" Tell me something about you that no one else knows, " Derek demanded playfully.
Meredith gave him a crooked smile and rolled her eyes. Then, she pursed her lips and began to think about her answer. It was late afternoon and they were leaning up against the railing on one of Derek's obsessions. The man loved ferryboats. Meredith personally never spent much time on them, as they reminded her too much of her mother. Every morning they'd take a ferryboat ride on her way to work.
" I was the rebel in high school. Wore all black and dyed my hair pink, " She finally answered.
Derek looked at her skeptically.
" You dyed your hair pink, " He asked her, obviously finding it hard to believe.
" It was more of a piss my mother off type of deal, " Meredith shrugged before firing her own question back. " What about you ?"
" I didn't always want to be a doctor. I wanted to be a writer, " Derek replied after a moment.
" I could see you as a writer. What did you want to write about? "
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, the barest hint of a smile on his face.
" I don't know. I never got that far. "
They were both quiet for a while, listening to the sound of the water churning beneath them. Derek swung his arm loosely around her waist and she nestled closer to him, seeking warmth from the cool breeze coming up from the water. It was amazing how little thought she actually put into doing the things she did with him. Her actions and reactions to him just seemed to come naturally. Tilting her head up to look at him, she asked a question that had been plaguing her thoughts for a few days.
" Were you scared when you first started your internship? "
Derek laughed and pulled her closer to him, wrapping her securely in both of his arms.
" I spent most of my internship being terrified. You live in a constant state of paranoia. You're taught to never second guess yourself, but you spend most of your time doing it. Being an intern is just terrifying in it. "
Meredith looked thoughtful. He rubbed her arms, trying to chase some of the chill from her small frame.
" I don't think Richard's wife likes me a whole lot, " She said out of nowhere. Derek sighed. This was bound to come up sooner or later. Slowly, he turned her to face him. She looked confused and he pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face.
" Adele's problem isn't with you. It's with me. You know I've known Richard and Adele for a long time. Adele is good friends with my soon to be ex wife, " Derek admitted quietly. He kept his eyes trained on her face waiting for some kind of response. She stiffened in his arms and he braced himself for the fallout of his admission.
" I'm sorry, did you just tell me she was good friends with your wife, " Meredith's voice raised a little bit at the end, attracting the attention of the few people standing around them.
" No, I said she was friends with my soon to be ex wife. Those are key words in that sentence, Meredith, " Derek clarified.
" So she thinks I'm the dirty mistress. Great, not only am I screwing my boss, but I'm screwing my married boss, " She started to go off on one of her little rants, but found herself silenced by Derek's finger over her lips. She glared at him, but shut up and allowed him to speak.
" First of all, she knows Addison and I are separated. The only reason we aren't divorced yet is because due to some stupid New York law, we have to be legally separated for six months before I can file for divorce. And yes, I'm the one who wanted the divorce. I found her in my bed with my best friend, " Derek sounded a lot more bitter at the end than he meant too.
" Oh. So what am I? Your rebound girl? The girl you're screwing to get over being screwed?"
Derek shook his head at her, cupping her chin in his hand, making sure he was looking straight into her eyes when he answered her.
" No. You, Meredith Grey, are like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. That's all I know right now, " He said softly before leaning in and placing gentle kiss on her lips.
She didn't pull away.
Derek was surprised by how much better he felt by having all of his secrets out in the open. If there was one thing in life that he had learned, it was that secrets weren't anybody's friend. They had a way of sneaking up and biting you in the ass when you least expected it. At least now he wouldn't be constantly looking over his shoulder or worrying about her finding about Addison from someone else besides him. He really could start over with a clean slate.
Realistically, he knew Meredith was pleased with him right now, but he also knew had he waited longer to tell her that the situation would have turned out a lot worse. This way, they at least had a shot of working through it. Which was really all he wanted was the chance to prove to her that she wasn't just his rebound girl. That thought alone had taken him by surprise. She wasn't just his rebound girl. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman that he wanted to build a relationship and possibly a life with. Coming to that realization after knowing her a mere week scared the hell out of him.
It was good for him that fear was never something he ran from.
It was almost midnight when Meredith returned to the house, alone. Derek had been called into the hospital and while she was grateful for the time alone to sort out her thoughts, she couldn't help but think how empty the house was without him. Finding out that he was her boss had been a huge shock to her system, but then to find out that he was married as well?
Separated, her subconscious reminded her.
Okay, separated. Whatever. She couldn't exactly blame him for not saying something about it sooner though. Who wanted to talk about finding their spouse in bed with their best friend? Besides, it hadn't exactly been like she asked. She had just assumed. Assuming was getting her in a lot of trouble this week.
So now she sat curled up on the sofa with a pint of Ben and Jerry's that she had picked up on her way home. Derek had said he didn't know how long he'd be, so she figured now would be as good of a time as any to wallow in her misery. Except she found she wasn't all that miserable. He had corrected her and rather forcefully when she had accused him of using her to get over being screwed. The absolutely crazy part was that she kind of believed him.
He was flawed just like every other human being in the world. She wouldn't fault him for that, especially when she was guilty of the same. They were both equally screwed up. He over his wife and her over her mother. She felt a pang of guilt, knowing that he had been honest with her and she was still keeping this huge secret about her mother. Sooner or later, the topic would come up and she'd have to come clean, but she had promised her mother she wouldn't tell anyone.
That was her dilemma. She'd made this huge promise to her mother, not realizing the toll that it was going to take on her because at the end of the day the only person who could comfort Meredith was Meredith herself. Sometimes, she thought it would be nice, if someone else knew her secret, if for no other reason for her to have someone to talk too. Keeping secrets sucked.
She scowled down at her now empty container of ice cream. So much for comfort food. Tossing the container into the garbage and throwing the dirty spoon in the sink, Meredith trudged upstairs. The house was eerily silent and truth be told, it kind of freaked her out. She hated the quiet. Stripping out of her clothes , she crawled under the blankets and sighed. Even her freaking bed seemed empty without Derek in it. She didn't want to dwell on what that meant.
It was many hours later when she heard the creak of the stairs and Derek appeared in her doorway. She'd been dozing on and off for quite some time, never actually able to fall into a comfortable sleep. She blinked against the light from the hall and he shut the door quietly behind him. He was silent as he shed his clothes and crawled into the bed beside her. He didn't reach for her, just simply laid on his back staring at the ceiling. Meredith frowned and gazed at him thoughtfully.
" How'd it go at the hospital, " She asked gently.
Derek shrugged before answering.
" I couldn't stop the bleeding in his brain, " He said gruffly, emotion clogging his words.
Meredith didn't say anything, just simply leaned over and kissed him. His hand tangled in her hair as he responded in kind to her kiss. She pulled away after a minute, looking down at him. He held her gaze for a bit before his eyes wandered down to her lips. He pulled her down to him and kissed her fiercely before rolling her underneath him. She didn't say anything, just merely helped wash away his pain the only way she knew how.
Outside, the sun was coming up.
