"Carolina stains

on the dress she left

Indelible scars

Pivotal marks

Blue as the life she feld"

~ Carolina by Taylor Swift

Summer, 1986

"Get out you freak!" Olivia shrieked, quickly moving her arms to cover her chest. Cheeks burning, she felt the cool liquid of her tears falling as Todd slunk out of her closet and across her room. Heart pounding, she practically ran across the room to find the lock on her door. Satisfied no one would be entering her room uninvited, she turned toward her bed and practically collapsed atop the bouncy mattress. Burrowing under the fluffy bedding, she allowed the tears to flow in earnest.

Hours later, Olivia was awakened by the sound of someone attempting to open her bedroom door. Jumping, body trembling once more, she wrapped the blanket tighter despite the sweat that had steadily accumulated.

"Olivia Carolyn - why is this door locked?" Maya's voice came crashing through the door and Olivia hurriedly stood from the bed - tripping as her legs tangled in the heavy blanket. Kicking free, she stood and leapt toward the door only to realize, as her hand landed on the knob, that she was still shirtless.

"One second, mom!" She grabbed for the nearest shirt, throwing it over her head before opening the door. Maya stood on the other side, a frown on her lips.

"Why was your door locked?"

"I took a nap and…I was afraid if I left it unlocked…since no one was home…" She trailed off, fighting the urge to continue rambling.

"Todd was here."

"I…I haven't seen him." Olivia shrugged, stamping the urge to scream at the mention of her stepbrother. Olivia found herself shrinking under Maya's scrutinizing gaze, breathing an inaudible sigh of relief when she began speaking:

"Dinner is ready. Do not lock your door again."

Swallowing, Olivia nodded. She waited for her mom to disappear down the stairs before shutting her door once more and leaning against the rough wood. Heart pounding, she took deep breaths, crumbling to the hard wood of the floor.


"That's new."

"Shut up," Olivia huffed, stomping past her friend. She wrapped her arms around herself, the baggy fabric of the too-big shirt falling over her arms.

"You're in a shitty mood," Fitz observed, following her through the thicket of trees and down the winding, dirt path to their 'spot'. Grabbing at a branch she had let go, he cursed beneath his breath. "What the hell, Liv?"

She spun on him, eyes flashing, and raised a finger to angrily point as she spoke:

"You! And every other person in my life who feels the need to make remarks about my clothes. Or my body. It's old."

"I didn't – I wasn't –" Fitz protested, holding his hands up. Olivia sighed, whirling around and marching to the middle of the densely carpeted ground. She practically collapsed on the soft ground, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"I'm sorry I'm a little emotional right now."

"Is it…Have you…Is it girl things?" Fitz's cheeks were tinged a shade of red that would have made Olivia laugh in any other situation. Instead, she turned her head to the side - all the better to look up at him from beneath lowered lashes.

"It's not that, but I'm going to need an explanation for your mind going there."

"I have sisters, Liv." He almost looked relieved, allowing a smirk to fall across his lips at the first sign of a matching one crossing Olivia's features. She knew he had sisters. She'd heard him complain about them enough times. They were all older - significantly so and, with his father gone most of the time, Fitz frequently bemoaned the lack of testostorone in his home. Especially when his sisters were replaced by 'demons straight from hell' as Fitz explained the clockwork week every month that he spent entirely outdoors.

"Promise not to tell anyone?" She asked, leaning against his shoulder once he had settled into a spot near her. Worrying at her lip, his shoulder hard beneath her cheekbone, she melted further into his side when he wrapped an arm around her, fingers splayed along her side.

"Need me to pinky swear?"

"Todd hid in my closet yesterday. To watch me change."

"What the fuck?"

She jumped, not having been prepared for his reaction. He looked furious.

"That was the first time," she continued. "Or rather the first time I've caught him. I have no clue if he's done it before. It made me feel so…"

She shook her head, ponytail swaying back and forth, before collapsing back against Fitz's sturdy chest. She sighed, a sense of calm falling over her, when he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head.

"That slimey creep," Fitz muttered. "Did you tell your mom? Or Harper?"

"Harper's never there anymore and mom…She wouldn't believe me. She gave me the talk at the beginning of summer because I always hang out with you and she's convinced there's nothing else a 16 year old would want to do…"

"Liv, she'll believe you."

She huffed, linking their fingers together and holding his hands tightly against her flat abdomnen.

"Even if she did, I can't do that to her. My dad damn near destroyed her. I'm not taking Martin from her."


Summer, Present

"Did you bring sunscreen?"

Olivia jumped, startled out of her thoughts by Nat's question. She had been staring blankly ahead at the ocean, Fitz's words swirling around her head. They should have been mine. Those five words had fucked with her head in a way nothing else ever quite had.

"I think there's some in our bag. Are the kids starting to roast?"

"No! But you look like you are." Nat turned toward the large, red beach tote that sat under their umbrella and rummaged around the bag until she produced a beige colored can.

"I'm –"

"You should see how red your cheeks are." Nat cut off any protests Olivia had started, spraying the sunscreen into the palm of her hand before tossing the bottle back into the bag and rubbing her palms together. She knelt in the sand by Olivia: "Stay still."

Olivia allowed the other woman to spread the greasy formula across her cheeks. A pang of guilt shot through her chest as Nat chattered on about the kids. She couldn't quite focus on the words coming from her friend - too focused was she on the thought that this nice, wonderful woman who had easily accepted her friendship with Fitz and, without complaint, played aunt to her children didn't deserve what she and Fitz were doing. Whatever it was they were doing.

"Dinner?" Olivia latched onto the one word that had managed to wiggle its way through the haze of her thoughts.

"Dinner?" Fitz's voice echoed the question from behind and, once again, Olivia's heart began to beat harder. It had been easier to act normal in front of Nat while Fitz had been off in the loo.

"Ezra and I were talking about it while we were with the kids. Another dinner and game night." Nat's smile was brillant, showing off her perfectly straight, white teeth that had Olivia subconciously covering her own mouth. "No alcohol tonight! I don't think I could handle it."

"Ah. More for me then," Fitz winked, collapsing in the sand. Olivia was suddenly grateful that Nat was sitting between them - a physical buffer.

"You better hope Liv and Ezra have the couch ready for you then."

"Ready and waiting if you're not going to walk me home." Fitz's laughter mixed easily with Nat's as she playfully shoved his shoulder.

"How have you dealt with him this many years?" She turned her sparkling gaze on Olivia, the corners of her red lips curled upwards.

Olivia placed her hands in the warm sand, using them to push herself into a standing position. Looking down at Nat, she answered:

"Easy. I learned what life was like without him."

Heart heavy, she walked away from the easy-going scene playing out between the couple. Down the beach, she found a seat amongst the mass of large rocks dotting the very edge of the sea. No one knew how or why they had come to be only on that one, small swatch of beach, but Olivia had enjoyed sitting on their warm surfaces, foot occasionally dangling in the cool water, since she was a kid.

"Hiding from everyone or can I be the exception?" Ezra's voice came to her from the edge of her rock haven. Snorting at the picture he presented, salt and pepper hair spiked from the salty water - water that was still clinging to the hair on his chest, and waiting patiently for her response.

"If anyone would be the exception…" She held her hand out, wrapping her fingers around his hand and half-heartedly pulling as he scrambled atop her rock and settled in beside her.

"That's a lie."

"Huh?" She titled her head, dropping her hand to her lap.

"We all know Fitz would be the exception first."


Not very long, I'm afraid; however, I felt this was a good stopping point. Especially as this chapter and the next 1-3 have some heavier material.

Fingers crossed for another update this week and an update for TWTWH. I'm also working on a Christmas oneshot and a little surprise.

Until next time.