DILAN'S P.O.V.

"Gunther keep up, your lagging behind!" Dilan called, looking behind her. Levi had told them to gear up, race to the end of the forest and back again. Dilan was obviously in the lead, but she wanted to make sure no one got too left behind so she wasn't using the speed she normally did.

"I'm trying!" Gunther yelled back, seemingly frustrated as he kept knocking into tree branches. His speed was good, but his awareness was shit. The order went as the following. Dilan in first. Stacy in second. Eld in third. Petra in fourth and Gunther in fifth. Dilan felt bad for the kid. He was trying his best, but he was being left behind in all the different categories.

Dilan pursed her lips before coming to a decision and latching onto a tree to wait for him. The others looked at her in confusion as they raced ahead but she told them to keep going. She waited until Gunther was in range before jumping off and keeping pace with him.

"You shouldn't have done that, Dil. Now we're both going to lose." Gunther grumbled. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"This exercise isn't about winning or losing. I'm here so I can help you. Let me?" She asked. Gunther looked at her for a second before nodding. Dilan smiled. "Great. Forget about the race, I'll explain it to the Captain why we're a few minutes behind." She reassured and he nodded again. "First things first, you're holding too much tension in your shoulders. Why so on edge?" She asked, casually twisting out of the way of a tree.

"B-Because we're going pretty fast and I don't want to knock my teeth out?" Gunther questioned with an exasperated look. Dilan laughed. Poor kid hasn't even seen fast yet.

"Forget about all that for a second. Forget about training. Forget about the titans. Forget about the squad and the Captain. Forget that I'm right here next to you." She said calmly, noticing Gunther relax slightly. "Take a deep breath and look around you. It's a pretty amazing view don't you think?" Dilan asked with a smile, looking around at the forest scenery. They flew in silence for a bit and Dilan smiled as the Gunther let go of the tension in his shoulders.

"Yeah. It's pretty amazing." He chuckled. Dilan nodded.

"Now take in your surroundings. The key to going fast is to be aware of everything so you know exactly what you need to do in order to keep flying at that momentum. You can't be fluid if your tense, but we've already dealt with that. Instead of using your gears to pull you, try swinging with them like I am. See?" Dilan smiled as she swung down around a tree, arching her body and going with the breeze. Gunther watched her with wide eyes.

"Woah." He commented as she came back to his side. Dilan chuckled.

"Looks fun right?" She asked with a grin. She knew the boy wasn't ready for the falling technique, maybe he never would be, but they could make his movements more fluid. Gunther nodded and furrowed his brows as he focused on the controls and his surroundings. He started using less gas and started swinging with the gears, using the momentum. Dilan smiled in approval. "Yeah. That's it!" She praised and Gunther smiled happily. "Now let's catch up yeah?" She laughed, starting to push further, proud as Gunther kept pace with her and they were quick to catch up the others.

Of course, Dilan still wasn't going at her natural speed, but the kid needed an ego boost, so she lagged behind a bit, smirking as the others frowned as Gunther sped in front of them and landed back at the finish line before the Captain, panting heavily from the exertion. Dilan landed after him, laughing and slapping him on the back. "Nice work." She commented and Gunther laughed.

"Thanks." He smiled. Dilan looked to Levi who was raising an eyebrow at her, clearly asking why she let him win. Dilan shrugged as the others landed soon after.

"Shit man, that was fast." Stacy grinned. Dilan gave Levi a look to offer a smidge of praise and Levi glared at her but gave in.

"Not terrible, Swaltzs. I expect you to keep it up though." He offered. Gunther nodded; eyes bright with determination.

"Yes sir." He said and Dilan smiled in approval. Levi nodded.

"Good. Let's work on, you, shit's technique then. I don't remember being impressed last time." He said in a monotoned voice before walking into the trees. Dilan rolled her eyes, biting back a laugh. And... he's back.


Another 5 ruthless hours of training later and even Dilan was pleased to get back to the Inn and collapse on the sofa. Levi had worked them to the bone, but Dilan didn't mind, she loved the ache that came after a good work out. Revelled in it, even. She loved pushing her body to the limits. Although it seems the squad did not share her opinion. They were half passed out, pale and groaning heavily.

"Every day?" Gunther's hoarse voice complained. "We have to do that... every day?" He rubbed his face. Dilan laughed as the others groaned again.

"I still don't think I've caught my breath yet." Stacy sighed as Eld lit the fire. Levi had left the Inn to ride over to HQ for a meeting with Erwin meaning Dilan still hadn't had the chance to talk to him.

Her hands had started shaking again after training stopped. Luckily, she had managed to shove them in her pockets before anyone saw. But if they did, she hoped they would just think it was from excessive training anyway. They were still shaking slightly now but she was hiding them under a blanket.

The squad had changed into less sweat casual clothes before flopping onto the sofas.

"Quit ya whining. You'll get used to it." Dilan said truthfully. Petra slid down from the sofa to warm her hands by the fire.

"Did you and the Captain train like that every day?" Petra asked the squad looked curious for the answer. Dilan shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. We normally start earlier and finish later but the training was basically the same... but we didn't do any suicide laps today. I'm guessing the Captains going to build you up to that." Dilan replied simply. The others looked hesitant.

"Suicide laps?" Stacy dared to ask. Dilan smirked at their scared faces.

"You run into the forest, straight, until your body breaks down and you feel like you're about to pass out or throw up. Only then do you turn around and run all the way back." Dilan said with a grin. Those were fun mornings. Levi, the bastard, always beat her. She had to turn around way before him.

The squad looked horrified.

"You're kidding?" Eld spluttered. Dilan chuckled.

"Nope. It's a great exercise for building up the stamina so I assume he'll make us do it at some point. But he'll give notice since the runs usually take 3-4 hours, so we'll have to get up early, so it doesn't interfere with regular training." She said casually, smiling in amusement as the squad groaned again. "Come on, it's fun! Don't you like pushing to the limit? Were your squad leaders all slackers or something?" She questioned. The group shared a shrug.

"It wasn't like this that's for sure." Gunther rubbed his head. Dilan chuckled.

"Yup. Welcome to the elites."


The group had dinner and Dilan thanked the lord Eld was a good cook. They finally had real meals. Petra suggested they save some for the Captain. Dilan agreed it was a good idea but doubted he would eat it. The man didn't take care of himself enough and Dilan doubted that was going to change.

They relaxed by the fire, chatting for a bit before starting to head up to bed. The group said goodnight and the lounge cleared. Dilan stood up and stretched out her arms, staring into the fire as it burnt out and looked down at her hand that were still tremoring. She closed them into fists and took a deep breath, clearing her mind.

Dilan walked into the kitchen and picked up a broom, sweeping the floors in the kitchen and lounge. The squad had tried to clean up and they did an okay job, but it was not worthy of the clean freak she called a friend. Dilan glanced over to the door, guessing Levi would be late home. She shrugged and walked up to the second floor, catching Stacy coming back from the bathroom, yawning. Dilan guessed this was a pretty perfect chance to talk to her about what she said.

"Hey Stace?" Dilan asked and Stacy turned to her with a smile.

"Yeah?"

"I was hoping I could talk to you about what you said this morning. About living in the underground?" Dilan mentioned, observing Stacy for any kind of negative reaction. When she simply tilted her head, Dilan deemed it a good sign.

"Sure. Do you want to come in?" She asked happily, gesturing to her bedroom door. Dilan smiled and nodded, and they got out of the hallway into Stacy's bedroom which was the room with the light green back wall. Dilan bit back a laugh when she saw the state of the room. It was pretty obvious now why Stacy was so bad at cleaning. She was apparently a very messy person.

"Do not let Levi see this." Dilan teased, sitting down on the chair by the window. Stacy cracked a sheepish smile, blushing a bit as she shoved all the clothes she managed to ball up in her arms into her wardrobe and pushing the door closed before hurriedly straightening out her bed and sitting on the end of it.

"Sorry." She cringed. Dilan laughed and waved her off.

"It's fine, kid. I was pretty messy when I was your age. Must suck to have to bunk with a bunch of old people huh?" Dilan smiled, hugging a leg to her chest. Stacy smiled but shook her head.

"I prefer it actually. There's no annoying boys here or two-faced girls. You're all nice, focused determined people." She said happily. Dilan nodded in approval; glad the kid wasn't having a hard time adjusting. "Plus, you let me drink alcohol." She giggled as Dilan's face fell into a deadpan look.

"That was a once off. We were very irresponsible yesterday. Got to wait until you 17, girl." Dilan smirked as Stacy pouted and muttered a curse under her breath.

"So, what'd you want to ask me?" She refocused. Dilan sighed.

"I guess being from the underground, I know how shit it is. I just want to ask when you lived there and how your life was? You don't have to answer but I thought I'd ask anyway so you know there's someone you can talk to." Dilan explained. Stacy smiled at that, looking out the window.

"I guess... my father was a merchant in Sina... he was rich. Like super rich. When I told him, I wanted to join the scouts... let's just say he did not take it well." Stacy explained, lifting up the hair behind her ear to show Dilan a long scar that ran around her ear and disappeared behind the rest of her hair. Dilan's eyes softened slightly, recognising she was abused.

The girl let go of the black locks and continued before Dilan could say anything.

"He sent me down to the underground as a punishment to 'learn some respect'. Compared to how others lived I didn't have it bad. I was forced on house arrest and I had guards, so nothing touched me, but it was still horrible down there." She sighed. "A year later, daddy dearest brings me back up and asks if I'm going to behave and get married to a rich suitor like a good girl." Stacy smirked a bit. "Ran away to join the military first chance I got." She finished with a humourless chuckle. Dilan smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry. Your dad sounds like a dick." She commented, walking over to sit down next to her and give the girl a hug. Stacy chuckled and hugged her back.

"He was. Nothing was ever good enough for him." She sighed. Dilan pulled back to look the girl in the eye.

"Well you have us now. We're a family and we have each other's backs. Okay kid?" She smiled. Stacy smiled back gratefully.

"Thanks. It means a lot." Stacy said genuinely. Dilan nodded and squeezed the girl's hand before standing up and walking to the door.

"Get some sleep and get ready for tomorrow." Dilan said, chuckling as Stacy sighed.

"Another day of hell?" Dilan smirked.

"The one and only." She said before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Dilan sighed, running a hand through her hair. It wasn't a perfect past but at least she was safe in the underground. That didn't mean Dilan didn't want to beat her father's ass for abusing her. Even with her circumstances, she could think of nothing worse than being abused by a family member. You're supposed to be able to trust them with your whole heart. God, humans were assholes.

Dilan sighed and sunk into bed after changing and brushing her teeth. She ignored the shakes in her hands and closed her eyes, letting sleep take her and choosing not to process the feeling of dread in her stomach.


"YOU LITTLE SHIT, COME BACK HERE!" Some man Dilan had just stolen from yelled around the corner. Dilan laughed as she ran, dodging people left and right, hearing heavy footsteps behind her. They were fast but she was faster. Dilan ran into an alleyway and climbed up the ladder to a roof, running towards her home, snickering at the man's shouts. "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?!"

It had been a year since the 'incident'. Getting over the trauma was hard and it was a while before she learned how to look at the world without fear, but her brother got her through it. He was really her rock. He helped her through the panic attacks and stayed up with her on the dark nights. She was still wary of strangers and didn't go anywhere dangerous without her brother nowadays, but she was better. She was getting better.

She trained harder and progressed faster. Farlan still refused to involve her in his dealings with his friends that she still hadn't met but she had her own schedule now. She brought in a hefty sum most days which Farlan was proud of her for since it allowed them to put more money towards her surface citizenship that they hid under the floorboards in the crawl space. Apparently Farlan kept his cash with the others so they weren't suspicious.

Dilan sighed in relief as she jumped over the final building and walked over to her homes entrance. She crawled through the front, seeing the lamp was lit meaning Farlan was home.

"Brother?" She asked, looking around. Sure, enough her brother was in the corner of their little cave. Dilan tilted her head in confusion as it looked like he was packing a bag... "Far?" Dilan asked again, moving over to him. Farlan looked up and forced a smile but the sweat on his head betrayed him. "What's happening?" Dilan asked. Farlan stilled his packing.

"Me and the others... we've stumbled across an opportunity..." Farlan started slowly, Dilan could see the weight of the world in his eyes.

"Opportunity?" Dilan asked. Farlan nodded.

"Some people approached us and offered us a job. It's risky but the reward is a surface citizenship." Farlan continued and Dilan's eyes widened. Those cost a fortune. Just how risky is he talking?

"What's the job?" She demanded. Farlan sighed and continued packing. "What's the job, Farlan?" Dilan asked, scared for the answer. "No bullshit." She said firmly. Farlan paused to look her in the eye.

"The survey corps are to capture us and bring us to the surface, forcing us to become soldiers. We must find a man named Erwin Smith and steal some documents before assassinating him. Our benefactor will grant us surface citizenships and we'll disappear." Farlan explained honestly and Dilan's stomach dropped.

"Y-you're leaving me?" She asked shakily, tears collecting in her eyes. Farlan's eyes widened at the distress in her tone and he was quick to reassure her, pulling her into a gentle hug.

"No, no, Dil. I would never leave you. You're my home, okay?" He comforted quickly and Dilan sighed in relief, hugging him back.

"Okay... so I'm coming with you then?" She asked hopefully. Farlan sighed and pulled back.

"The mission is too dangerous, Dil. You'll stay here. The deal doesn't include you anyway, and my plan is that once we've done the job, I'll tell my friends about you and we can buy you a citizenship with all the money we've saved up. We'll even probably have enough left over to get a cute little cottage somewhere in Maria." Farlan offered but Dilan didn't buy it.

"This sounds like a scam Far! How can you trust these people? What if you get killed up there? All for some stupid surface citizenship? I know life's not perfect down here, but we have each other! We don't need anything else!" Dilan tried to reason, not wanting her brother to go on some suicide mission without her. Farlan's eyes hardened.

"I'm not going to wait for something else to happen, Dilan. I'm not going to let you spend your life in such a shithole! I'm not going to wait until you're raped again and I'm not going to wait until you're killed. You're everything to me! I just want to give you the life you deserve!" He explained firmly, continuing to pack. Dilan felt her pulse speed up and she tried to stay calm. She had a really bad feeling about this.

"W-when do you go?" She asked quietly noticing Farlan falter before he steeled himself.

"Tomorrow but I'm going over to my friend's house tonight so we can go over the plan. The mission will take about a week. I've put extra money in the draw for you, but I brought enough food to last until then. I want you to stay here until I come back." Farlan explained, his mind made up. Dilan looked at him with dread as a tear dripped down her face.

"Far, please. I don't want you to do this... we'll find another way up. I have a bad feeling." She begged. Farlan zipped up the duffle back before turning to her and smiling.

"It's too late for that sis. I love you, okay? I'll be back soon. Hold down the fort, little fox." Farlan chuckled, hugging her tightly and kissing the side of her head.

"I love you brother." Dilan mumbled through a teary voice restraining herself from yelling at him to stay here where it was safe. Farlan hugged her tighter and hesitated before letting go and exiting the cave. Dilan looked after him, shivering at the emptiness she felt consume her, oblivious to the fact that she had just let Farlan walk out of her life for the last time.

It was two weeks later before Dilan got the news. Apparently Farlan had set up some kind of contingency with an acquaintance because she was notified of her brother's passing. Dilan hadn't believed it at first. She couldn't believe it. It had to be some kind of a trick, right? She kept hope for a long time, hope that her brother would come back to her just like he said he would. He promised he would never leave her, and Churches always stuck to their promises.

She got by on her own, stealing food more often than buying it. She got a few beatings and she was getting thinner without her brother's income, but she didn't care too much. She would never dip into the savings knowing how mad her brother would be. He worked so hard to save up that money for their ticket out of here after all, that should be coming soon. He would be back any day now. She just had to wait.

It was a cold night in the cave the night she snapped out of her fantasies. Dilan had a nightmare and woke up with a jump, eyes flicking over to her brother's empty sleeping bag, using the light from the flickering oil lamp. Her eyes widened in realisation when she was met with nothing. Empty. She was alone. Her brother was dead. He had been dead for 3 months now and she had been denying it like an idiot.

Furious, Dilan trashed the cave in her rage, screaming at her brother for leaving her alone. When she had no more energy she dropped to her knees and she cried. She cried her heart out because she had no home anymore. She had no purpose to live.

Dilan's teary orange eyes flicked over to a dagger that had fallen out of the chest of draws she had kicked over and picked it up, twirling the blade in hand. With an emotionless expression she pulled up her trouser leg and dug into her skin and for a moment... all the pain went away.

Dilan woke gasping for air. She couldn't breathe. She actually couldn't breathe.

"Fuck." She hissed, bolting up and searching the darkness with wide eyes. A whimper left her throat as the shakes wracked her body and her lungs wouldn't take in any air. Your fault. You killed him. You could have convinced him to stay but you didn't. You killed your only family. And you killed the squad too. Brand even told you what was about to happen. He gave you the choice to do something and you didn't. You killed them with your stupidity. You're weak. It's all your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

Dilan put a hand over her mouth to muffle the sobs as tears streaked down her face. She looked over to her bedside table and pulled open the draw with a shaky hand. The blade glinted in the moonlight that cracked through her curtains, calling to her. Dilan couldn't find the will to resist.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

Levi sighed as he stepped through the door of the Inn, raking a hand through his hair. He was met with a quiet house which didn't surprise him. that meeting had runway over thanks to Hanji's incessant babbling about nonsense that had no relevance to the topic at hand. They were trying to come up with a new expedition proposal for the government so they could get funding.

Thanks to Erwin's last supply run success they had gained back some favour from the capital that they had lost during the forest platforms mission. While the objective of the operation was indeed a success, the death rates were so high no one had the stomach to celebrate. Every single soldier in the corps had lost someone that day. Erwin's position as commander was even question but the bastard won them over. He always does.

Still, the meeting didn't result to much. They couldn't decide so it was a fucking waste of his time. He was exhausted and he couldn't wait to sink into bed and try and fail to sleep. Maybe he would get lucky and force his brain to shut down for an hour or two.

Levi stepped through into the kitchen, taking off his jacket and folding it over his arm. He noticed a plate of food left out for him that was clearly not made by Dilan considering it actually looked edible. The rest of the kitchen looked spotless though, so he assumed Dilan cleaned up. Levi frowned slightly. He had missed her today. Yes, she was there but it wasn't the same. Guess he'd have to get used to it. The fact didn't hurt his heart any less.

Levi managed to eat a few bites of the dinner before throwing the rest away. It was pretty good, but he wasn't hungry. He was never hungry. He hadn't had a real appetite since his friends were eaten and he doubted he would get it back again. still, Dilan was always telling him to look after himself more, so he did it for her. He found himself doing what he thought would make her happy more often than not these days. He knew why now. Hanji the fucking bitch. Why couldn't she just leave him in ignorance? It wasn't so bad being in the dark.

Levi sighed moving quietly up the stairs and into his room. He took of his boots and placed them neatly by the door, hanging his coat over his chair and changing into simpler clothes, suitable for sleep. Simple black joggers and a grey tank top. He was about to get into bed and force the shutdown of this brain against its will, but something stopped him. Dilan had been wanting to talk to him all day. She looked troubled. He should go and check the roof to make sure she wasn't waiting for him up there. He kind of hoped she was. He had missed talking to her today.

He pulled on a sweater and stuck his hands in his pockets as he left his room and walked up the roof stairs, opening the door. The moon was shining brightly, undermining all the stars on the navy canvas of the sky.

He took it in for a second before turning his head and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw a shaking Dilan, half passed out against the wall. Her sleeve was rolled up and there were five gushing red slices in her arm next to various other scars she had created over the past 6 months. The bloodied blade was on the floor by her bare feet, glinting in the light.

"Shit." Levi hissed and bolted over to her, kneeling down and checking her pulse. It was slightly irregular but not dangerous yet. Pained orange eyes cracked open slightly.

"L-Levi?" She mumbled and Levi's heart lurched.

"I'm here, brat." He reassured, taking off his jumper and wrapping it around her shoulders in an attempt to calm the shakes. He moved the knife away and took a closer look at the cuts, glad they weren't too deep after further inspection. They still must have hurt to make though. Her arm was a portrait of the pain she'd been experiencing. The pain Levi should have helped her through, and his stomach twisted in guilt. He could only imagine what her legs looked like.

Dilan sniffed and Levi looked up at her face, seeing the tears fall.

"I-I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'm pathetic." She whispered shakily; self-hatred clear in her tone. Levi swallowed down the lump of emotion that had formed seeing her like this.

"Everyone has slip-ups, Dilan. You can't just heal because you want to. It takes time." He explained gently, moving her arm to rest on her stomach facing upwards before picking her up carefully, making a mental note to come back and clean up the blood once Dilan was okay.

"What's... point? I killed Fa... and... killed the squad too. I'll kill you next, you... need to leave me alone..." She mumbled quietly and Levi barely caught half the words. Did she say a name? It was vaguely familiar. Levi looked at Dilan and quickly realised she was in the middle of an episode. He could recognise the signs by now. Blatant self-loathing was a big hint.

"I won't leave you alone, don't be stupid." Levi replied, coming down from the roof and going through his bedroom, into his bathroom.

"Lies." She sniffed as Levi put her down on the lid of the toilet seat and checked her arm that was still bleeding at a steady rate.

"I don't lie to you." He said seriously, grabbing a cloth and running it under the warm water. Dilan hung her head as tears continued to drip off her chin. Levi knelt down in front of her and gently cleaned her arm of crimson. The brat didn't even flinch.

"Y-you need to go. Everyone I care about dies. You're all I have left; you can't die too." She cried. Levi swallowed again as he got out some bandages from a first aid kit and wrapped up her arm. He'll never get used to seeing her like this.

"You're all I have left too. We have each other, okay?" Levi tried to get through, but Dilan wasn't listening. He shouldn't be surprised. Dilan explained that during her episodes it was like her brain was coated with cotton wool and that not much gets past the depressing thoughts. Levi thanked god he had gotten up to the roof in time to stop her doing anything worse.

"I don't deserve you... I don't deserve anyone." She mumbled, her eye lids growing heavy. Levi sighed.

"That's not true." He replied softly. The truth was it was him that didn't deserve her, and he never would. Dilan sniffed, ignoring him.

Levi looked at her bloodied clothes and left Dilan in the bathroom for a second to grab her a change of his clothes. They weren't going to fit her at all, but he didn't want to leave her for a second longer than necessary tonight. This was one of the worse episodes he'd witnessed. Barely anything he was saying was getting through. His clothes would have to suffice.

He came back into the bathroom, thankful that the brat hadn't moved and knelt down, hoping to get her attention.

"Dil?" Levi asked, stroking some hair out of her face. Dilan blinked tiredly and Levi saw a tiny bit of recognition in her eyes. She wasn't completely gone yet. "Can you change into these for me? Then you can sleep." Levi offered. Dilan took a moment, more silent tears streaking down her face that honestly hurt Levi's heart before she managed a nod, slowly accepting the folded pile of clothes Levi gave her. Levi stood up, taking a moment to collect all the sharp things in his bathroom before going outside and closing the door behind him. He tapped his foot nervously, raking a hand through his hair. Fucking get a grip Levi. Dilan needs you to be strong right now.

Levi waited a while before he could take the silence no more and knocked on the door, asking if she was done. When Dilan didn't reply Levi lost his patience altogether. Fuck it. He thought, opening the door, sighing a breath of relief when he saw that Dilan had changed into the clean clothes that were overly baggy, but Levi couldn't help but think they looked kind of cute on her. He immediately scolded himself for the thought considering her state and moved on.

Levi grabbed the bloodied clothing and threw it in his washing basket to be dealt with another day. He picked the half unconscious girl up and moved her to his bed, folding over the covers before setting her down and bringing them up to her chin, relieved as her shaking lessened. He didn't intend on letting the brat out of his sight until he was sure the episode was over.

Levi released a breath; glad she was comfortable and was about to retreat to his armchair to maybe get an hour himself once he was sure she was fine but a weak hand on his wrist stopped him. He turned, steel eyes meeting with amber and he felt a pain in his heart pulse at the distressed expression on Dilan's face.

"Don't leave..." She whispered. Levi took a moment to understand what she was saying and only when he nodded, did she let go. He ignored the thoughts that told him this was a definite red flag and made his way around the other side of the bed. He sat down on top of the covers, deciding under the covers was too far, and laid his head down on the other pillow, a decent distance between them. Dilan rolled over on her side to face him, looking into his eyes and Levi felt his pulse sped up.

Don't do anything stupid, Levi. Yes, it would be easy to lean over and kiss her right now, but she doesn't want or need that. She needs a friend and you're going to be there for her like that.

Levi was brought out of his thoughts as he noticed Dilan's hand was shaking. He ignored all of his reservations, shuffling a bit closer to take the hand, squeezing it gently for support. Dilan managed a weak smile of thanks and Levi could tell she was coming out of the darkness.

"I love you, Levi." Dilan said quietly but genuinely, and Levi's heart jumped in hope for a second before he realised, she didn't mean it like that. Wait for it, dumbass. "You're a great friend. I'm sorry I'm such a mess." She sighed. There it is. Friend. Still this might be the only chance he ever has to say it back. Levi swallowed down the emotion and took a mental breath, ignoring the pain.

"I love you too, brat." He admitted, his heart warming at the smile on Dilan's face. I love you more than you know. "But you're still a mess. You will be cleaning my roof of your blood." He teased and Dilan chuckled.

"Ass." She gave a playful glare and Levi smiled; glad she was getting back to normal. "Thanks for helping me out. I didn't mean to be so much trouble." She sighed. Levi didn't like her looking so down.

"Stop that. I told you it's fine. Now tell me what you've been wanting to say all day." Levi encouraged and Dilan smiled a bit.

"Am I really that obvious?" She wondered. Levi smirked.

"Pretty much." He shrugged and Dilan chuckled.

"I don't know. I guess I had a really bad urge this morning and I've been shaky ever since. I wanted to talk to you about it since it always helps but things were so hectic today, we didn't have the time and I didn't want to bother you." She admitted with a sigh. "And then... I went to sleep, and I dreamt about the last time I saw my brother..." She explained, closing her eyes shut tight to stop more tears.

Levi took a breath to push down his own emotion seeing her so upset and squeezed her hand for support.

"I woke up and I couldn't breathe. I gave in and now I'm right back to square one." She sighed in a depressed tone.

"Dilan you need to come to me before things get bad otherwise this could happen again. I'm never going to be too busy to talk to you, brat. You're more important to me than some stupid Captain's position." He said honestly. Dilan looked slightly shocked at that.

"I-I am?" She asked. Levi rolled his eyes and flicked her on the forehead. "Ow." She pouted.

"Yes, idiot. You're my best friend and the only person I don't have to put up a front around. You're fucking annoying but I need you in my life. I'll always make time for you when you need me." Levi replied, biting back a smirk of amusement when Dilan blushed a bit. Red looks good on her. Shit, shut the fuck up brain. "But I'm not a fucking mind reader so you have to make the first step. Deal?" He asked. Dilan smiled and nodded, getting settled into the covers.

"Deal." She smiled gratefully. Levi gave a small smile back and there was a moment of peace before the brat looked kind of flustered. Levi raised an eyebrow at her. "Is it okay that I'm in your bed?" She whispered, even though they were alone. Levi chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"For tonight, it's fine. I don't think you should be alone, even if your mostly out of it." Levi pointed out and Dilan looked relieved, clearly agreeing. "We'll just get up early before anyone else does." He shrugged. Dilan nodded in agreement.

"Thanks. Night grumps." She smiled, closing her eyes. Levi smiled, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

"Night brat." He replied, closing his own eyes, fully aware their hands were still linked together but he decided not to care for one night. Holding her brought him more comfort than he cared to admit. From the smile on Dilan's face, maybe it comforted her too.

DILAN'S P.O.V.

Dilan scrunched up her nose in annoyance as the warm sun poured from the window and attacked her face. The fuck? I always shut my curtains. What is this shit? Dilan thought with a frown before she forced her eyes to blink open and everything came back to her as she saw Levi asleep on the bed next to her.

She smiled subconsciously. He had really held her together last night. She was so lucky for her friend.

Dilan realised she didn't have any nightmares despite the earlier incident, and it looked like Levi was having a pretty peaceful sleep too. Dilan wondered why she always slept better when he was there. She guessed it was because of the added protection he brought her. What else could it be after all?

Dilan sat up a bit, having a weird urge to brush the black bangs out of Levi's face where they had fallen in front of his eyes during the night but quickly dismissed the thought, labelling it rather weird. She looked around and her eyes widened in dread when she glanced at the time and realised how late it was. They were a full hour late for training.

"Holy shit! Levi wake up. We're so fucking late." Dilan urged, shaking his shoulder. Levi groaned and slapped the hand away.

"I'm tired brat, leave me alone." He mumbled. Dilan cursed as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs and clearly Levi came to his senses as he bolted up, wide eyed as they both listened to the whispers outside the room.

"Should we knock?" Dilan heard Petra ask.

"We were told to stay away from his room." Gunther pointed out.

"Yeah but he's an hour late and Dilan's missing. What the fuck are we supposed to do?" Eld asked and the four continued to debate as Dilan and Levi froze in panic. This was very, very bad. Why the hell did they wake up so late?

'What do we do?' Levi mouthed.

Dilan bit her lip as she quickly formulated a plan, standing up quietly and grabbing the uniform Levi had neatly laid out like the clean freak he is and throwing it at him before pointing at the balcony. Levi nodded quickly and stood up, ripping off his tank top and going for the shirt, inadvertently giving Dilan a delicious view of his 6 pack and she had to stop herself from balking.

Where, the fuck, has he been keeping those? Damn Levi.

Dilan didn't have time to think about that though as the whispers continued and Levi clawed his uniform on. Dilan turned so he could dress in private and opened the balcony as quietly as possible, looking down at the high drop. They both turned, hearing a knock on the door and Levi stepped out onto the balcony with her, silently closing the door behind him. His uniform was ruffled to no end, but he could sort that out later.

"Shit." Levi cursed under his breath, looking at the minimal holds to get down. Dilan was in agreement.

"Okay this is going to be tricky. Follow what I do exactly. We don't have time to argue." Dilan said seriously and Levi nodded, trusting her judgment as he knew how good she was at stuff like this. Dilan folded up the arms on the shirt that were too big for her and stepped over the ledge of the balcony, crouching down and hanging off of the ledge, shimming herself left towards the wooden pillar. Fuck three stories.

Levi copied her movements, not without excessive cursing and Dilan managed to use her arm strength to crawl down the pole. She stopped at the second story. "I'm going to get off here, grab my uniform. We'll meet by the stables say we just came back from a 'surprise' meeting." Dilan explained. Levi nodded and Dilan climbed through the open window of the second floor, running into her room to claw on her uniform.

She grabbed her boots so they wouldn't hear her footsteps and went for the door, jolting to a stop as she heard them come down.

"What do we do know?" Stacy asked.

"Ride to HQ and see what's happening?" Gunther suggested and Dilan cursed as she heard their agreements. Dilan all but threw herself out of her bedroom window, almost falling the two story drop but managed to climb down quickly, landing on the porch and jumping over the banister to sprint to the stables were Levi was waiting, trying to sort out his uniform.

"They are fucking coming this way." Dilan panted, almost tripping over as she pulled on her boots. Levi cursed and did up his shirt buttons. They looked dishevelled enough that it looked like they were doing exactly what they didn't want the squad to think they were doing. Dilan tucked in her shirt and straightened her jacket, grabbing her horse and turning it round so it looked like they had just gotten in. They both straightened their hair from bedhead and Dilan thought they were going to pull it off as they heard the guys coming this way.

"Shit, brat. Your top." Levi hissed and Dilan looked down, cringing as there was indeed a fair few buttons on her shirt undone showing an embarrassing amount of cleavage but she didn't have time to worry about that. At least she had a bra on. Dilan turned around as she fixed her shirt, taking a deep breath in time as the squad rounded the corner and spotted them.

"Oh, you're here!" Stacy said stupidly and Levi raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Problem?" Levi asked in his bored monotoned voice. Dilan decided to stay quiet as her heart was still beating in her ears. She had never been more panicked.

"No... we were just wondering where you both were since training should have started an hour ago, sir." Eld explained reluctantly, seeming to regret his words instantly after seeing the look on Levi's face.

"Me and Dilan had an emergency meeting to go to early this morning. Erwin was supposed to send a cadet to inform you. Did he not?" Levi asked, crossing his arms. Dilan tied her horse to the pole again, trying to calm her beating heart. Realisation dawned on the squad's face.

"No sir. It must have gotten lost in translation." Gunther suggested. Levi nodded.

"I should hope you've been training in our absence. I don't tolerate slackers, no matter the circumstances." Levi said seriously and their faces paled a bit. Dilan had to break out into a coughing fit to stop from laughing. Oh, the irony. Still she managed to compose herself, patting her chest, as if something went down the wrong pipe.

"Apologies Captain. We'll start laps right now." Stacy offered in a poor attempt to save them from the Captains wrath. He took a minute to look at them, making them sweat and Dilan could barely contain her laughter before he nodded.

"Very well. Don't let it happen again." He warned and they nodded quickly, saluting before running off. As soon as they rounded the corner Dilan and Levi both collapsed, dying with laughter, trying to make it as quiet as possible. Levi hung onto his horses saddle to stop from falling over and Dilan didn't have that initiative, dropping straight onto the hay and rolling around in hysterics. She couldn't breathe but it felt fucking fantastic.

"The fuck... were you trying to do? Make me crack... after all that?" Dilan choked out, gasping. He just had to intimidate them, didn't he?

"I thought it would make it more believable." Levi chuckled, regaining his composure enough to stand and walking round to offer Dilan a hand. "Come on brat. Get off the fucking floor." He smirked. Dilan grinned and rolled her eyes taking the hand and letting her friend pull her up.

"Fuck." She breathed, calming down and brushing the hay off of her. "Did we make that way more complicated than it needed to be? I mean they wouldn't have actually gone in your room. We could have just snuck out after they went back down." Dilan mused and Levi gave her a deadpan look before whacking her up the back of the head. "Ow!"

"You fucking idiot." He shook his head in disbelief. Dilan frowned.

"You have a brain too, ya know?! I don't have to come up with all the plans!" She protested. Levi shrugged.

"Guess being around you makes me dumb. I did just willingly climb down a three-story building with you." Levi pointed out. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, ass. We've done crazier shit than that." She smirked. Levi smirked back.

"That we have. Let's go, we've slacked around enough this morning don't you think?" Levi chuckled, walking towards the training centre. Dilan scoffed.

"I'll say."


A/N: Yo! Dilan had some trouble in this one but Levi was there for her as always. He really loves her and I actually almost made myself cry at the subtle confession. I just want them to be together already but unfortunately we ain't even close. While Dilan does truly love him like she said, it is more as a friend than anything else. And she needed him to know that, especially after losing the squad and especially after dreaming about her losing her brother.

I'll have to gather some will power and make sure I don't break my timeline. We have some other things to sort out first.

However, there was a small development on Dilans part in this chapter. Subtle as it was, Dilan's brain is starting to recognise that Levi is someone she's attracted to. Of course, she won't allow herself to process such thoughts for a while but we're all about the slow progress in this story.

Thanks for reading! Stay safe! X