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Part 2:
"He died this morning." Said a croaked voice behind me. "He lost too much blood. "
"He died this morning."
"He died "
"Died…"
I don't remember much after that. I spent the next couple of days in my room, talking to no one. I kept thinking about the last time I saw Harry Potter. In the dead room of the hospital, lying their, his magnificent eyes wide open. He seemed to be staring right into me- into my soul. He had a look that was so natural it frightened me. I left that cursed, packed room without a word.
The next time I was out of my room was at his burial. I toke care to dress as best as I could. I wore a black, long sleeved dress, black earrings and black jewelry. When I looked in the mirror I saw a person I've never met before. My red hair was almost lifeless, my freckles bright over my pale skin. My lips were a colorless line under a tiny nose. And yet, as I came down, they said I looked beautiful.
Everyone was there. Mom, Dad, my brothers. Even Percy. A lot of the survivors from the Order of the Phoenix were there, too. Most of them we met only in the graveyard. Lupin looked sad and exhausted. Even Moody was grimmer then usual. Tonks was quite as she hugged me, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hair was black and hanging loosely from her head, in respect to the dead. To my dead. To my love.
The wizard priest, a good man and an old friend of the Potters who volunteered to make the blessing came forward. He was old and retired, but his words were true and just. He told everyone what my family and friends told him. That Harry was a free soul, bound to this Earth with an impossible task. He told anyone who was there how Harry never wanted to be anything but himself. How he didn't want to be the 'Boy Who Lived'. And how now, after 17 years of misery, his soul will be truly free.
I cried silently, his warm voice roaming in my ears. Every word he said made it more then a dream. Every word he said made me realize Harry was gone.
Forever.
Now that I think back to it, I realize I should have guessed it right then. It was right in front of me. Right in front of everyone. And yet no one, not even Moody even began to suspect it.
The priest called people to say some words in his memory. He called Professor McGonagall, who came up with dignity, telling about Harry as a student. About what kind of person she saw him as. She said he was to be a powerful wizard, who should have done great good to the world.
They called Hagrid. He came up in tears, saying Harry was the bravest person he's ever met. Saying he was a true Gryffindor, loyal to his friends as well as his responsibilities.
They called many people up. Lupin, my parents, some people from the ministry. Everyone had something good to say. Everyone saw Harry as a different person.
They were all absolutely right.
Then it was my turn. As I stepped up to stand by the priest, looking at all the people I knew and loved all my life, I thought I felt something. A warm, instant feeling. The same feeling I got every time I saw him smile.
"Harry was the most amazing person I've ever met." I said at last, after long minutes of silence." He was brave, loyal, good hearted and kind. He was loving, and forgiving. He was my first and last love."
I looked over at all the people I knew all my life. All the people I loved. They were all looking at me with warm eyes. But the eyes I wanted to see most weren't there anymore.
"Harry was honest, trustworthy. " I continued my voice quite but well heard in the grave silence. "He was true to his word. But I think that the thing that really made him different wasn't any of these things." I toke a big breath. "Harry was… alive."
I looked at everyone again, afraid of their reaction. No one looked very surprised. Some people nodded in agreement, smiling at old memories. I continued with more force.
"Harry loved to live. He loved everything about life- no matter how horrible his were. He appreciated the smallest things. Family. Friends. Love. All the important things in life, that we all take for granted.
"So I came here today to pay my respect to him. To bow my head to his spirit, which I now know will be with me forever. "
I stumbled down to my parents. I felt weak. I had no idea were that came from. I never made any plans for a speech. I just said what came to my mind at the moment- which was the truth.
Ron and Hermione were called up next. They were pale, with black bags under their eyes. Seeing them, I finally realized I wasn't the only one hurt.
Ron talked about friendship. He said Harry talked to him last, that last day in the hospital. He said Harry suddenly opened his eyes, and told Ron he was going to die. He told him that he would see him someday again, but that now he had to move on. He said that he always knew he will die- deep down. He said that we shouldn't worry about him.
Ron told everyone about Harry being his first real friend, and Ron being Harry's. He talked about the life he knew Harry wanted. About a peaceful life, missing great adventures and heroic scenes. His speech was beautiful, filling me with memories of better times. I felt warm tears flooding my face. I even smiled at him as he came back down.
Hermione said Harry was determined. She said he stuck to what he believed in, and never gave up. She said that Harry could be kind even to his worst enemies if he wished, or if he had a reason to. She came down after Ron, her head lowered just as his was. They were so sad. And I didn't realize.
I stayed long after the ceremony was over, to just look at the stone that marked the spot were he would stay forever more. It was covered with white flowers. I had my own flower to give him, a beautiful white rose. Wiping my tears, I placed it on top of the other, smaller flowers. I wanted him to see it, wherever he was. To see I cared and loved him, no matter what.
The next day, after a quite dinner with everyone that came to the burial at the burrow, I woke up to my mother's screams.
I sat up as fast as lightning. Something was lying on my night table. It was a note, with Hermione's hand writing.
Ginny, we're sorry. We couldn't stand the cold.
Ron says that before he died, Harry said to tell you to look in the button left drawer.
Good bye.
I sat there for a long moment, unable to comprehend the nonsense words I just read. The cold? Does she mean that empty place inside? That empty, cold, blood freezing spot were Harry used to be?
In my emotional numbness I went to Ron's room, were Harry and Hermione slept with him. There was a dresser by Harry's bed. Slowly, as if in a dream, I opened the bottom left drawer.
A familiar scent hit me like a long lost memory. The drawer was filled with Harry's things- journals, notes, ideas. There were unfinished letters, and some he finished bet never sent. There were doodles and scribbling and made up spells. Opening some of them, I saw the world through Harry's eyes. Some drawing from school showed Ron and Hermione as lovers in denial. Some letters he tried to write to Lupin and even Dumbledore years before were full of confusion, making me understand how terrified he was of his so called destiny. It was amazing.
I went through everything, drowned in memories. I forgot about my mom screaming, about Hermione's letter, I even forgot he was dead. Until I found a little box in the bottom of the drawer, expensive looking and beautiful.
I wondered if I should open it. Here I was going through the things of a dead man. Was it fair for me to open something so private?
Then, I saw what was written on the front in Golden letters.
Ginny.
My blood froze.
Terrified of what I will find in that tiny little box, I opened it, closing my eyes. When I opened them, they went all blurry.
It was a ring. An engagement ring. Just like the one Hermione had- but with my name on one side, and 'love' on the other. It was gold, and the letters carved in bright red. It was gorgeous.
And it was too much.
All those weeks. All those months that he was in the hospital. I never cried. Sure, I shed tears. But I never sobbed, like Ron that day in the hospital. I never went down with hysterics. But this was it. Now I was mad.
How dare he? How dare he die and live me alone in this broken world he loved so foolishly? How dare he leave without even saying goodbye! And how dare he- how dare he ask me to marry him from the grave!
I closed my eyes, breathing fast. This was it. I couldn't take it any more.
I screamed.
People were running up the stairs- I think. I wasn't noticing anything. I screamed again. And again. I didn't stop screaming at all, until I felt someone grab me tightly. They were shaking me, but I wouldn't stop. I put my figures in my ears to separate me from anything in that cruel world. A world Harry didn't share a part in any longer.
I kept screaming. I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore. I let my legs stop supporting my body and let myself fall into my dad's hands. He hugged me, and I cried on his shoulder like a little girl. A little girl that lost everything she ever cared about.
I found out they had committed suicide when I woke up near noon. They jumped off of a cliff near the grave yard were Harry was. Together. Hugging. Their bodies were found holding on to each other, smashed to pieces and still bleeding. But they were dead.
'We couldn't stand the cold.
Everyone kept a close eye on me from there on. As if I was going to raise my wand and yell "Avada Kedavra!" all of a sudden. And I wanted to. Because there was no reason for me to stay alive. Not anymore.
I am betrayed. By three of the most amazing people I have ever met- who left me behind.
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