LEVI'S P.O.V.

Levi sighed as he opened his eyes to the light blasting through the curtains. He frowned in annoyance. Figures that whenever he's tired it's time to get up. Levi rolled over to get the light off of his face, cracking his steel eyes open slightly. When he saw the brat lying a few inches away from him, they blew right open. Levi bolted upright, looking at her sleeping and trying not to panic. Why the hell is she here? Why the hell is she here? Oh shit, what happened last night? Levi raked a hand through his hair, trying to recall what the fuck happened before he fell asleep.

Suddenly it all came back to him and Levi sighed in utter relief, leaning back on the headboard. They had gotten back from their trip to the underground late at night when everyone was still asleep. Since neither Dilan nor Levi were tired yet and it was raining outside, they went back to his room since it has the nicest view and drank a few beers while they played cards.

They must have fallen asleep at some point during one of the games since there were numerous random cards dotted on the covers of the bed. Levi grimaced at the mess but was thankful anyway for the explanation. He didn't do anything. He didn't confess, he didn't kiss her, he didn't sleep with her. He was still her Captain, still her best friend. Everything was as it should be, even if the continuity hurt him.

Levi checked the time, thankful that it wasn't that late. He had to be careful when Dilan was around. He always seemed to sleep so comfortably. They didn't want a repeat of what happened last time, even if it was rather hilarious.

Levi stood up with a sigh and collected the cards, putting them in their packet and back in his beside draw. He put the beer bottles to one side and checked the time again. Dilan should really leave now if she doesn't want people to see her coming down from his room.

Levi looked at her, reluctant to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, the opposite of Levi last night. When that piece of shit touched her Levi completely lost it. He succumbed to his bloodlust so easily. If Dilan hadn't stopped him... well that man would be dead. He was normally more in control but when it came to Dilan all bets were off the table.

He had barely managed to keep it together when Dilan told him the truth. That she was raped when she was younger too. Levi knew it had happened but a part of him just wanted her to tell him nothing did. That she was fine. But life's not like that. The scared look on her face after she finished telling him what happened almost broke his heart. He vowed then and there to make sure nothing like that would ever happen to Dilan again. He would protect her from now on.

Dilan stirred a bit in her sleep, causing a few strands of hair to fall in front of her face. Instinctively, Levi gently brushed them out of her tanned face that always seemed to glow in the beams of the sun spilling through the curtains. Dilan smiled a bit, smoothing her cheek on the pillow. Levi's pillow. Levi hesitated before pulling back, his hand forming into a fist and resting at his side. He wasn't supposed to do that. Man, you really are a weak piece of shit. You know that?

"Levi?" Dilan asked. Levi looked down realising Dilan's eyes were now open, and she was yawning a bit, rubbing her eyes. He ignored how cute she was being and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"Finally. Get the fuck up, unless you want a repeat of last time?" Levi raised an eyebrow, amused as Dilan gasped and shot up.

"Shit, what's the time?" She whispered. Levi smirked and shook his head.

"It's fine, we've got time. No one should be up yet." He explained and Dilan sighed in relief, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't even remember falling asleep. How many drinks did we have?" Dilan scrunched up her nose. Levi looked at the bottles he collected.

"At least 5 each. How's your head?" He smirked. They both knew he had a high tolerance, so he rarely got drunk and never got hungover. Dilan on the other hand was a bit of a lightweight. But she only ever got properly drunk when it was just him and her since she still didn't trust the others enough to be that vulnerable around them. Guess Levi was the only one that had the privilege of drunk Dilan. She was kind of a blast, kind of annoying and kind of an honest idiot. Dilan glared at him.

"Fuck you. It hurts." She huffed, getting up out of the bed and groaning quietly in annoyance. Levi sniggered, rolling his eyes as he made the bed. Dilan helped him before moving towards the door.

"Oh, Dil." Levi called as Dilan put her hand on the doorknob. Dilan looked back at him. "I have a meeting with Erwin first thing so you're in charge of training until I get back." Levi explained.

"Okay." Dilan smiled and nodded in understanding before leaving the room, closing the door behind her. Levi sighed, ignoring how whatever room he was in always felt so empty once Dilan left it, and moved to get ready for the day.

DILAN'S P.O.V.

Dilan came into the kitchen where everyone was located, smiling as they all greeted her. Levi had left some time ago now, so it was her day to train the kids. Dilan ruffled Stacy's hair before grabbing an empty seat and stealing the toast that Gunther had just finished buttering.

"Hey!" Gunther complained. Dilan simply smirked and took a bite.

"Captain's gone so I am in charge and I'm confiscating this because... well, I'm hungry." Dilan shrugged and the others laughed while Gunther frowned, grumbling while he got up to make another piece of toast.

"You know, you steal his food about 5 times every month." Eld pointed out with a snicker, sitting down at the table next to her. Dilan laughed.

"Well the first time I did it, I wanted to piss him off. Now it's tradition, right bud?" Dilan smirked as Gunther turned to glare at her.

"I hope you choke." He deadpanned. Petra gasped while Dilan and the others laughed.

"Gunther, you shouldn't say stuff like that! What if she actually chokes!?" Petra exclaimed. Gunther shrugged and got back to his toast making while Dilan rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine Petra. Now, let's talk training. Want me to go easy on you or hard?" She grinned as the others groaned.

"Oh god, let it be easy. I have a wicked hangover." Stacy mumbled, leaning her head on the table. Dilan blinked, exchanging glances with the others who also looked confused. They had all agreed never to let Stacy drink again after their fuck up on the first night considering she was still underage.

"Stacy... who let you drink?" Dilan asked slowly. Stacy tensed a bit, looking up at Dilan, panic in her eyes.

"I... I um..." Stacy stuttered, her eyes flicking over to Gunther who was focusing intently on the task at hand. Dilan frowned, locating her culprit.

"Gunther." She said lowly. He tensed. "I want the truth in five seconds before I start kicking asses." She warned. Gunther turned around with a guilty expression.

"It wasn't his fault, Dil, I swear. I asked him to sneak me some, I wanted to play one of Section Commanders drinking games because I was bored!" Stacy tried to explain. Dilan was not impressed. "Please don't be mad. I'm almost seventeen anyway and the expeditions coming up. I felt like I should get one more drink in... you know?" Stacy mumbled the last part, looking at her hands as the atmosphere turned solemn. Dilan could see she was worried. It was her first expedition after all.

Dilan sighed, patting the girl on the head.

"It's okay, I'm not mad. But don't do it again, okay? We'll have a big party on your birthday but until then you've got to stick to the rules. Besides from now, none of us should be drinking. We've got to stay sharp for the expedition because all of us are making it back. Understood?" Dilan asked the room. They all smiled and nodded. Stacy sighed in relief and smiled.

"Yes, Dilan." She replied. Dilan nodded in approval, standing up as Gunther sat back down and grabbed his next slice of toast as he finished buttering it. Gunther looked up at her with wide, exasperated eyes.

"Punishment for giving alcohol to a minor." She shrugged, smirking as she left the building and the others laughed at Gunther's annoyed face.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

"So, Levi, how's everything going?" Hanji asked as she trotted alongside him as he headed towards Erwin's office. Levi sighed in annoyance.

"Fine." He replied briefly. Hanji chuckled at his bluntness.

"Okay, well, how's everything going with Dilan?" She smirked as Levi tensed up a bit before regaining his composure.

"Don't you have some titan shit to examine or something?" He spat, convinced she was only going on this trip with him to annoy him. Hanji had already bragged about it being her day off today. Hanji laughed.

"My, my, Levi. You really don't know anything, do you? Titan's don't defecate." She cackled like Levi had just said the most hilarious thing in the world. Levi turned to give her a deadpan look.

"Fuck off, glasses." He said seriously before continuing towards his destination. Being around Hanji was insufferable recently. All she wanted to talk about was Dilan. And Dilan was all Levi wanted to forget about for five fucking seconds. She occupied his mind most of the bloody day as it was. He didn't need to hear it from Hanji too.

Hanji snorted and caught up to him.

"You're moody today." She pointed out. Levi rolled his eyes.

"I'm moody every day." He sighed as they got outside Erwin's office.

"True-" Hanji started but Levi stopped her as he thought he heard Dilan's name. Levi looked at the door, realising whoever had just entered left it open a crack by accident, meaning they could hear the conversation inside.

"-and you visited them recently?" Erwin's voice asked. Interested, Levi lent a bit closer to the door. Thankfully Hanji stayed quiet and did the same.

"Indeed." Mike replied. Levi guessed they had a meeting before his about Mike re-joining the corps as an official member.

"Did you notice anything of meritable change?" Erwin continued. Levi raised an eyebrow. What were they talking about?

"No sir. If Levi has found out yet, it hasn't changed the dynamic between the pair. They seemed perfectly normal during my visit." Mike replied and Levi shared a look with hanji.

"What are they-?" She whispered but Levi shook his head, telling her he didn't know. He wanted to keep listening and find out then. He heard a sigh from the commander.

"Well, I suppose it's good news either way. Still I have the feeling that this information could be a ticking time bomb for the corps. On both sides of the coin. Maybe we should restart the task force and collect more information on Dilan." Erwin continued and Levi's eyes widened. What information had they gathered? A task force?

Levi thought Hanji was in charge of that? She had shut that down a year ago now.

Levi looked to Hanji and from her expression she had no knowledge of this. That didn't help Levi's nerves considering she was way up the food change. They were both past Mike in status. What the hell was this about? Why was Dilan still being investigated? Surely, she has proved her loyalty by now.

"Perhaps if we find out whether or not she was close with her brother, or whether she even knows she had a brother, I can rest easier." He suggested and a burst of protectiveness flew through Levi. How the hell did they know about Dilan's brother?! What the fuck was going on?

Levi was about to storm in there and ask them who the fuck they thought they were, but Hanji grabbed his wrist, stopping him. She gave him a look to keep listening. So, he did.

"Perhaps that may be best, if it's really bothering you that much." Mike replied. Erwin hummed.

"I trust Levi, but this is something I can't leave to chance. He was always unpredictable when it came to his friends. He's unpredictable even now. He was rather close with Church if I recall. They seemed to make most of their decisions together. Magnolia was just their charity case, right?" Erwin said and Levi's stomach dropped. He was too shocked to be angry. Hanji looked at him with concern.

"Levi maybe we should-" Hanji whispered but Levi ignored her and listened on, trying to calm his beating heart.

"I'm not sure, sir." Mike said. Erwin sighed.

"Regardless of which friend he was closest with, can you imagine the drama if he found out the Church boy and Dilan are siblings of all things. God, I still don't believe our rotten luck after all this time." Erwin mumbled the last bit and Levi barely heard him. He was too busy trying not to have a heart attack.

His eyes couldn't have been wider as he stared at the floor. There was no fucking way, right? It just couldn't be true.

Farlan didn't have a sister.

Dilan's brother wasn't Farlan.

No, no, no, no, no. He refused to believe it.

No fucking way, he would have more clues. If this was true, he would have suspected it a long time ago. Besides, Farlan was always honest with them. Levi could count the number of times he had caught the blonde in a lie on one hand. No way could the idiot pull of a deception as big as this. No. Erwin was wrong. He got his facts mixed up somewhere. Right? Dilan's brother was someone else.

But as Levi thought about it, he started to change his mind...

"I wasn't fucking pretending. I just realised who I am after a day of getting physically and verbally abused. I remembered I don't belong here! I remembered no one is going to look out for me! I remembered the survey corps are a home for shitty manipulative people who enjoy turning innocent people from the underground titan chow!" She yelled back. Levi let out a low humourless laugh and crossed his arms.

"Innocent huh? That's how you describe yourself? How rich." He scoffed. Dilan glared.

"I wasn't talking about me." She said in a low voice. Levi looked at her quizzically and opened his mouth, but Mike's call cut him off.

...

"I lost someone." Dilan practically whispered, on the verge of a breakdown. Erwin's eyes hardened.

"Who?" He asked and Levi had to stop the surprise showing on his face. Seriously? This is so fucked up.

"Erwin-" He said, not being able to stop himself from intervening now but Erwin cut him off.

"Who did you lose, cadet?" He repeated in an emotionless voice. Even Mike was starting to look a little guilty now.

"You don't deserve the name." Dilan growled, looking up at him with fury in her eyes. "You're the last person in this world that deserves the name."

...

"I did. You're not so grumpy after all are you, sir?" She teased. Levi frowned deeper and slapped her hand away, sitting up too.

"You are so annoying." He hissed. Dilan shrugged with a smile, hugging her knees.

"I know. My brother used to say it was because I enjoyed people's reactions." She mused. Levi's expression softened ever so slightly.

"Your brother... he was the one you lost?" Levi questioned, carefully.

"Yes. He was taken and killed by a fucking asshole." Dilan frowned.

"I can relate." He sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

"Can I ask why?"

"I had two friends... let's just say they were killed thanks to an asshole too."

...

"You should go back and get some sleep." She suggested. Levi smirked a bit, closing his eyes.

"Wish I could." He sighed. Dilan frowned before realisation filled her face.

"Insomnia?" She asked. Levi nodded. "Doesn't sound fun. My brother used to know someone with insomnia. A friend." She mused. Levi glanced at her.

"Did he figure out how to get it to fuck off? I could use some pointers." Levi asked. Dilan smiled apologetically.

"Sorry. If he did, I'll never know. My brother died and that was my link to them gone. I was never allowed to meet my brother friends." Dilan sighed, frowning with a bit of annoyance. Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Why?" He asked. Dilan shrugged.

"Guess he wanted to keep me safe. He said he trusted them, but I was too important to risk getting caught up in what they were doing." She explained, absentmindedly playing with the chain around her neck. Levi nodded a bit.

"Older brother then?" Dilan nodded. "Makes sense. Probably a good idea. You must have been young." He commented. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"I was 15, thank you."

...

"Mike wanted to ask you something." Levi interjected bluntly, seeing behind Mikes whole making conversation thing.

"We're recording linages. I was wondering if you have a last name?" Mike asked. Levi watched as Dilan immediately tensed up.

"No." She replied quietly.

...

"I-I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'm pathetic." She whispered shakily; self-hatred clear in her tone. Levi swallowed down the lump of emotion that had formed seeing her like this.

"Everyone has slip-ups, Dilan. You can't just heal because you want to. It takes time." He explained gently, moving her arm to rest on her stomach facing upwards before picking her up carefully, making a mental note to come back and clean up the blood once Dilan was okay.

"What's... point? I killed Fa... and I killed the squad too. I'll kill you next, you... need to leave me alone..." She mumbled and Levi barely caught half the words. Did she say a name? It was vaguely familiar.

...

Farlan got 4 pouches and a sliver necklace in the shape of a crescent moon, a blue gem in the top.

"Wow! That's so pretty!" Izzy gasped, snatching the necklace. "Can I have it? Can I?!" She begged. Levi rolled his eyes and put it in the bag.

"You know the rule, Izzy. Don't get attached to steals. We need money more than shiny things." Levi scolded. Izzy sighed but nodded in understanding.

"I'll go pawn it. I know a place." Farlan offered, grabbing the bag. Levi looked at him with narrowed eyes as Farlan scratched the back of his head as he stood up. He only did that when he was nervous. Farlan was about to hide something from them.

"Sure." Levi replied, wanting to see how it played out. Farlan nodded and walked off. Levi and Izzy waited a while before the redhead got bored and dragged him to the market. Levi bought her a roll and she shut up for a while as she scoffed it down.

Levi scanned the area for his tall friend, doubling back when he saw him in the corner of the market. He was crouching down next to a kid. A girl, it looked like but Farlan was blocking her face. All Levi could see was long black hair and tanned skin. He watched with curiosity as Farlan took the necklace from earlier and put it in her hand. The girl barrelled into him in a hug and Levi tilted his head slightly in confusion as Farlan smiled and hugged her back. Who was this kid?

"Who's that with Far?" Izzy asked as Farlan said something and the mysterious girl skipped around the corner.

"Not sure. Don't mention it to him." Levi ordered. Izzy blinked up at her brother.

"Why?" She questioned.

"I don't know yet. But I'm going to find out."

...

"Who was the kid?" Levi asked bluntly and Farlan froze, slowly turning back round to face him.

"What kid?" He asked. Levi glared at him.

"The kid you gave the necklace to today. Who was she?" Levi persisted. Farlan sighed and rubbed his messy blonde hair.

"Caught that, huh?" He mumbled. Levi gave him a look.

"I catch everything, Far. What the hell are you doing giving away a valuable piece like that?" Levi asked, a tinge of annoyance seeping into his voice. Farlan sighed, looking down at his feet like a guilty child.

"I'm sorry. I met her yesterday. She was half dead on the streets, and I gave her some food. She told me she has a brother to look after and their both starving. I hoped the necklace would buy them a bit more time." He admitted remorsefully.

"You're just prolonging their suffering. You can't save everyone." He pointed out. Farlan nodded.

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again. You can take it out of my cut if you want?" Farlan offered. Levi rolled his eyes at the suggestion. He wasn't going to punish him for being a good person. He may be the leader of their operations, but he wasn't a fucking dictator.

"It was your steal. Your shitty decision to make." Levi said, monotoned. Farlan cracked a grateful smile. "Just don't let it happen again or I'll kick your ass. If we're getting out of this hell hole, we can't afford to do shit like that." Levi warned. Farlan nodded in understanding.

"Yes boss!" He teased before saluting his hand to his forehead and leaving the apartment. Levi sighed in annoyance, wondering why he ever made friends with the stupid blonde in the first place.

...

"Dilan... this is fairly hypocritical of me to ask considering I shut you down in there but... were you raped as a kid?"

"Yeah. I was fourteen. My brother was with his friends on 'business' so I was wondering round stealing what I could. Stupidly, I had been starting to stray away from the markets during my rounds since I had found some interesting people with big wallets away from the crowds before. I ended up outside Jack's whore house, we've stood in the place I was grabbed. I wasn't that strong back then, but he had caught me off guard regardless. I passed out pretty quick from the pain, but I'll always remember it."

Dilan swallowed, crossing her arms over her chest in an attempt to supress a shiver.

"I woke up inside the shitty place, had a delightful conversation with jack and high-tailed it home. I didn't intend on my brother finding out, but he had contacts. You know what the worst part was?" Dilan gave a small humourless chuckle. "The look on his face. The guilt. The fact that my stupid decisions made him look like that." Dilan said quietly, a rogue tear rolling down her cheek.

...

"Who?" Levi asked simply. Farlan blinked out a few more tears and opened his mouth but hesitated and shook his head. Levi sighed as Farlan collapsed, still gripping Levi's collar as he leant his head on his shoulder. "Jesus, Farlan. You're a mess." He mumbled, awkwardly patting his back to try and comfort him. He wasn't the best at comfort. Maybe he should get Izzy back out here.

"I'm sorry Levi... I can't tell you. She's too important." Farlan mumbled. Levi raised an eyebrow. Did Farlan have a secret girlfriend or something? If he did that would make things a lot more complicated. Would he want to bring her up to the surface? Would he want to stay behind for her? Levi had noticed the man put away all his extra cash somewhere. His clothes remained tattered and he lived in a hole. Maybe he was saving up a citizenship for her?

"Far, what happened?" He asked quietly one more time, hoping his friend would open up. Farlan sniffed and Levi tried to ignore the fact the man was dirtying his shirt. He would let it slide just this once.

"A man... attacked her... she keeps denying it, but I asked around... he hurt her, I can see it in her eyes! He hurt Di..." Farlan mumbled. Levi didn't catch half of what he was saying. Who's Di? Levi sighed; whoever it was she was important to his best friend so by extension she was important to him.

Di. Di. Dil. Dilan... holy fuck...

Levi took a step back, feeling like he was about to throw up. It couldn't be true. There had to be an explanation for this.

"Levi, Levi are you okay?" Hanji asked, worried. Levi blinked out of his trance, swallowing hard. He felt pale and from the look on Hanji's face he probably looked it too.

"I... I need to go." Levi mumbled, dropping his files. They collected in a disorganised heap on the floor and Levi didn't have the energy to care about the mess as he turned around and walked away, trying not to fall over in his shock. Hanji called for him to come back, but Levi didn't listen. He couldn't...

Shit, he couldn't breathe.

Levi made it to the stables, thankfully without anyone seeing him. Fucking hell, it had been a long time since he had a panic attack. He forgot how uncomfortable they were. Levi stumbled into his horse's stall and sat down with his head in his knees, trying to compose himself and take the air into his lungs.

He couldn't believe it. No. He refused to. Because if it was true, that meant he had to sought through a lot of thoughts that he wasn't stable enough to do right now. Levi blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over the edge. He wished Dilan was here and at the same time, she was the last person he wanted to see right now. Not until he sorted this out.

Wait... that's it. He needed proof. Nothing was fact until proven. This could be all some strangely realistic coincidence, right?

Levi ignored the part of his brain that told him he was grasping at straws and saddled his horse quickly, galloping full speed ahead to the underground.

DILAN'S P.O.V.

"Alright cadets. Today we will focus on what you suck at terribly. Which is, Petra!?" Dilan asked the strawberry blonde girl. Petra smiled while the others rolled their eyes.

"Combat!" She said proudly and the others groaned in annoyance.

"Dil, we did combat last time and we did it for 6 hours straight." Stacy complained. Dilan rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and we still suck at it. Stop questioning the second in command." Eld scolded and Stacy pouted. Dilan sent him a grateful look and led them over to the man sparing platform. She hopped up in the centre, looking at them and choosing her target.

"Eld, get up." She motioned and Eld nodded, stepping in the ring with her. "Today I'll show you how you use an opponents' size against them. Eld is clearly taller than me which to the blind eye, gives him the advantage." Dilan said, circling her prey. Eld watched her nervously. "But the bigger they are-" Dilan punched him between the shoulder blades, kicked a weak spot in his spine and swept his legs. "-the harder they fall." Dilan said in satisfaction after Eld fell on the floor like a pile of jelly, groaning in pain.

"Woah..." The others said in awe. Dilan chuckled, crouching down by Eld.

"Sorry green. You alright?" She asked, tilting her head. Eld let out a breathy chuckle.

"Other than the fact I can't feel my bones, fine." He groaned but managed to stand up and hobble out of the ring. Dilan turned to the others and smirked at their pale faces.

"Who's next?" Everyone gulped.

LEVI'S P.O.V.

After getting down the stairs, Levi took to the air, using his 3DMG to move fast, not even caring that it was broad daylight and Military police could start chasing him at any moment. This was too important.

The wind smacked him in the face as he flew, dodging buildings left and right. He used Dilan's method to get there fast, utilising his gas too, in order to gain the maximum speed possible.

This would give him answers right? It was all a joke. Some sort of sick, messed up joke that involved everyone. No way were Dilan and Farlan related. He knew the man for 10 fucking years. He wasn't that oblivious right?

Levi winced as a pain erupted in his head. He shook away the discomfort and landed, running the last stretch towards Farlan's home. The home you were never allowed in. But Levi ignored that thought, moving a plank of wood out of the way and climbing into the cave.

It was dark and damp. He could barely see a thing.

Drip.

Levi ran his fingers along the side of the wall, coming away with some sort of wet substance he hoped was water. Did Farlan live like this? Why would he do that?

Levi narrowed his eyes, hoping for something. He caught the faint sent of oil and carefully edged forward until he met some sort of table or something. Hoping to god he wasn't about to touch anything dirty or alive, Levi reached out, flinching a bit as he was met with something cold.

Metal.

He felt the shape, sighing in relief when he realised it was an oil lamp and patted the table around for some matches, hoping Farlan was smart enough to leave them next to his only light source.

Levi frowned while he searched coming up with nothing. Taking a shot in the dark, literally, Levi crouched down next to the table-like-thing and checked around in case the matches had fallen off at some point. Bingo. Levi sighed in relief and opened the box, taking out a match and lighting the lamp, filling the space up with an eerily glow, while darkness remained in the corners of the cave.

Drip.

It was bigger than Levi expected it to be from the outside. The walls were wet and jagged, the was floor uneven and looked as though someone had put down planks of wood, nailing them together in an attempt to make a small flat area for them to sleep on. On the right of the cave was a makeshift chest of draws, a few boxes on the top. In the centre of the room was a table with two chairs. On the platform of wood was what Levi assumed to be the sleeping area. One sleeping bag was blue, laid out. The other grey one was rolled up and propped against the wall, another oil lamp in between. Levi shivered, trying his best to ignore the dreaded bile rising in his throat.

He crouched down to light the second oil lamp and the room was illuminated a tiny bit more. He swallowed hard as he noticed cogs and springs and harnesses in the corner that were unmistakably 3DMG. Farlan's was confiscated when Levi's was meaning this was someone else's.

Levi's heart started to pound, and he turned, feeling like the walls were trying to trap him. He needed to get out of here. Now. These were not the answers he was looking for. Farlan definitely lived with someone here. But that didn't mean it was Dilan, right?

Drip.

"Shit." Levi muttered, eyes wide as the light shone on the wall and illuminated irrefutable proof. It was a height chart. Not only was it in Farlan's shitty handwriting but it had Dilan's name carved into the stone with a sharp rock from ages 3 through 15, when Farlan left. When he died. When Levi killed him with his stupid mistakes. When Levi took Dilan's brother away from her.

Which is why she was alone for three years. Why she started hurting herself just to feel something other than the emotional torment she felt every day. Why she stopped caring whether she lived or died. Why she had to start killing people just to make a living.

Levi stumbled back into the chair, staring at the chart in disbelief.

He killed her brother.

How was she ever going to forgive him?

Drip.

HANJI'S P.O.V.

"Yah!" Hanji urged her horse faster, wanting to get to the Inn as soon as possible. Levi probably went there right? Where else would he go? Hanji couldn't deny she was nervous, she had never in her life seen Levi was such emotion on his face. He looked completely distraught, it really phased her. And she couldn't blame him either. Who would have thought his fallen best friend was a brother to his current one. A girl he liked, despite never fessing up to the fact. A girl Hanji was pretty sure was his soulmate.

To know your best friend had been lying to you all that time, had to blow. To hear it from two old blonde men who had been keeping the information to themselves for god knows how long had to hurt even more. Levi was not good at expressing his emotions which is why Hanji was worried at how he was going to deal with this.

This was too big to shove down like he does with everything else. Which is why she was hoping with all her heart the grumpy man had the good sense to go to Dilan and talk it out. She was the only one Levi was real with. They just needed to have a good old heart to heart. Everything would be fine right? She just had to ride for a few more minutes and she'd see Levi and Dilan conversing contently, calling each other variations of the word idiot.

"Section Commander Hanji! Why are we going so fast!?" A distress Moblit asked as Hanji made a sharp left to avoid a tree.

"Because this is a matter of urgency Moblit! Hurry the fuck up!" She yelled back, pushing her horse even further.

Hanji didn't stop when she reached the front of the house, continuing round the back and jolting to a stop in front of the training ground, steading her steed as he reared a bit.

"Okay now- wait. Hanji?!" Dilan paused in what she was saying, turning to her as Hanji jumped off her horse with haste and ran over to Dilan.

"Dilan is Levi here?!" She asked frantically. Dilan blinked and stepped out of the ring, sensing her tone.

"No. What happened?" She asked seriously. Hanji looked at the cadets and Dilan took the hint. "Guys go pair up and spar. Apply the techniques I was telling you about but avoid the spine since without supervision you'll end up paralysing each other." Dilan ordered and they nodded seriously, moving to the other end of the training fields. Dilan turned back to Hanji and the brunet took a breath, adjusting her glasses.

"Levi really isn't here?" She asked, praying somehow Levi was going to materialise behind herself.

"No, he left for his meeting early this morning. I haven't seen him since. Why?" Dilan asked again, concern in her eyes. Hanji bit her lip in deliberation. "Hanji, what happened? Is he hurt?!" Dilan asked, panic in her fast tone. Hanji decided not to tell Dilan just yet. She needed to discuss it with Levi first. Dilan wasn't completely stable. Hearing shocking news like this could cause a relapse into cutting.

"He's fine, Dilan. I uh..." Hanji internally panicked, thinking of a possible excuse to her behaviour. She found the perfect reason and forced a grin. "I wanted him for an experiment!" She stated, forcing her natural gleeful tone. Dilan sighed in relief and gave her an exasperated look.

"Fucking hell, Hanji! You almost gave me a heart attack! Look, Levi isn't here but I have training right now." Dilan said in an annoyed tone, giving her a glare. Hanji chuckled, patting her friend on the shoulder.

"Yes, yes of course. My apologies, Dil. Talk to you later!" She grinned, running back over to her horse and mounting it, riding towards Moblit who was still on his.

"What now section commander?" He asked. Hanji sighed, her face grave.

"Go enjoy your day off, Moblit." She instructed, moving towards the compound. Moblit blinked at her.

"What will you do?" He asked.

"I'm going to wait." She answered before riding off towards the gate.


And wait she did. It took all fucking day and the sun was setting in the sky before Hanji saw Levi on his black stallion, riding towards the headquarters slowly. Hanji got up, cracking her back which was aching from sitting on the hard stone all day. When Levi passed the gate and saw her, his eyes were dull, and he looked lifeless.

Hanji tried to force down her nervousness.

"Are you going to tell her?" Hanji asked softly. Levi seemed to tense slightly before he looked straight ahead.

"No." He mumbled before riding off. Hanji watched her friend go with a heavy heart. Unless she did something, this was going to ruin his mental health beyond repair. But... would Levi ever forgive her if she interfered with something as important as his friends?

LEVI'S P.O.V.

Levi arrived at the inn late. It was dark outside, and he knew everyone would be asleep. Well... mostly everyone.

"You're late. Like really fucking late. Where the hell have you been, Levi? I've been worried." Dilan asked walking towards him from where she had been sitting in the lounge. The fire was roaring, she must have been waiting up for him. He couldn't judge her concern. That early morning meeting, he didn't even end up going to, took the whole day.

Levi looked at her but couldn't meet her eyes. Everything was different now. He killed her brother. He was the source of her pain.

"It's fine, Dilan. Go to sleep." He replied, walking past her, up the stairs, towards his room. Dilan followed him.

"No. I want to know what the fuck is going on with you, Levi? I tell you everything, everything. Why do you hold back on me?" She asked desperately and Levi's heart lurched, but he remained firm and continued walking. Dilan grabbed a handful of the jacket on his arm before he reached the second flight of stairs. "Why won't you let me help you? Don't you trust me?" She whispered, hurt evident in her tone. Just add that to the long list of pain I've caused her.

"There's nothing you can do. Get to bed. That's an order." Levi said in a cold voice, shrugging off her hold and heading upstairs, leaving Dilan at the bottom of the staircase by herself. Levi got inside his room and closed the door behind him before sinking to the floor, leaning back on it. He brought his knees to his chest and couldn't stall the tears. He felt like his world was shattering in two.

Farlan had lied to him for 10 years. He didn't trust him enough to tell him he had a fucking sister.

His decisions killed Farlan, meaning all that shit that happened to Dilan was on him. If Levi had never decided to talk to Farlan that day when he was 10, none of it would have happened. He would be dead.

What's more her brother wouldn't have been out on business. She wouldn't have been alone. She wouldn't have been raped when she was 14. She wouldn't have had to deal with that pain.

Levi had gone a step further by betraying his dead best friend. He forced Dilan into the same situation they were put in, cursed her to the same life that killed her brother. He treated her like shit over and over. Called her nothing. Called her scum. He had tried to kill her. He had tried to kill his Farlan's little sister.

Levi bit his lip to muffle a sob as he leant his head on his knees, feeling the tears drip off his chin.

If he had been better, if he had done better, he could have saved Dilan from that hell she was trapped in for a month. He could have prevented it all together. He could have prevented Dilan all that pain. Prevented Farlan's sister all that pain. If he was stronger, he could have saved the squad. He could have stopped Dilan from cutting herself again.

And finally... he fell in love with her. He fell in love with his best friend's sister. He'd been disrespecting him all this time from fighting with Dilan to falling for her. Nothing he did was right. He was the curse that Dilan had been fighting for years. All the shit that happened to her. It was on him.

Levi took a shaky hand, pulling out the knife from his belt. The knife Dilan had got him for his birthday that she annoyed him into telling her, the 25th of December. He looked at his distorted reflection in the shiny steel, watching as his tears collected on the surface. One word came to mind.

Pathetic.

Levi rolled up his sleeve and pressed the blade to a clear patch of skin just below his elbow. Dilan made numbness sound so amazing. There had to be a reason why she did it right? Regardless, Levi wanted the pain. He deserved the pain. And with that thought, he sliced.


A/N: Damn. Levi is not in a good place.

The thing with Levi and Dilan is that they are so similar (hint to the title) and one of the things that they both struggle with is dealing with emotions, especially emotional pain.

In fact, in some areas I'm pretty sure Levi is worse with emotions than Dilan. While most of the time Levi is in control, things are different when it comes to his friends. Their deaths left a scar so deep that it still affects him. He still blames himself. To know that his actions not only caused their deaths but triggered all that pain Dilan went through in the underground by herself, to know that what he did caused the woman he loved to go through all that pain is devastating to him.

He was so overwhelmed he needed to take some control back. Unfortunately cutting was the first thing that came to mind. Right then and there he needed to feel numb.

Hopefully Dilan will be able to reach him before he gets too deep.

On a less depressing note we finally got here! Sure, Dilan has no idea but we are one step closer to the reveal. I wanted to stay a thank you to everyone who has suck with me all this time, keeping me motivated with your amazing comments. I appreciate every single reader of this story. Writing this is what is currently keeping me going so thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read what I've written. It means a lot.

Stay safe out there! X

[Side-note: I'm aware 17 is a rather unconventional drinking age choice but it kind of just happened by accident since no one cared that Gunther drank and he wasn't 18 either so i I'm just going with it.]