LYRA/LIRA: hello to all lovers of demented stupidity!

LYRA: welcome to chapter two of The Random Adventures of Eragon and his Studip Friends

LIRA: today, we shall be introducing, and killing off, characters!

LYRA: do you like the zoo Eragon?

ERAGON: Oo...

LYRA/LIRA: eh?

ERAGON: zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...(randomly starts jumping around the room)

LYRA/LIRA: erm...okay?

dark-hearted rose: you were anymous? we got your name. and nothing is wrong with squirrel meat. Brom's just a spaz

Argetlam-Meg: yay! retarded story! w00t! nah, it's already been planned. Roran goes down

RORAN: T.T you two are evil

LIRA: is my ipod on?

LYRA: no, why?

LIRA: i thought i heard something

LYRA: must've been the voices again

LIRA: yeah, probably

alsdssq: awesomeness! hey, in your next review, can you giveus yourAIM name or something? please? PLEASE!

LYRA: has Eragon calmed down yet?

LIRA: nope.

crash

LYRA: hmm...that was the 5th priceless vase this second

LIRA: yeah...anyway

LYRA/LIRA: start ficcie!

Lyra and Lira do not own Eragon. thank God.


The next day saw Eragon merrily skipping through the zoo. "OOOOOOH! I wanna see the penguins and the tigers and the squirrels and the unicorns and the heffalumps and, and..."

"Why did we come to the zoo! It's full of g-g-g..." Brom stuttered as he jumped around in his bubble.

"You're in your super-bubble, Brom. You're fine" Roran said.

"Ooooh, look Steve--"

"RORAN!"

"--someone's doing something to that one lion!" announced Eragon. He pointed to a man who looked similar to Eragon. He was approaching the lionness from behind and was unzipping his pants. Roran put his hands over Eragon's virgin eyes. "Steve--"

"Roran!"

"--what happened to the light!" Eragon asked, waving his arms in front of him. "I think I'm blind! Does that mean we can get a puppy!"

"Is that Murtagh?" Brom questioned, still twitching a bit.

"Eragon's older brother?" Roran asked.

"Yep. That is Murtagh! Ummm...where's zoo security?"

Roran's eyes went wide. "What kind of idiot pervert is he!"

The lionness, not liking the scrawny, yet still very hot, human trying to do it with her, called to her mate, the alpha-male lion. Mr. Alpha-Male Lion didn't like Murtagh raping his faveorite mate, so he decided to do something about it and charged. Eragon, whose eyes were no longer covered by Roran's hands, cried, "Steve--"

"RORAN!"

"--the man's going to get eaten by the big, scary...uh...what is it..DOG!"

"It's a lion Eragon," Roran corrected.

"'Sa fluffy dog" Eragon said happily, forgetting the danger to his brother.

Suddenly, a big, strong black guy popped out of nowhere. He was wearing a bad imitation of a Super Man costume. Instead of the "S" on the chest, this psychopath had an "S" and an "A" on his chest. "I am Super Ajhihod!" shouted the deranged black man.

Random Lady #10 said, "They always come out in the on the warm days."

"And this is my sidekick: Nasuada Girl!" Another black person in hot pink everything came running up and said, "Like, Daddy, like, have you, like, totally forgotten, like, your medicine...like?"

"Quiet Nasuada Girl, you might scare the fluffy doggy!"

"Like! No more medicine! Oh my God! Daddy! Like, don't, like, save, like, the perverted, like, idiot! Who is also, like, super-uber hot! On, like, second thought...like..." Super Ajhihod jumped into the fluffy doggy's pen and tried to use his Ajhihod vision on the fluffy, alpha-male doggy-lion-thingy. Unfortunately, he did not have Ajhihod vision and was devoured by the fluffy doggy. "Hey, like, you can't, like, eat, like, my dad! Like!" shouted Nasuada. She jumped into the fluffy doggy pen and, with her five-inch-long, razor-sharp, hot-pink nails, impaled the big fluffy doggy.

"That was weird" Eragon commented.

"Yes it was" said Murtagh, who randomly appeared out of nowhere. He looked at Eragon and said, "Hey, wanna join me in the bathroom?"

"That's incest!" shouted Roran.

Eragon asked, "What's incest?"

"It's when siblings love each other," explained Roran.

"I'll show you what incest is!" Murtagh said happily. "Just follow me to the bathroom and--"

A loud whistle blew and Nasuada climbed out of the fluffy doggy pen. "Okay," said an elf with black hair and green eyes. "You four come with me!" she demanded as she pointed at Nasuada, Eragon, Murtagh, and Brom.

"What about me?" whined Roran.

"Oh, fine!" the elf said as she lead the others away.

\\\\\

"Well, who is responsible for the lion's injury?" Arya the elf asked. They were all in the zoo ER waiting room.

Eragon raised his hand. "Well, ya see, Murtagh was doing something to the not-as-fluffy doggy taht my virgin eyes couldn't see. Then the scary black man in tights tried to save Murtagh from the very fluffy doggy but the scary black man got eated and Nasuada jumped in and did something to the fluffy doggy and I still don't know what incest is! Is it a game?"

"Okay, howabout we draw straws to make things easier. The one with the shortest straw is responsible" Arya said as she held a fistful of straws up.

"But, that's not fair! Haven't you heard of justice?" Roran asked.

"Okay, for interrupting me, you get the short straw!" Arya gave Roran the short straw.

"But...I didn't do anything!"

"To bad Steve--"

"RORAN!"

"--you interrupted me so you get the short straw. That's the way it is" Arya said.

"B-But that's haenous!" Roran exclaimed in a rather gay accent.

Everyone stared at him. "Haenous?" questioned Brom.

"No straight man says haenous" Murtagh said.

"What does 'straight' mean?" asked Eragon.

"Like, does that, like, mean, like, Steve's gay or, like, something?" asked Nasuada.

"I am not gay! And my name is Roran!"

"What does 'gay' mean?" asked Eragon.

"Like, I, like, totally love, like, gay men! They, like, are, like, the best, like, shopping buddies!" Nasuada exclaimed.

"I'm not--"

Brom came bouncing in wildly. "Don't talk about gayness! It creates more g-g-g-ger..."

Nasuada pointed at Brom. "Like, who's the, like, old guy?" Brom then jumped toward Nasuada and her five-inch-long, razor sharp nail that was being pointed at Brom. Poor old guy, he never had a chance. Brom's bubble popped on Nasuada's nail and Brom was then impaled. His last word was "germs". "Like, oh my God! I, like, have, like, an old guy on, like, my nail!" shouted Nasuada. A large vulture flew in, took Brom, and then flew out. "Like, that's, like, totally, like, better!"

"Okay, Steve--"

"RORAN!"

"--are you or are you not gay? And if so, do you wanna share a bed?" Murtagh asked.

"I am not!"

"Like, have any of you, like, seen, like, Farthen Dur Mountain? I was, like, so totally, like, crying at the, like, end of the, like, movie! It was, like, 'gag me with a spoon' depressing, like. Like, Jack and, like, Ennis for, like, ever!"

"Fine!" cried Roran. "If you aren't going to pay attention to me, then I'm going to run away!" No one paid attention to Roran.

"And, like, in Rent, with, like, Angel. Ooooh! He was, like, SOOOOO cute, and like, awesome! I just, like, LOVE the elf that, like, played him...her...like..."

Roran ran out the door and into the street. There, a giant beer truck ran him over, making Roran a two-dimensional person who no one pays attention to. The person who was driving the beer truck adjusted his mirror and asked, "Did I just hit something?" before going into reverse. Meanwhile, Katrina had run up to Roran and was crying. "Oh, this is horrible! Oh, Roran!" Then she became two-dimensional with the aid of the same beer truck.

Meanwhile, back in the Zoo ER waiting room, Eragon asked, "Did someone hear something?" Everyone looked around the room. "Probably a truck" Murtagh said before returning to being a pervert.


LYRA: so, Roran, how do you feel about dying?

GHOST O' RORAN: i can't believe you killed me!

LIRA: sorry Steve, but you just had no importance to this story

GHOST O' RORAN: my name is ROOORAAAANNNNNN (goes up to heaven)

LYRA: least we let Katrina die with him

LIRA: yeah, that slut will let him do whatever he wants to her

LYRA: Brom, what's it like to have your corpse be eaten by a vulture?

GHOST O' BROM: you let the world's most disgusting bird eat my once clean remains! you shall all buuuuuuurrrrrrrnnnnnnn (goes to heaven)

LIRA: we know we will Brommy!

LYRA: and Ajhihod, what's it like to be dead?

GHOST O'AJHIHOD: SUPER AJHIHOD NEVER DIES!

LIRA: but, he so can too die!if you're as super powerful as superman, then you can bekilled too!

LYRA: superman's been killed?

GHOST O' AJHIHOD: really? oh NOOOOOOOOO! (goes to heaven)

LIRA: yeah, but he was brought back to life:D

LYRA: okay. well, that's all the time we have for today!

LIRA: so, to all the nice people out there, remember this:

LYRA/LIRA:we ask you mightly kindly to leavereviews on your way out.

LYRA: and maybe somesleepingpills forEragon