Chapter 2: With friends like these...

The Bridge nightclub, Oxford
31st August-1st September 2001

-x-

10pm, in the queue

"See something you like, Fitzy?"

"Bugger off, Dick."

"Aw, is Fitzy embarrassed?"

"Oi! Birthday night out remember?" interjected Jamie Davies, peacemaker, as always, between his two best mates.

Darcy had known Davies since they were seven, when Davies had joined New College School as a Chorister. They had been inseparable ever since, continuing on to Winchester together, and now to Oxford next month.

Richard Jones was an unfortunate addendum to Davies' friendship. A cousin on Davies' mother's side, Richard had been close with Davies since they were babies, and he was weirdly jealous of his friendship with Darcy. Darcy had a love-hate relationship with Richard; he hated him, but loved Davies enough to play nice. Well, as nice as it was possible to be to someone who insisted on winding him up every five minutes. If Richard and Davies weren't a package deal, there was no way that dick would be here for Darcy's birthday.

"Who were you talking about, Richard?" asked Jamie.

"Those two in the guest queue."

"Wow. The blonde one is fit!"

"Davies you think everyone is fit."

"So you fancy the curly haired one then Fitzy? Excellent. I call dibs!"

"You really do live up to your name, Dick! You can't call dibs on a girl. Ever heard of women's liberation?"

"Well I'm not going to say it to her, am I? Just letting you know where you stand."

Darcy turned away in disgust, missing Davies whispering to Richard.

"Why do you have to wind him up? We both know you have a girlfriend."

"Ah, but Fitzy doesn't", smirked Richard.

Davies rolled his eyes.

-x-

Midnight, by the bar

"Birthday shots Jane!"

"Lizzy, do I really need…"

"Excuse me, did someone say birthday shots? Or any shots really. I'm up for that!"

"Sorry mate, it's girls night."

"Lizzy..." Jane hissed "shush."

She turned to Mr 'up for it'; "I'm Jane. It's my birthday."

Lizzy rolled her eyes as Jane flicked her hair and giggled.

"Happy birthday Jane! It's my friend's birthday too, he turned 18 today!"

"Me too! Or do you mean on Friday? Because I'm 18 on Saturday and it's just turned midnight. So if your friend was born on Friday, that was yesterday really. That's why we're celebrating right now, because it's Saturday. Or, well, really we should celebrate at about 17 minutes past because that's when I was born. Um, anyway... what's your name?"

Lizzy watched in disbelief as Jane became a babbling idiot and still the guy smiled at her like she was a font of wisdom. Or was he the idiot?

"You're adorable!" Yep, total idiot! "I'm Jamie. Can I do a birthday shot with you? You need company to celebrate properly."

Er, what am I? Chopped liver? Lizzy was getting properly miffed now. Jane was giving her the go away stare. Clearly girls night was off then. She couldn't even go home; Mum would kill Jane for ditching her.

"I suppose I'll just go dance, shall I?"

Neither Jane nor Jamie so much as glanced her way. She turned in a huff and bumped into a tall blonde guy.

Richard had seen his chance, and he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to mess up Darcy's.

"Oof! Sorry. I'm with..." he gestured to Jamie. "We saw you in the queue and Jamie's been looking for your friend ever since."

"My sister, actually. I'm Lizzy."

"Richard."

"So it's your birthday then?"

"No, Jamie's mate Darcy. Dunno where he is. Probably puking up the shots Jamie already made him have." Richard laughed.

Lizzy's eyebrow rose. "He's not your mate?"

"Nah, Fitzy and I just have Jamie in common."

"Fitzy?"

"Short for Fitzwilliam."

"Fitzwilliam Darcy is Jamie's mate? Brilliant."

"You know him?" And didn't seem to like him; this was going to be even easier than Richard had expected.

"Kind of. Jane and him were born at the same time, and his dad gave our dad the idea for our names so... well, its a bit of weird connection. Oh, and his sister goes to school with my little brother."

"Lizzy… and Jane?" She could see the cogs turning. "Like the Bennets? Yeah?"

"Not just like the Bennets. The actual Bennets. That's our real surname."

"Dude! That's crazy!"

"I hate it. It doesn't make me the Darcy's biggest fan."

His eyebrow shot up. "You hate Darcy because your Dads' named you all after a book?" He didn't love the guy, but that was a bit extreme.

"Ok well you make it sound stupid when you say it like that. But it's a really pretentious name and people never shut up about it." she huffed. "He was also a complete arsehole when I met him."

"You must be really glad your sister is being chatted up by his best mate."

"Yeah. It's awesome. I really want to spend more time with Darcy, so it's just perfect."

Richard laughed. "If it's any consolation, Jamie's always on the pull. I doubt this will last."

Seriously? Sounds like all Darcy's mates are arseholes too.

"I think maybe I should get back my sister now."

"You don't want to dance?"

"No, thanks. We're not all on the pull."

"Hey." He held his hands up in surrender. "Me neither, I have a girlfriend at home."

"Ok." Lizzy backed down a bit. "But I'm still going back to my sister."

"Jamie is a good guy you know. It could last. He's Darcy's best mate after all. Isn't he supposed to marry Jane Bennet?"

"Oh for fu…"

"What?!" he laughed.

"Life isn't a book you know. And even if it was, she marries Charles Bingley, not Jamie... whoever."

"Ah, but you know Jamie's nickname is Bingley? Darcy gave it to him."

"What?! He is such a knob!"

Richard wasn't sure where this rubbish was coming from, but she was eating it up. This was hilarious. Darcy was going to go mental when he found out.

"That's Darcy", he shrugged.

She harrumphed. "Ok well, as amazing you're making Jamie seem, I think Jane and I should go dance with our friends." She turned to see Jane with her tongue down Jamie's throat. She swung back round. "Well, I'm going to dance. Bye!"

Richard smirked at a job well done.

Darcy appeared at his shoulder. "Was that the girl from the queue?"

"Yeah. Has a boyfriend."

"Oh." A pause. "Where's Davies?"

"Jamie is over there.."

Darcy looked. "Great. Well, not much to hang around for then."

"Aw, you can't have fun without your friend? Poor Fitzy."

"Whatever, Dick. Davies has a key. He can let you back in to my aunts or you can sleep on a bench, if you prefer. I'm off to find a kebab."

Darcy really hated Richard.

-x-

2am, in the taxi

"Oh come on Jane, you only met him tonight."

"But he was really nice. And a good kisser! Why can't I text him?"

"His friends are all idiots."

"How would you know?"

"Well I spent enough time talking to one tonight. He told me Jamie is always on the pull, so he probably didn't even mean you to text him anyway."

Jane looked a little crestfallen; "Then why would he give me his number?"

"I dunno. He didn't take yours, I noticed."

"His battery died."

"Course it did."

"Do you have to be so judgemental?"

"I'm not, Jane. But he's friends with Darcy. And his nickname is Bingley! Seriously!"

"Oh, come on!" Jane laughed. "That's not real. And you don't even know Darcy."

"I know enough. Plus, Mum's always talking about the Darcys."

"She doesn't know him either. And little Georgie is adorable."

"You're not going to change my mind Jane."

"Fine."

Later, Lizzy deletes Jamie's number from Jane's phone. Just in case.