comfortably between her bed and window, she couldn't rid herself of the feeling that she was falling. She had gotten so used to the routine her, Cloud, and the kids had fallen into that any change left her somewhat startled. There was another threat on the horizon, just when peace had been reestablished. But was that really such a shock?
Tifa had known since she was eight that life never dealt you the hand you expected. Things could change in the blink of an eye, people could die, and the lives of the ones you loved most could be threatened. But she wasn't that worried about that. By now, she knew that she, Cloud, Marlene, and Denzel were all survivors. No matter what happened, they would fight until the end to stay alive.
No, that wasn't what had kept her up all night, tossing and turning.
It was that longing she felt when Cloud held her close, the almost overwhelming desire that made her skin burn when she felt the slightest brush of his lips against hers, that kept her from falling asleep. She gently touched her lips with shaking hands and closed her eyes.
Had she really never felt those feelings before? Deep down she knew they had always been there. But when meteor had loomed on the horizon, it had been more than enough to sleep on Cloud's shoulder and know he was close. Times and times before, a smile and the occasional and incredibly cherished hug were enough for her. She and Cloud had fallen into a comfortable relationship. They were always there for one another.
Now, she found herself asking if it was enough for her. She had thought she had all she wanted; a family. She now knew that Cloud would never leave her or the kids. They would always be there for each other, and they knew they loved each other. Whether or not they loved each other was never the question. They knew they did.
But was that enough? Tifa hugged her knees to her chest. She had thought it was. It had been enough for her. Just having Cloud home and being able to watch over him, knowing he was safe and happy had been enough to keep her happy. She knew she could live the rest of her life that way if she wanted to.
She pulled the covers tighter around her. Did she want that? The answer was yes, of course, but she was beginning to find out that she wanted more. She didn't want to be satisfied with cold nights alone in her room, wondering whether Cloud was tossing and turning too. She wanted to feel his arms around her and feel more than gentle concern or affection.
She wanted to feel the passion and the desire that she felt last night. Tifa didn't want to have to hold it back anymore. She could feel the tension between her and Cloud reaching the breaking point, and she knew Cloud could feel it too.
But she was scared. She knew that if they decided that they wanted to cross that line together... there was no going back.
Cloud sat on the edge of his bed waiting impatiently as the hold music continued on the phone. Denzel was bouncing excitedly by Cloud's window, wearing his pajamas and a pair of snow boots. He pressed his nose to the window and looked to Cloud eagerly. Cloud held up a finger, exasperation and amusement clear on his face.
"Cloud?" Reeve's voice finally crackled through the phone.
Denzel faintly heard that Cloud was no longer on hold and rushed to the foot of the bed, silent so he might be able to hear the conversation.
"Hey Reeve," Cloud replied, brow wrinkling at the bad transmission. "You there?"
"I'm here." Reeve replied loudly. "I can barely hear you though."
Cloud spoke a little louder.
"The streets are pretty bad..." he said slowly. "I don't think I'll be able to make it in today."
Denzel jumped up and down excitedly, and Cloud quickly hushed him. He sat next to Cloud on the end of the bed, barely containing his exhilaration. Cloud stood up and paced around his room as he spoke to Reeve, trying to figure out where the reception was best. Finally, he came to a stop head tilted, listening to the man on the other end. Denzel watched him, wringing his hands eagerly.
When Cloud silently gave Denzel the thumbs-up, he jumped off the bed, letting out at happy exclamation. Cloud exasperatedly hung up the phone.
"Go wake up Marlene then and get ready," he told Denzel.
Denzel nodded and raced out of the room, his snow boots pounding on the floors. Cloud watched him go and sighed, falling back on his bed. He ran his hand through his blond spikes, holding his head in his hands for a minute. Lately, his head tended to feel like it was going to explode.
He wondered if Tifa was awake yet, and when they would get a chance to talk alone. Cloud felt confused. On one hand, he wanted to talk to Tifa more than anything, but on the other, the concept terrified him. What in the world was he supposed to say?
He knew that he'd be there for her no matter what. He had promised her long ago that he'd be a hero for her, and he had promised himself numerous times that he'd never let anything happen to her. If she wanted things to be the way they used to be... Cloud swallowed hard. He could live with that. He would force himself to, if it would make her happy.
But if she wanted... Cloud wasn't even sure how to finish the sentence. If she wanted... more... then... He sighed and rubbed his face. He knew that was what he wanted. Whatever more was... he wanted that with Tifa.
But he knew deep down that despite anything he might feel, he could hold it back if Tifa wanted it that way. He owed her that much. It would kill him to hold his feelings back, to see her everyday but not be able to touch her the way he wanted to, but if it was for Tifa, he could do it.
So how exactly was he supposed to tell her that? He was getting better at the whole "communication" deal but... this was beyond him. The idea of sitting down and having a serious discussion about feelings made Cloud shudder involuntarily. This situation felt painfully familiar... He tried to recall the advice Tifa had given him last time.
"Cloud... words aren't the only thing that tell someone what you're thinking..."
Cloud groaned and buried his face into his hands. What had he gotten himself into?
Tifa was strangely grateful for the mass chaos as she tried to get Denzel and Marlene ready to go out into the snow.
"Hold still!" she told Marlene, holding her gently by the shoulders.
The little girl wriggled impatiently as Tifa's hands gently tugged her hair back into a braid. The little girl was already bundled up in several layers of clothes. Tifa looked her over with a critical eye.
"Put a hat on." Tifa commanded. "And go put on a pair of long socks over the ones you have now."
Marlene ran off to go dig around in the closet.
"Gloves!" Tifa shouted at her retreating back.
Pushing past Marlene, Denzel tromped forward to get approval from Tifa. His face was shiny and eager. Smiling, Tifa pulled his hat up so that his eyes were visible.
"Put your coat on Denzel!" she said exasperatedly. "And put socks on for goodness sake!"
Denzel wriggled out of his boots and began pulling all the socks out of the drawer. Tifa sighed and sat down on Marlene's bed. She was remembering now why she and Cloud had never pursued a deeper relationship... No time! Tifa thought. But still, a smile tugged at her lips as she watched Marlene and Denzel run around the room getting ready, the thought of snow exciting them beyond words. And yet... Tifa thought to herself, getting up to help Denzel into his coat. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Marlene and Denzel were now bundled up to her satisfaction and grinning up at her. She tapped a finger to her chin and tried to think if there was anything she was forgetting. Tifa looked down slowly at her feet clad in two thick pairs of socks and slapped a hand to her forehead.
"My boots!" she groaned. "I wonder if Cloud..."
Before she could finish the thought, Cloud entered the doorway, holding up a pair of red boots.
"Found them." he said quietly holding them out to Tifa.
Tifa took them from him slowly. She could feel his eyes on her as she bent down to slip them on. The excited chatter of the children seemed far away now as Tifa got lost in her thoughts once more. So far this morning, everything between her and Cloud had been tentative, as though they were tip-toeing around each other.
"Can we go now?" a voice chirped happily.
Tifa found her vision blocked by Marlene's big brown eyes staring right at her.
"We can go." Tifa assured her, smiling.
Marlene and Denzel cheered, and raced out the bedroom, their snow boots pounding on the floor. Tifa stood slowly and looked over to Cloud who was waiting by her in the doorway. He met her eyes cautiously.
She approached him slowly. He made to back away so she could make it through the door; it seemed as though he had been afraid to touch her all morning. Tifa gently grabbed his sleeve and stopped him from moving back. He looked down at her, eyes inquisitive.
"It's okay." she said softly.
Cloud tilted his head, not sure he understood. Tifa slipped her gloved hand into his.
"You don't have to ask my permission to touch me." she clarified in a whisper, before pulling him out the door.
Cloud stumbled after her down the stairs, feeling as though the steps were moving beneath him. Sometimes he wondered if Tifa knew what she did to him.
"Tifa!" Denzel said sternly as Tifa tried to juggle a few snowballs. "You're not taking this seriously!"
Tifa quickly stopped juggling and put on her most serious face.
"I am taking this seriously." she told Denzel.
He gave her a skeptical look and added a handful of snow on top of their snow fort. Tifa peered around the edge of their carefully crafted snow wall, her snowballs carefully cradled in the nook of her arm. Denzel hovered behind her.
"Do you see them yet?" he whispered.
Tifa shook her head, shaking her loose black strands of hair. Denzel nervously packed down more snow to make the wall stronger.
"They're gunna get us back bad." he said nervously.
Tifa silently agreed with him. Their fun little Cloud and Marlene versus her and Denzel snowball fight had gone from a leisurely game to full out war when she and Denzel had managed to shove handfuls of snow down the back of Cloud's shirt and mix it in with his hair. The past ten minutes had been spent in tense anticipation of what punishment they would be dealing out to them.
"They just disappeared!" Tifa whispered, peeking around the corner again.
The little boy nodded solemnly.
"I bet they're waiting out there for us to leave..." he said suspiciously. "We should probably hold our ground."
Tifa bit back a smile as Denzel's no-nonsense attitude and tried to nod as seriously as possible. She leaned back against the snow wall as Denzel scanned the premises. Snow was still falling steadily from the sky. Tifa played with the snow at her side. The snow was now piled so thickly, you couldn't even tell that they were playing in the middle of the street.
"Tifa!" Denzel shouted suddenly. "Watch out!"
Tifa attempted to scramble to her feet, but it was too late; Cloud and Marlene were standing over their snow wall, and in their hands were big buckets filled to the top with fresh snow.
"Cloud! Marlene!" Tifa half-pleaded, half-laughed. "Don't you dare-"
Tifa and Denzel shrieked loudly as snow was dumped over top their head, sticking in their hair and blinding them. Their shouts of protest were drowned out by Cloud and Marlene's hysterical laughter. As Tifa shook snow out her hair, she heard Cloud urging Marlene through fits of laughter to run.
"Not so fast!" Tifa said, stumbling to her feet. "Come on Denzel! Let's get them!"
She pulled Denzel to his feet and they clumsily ran after the other two, tripping over the deep snow. Cloud and Marlene looked over their shoulders and tried to speed up as they saw they were being chased. Giggling like mad, Marlene tripped and landed face forward in a soft pile of snow.
As Cloud turned back to help her up, he was tackled to the ground by Tifa and Denzel's bodies. Tifa, slung over his stomach, held him down as Denzel planted snowball after snowball in his face.
"Marlene!" Cloud hollered. "Help!"
The little girl scampered to her feet and jumped on top of Tifa. Cloud grunted at the added weight.
"I said help me, not suffocate me!" Cloud protested.
Marlene just giggled as Tifa turned on her, flicking little bits of snow into her hair.
"I'll help you Cloud!" Denzel offered, grabbing Tifa's leg and trying to pull her off.
"Hey!" Tifa said in mock-offense. "I thought you were on my side!"
Denzel just smiled and packed a snowball between his little gloved fists. Tifa smiled daringly.
"You wouldn't!" she said.
His only reply was to bring the snowball down on the top of her hair, causing white flakes to fall over her face and down her back.
And then, it was as if they had never decided on teams. Snowballs were flying everywhere, and the four of them, red-faced and breathing loudly were all on the snow-covered ground, trying to avoid getting a face full of snow while doubled over with laughter.
Marlene and Denzel had Cloud pinned down, and he held his hands feebly up to ward off their attack, even though he could have easily grabbed each of them with one hand and stood up. Marlene sat triumphantly on his chest as Denzel buried his legs in snow. Laughing, Tifa helped him, and it only took minutes to cover his whole bottom half.
"Let's bury him all the way!" Marlene said excitedly. "And leave him there!"
Denzel and Tifa laughed but Cloud gasped, pretending to be offended.
"We could go back inside for a couple hours..." Tifa suggested sweetly. "Then come back out and see who could find him first."
Marlene giggled gleefully as Cloud stood up, gently tossing her into a snow drift. Laughing, Denzel and Tifa scrambled backwards. Denzel charged at Cloud, but Cloud caught him under the arms and swung him into the snow next to Marlene.
"Run Tifa!" the children urged Tifa, shouting from their snow pile.
Out of breath with laughter, Tifa tried to get to her feet, but laughing almost as hard as she was, Cloud ran up behind her and slung her over one shoulder. Marlene and Denzel hooted with laughter as Tifa pounded Cloud's back with her fists.
"What should I do with her?" he asked the kids as Tifa tried to threaten him in-between bursts of laughter.
"Toss her!" Denzel chanted.
"Face down in the snow!" Marlene shouted.
Tifa's shouts of protest only encouraging him, Cloud shifted her flailing body around in his arms. As he made to toss her into the snow, she clung tightly to his arms, and the momentum of his toss brought him tumbling into the snow on top of her.
He heard Tifa's sharp intake of breath, and suddenly all the laughter faded from his face, and all games were over.
"Tifa?" he asked urgently, lifting himself up with his arms. "Did I hurt you?"
But a cheerful smile was spread across Tifa's face, her cheeks rosy from the cold snow. She was out of breath from all the laughing, and her hands were still wrapped around Cloud arms. Strands of black hair were splayed across the snow. She looked beautiful, he noticed.
Cloud turned his head as he heard the children running unsteadily towards them in the deep snow. He felt Tifa's hands tugging on his arms, and he gently righted her. Marlene and Denzel knelt down beside them in the snow.
"What do you two want to do now?" Tifa asked them.
Cloud didn't have to look at her to know she was smiling.
"Let's build a snowman!" Marlene suggested cheerfully.
Marlene's suggestion to build a snowman, had quickly evolved into them building a whole community of snow people. There were now several snow people scattered around the street in front of Seventh Heaven. Some of them were extremely tall, yet lopsided and malformed. Those ones were Cloud's. Tifa and the kids had laughed and teased Cloud about his deformed snowmen until he had gotten offended and knocked the head off of one of Tifa's perfectly formed snowmen.
This in turn, had led to another snowball fight.
Finally, it had started to get dark, and the four of them had stumbled back into Seventh Heaven, wet, cold, exhausted, and hungry, yet extremely satisfied; the day had been the most fun any of them could remember ever having.
They all shed their wet outer layers in front of the door, and then raced up to their own rooms to change into warm dry clothes. After steaming mugs of hot chocolate and a warm meal made by Tifa, the children had given into exhaustion, and allowed Tifa to tuck them up in their beds under the warm covers.
Smiling at the children who were already sleeping deeply, Tifa closed the door behind her. Cloud was behind her, leaning against the wall of the hallway and watching her with penetrating eyes. Tifa gently smoothed her hands over her pajama top and met his gaze.
"We need to talk, don't we?" Cloud asked her softly.
Tifa nodded slowly.
"Yea..." she answered in a whisper.
Cloud sighed and shook his head.
"The problem is..." he began. "I don't know what to say."
Tifa bit her lip.
"Maybe you don't have to say anything..." she breathed softly.
Cloud felt himself stop breathing for a moment. Tifa was watching him under her dark lashes. Your move, she seemed to be saying. Though he wasn't confident he still had the ability to walk, he took a step forward. Almost subconsciously, his arm slid around Tifa waist, his hand resting on the small of her back. His other hand gently took hold of Tifa's and placed it on his shoulder. Tifa slid her other hand up to his chest, sending pleasant tingles all the way to Cloud's feet.
"Tifa..." Cloud whispered breathlessly. "Is this what you want?"
The hallway was silent, the only sounds were his and Tifa's soft breaths. For a moment, Cloud's heart hung in purgatory, but then Tifa moved her head up and down in a slow nod, and that was enough for him.
All Cloud could hear was his heart pounding in his ears as he lifted his free hand to Tifa cheek. Her eyes closed as his hand made contact with the soft skin. He gently tilted her head in his hands, and felt his own eyes slowly close. A second later, he was conscious of the fact that he could taste Tifa's warm breath, inches away from his own, and then, all he was aware of was the feeling of her soft lips under his.
Time seemed to stop for them as they stood together in the hallway, kissing each other as they had been longing to do for years. Tifa wound her arms tightly around his neck, pulling herself up to compensate for the height difference. Feeling her warm arms against him, Cloud deepened the kiss, parting her lips gently.
Tifa pulled away gasping for breath, and for a minute, Cloud worried that maybe he was moving too fast for her. But then, her hand were tangled in his hair, and she was pulling his lips back down to hers. Cloud suddenly found that he had little control over what his hands were doing. He desperately tried to keep them in a same perimeter as Tifa's body pressed dangerously close.
And just as he became delightfully aware of the soft noises Tifa made when he ran his hands down the warm flesh of her sides underneath her top, they heard a loud creaking noise. Their mouths quickly separated as their heads whipped around towards the children's door.
To their great relief, the door was still shut. It took a minute for their minds to clear enough to realize that Tifa's back was now pressed against her bedroom door, which had caused the squeaking noise. They were both breathing in a labored fashion, lips slightly parted. Their hearts were pounding in their chests.
They became painfully aware of the state they were in, and how quickly things had progressed in just a few minutes. Cloud looked down at Tifa's flushed cheeks and eyes shining in the dark hallway, and he realized if he didn't end things now, he might be in trouble.
Cloud took a shuddering breath and grabbed Tifa's hand, rubbing his thumb gently over her knuckles. Tifa smiled at him, and the subtle change in the way she smiled sent his head reeling. He returned the smile.
"Come on..." he told her softly. "I'll put you to bed."
She nodded, and they stepped into her room. Cloud deeply breathed in her scent, which seemed to saturate every inch of the room. Tifa walked over to her bed, Cloud holding her hand behind her. She slipped under the covers, not letting go of his hand yet.
"Stay..." she whispered sleepily, her head resting on her pillow.
Cloud nodded quietly and settled down next to her, letting her tuck her head under his chin and allowing himself to wind a hand through her hair.
"Just until you fall asleep..." he murmured, more to himself than her.
Even then, he felt his eyes closing.
