Chapter 4
Pony beat Darry to the grill by a yard, leaning over, hands on knees, breathing hard. After a moment, he handed the Pepsi to Sodapop. "Don't open it yet," he warned.
"Thanks. I think."
"Want help?" Darry offered.
"No, I'm good."
"Corinne said something's wrong," Darry went on, in his usual blunt way.
"Nothing wrong here," Soda answered hollowly.
"That's convincing," Pony said. Soda shot him a sour look and flipped a burger.
After a minute, Darry said, "Say, did you ever call that woman? What was her name, Maureen?"
"Shut up," Soda hissed, and Darry actually took a step away from his brother, taken back by the reaction. Pony looked from them, one to the other, puzzled.
Will walked by, reading. Soda reached over and pulled the book out of his hands. Will reached for it, expecting his happy-go-lucky uncle to grin at him and bonk him on the head before returning it. Instead, Soda almost glared at him. "Spend some time with your father," he said curtly, giving the book to Darry. "He doesn't get to see you enough."
Will gaped at him. "I –"
"I ain't kidding, Will."
Darry handed the book back to Will. "Soda –"
"See, and you're not helping either," Soda snapped. "What are you over here talking to me for? You see him twice a month. You talk to me all the time."
Darry's eyes narrowed. "You know what?" he said to Will. "Your uncle's right. Come on. We'll go down to the bookstore, stop for ice cream on the way." Before Will could render an opinion one way or the other, Darry steered him away.
"What the hell was that?" Pony demanded, watching Darry make some explanation to Corinne before he and Will got into his car. Corinne and Suzanne both turned toward their husbands. Soda grabbed Pony by the arm and pulled him around the corner out of their sight.
Pony yanked himself away. "What the Christ is wrong with you?" he said hotly. "Since when do you pick fights with Darry? And Will? Will, for God's sake! Because if this is just lack of sleep or towing a wreck or –"
"Just shut up," Soda said urgently, and something in his voice brought Pony up short. "I'm an asshole, okay, I'll call him later. Just listen to me. Remember Sandy?"
"Sandy who?" Pony wrinkled his brow. "Wait, Sandy Hinton? Your Sandy, from high school?
"Yeah. Her daughter called me."
"She's got kids?"
"One kid. That baby."
"What baby? You've completely lost me." Pony put a hand on Soda's shoulder. His brother was shaking. "What's going on?"
It wasn't until then that Soda realized Pony didn't know – he didn't know the details, anyway. He'd been in Windrixville with Johnny Cade when all that had happened, and by the time he got back, Sandy was gone. They hadn't ever talked about it; at first, Soda was too upset, then as time went on, it became irrelevant.
He closed his eyes, surprised to find he felt like crying.
"Soda, buddy –"
"She was pregnant," Soda said. "And when she told me, I figured it had to be mine, right? I mean, she was my girl, we were foolin' around. Who else's could it be?"
"I remember you wanted to marry her," Pony said slowly.
"I sure did. That week you were gone, I told Darry she was pregnant and I was going to propose. He was some pissed."
It had been a horrible fight, probably the worst fight they'd ever had, exacerbated by their worry over Pony's disappearance.
"So I went over to Sandy's to ask her," Soda continued, "and she said it wasn't mine. Her parents said she was goin' to Florida to live with her grandmother, and that was that. She was crying her head off, she said she never loved me, she'd been with other guys, all kinds of stuff. Her father just sat there, with his face all red, like he was going to up and have a heart attack. And then she was gone."
Soda met his brother's eyes. "That was one fuck of a week, Ponyboy," he said quietly. He'd never cried so much in his life, not even when his parents had died. He'd been worried about Pony and fighting with Darry and missing Sandy, and there had seemed no end in sight. He'd been utterly miserable. "Her mother finally felt bad for me and gave me her grandmother's address, but all the letters came back unopened."
"I remember that, now that you mention it." Pony rubbed at his face, trying to connect the dots. "Are you tellin' me she had this baby?"
Soda nodded. "A little girl. Well, she's grown now. Her name is Maureen."
"And this Maureen, she called you because, what? Because she thinks she's yours?"
Soda nodded.
"And … oh, my God, Soda, you think she's yours, too, don't you?"
"She says my name's on the birth certificate, and it sounds like she's got our hair."
Pony stared at him.
"And her name, before she got adopted, was Julie Diane."
"Whoa," Pony breathed.
"Yeah," Soda said miserably.
"Can you find Sandy somehow?" Pony suggested. "Maybe ask her? I mean, all these years, if she was lying, maybe she'd tell you."
"Maureen said she's dead. For ten years now." Soda banged his fist against the house. "God, Pony, I'm so friggin' stupid. How could I have believed that baby belonged to someone else? Her parents hated me, I knew that, and she was under all this pressure – how the hell could I have ever believed her?"
Pony stared at him mutely, with no idea what to say.
Soda crept out of bed at 6:30 on Sunday morning, leaving Corinne sleeping. He'd slept fitfully most of the night, imagining meeting Maureen. In his dreams, she looked like a cross between Sandy and his mother.
He'd tried a hundred times the night before, after the kids wandered off to bed, to tell Corinne what had happened. She kept looking at him, asking him without words, wondering aloud when he was going to call Darry. He was almost positive she'd understand. And if Maureen turned out to be his daughter, he was sure Corinne, when the shock wore off, would make her feel welcome. But he couldn't make it come out of his mouth. There was still a nagging doubt in the back of his mind, and if it wasn't true, why worry his wife? She wouldn't think it odd he was up and gone so early. She'd just think he was out on a tow.
He showered and dressed quickly and then, for the first time since he met his wife, Soda lied to her. He left a note claiming a breakdown on I-44, halfway to Edmond, and left the house.
