PETRA'S P.O.V.
Petra glanced at the door for the 100th time with worried eyes.
Dilan stilled hadn't come back yet.
"Petra stop tapping your foot. You're making me nervous." Oluo complained. Petra sighed.
"I'm sorry but I can't help it, I'm worried about her!" She said, rubbing her face. After what happened, the Captain had locked himself in his office and Dilan had stalked off. They had looked around, but her horse was gone. She had disappeared for 2 hours now. The team were waiting at the kitchen table, hoping she would come back soon.
"She would be here if Eld hadn't fucked up." Gunther mumbled under his breath. Eld glared at him, pulling the ice wrapped up in a cloth away from his deeply swollen, red eye for a second with a subtle wince.
"How is this my fault? The Captain is the one that lost his shit! I was only kissing my girlfriend." He huffed. Gunther glared right back.
"There's a difference between a mutual kiss and whatever the fuck you did. If the Captain hadn't punched you, I would have been next in line." Gunther growled protectively. This didn't faze Petra. Gunther was always very protective of Dilan. They were like brother and sister.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Eld snapped back.
"Boys!" Petra interrupted before Gunther could retort. They didn't need this turning violent for the second time. "Enough. This isn't helping Dilan." She pointed out. They hesitated, still glaring but reluctantly did back down. Oluo sighed, rolling a coin back and forth on the table with his head leaning on the wooden surface.
"Still, it was a little weird for the Captain to lash out like that. He's normally so calm and collected. I wasn't expecting it." He pointed out thoughtfully. Gunther sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.
"You got a point there. Who knew he cared so much? Although he's always been rather fond of Dilan." He replied. Oluo made a noise of acknowledgement but didn't reply and continued to lazily play with his coin. Petra frowned slightly in thought. It was a rather uncharacteristic reaction for the captain. She could count the number of times he had showed actual emotion on one hand, be it anger, fear, humour and she had known the man for a long time. But now that she thought about it, most of those incidents were related to Dilan.
"Yeah well maybe they're closer than we thought." Eld mumbled in a resentful tone. Petra looked at him with pursed lips.
"Eld why did you kiss Dilan like that? She's told me before that you had an agreement for no PDA, especially during work hours." Petra said seriously. Eld frowned, glancing at the door.
"Honestly, I wanted to see what the Captain would do. Kind of wish I had left it alone now. Not only did I piss off Dil... but it wasn't the dismissive reaction I was hoping for." He replied and there was silence for a moment while they all thought the same thing. Did the Captain care for Dilan more than he was letting on?
Petra let out a breath and stood up, ignoring the questions she quickly made some tea, a process she had become much better at over the years, set it on a tray and walked over to the Captain's office. She took a deep breath and knocked. She very well might not come out of this alive. There was hesitation before she heard the Captain telling her to come in.
She opened the door and the Captain looked up. Same handsome features he wore way back almost 7 years ago now when she was just a young cadet. She still loved him with all her heart. She doubted that would ever change but she had come to accept the idea that he may never reciprocate her feelings. The Captain looked slightly surprised it was her on the other side but as quick as that flicker of emotion came, it went, and he was back to being stoned face as always.
Petra had learnt to read him a lot better over the years. It was still incredibly hard to understand what he was thinking but there were times... times where Petra liked to think she could interpret the mans complicated feelings. He expressed himself differently to everyone else, but he did still have feelings.
It was like he had his own kind of language. A subtle lift of the eyebrow showed he was intrigued or interested, sometimes amused. His eyes lightened when he was content, and his face adopted a youthful expression when he did things that calmed him like drink tea or read. His eyes went dark during battle or intense training, like he was letting all his emotion go at once to fuel him, to push him to be the best. To be humanities strongest.
It was thrilling to watch, and Petra had great admiration for her Captain's skill, and a great amount of gratitude for being allowed to serve under him.
"Ral?" He asked, monotoned. Petra smiled and took a step forward, placing down the tea on his desk. It had gotten a lot easier around the Captain. Yes, she still blushed sometimes but she behaved a lot more naturally around him.
"Dilan's not back yet and she normally brings you tea at this time." Petra explained. She saw the Captain frown slightly at the mention of his second, but the emotion was gone again. Petra didn't have enough time to interpret it. It could have been guilt or anger or regret. Perhaps a combination of the three.
Levi looked at the tea before back at her. He nodded his thanks before getting back to his papers.
Petra took a deep breath.
"I-I... was hoping I could stay in here." She managed to get the words out, desperately forcing down a blush. Levi looked back up to her, arching an eyebrow. God, he looks sexy when he does that. Shut up Petra! She swallowed before explaining herself.
"I promise I won't bother you, I just... the boys are being really annoying." She mumbled, looking at her feet, feeling like this was a terrible idea. Yep. This was a really stupid idea. She could feel her cheeks heating up by the second. God, she was going to explode with embarrassment. Never had she wanted more to crawl into a hole and-
"Sit then." A low voice cut her out of her internal rant, and she blinked looking back up at him. Did she hear him correctly? Levi frowned slightly, giving her an unimpressed look, he clearly did not want to repeat himself.
Petra jumped slightly.
"Oh. Yes sir!" She replied quickly, shutting the door gently before taking a seat in front of his desk. Her eyes were wide in delight and she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling like an idiot. She was finally in here after all this time. She had never been in Levi's office for more than a few minutes at a time. Dilan was the only one he ever allowed to stay in here. It was normally to help him with paperwork. Petra wanted to be helpful and do the same, but she had no idea how to do the paperwork and she imagined Levi wouldn't want to waste time teaching her how to do it when he or Dilan could do it themselves.
It was weird sitting in front of him. She didn't know what to do with herself and she didn't want to stare at him like a creepy stalker. In the end she elected to look around the office, clasping and unclasping her hands together.
She wanted to talk to him, ask him questions, get to know him properly but even she knew that was a stupid idea. The minute she opened her mouth and became a distraction she would be ordered to leave, no question. So, she sat quietly in the peace, wondering if this is how Dilan spent her time with him. Did they talk together? Was Levi himself around her? Petra tried not to get jealous at the thought.
"How's his face?" The Captain's smooth voice brought her out of her thoughts, and she blinked back into reality to find him looking at her, not the paperwork. She blushed slightly, before registering the question.
"Um... he's got the makings of a pretty bad black eye, sir." Petra replied honestly, cringing as she did so. She couldn't exactly lie. He would see soon enough. She blinked as there was almost the faintest hints of a smirk on his lips before it was gone again. One thing was for certain. He didn't seem sorry in the slightest.
"Hm." Levi replied briefly, getting back to his work. Petra swallowed, deciding to take a leap of faith. He started the conversation. Perhaps he wouldn't mind if she continued it.
"Can I ask you a question, sir?" She asked. Levi's steel eyes flicked up to meet hers and Petra felt her pulse speed up dramatically before they returned to the papers in front of him.
He gestured towards his tea as a reply and Petra took a second to understand what he meant. She supposed it was a yes if she fixed his tea for him? She didn't want to wait for him to ask twice. This could be her only chance.
She stood up quickly and poured out the tea, stirring it with a teaspoon before placing it in front of him and sitting back down. Levi took a sip using his usual odd method of holding teacups that Petra found fascinating and kind of hot, especially as he looked at her over the rim as he took a sip. She gulped, wondering if it was legal for one man to look so gorgeous.
"Go on then." He replied, setting his teacup back down in the saucer and picking up his quill. Petra took a breath, licking her dry lips before speaking.
"I was wondering... or rather the squad were wondering... how close you are with Dilan..." She asked hesitantly, biting at her lip nervously as the Captain paused in his quill movements. She was quick to continue. "It's just back there... it was rather out of character for you to... do what you did..." She wavered slightly, unsure of what reaction might follow. There was hesitation before the Captain looked at her and she tensed.
"Is the answer to the question really any of your business?" He asked, calm as ever. Petra relaxed slightly, not hearing any anger from him. He wasn't pissed, perhaps a bit curious as to why she would risk asking such a thing.
"Perhaps not, sir. Honestly, today was weird and we just wanted a bit of clarity, but I understand it's none of my business. I apologise for asking." She replied. There was more silence while Levi got back to his paperwork and Petra was convinced that was the end of their conversation until Levi surprised her by speaking again.
"Would it surprise you if I told you I cared?" Levi asked out of the blue and Petra looked up at him in shock. He was still staring at his paperwork. "That perhaps, I'm not the cold miserable bastard you all see me as." He added, glancing up to meet her eyes. Petra had to will her jaw not to drop. The Captain had never talked this openly before. He had never shown such... vulnerability. It was exactly what she wanted to see in him. What she knew deep down was there all along.
She smiled softly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
"No sir. I believe you care a lot more than you let on." She replied honestly. A flicker of amusement crossed his features.
"Interesting. How so?" He asked, taking another sip. Petra blushed slightly. She wasn't sure how to handle this Levi. He wasn't truly himself that was for sure, Petra could see all his walls still intact, but they were lowered slightly. Right now, in this moment, he wasn't being as guarded with her as usual.
"W-well... you train us hard, so we don't die. You wouldn't do that if you didn't care." She pointed out.
"Maybe I just don't want to start again with stupid cadets." He offered. Petra chucked a bit, surprised that the Captain would make a joke, even if it was a small one.
"Maybe, but I don't think so." She shrugged. Levi hummed dismissively at that, getting back to his work. "I certainly don't think you would defend Dilan like that if you didn't care." She added, pushing her luck but she had come this far. Levi's eyes widened a fraction and he hesitated before composing himself. But that was all Petra needed to see and it made her stomach drop. "You love her." She practically whispered but Levi heard it and his head snapped up to look at her.
They stared at each other for a second, neither knowing where to go from here. It was obviously true and they both knew it. The question was how were either of them going to proceed. Would he deny it? And would she tell?
Petra was currently trying to blink back the tears. She wasn't mad at Dilan or the Captain. No one could help how they felt towards someone, she knew that better than anyone. Still, it didn't hurt any less.
Levi's face softened and he sighed, raking a hand through his hair and leaning back in his desk chair. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes for a moment. Petra looked at him in utter shock, observing the lack of walls. This was him right now. He looked so sad, so tired. Petra wondered how long he had been keeping this to himself. Keeping his feelings hidden.
Perhaps they had more in common than she once thought.
"You gonna tell?" He asked after a long stretch of silence, opening his eyes again. Petra smiled sadly, shaking her head.
"No sir, I wouldn't do that." She replied quietly.
More silence followed.
"Are you ever going to tell her?" Petra dared to ask. Levi looked at her, a very small smirk spreading across his lips. A.K.A the most emotion Petra had ever seen on him. But this had been a weird day, so she wasn't really surprised anymore.
"Getting bold, huh?" He asked. Petra chuckled and shrugged. They had come this far. Levi sighed, getting her silent point. "No. She's happy with Eld. Besides with her he can live a normal life, I can't easily give her what she wants." He replied honestly, looking a bit surprised himself that he did.
Petra was questioning if she had subconsciously put some sort of truth serum in his tea. But the more likely scenario is that he was just tired. Tired of shoving it down and wanting to be honest with someone. It was just the luck of the draw that Petra happened to be around.
While she didn't necessarily agree with his point, she supposed it was rather complicated. For one, Captains aren't allowed to be with subordinates. Both their reputations would be ruined. Second, she already had a boyfriend and third, he had no idea if she felt the same so why risk everything when there was a decent chance he could be rejected and lose it all anyway. At the end of the day he was just a person. People get scared. Petra wondered if she would ever be brave enough. It was a moot point now, but would she ever be able to confess? Get it off her chest?
"Would you ever want to tell her? To get it off your chest?" She thought aloud without thinking. She looked up at Levi and he raised an eyebrow. She backpedalled quickly, realising she'd stepped over the line. "S-sorry, forget I asked that." She blurted out.
Levi smirked a bit, rolling his eyes.
"Where'd the confidence go, huh? You were starting to unravel all my secrets." He joked lightly. Petra cracked a smile and chuckled. She really liked this side of him, but they both knew it would be gone the moment she left this office. She was never going to see this Levi again and while the fact saddened her heart, she was still honoured to have witnessed such a thing, even if it didn't last.
"Confidence is hard when you're risking your life for a question." She pointed out with a smirk of her own. Levi let out a small puff of amusement.
"Fair enough, Ral." He mumbled.
Another moment of silence and Petra decided to give him a little something before she left, as long as they were being honest with each other.
"Dilan cares for you too, sir. I can't confidently say how deeply but we've all noticed how close she lets you to her and we've all noticed how rare that is. Dilan likes her space but not with you." Petra said kindly. Levi's eyes softened a bit and he gave a grateful nod. Petra smiled and stood up, putting the empty teacup back on the tray and picking it up. "Thanks for letting me talk to you, sir. The real you." She smiled. Levi gave a very small, very brief smile back as a reply.
Petra nodded and turned, about to leave when he spoke again.
"Thanks for the tea. It's always a good day when you don't choke on tea leaves." Levi commented in an amused tone. Petra blushed beat red. How did he still remember that?!
"Sir!" She whined, turning to give him a glare. Levi let out a puff of amusement.
"Go on, you're distracting me. I have to finish these." He replied. Petra pouted, embarrassed he would bring that up after all this time but cracked a smile, nonetheless. She shook her head slightly and gave her Captain a final glance before exiting his office and closing the door behind her.
Her heart ached; she couldn't deny that. But the ache was a good one. She would always love her Captain and she would always be hoping. Perhaps one day things would change for them. Of course, if Levi found his happiness it would mean she would lose hers. Perhaps that's what loving someone meant though. Perhaps that's what Levi was doing. In order to love someone unconditionally, you have to let them go.
DILAN'S P.O.V.
"Jo-Jo baby!" Dilan grinned as the door to the cottage was opened and she managed to crouch down in time as a hyper three-year-old jumped on her, wrapping her arms around her neck.
"Dilan!" She giggled as Dilan stood up and spun her around in a circle. Dilan felt her heart warm at this girl's cuteness, and she kissed her face multiple times, earning herself a shriek of delight as Josie laughed loudly and hugged her back.
"Look at you! You've gotten so big!" Dilan smiled, setting her back down on the ground and crouching to her height, resting a hand on top of her curly brown locks. Bright brown eyes looked at her with adoration.
"I'm a big girl!" She said proudly and Dilan chuckled, ruffling her hair.
"That you are." Nanaba smiled and Josie's eyes widened, looking behind Dilan.
"Nana!" She giggled, tottering over to her and hugging her around the legs. Dilan laughed fondly, always finding the pair cute. Especially since Josie found it hard to pronounce Nanaba and ended up calling her Nana instead. The name just stuck.
"Dilan, I wasn't expecting you as well. What a lovely surprise!" Josie senior smiled warmly, and Dilan stood up to smile back. She tried to visit Josie and the rest of the Birch family at least once a month. They were lovely people and she enjoyed their company a lot.
"Yes, well technically it isn't my day off..." She chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. She was skiving off of training to be here. Mrs Birch chuckled, shaking her head slightly.
"Well, come in, come in. I made cookies and tea." She offered and Dilan cracked a wide smile, never having wanted one of Josie's cookies more in her life. They were the most delicious treat inside the walls, and she was willing to testify to that fact. She really needed it after her stressful morning. And technically stressful night. There was just a whole lot of stress and she needed a fucking cookie!
"Dilly, I-I helped Grandma make-make the cookies and-and I got to lick the spoon!" The little girl informed, bouncing up and down in excitement. The others chuckled and Dilan almost couldn't take how cute this kid was sometimes. Cassy would be proud of the wonderful little girl her daughter was growing up to be. Dilan smiled and picked Josie up, setting her on her hip.
"That so?!" She asked enthusiastically as they all walked inside. Josie grinned and nodded three times. "Well isn't that nice of you. I bet Grandma appreciated the help." She said kindly and Josie nodded again.
"She did!" Was her happy reply and Dilan laughed with the others, kissing Josie's forehead before setting her down so she could take off her shoes.
"Jo-Jo, why don't you go get your brothers and we'll all have tea and cookies." Mrs Birch suggested and Josie smiled eagerly before hurrying off in the direction of the stairs. Dilan smiled after her, pleased with the life she was having. She was glad she had managed to for fill her promise to Cassy. Josie was having an amazing life. She had a wonderful home, her family had a steady income, she had a kind guardian and cheeky big brothers, who were technically her uncles but were referred to as brothers to make things less complicated since they were only young themselves.
"So, ladies, how are the survey corps? How's Grace and the boys doing, I haven't seen them in a while." Josie asked as they moved towards the kitchen. Dilan smiled at the homey interior and sighed in content as the smell of freshly baked cookies filled her nose. They got into the kitchen and she had Nanaba took their seats as requested while Josie fixed the tea.
"The corps are fine. We've got an expedition coming up, but I think we're prepared." Nanaba replied with a sigh. Dilan nodded in agreement.
"And Grace is fine. Working hard. She plans to be the youngest squad leader to date. The others are good too, just busy with the expedition coming up. I'm proud of them, they're putting in their all. I'm sure they'll come back to visit soon, Grace especially, keeps complaining how much she misses Jo-Jo. And your cookies." Dilan chuckled, reaching for one of the freshly baked treats.
Nanaba slapped her hand away.
"Wait." She scolded. Dilan pouted and stuck her tongue out at her. Sometimes it was really hard to imagine that Dilan commanded this woman and plenty others.
Josie chuckled at their antics, sitting down.
"I'm glad all is well. I'll be praying for your safe return." She said kindly. Dilan and Nanaba nodded their thanks.
"Well... I wouldn't say all is well." Nanaba corrected and Josie blinked at her. Dilan raised an eyebrow too, wondering what she was talking about.
"Oh?" Josie asked. Dilan took a sip of the tea that the woman had set down in front of her.
"Yeah, Dil is having some boy trouble." Nanaba mentioned with a smirk and Dilan all but choked on her tea, using every ounce of will power not to spray it out in front of her and managed to swallow it down, only to have a coughing fit as half the liquid managed to go down the wrong pipe.
Nanaba laughed loudly as Dilan managed to compose herself and sent the woman a furious glare.
"I should make you run laps for that Nanaba!" She hissed. The blonde smirked.
"Technically you aren't my boss anymore. I have a higher rank than you." She teased. Dilan huffed, crossing her arms.
"Fuck you." She mumbled, hoping Josie didn't hear. From the amused smile on her face, she heard every word.
"Boy's, huh Dilan? Do tell." She smirked, sipping her tea carefully. Dilan was about to open her mouth to tell her it was nothing but Nanaba, unfortunately, was faster.
"There are these two guys, currently fighting over her. One of them is her boyfriend and the other one is her best friend. Personally, I think she has a thing for both of them, but she's never been able to admit it." Nanaba whispered poorly. Dilan's eyes widened and she blushed bright red.
"Nanaba!" She shrieked in horror. Where the hell did that come from?! Mrs Birch laughed, shaking her head.
"Troubles of youth. However, I'm sure there's no issue. You and your boyfriend seemed so happy last time you were here together." She said with a nod of endorsement, standing and moving to the draw to get out some plates so the crumbs wouldn't go everywhere.
Dilan felt herself relax slightly at that.
There... see? Me and Eld are happy.
It wasn't too long ago that she visited with him. Normally she'd just come with Nanaba or grace and the others but sometimes she brought Eld. But a lot of the other times she brought-
"Yes, I pride myself on being rather insightful on matters such as these. A little rough around the edges but a kind, handsome boy. I believe you will be very happy together." She continued, snapping Dilan out of her thoughts for the moment.
Dilan blinked. Then she blinked again. Rough around the edges? Wait... she wasn't talking about-
"Wait, are you talking about Eld or Levi?" Nanaba asked, having caught her odd phrasing too. Josie turned back around to look at them with confusion, holding the stack of plates in her hands.
"I'm talking about your boyfriend. The young man with the dark hair. He was so good with the children; I imagine he'll make a wonderful father one day." She said in approval, setting down the plates.
Dilan was left in a stunned silence as Nanaba stared at her with a raised eyebrow. She wasn't sure if she was breathing correctly but she could feel the heat creeping up on her cheeks.
Josie thought Levi was her... boyfriend?!
Granted, she did come here with him a lot, especially when they first got back home. And he was good with the children. All their time with the orphanage had really changed his mind on kids and Dilan always found it really cute whenever she watched them interact. Their orphanage trips were still going strong too, it was amazing to see how much the kids had grown up in only three years. Johnny was getting tall. He'd reach her height soon.
Regardless of all that. Levi was not her boyfriend!
"What! No! No! No! Levi is not my boyfriend, Eld is my boyfriend!" She corrected quickly; embarrassment clear on her face at the sheer mention. Nanaba continued to watch her with intrigue.
Josie blinked at her.
"Really? Are you certain?" She asked curiously. Dilan didn't know if she could be any more flustered.
What kind of a question is that?!
"Yes!" She assured quickly. Josie breathed out, setting down the plates, an expression of contemplation on her face. Dilan looked at her with wide eyes, silently begging her to say something to end her mental torment. Thankfully, Josie sat back down and looked back at her.
"Of course, my apologies dear. I've never been good with names, I suppose I was just mistaken. It seemed to me-" She cut herself off, shaking her head slightly. "No matter-"
"No wait. What were you going to say?" Dilan asked, needing to know now. Josie looked reluctant but Dilan send her a pleading look and she gave in pretty quickly.
She sighed.
"Well I don't mean to cause offense, dear but... you just seemed so happy with-" She paused, looking to Nanaba for help who was sporting a smirk that Dilan was choosing to ignore right now.
"Levi." She helped and Josie nodded.
"Levi. Don't get me wrong, you and... Eld, is it? I'm sure you make a very sweet couple. Perhaps I interpreted something that wasn't there. Don't mind me, sweetie. Forget I said anything." She assured with a smile. Dilan continued to stare at the centre of the table with wide eyes, trying and failing to supress the heavy blush as they sat for a moment in the tense silence.
"Dilly! Nana!" Josie's cheerful voice sounded as she padded down the stairs and Dilan breathed out in relief, thanking god for the distraction. She turned in her chair in time to grab Josie as she jumped, pulling her onto her lap and tickling her.
Josie shrieked, giggling and squirming around.
Dilan laughed as the boys rounded the corner. Clay and Ash rushed to hug them and said hello before hurrying to grab the cookies. Mrs Birch scolded them for being so impolite and Dilan smiled as Josie played with her necklace like she always did, even when she was a baby.
She knew she was receiving a look from Nanaba but chose to ignore it for the moment, not wanting to acknowledge what her friend wanted her too right now. She came here to escape the drama for a moment, not be reminded of it every five seconds. As soon as they were away from the children, Dilan fully intended on cursing the blonde out for that unwanted interference in her personal life.
"Dil-Dilan?" Jo-Jo asked and Dilan smiled at her.
"Yep?" She asked happily, ruffling her messy locks and Josie giggled.
"Where-where is Grumpy?" She asked, fiddling with Dilan's collar. Dilan paused before answering.
"Grumpy is busy, Jose." Dilan explained and it was true. He had been pretty busy lately. Josie frowned.
"But I miss him!" She whined.
"Jo-Jo they have very busy lives. I'm sure he'll come soon, don't be ungrateful. They do the best they can to visit you." Mrs Birch scolded gently stroking her hair. Josie suck out her bottom lip in a pout, looking at Dilan with big brown pleading eyes.
"Can grumpy come soon? Please? Pretty please?" Josie whispered poorly and the group chuckled. Dilan's eyes softened and she cracked a gentle smile. Josie completely adored Levi and she had ever since that first visit.
"I'll see what I can do. Now be a good girl and get me a cookie!" Dilan grinned and Jo-Jo grinned back, leaning over the table to grab Dilan a cookie and holding it out for Dilan to take before pulling it back and shoving it in her own mouth. The table laughed and Josie giggled loudly as Dilan gasped dramatically at the betrayal before tickling her mercilessly.
The little girl never failed to melt her heart.
After cookies, tea and playing with the adorable kids, it was unfortunately time to go. They said goodbye to everyone, Jo-Jo needing multiple hugs and Mrs Birch apologised again for her mistake about Levi and Eld, to which Dilan assured her it was fine. Even if it had fazed her a bit.
They left the cute little cottage and got back around to her their horses. Dilan was not impressed with her friend.
"I can I just point out-"
"No." Dilan cut her off with a glare. Nanaba chuckled, rolling her eyes.
"Fine. Let's go get shitfaced, yeah?" She changed the subject with a smirk. Dilan hesitated before cracking a smirk back.
"Yeah. Only if you buy the first round." She offered, mounting her steed. Nanaba laughed.
"You're on."
A few hours later and it was safe to say the pair were fucking hammered.
"ANOTHER ROUND FOR EVERYONE!" Nanaba yelled in a slurred voice, slapping Dilan on the back and she choked on her drink, almost falling off the chair. The crowd cheered loudly.
"Oi!" She complained and Nanaba sniggered, her cheeks rosy with alcohol.
"DILAN!" She whispered loudly. Dilan blinked; her vision blurry. She still couldn't believe she had really gotten this drunk. She normally didn't get this drunk around anyone but Levi. But again, she was pissed at him.
Perhaps this was a day for trying new things.
"Ye-" She hiccupped. "Yep?" She asked, steadying herself by putting a hand on the tall woman's shoulder. Nanaba sniggered again, glancing outside the window. It was dark now and they really should try and get home soon. But they had been saying that for the last 3 hours.
"I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO PAY FOR ANOTHER ROUND!" She choked out before bursting out laughing. Dilan looked at her blankly for a moment, her brain lagging a few seconds behind before she understood what the woman was saying and looked around at all the people getting another round on Nanaba's tab. She burst out laughing too.
Dilan laughed so hard she fell off of the stool and started rolling around on the floor creating a commotion.
"HEY! Get up, you're blocking the path!" The bar owner exclaimed. Dilan stopped laughing and jumped up, swallowing down the rest of her beer and grabbing Nanaba's arm, dragging them both out of the bar in a flash and laughing loudly as the owner and plenty others yelled at them to come back and pay.
"THAT WAS CRAZY!" Nanaba yelled as they got out into the open cold air and caught their breath from all the running.
Dilan sniggered, taking a step and falling straight into a wall. Perhaps they should have thought this through. They still needed to get home.
Nanaba laughed.
"Come on, ya lightweight." She smiled, putting Dilan's arm around her shoulder as they started walking to the stables.
"Thanks Nana." She smiled tiredly, leaning into her. Nanaba frowned.
"You start calling me Nana and I'll start calling you Dilly." She warned and Dilan frowned.
"Fuck you. Only Jo-Jo makes it cute!" She complained. Nanaba chuckled.
"Exactly my point." She replied and Dilan sighed.
"Fair enough."
There was a moments silence and Dilan almost fell over again before Nanaba spoke up.
"Why do you think Mrs Birch thought you and Levi were a couple instead of you and your actual boyfriend?" Nanaba asked, suddenly seeming a lot more sober. Dilan, on the other hand, wasn't. And when she was drunk, she was unfortunately very truthful.
"I don't know. Maybe because she's right-" Hiccup. "He makes me happy." Dilan mumbled, missing the intrigued look on Nanaba's face otherwise she may have realised Nanaba was not as drunk as she originally thought.
"Interesting. You have no filter right now, do you?" She smiled. Dilan shook her head. "Great. So, have you and Eld been having problems?" She asked. Dilan saw no harm.
But that was only because she was pissed beyond all logic.
"Yeah. He wants to have sex... and I don't! He keeps trying to convince me, but I just don't want to." She replied stubbornly. Nanaba's eyes softened.
"Well you shouldn't have to then." She replied kindly. Dilan smiled happily.
"Okay!" She agreed. Nanaba chuckled.
"Hypothetical question." Nanaba said and Dilan blinked.
"Hyprothotically whattie?" She mumbled. Nanaba ignored her gibberish.
"If Levi was your boyfriend, do you think he would try and convince you into sex?" She asked. Dilan smiled subconsciously and shook her head. "And why's that?"
"Because he would never do that."
"Why not?" She poked.
"B-because he's perfect." She sighed happily. Nanaba smiled.
"And why do you think he's perfect?" She asked. Dilan replied without thinking as she closed her eyes.
"Because I love him." She mumbled. Nanaba chuckled, leaning down to hoist Dilan over her shoulder. She was a very strong woman.
"There you go." She said in triumph. Dilan barely heard her. "Go to sleep Dil. I'll get you back safe." She reassured as they continued to move to the stables. Dilan didn't have the will power to protest, letting herself fade into the dark.
Dilan woke to a cracking headache, on the sofa in a random room, with a blanket over her. She frowned, sitting up a bit, wincing as she did so.
Where the fuck was she?
"Oh, you're up. Here." Nanaba smiled as she came through the door and walked over to her, passing her a mug of coffee. Dilan sighed in absolute relief and was eager to glug it down.
"Thank fuck." She sighed, not even caring about the burn in her mouth. Nanaba laughed. "And thank you. How am I here, what happened?" She asked, sitting up a bit more so her back was against the couch. Nanaba shook her head and sat down on the edge of her freshly made bed.
She certainly didn't look like she had a hangover.
"Full disclosure?" Nanaba asked. Dilan frowned but nodded, not liking the look this woman was giving her. Did something happen? The last thing she remembered was falling off of a stool and someone yelling at her. "Well, after you came into the infirmary, I hatched a plan to get you to admit something that we both already knew but I thought It would work better if you admit it." Nanaba started and Dilan was confused. She rubbed her head, trying to ignore the slight ringing.
"What are you talking about?" She mumbled.
"Well... after we got into the bar and we started getting drunk. I didn't get as drunk as you thought I did. In short, you were shit-faced, I was tipsy. I wanted you to believe I was hammered." Nanaba explained in a logical tone. Dilan blinked at her.
"Why?" She asked.
"So, I could talk to you, ask you some questions. I needed you to be honest because I didn't lie when I said I give great advice. I will go to any length to get the adequate information to provide that advice." She continued and Dilan still wasn't commuting. "So, I asked you some questions about Eld and Levi." She added and it all clicked into place.
She had been fucking interrogated last night and she didn't even realise.
"Oh shit." She looked at her with wide eyes.
Nanaba smirked.
"That's right. I got some pretty cute answers." She chuckled and suddenly Dilan was pissed.
"What the fuck, Nanaba!? That was a total invasion of my privacy!" She yelled, standing up and immediately regretting it. She groaned and held a hand to her head, sitting back down. Nanaba sniggered. "Fuck you." She spat.
"Granted, my method was unconventional, but it was necessary. Now are you going to admit it or am I going to have to tell you what you already know." She asked sternly. Dilan swallowed, feeling very much trapped. "No bullshit, Dil. I've known you long enough now. You can trust me." She said seriously. Dilan hesitated but let out a sigh and rubbed her eyes, knowing there was no point being on the defensive. She was an honest drunk so there was no doubt she told her.
"What do you want me to say Nanaba? That I'm in love with my superior? That my boyfriend has no clue? That I'm a horrible person?" She asked, deflated. She had never told anyone this before, so it was surprising how uncaring she was about it. Maybe she was just tired of hiding it. She had loved that miserable bastard for a long time. She had only just stopped hiding it from herself a year ago.
"The first bit, yes, I have no use for the other two." Nanaba replied bluntly and Dilan sighed again. "Look Dilan. I know you and I know Levi. Me and Hanji have talked about it extensively, but I needed you to admit it out loud. You love him." She said seriously and Dilan looked up at her in shock.
Was it that obvious all along?
"Now here's my advice. You need to break up with Eld because he doesn't make you happy and you don't love him. You're with the wrong person." Nanaba smiled sadly, resting a hand on Dilan's shoulder as she grew slightly catatonic.
Nanaba sighed and stood up, straightening out her uniform.
"It's early but you should probably still head off soon. I took you to my place in the squad leaders' section of the compound since when I tried to take you back home you clung onto me and begged me not to take you back. Then you threw up everywhere. Thanks for that." Nanaba chuckled and Dilan blushed with embarrassment.
"Sorry." She mumbled. Nanaba smiled and pat her on the head.
"You'll figure it out Dilan. It was just my advice; you don't have to follow it." She pointed out. Dilan nodded slowly, still picking through her thoughts. "I have to go but your horse is in the main stables, I got someone to bring it back for you since you were in no condition to ride last night. Stay as long as you like but you should head off soon. You can't avoid training for ever and we have an expedition soon, remember." Nanaba pointed out kindly and Dilan nodded again. She smiled and head towards the door, but Dilan stopped her before she got there.
"Nanaba?" She asked. The woman turned to look at her. "Thanks." She smiled. She wasn't sure if she would end up taking the advice or not, but she did appreciate how much trouble the woman went through to give it to her.
She was a true friend. Albeit a weird one.
"You're welcome." She replied with a smile before leaving the room. Dilan sighed and laid back down staring at the ceiling.
Was she really with the wrong person?
Getting back to the inn was an agonising process. Luckily Nanaba was right and it was very early. No one was around to see her struggle. She looked like shit, but she also didn't give a fuck. She tied up her horse in the stables, giving him an apple from his saddle pouch and patting him on the neck before heading inside.
Thankfully no one was up yet, and she got up the stairs, eager to retrieve a spare towel from the storage cupboard and take a quick shower. She still looked dead, but she felt a lot more awake. Throwing her clothes in the laundry basket, she rapped the towel around her body and walked across the hall, into her room which was still dark with the curtains closed. She shut the door behind her.
"So, you're finally back." Eld's voice announced in the dark and Dilan jumped, barely managing to hold the towel around herself, fairly convinced she had stopped breathing for a few seconds as Eld struck a match and lit the oil lamp, illuminating the room. He was sitting in her bed and his face was set in a firm line. He did not look happy. Dilan instantly caught the massive black eye Levi had given him and it looked a lot worse than it did before, now, purple and swollen.
Dilan had the urge to laugh but figured it wasn't the time.
"What the fuck Eld? What are you doing in my bed? You scared the hell out of me!" She hissed quietly, not wanting to wake the others. Eld stood up and walked over to her.
"I sleep in here more than I sleep in my own room, I came in here naturally hoping you would come home at some point and I could apologise to you, but you never did. I've been worried sick." He explained, concern in his eyes. Dilan let out a breath as her face softened. It was fair enough for him to be worried.
"I'm sorry but I needed some time. I was really pissed off." Dilan admitted, sitting down on the end of the bed. Eld sighed and sat down next to her.
"I know. Look, I know I fucked up. I broke our promise and I'm sorry about that. I guess I just wanted to test what you were saying about how close you and the Captain really are. I expected maybe a lecture on workplace boundaries or a sharp comment or maybe more laps. I didn't expect him to punch me." Eld said, exasperated. Dilan pursed her lips. She still didn't like the fact that Eld had tried to get a rise out of her best friend in the first place for an experiment, but she decided it would be unproductive to bring that up.
"I told you he's protective and I wasn't lying. He only did what he did because he thought you were hurting me." Dilan explained calmly. Eld looked at her.
"And was I?" He asked. Dilan averted her eyes. She had a small bruise on her wrist that she didn't want to mention.
"No but it wasn't exactly nice. I told you at the beginning, PDA was a deal breaker for me. You promised never to do it." She said seriously. He had seriously shaken the trust she had for him by doing that. Not only did he break a promise, but he forced himself on her. It was hard not to feel betrayed.
Eld sighed, rubbing his head.
"I know, you're completely right. It was my fault and I'm sorry." Eld apologised sincerely and Dilan let out a breath, nodding that she forgave her. Eld smiled and kissed her but pulled back immediately, frowning at her. "Have you been drinking? While we're at it where the hell were you last night? All night." He asked, anger and suspicion in his tone. Dilan blinked, surprised by his sudden change in attitude.
He wasn't her keeper.
"I went drinking with Nanaba because I was pissed off and fell asleep on her couch. I don't think you have the right to be mad right now." She replied, trying not to let the anger seep into her voice. Eld crossed his arms.
"So, you weren't with anyone?" He questioned harshly. Dilan balked at him. If she couldn't have sex with him how could he expect her to have sex with some random bloke. Did he know her at all?
"What kind of a question is that?" She asked, exasperated. Eld frowned.
"One you didn't answer." He persisted. Dilan felt her anger swell but took a deep breath and calmed down.
"No, of course not. I would never do that. But I shouldn't have stayed out so late and I'm sorry for not coming home. I didn't mean to worry you." She apologised, hoping it would end this stupid fight.
Eld sighed in defeat.
"I forgive you, just try not to let it happen again." He smiled, kissing her cheek and standing up. Dilan supressed the urge to give him another black eye. Why was he acting like her dictator? She took another deep breath and forced a smile back, not wanting the fight to continue. "I'm going to go get ready. See you at breakfast, yeah?" He said and Dilan nodded. Eld was about to leave when she remembered something they still had to discuss.
"Eld?" She asked before he got to the door. Eld looked at her.
"Yeah?"
"About yesterday. You aren't... going to file a complaint, are you?" Dilan asked hesitantly, observing Eld's eyes darken.
"Why shouldn't I? He attacked a subordinate, it's my duty to report it." He replied firmly, crossing his arms. Dilan sighed.
Here comes another fight.
"He only hit you because you were trying to get a rise out of him. That was unprofessional on your part too." Dilan pointed out. Eld frowned.
"Why are you taking his side? Do you think what he did to me was right?" He asked, looking hurt. Dilan could see it was mostly fake, trying to get her to side with him and that pissed her off even more.
"I think you both fucked up and there's no point reporting it. Not only will it cause tension within the squad but there's are only two real outcomes if you decide to take this all the way. Either the board will agree with you and Levi will be demoted for striking a subordinate, which I don't know what you will get out of considering he's the best damn Captain you will ever have. Or the board will choose to take Levi's side and you will be placed in another squad due to conflict of interest. And honestly, that is likely the case as you will be going up against one of the highest-ranking officials in the survey corps. Erwin won't demote him. He'll do whatever's necessary to ensure the Captain says at his position and that includes framing and firing you." Dilan said logically, meaning every word. Erwin was a crafty bastard. He would do anything to keep things the way they were. If it was Eld or Levi, he would side with Levi, no question.
Eld stared at her for a long time, seemingly angry but realisation soon made its way onto his face and he sighed in defeat.
"Fine... you're right. I'll drop it." Eld lamented. Dilan nodded in approval.
"And you'll apologise." She added and Eld looked at her in shock.
"Dilan! How could you-"
"I'm not taking his side and I'm not speaking as your girlfriend but as your second in command. I'm advising you now to apologise to your Captain for disturbing the peace during training and intentionally trying to get a rise out of him. It was unprofessional and if Levi thinks you're starting to be a strain on his team then he will remove you." Dilan said seriously. Eld clenched his jaw but reluctantly agreed.
"Fine but I don't agree what he did was right." Eld replied firmly.
"Fine." She replied. She knew he wanted her to agree with him that what Levi did was fucked up and she did on some level, but she refused to speak against him. They had both made bad decisions and they were both to blame.
Eld let out a small scoff and left the room. Dilan sighed and rubbed her face, wondering when everything had gotten so hard. She preferred it when she was an isolated assassin sometimes.
She missed the peace.
After taking a moment to contemplate life, Dilan realised she still had one more obstacle to face before the day started. She got dressed in a new uniform, dried and brushed her hair before tying it up and brushing her teeth. She made her bed and opened her curtains before heading upstairs, hoping that Eld would take a while so he wouldn't come looking for her.
She got up to the roof and immediately saw Levi sitting with his legs over the edge, watching the last of the sunrise. She sat down next to him without a word. There was silence for a bit before Levi spoke up.
"I was a dick." He said simply and Dilan tried hard to supress her smile. She wanted to be mad at him for a little longer at least.
"Hm." She said dismissively. Levi sighed and raked a hand through his hair.
"And an ass." He added. Dilan had to look away to stop a smirk.
"Keep going." She encouraged. Levi smirked a bit.
"And a fucking-" He cut himself off, thinking of another insult.
"Moron?" She offered, giving him a cheeky smile. Levi sent her a playful glare but cracked a smile anyway.
"Total moron. I'm sorry, brat. You were right, you don't need me to protect you and I won't interfere in your relationship again. I was an asshole to suggest what I did. Forgive me?" He asked seriously, his eyes full of genuine remorse. Dilan smiled, feeling her heart warm without permission.
"Sure." She agreed and Levi sighed in relief. They both looked out at the view.
"How's his eye?" Levi asked, a smirk in his voice and Dilan choked on a laugh, trying to hold it in.
"You smug bastard, don't make me laugh!" She complained, punching him on the arm.
Levi chucked.
"It's bad then?" He asked with a smile, not a hint of regret in his eyes. Dilan sighed in disbelief, shaking her head but smiled anyway.
"It looks mother fucking painful. I don't think you needed to punch him that hard, ya know?" She pointed out. Levi smirked, looking straight forward.
"It was about principle more than anything." Levi shrugged. Dilan rolled her eyes.
"Oh yeah? And what principle is that?" She asked sarcastically. Levi looked at her.
"No one touches you without your permission." He replied honestly and Dilan swallowed hard. Why did his eyes have to be so fucking beautiful? She took a breath and looked away before she ended up blushing, failing to supress a smile. She believed him. When Levi was around, she was always safe. No one would touch her. Not that she couldn't defend herself but having Levi there always made her feel at ease. "Besides it was fun." He added and Dilan chuckled, rolling her eyes.
He had to ruin it.
"Sadist." She mumbled and Levi smirked.
Another moment of silence and Dilan allowed the peace to wash over her. She really needed this. She hadn't managed to find the time to come up to the roof and sit with Levi recently. Eld slept in her room more often than not and she couldn't risk him waking and her just being gone. He would think the worst and she couldn't deal with another argument right now.
Still, that didn't mean she didn't miss it. She needed the roof to wind down. Dilan ignored the thought that told her she needed Levi to wind down more.
"You were gone all night." Levi mentioned out of nowhere and Dilan frowned slightly, wondering if she was going to get another lecture. "Have fun?" He asked, looking at her. Dilan blinked at him and he smirked. "You obviously went drinking brat. You look like shit." He pointed out in a sly tone and Dilan huffed but cracked a smile, anyway, knowing that was probably true.
"Yes, I did have fun. Drunk Nanaba is a blast. Or at least I think she is." Dilan mumbled the last part, remembering that Nanaba wasn't actually drunk. Regardless she still had fun anyway.
Levi laughed a bit.
"Yeah, she can handle her beer though. That woman was the only one that could match me at the Christmas parties." He mentioned. Dilan frowned.
"I can match you just fine!" She protested, feeling oddly competitive. Levi smirked, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah but you're still a lightweight and you always take on more than you can handle." He said with a shrug. Suddenly Dilan had a flash back of falling headfirst into a wall and rubbed her head.
"Shut up, ass." She mumbled. Levi laughed. "Oh, I went to see Josie too." She remembered and Levi smiled.
"Oh yeah? How is the little loud brat?" Levi asked. He was very fond of Josie. Levi claimed she was loud and slightly annoying and reminded him of Isabel.
Dilan chuckled at the nickname.
"She's good. Misses you. All I got the whole time was 'when is the grumpy man coming to visit? Why didn't you bring grumpy?'" She informed with a snigger. It was a shame he had been so loaded with work recently. He hadn't been able to visit in a while.
Levi smiled at that.
"She's a good kid. Clearly has great taste if I'm her favourite." He smirked. Dilan scoffed.
"Yeah right, grumps. You can't replace me, I changed that kid's diapers." She huffed.
He grimaced and Dilan laughed.
"Never plan on having kids then. Diapers are involved." She teased with a smirk. Levi rolled his eyes.
"I know that." He retorted, draping an arm over his knee that was brought up to his chest. There was a moment of silence before he answered truthfully. "I used to think I'd never want kids, honestly. They always just seemed like loud messy brats but... spending time with the kids at the orphanage and Josie... I don't know. Maybe one day if this war ever ends..." He looked at her. "And I find the right person." He added and Dilan melted a little bit, her heart speeding up significantly.
She wondered if he knew what he was doing to her. Did he know what kind of an effect he was having on her? After those words she wasn't sure if she had ever wanted to kiss him more.
The door to the roof opened before she got the chance.
"Dil?" Eld asked as he came out and Dilan instinctively shuffled away from Levi a bit as they were sitting rather close together. She didn't miss the slight hurt in Levi's eyes, but she couldn't afford to show her guilt right now.
Eld came through and offered a smile. She gave a small smile back and watched as he looked at the Captain, feeling things turned tense. Dilan prepared herself to intervene considering they were both glaring at each other. Eld faltered slightly, unable to match his glare.
He took a breath.
"Captain, I apologise for my behaviour yesterday. It was unprofessional of me to interrupt training like that and it won't happen again." Eld apologised professionally and Dilan let out a silent sigh of relief. Levi's glare never faltered and Eld swallowed nervously.
"Ensure that it doesn't." He replied icily in a low tone.
Dilan honestly couldn't expect much more.
Eld looked slightly irked that he didn't reciprocate the regret in actions but didn't mention it, nodding in understanding before taking Dilan's hand and tugging on it to get her to move.
"Come on, I made breakfast." Eld informed. Dilan ignored the slight drop in her stomach at the thought of leaving the roof... and Levi. But she nodded anyway and stood up, allowing Eld to lead her back out. Her eyes stayed on Levi's until the last second and the door closed separating the pair with a sharp snap.
A/N: Damn! We are getting so close guys. 4 more chapters!
Before you ask, no. Levi was not flirting with Petra at the beginning of the chapter. If it seemed like he was thats only because it was in Petras P.O.V. and everything Levi does makes the girl want to drop her pants right there, lol. He was just tired and wanted to talk to someone and Petra was there for him. This doesn't mean I am going to create something between them. Levi only has eyes for Dilan.
And don't worry guys. Evil Eld will not last. I promise I will fix everyone soon.
I'm so glad you guys didn't mind the direction I took. I was worried but you were all so supportive. Thank you so much! It means a lot. Sorry about the delay in posting I've been so busy lately. Don't worry. I won't make you wait much longer.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Stay safe! X
