Erm…due to this chapters nature…it should probably belong in the final fantasy 7 section of fanfition…but don't let that stop you. Pretty much this is speculation on Seph's past played out in Castle Oblivion…cept without numbered cards to get to the next room. None of that nonsense. Here we go.

Don't own any of the recognizable characters or places. If you don't recognize it do I own it? As far as you know…I do. Sucker.

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Angel Memories: Chapter 6

Forgotten Tense

"Good morning Mr. Sephiroth, how are you feeling today?"

A man with glasses was staring down at me. Dark chestnut hair cascaded downwards over smiling eyes. His eyes glowed strangely, some kind of light aqua. None of the other men's eyes glowed like that. A wide grin was held steadily below a somewhat crooked nose. His large hands gently shook at my covered shoulders. With a yawn I reached out of the silk sheets to rub the sleep from my eyes and brush the man's hands away quietly. Obediently he stepped backward, always smiling.

After the final bits of crust fell away from my eyelids, I reached my hand up to my shoulder and rotated it slowly. A small ache was present that throbbed softly toward the middle of my back. Once I had stretched both of my shoulders I reached forward and strained my hands out as far as I could. The man stood quietly to the side while I preformed my morning stretches. His smile only left his face for a moment while he coughed slightly. With one last flex of my leg muscles I hopped out of my bed and stood up.

"I'm alright." My voice seemed slightly off, as if it were an octave higher or so. That was odd but what seemed stranger than that was that my mind told me that wasn't out of place at all. If that were the case…what was telling me that my voice wasn't right?

"Is something the matter Mr. Sephiroth?" The brunette leaned forward concernedly. "Something hurting you?"

"No, it's just…well…my right shoulder aches a bit." I glanced for a moment towards the source of the dull throb, and then back at the man. He was staring intently at my shoulder. For a moment his eyes flashed blue and then faded to their normal color.

"Your…right shoulder? Sir?" He asked nervously. I gave a small nod and patted the aching area. "Not the left one?"

"No. The right shoulder." The smile left his face but he quickly covered it by chewing nervously on his white sleeve. "Is there something…wrong with that?" I asked.

Immediately the smile returned. The man straightened up and rubbed the teeth marks from his sleeve on the bottom of his lab coat. "Not at all, sir!" His smile widened further as his eyes flashed again. "In any case, it's time for you to get dressed and get ready for the day. I'll leave you be, meet me at table three alright? I'll have your food waiting, sir."

The man whirled around and headed for the exit. He walked quickly, as if wanting to get out of the room. I watched him quietly for a moment and then decided better of it. "Uhm…excuse me!" The man turned around mid-stride and nearly tripped over his own feet in the process. Fear flashed across his face. Was he cowering? "Uhm…I just wanted to say thank you." The appreciation did not have the desired effect. Instead of becoming more comfortable, the man began to twitch slightly. He looked absolutely stricken with terror. "You know…for waking me up and getting my breakfast."

"I don't need to get you breakfast if you don't want me to!" His voice cracked several times and came out as a gasping wheeze.

"No…it's very nice of you. So…thank you, Ikusa." With that last sentence, Ikusa saluted, bowed and tore through the doorway. I sighed deeply and looked down at the chrome tiles at my feet. Why was he scared of me? And…when I said his name…why did it feel like I was remembering it from years ago?

With these thoughts running circles in my mind I began to dress myself. The clothes I was to wear seemed to be more geared toward combat. Fantastic…another combat test today. That would make two in a row now. Don't they normally give me a day or so in-between? I guess it doesn't matter though. I pulled the leather pants over my underwear and set out for the cafeteria.

The halls were all exactly the same; bright white extensions with identical grey doors every twenty feet or so. Men in lab coats bustled through intersections with clipboards in their hands. Very few of them ever exchanged greeting, only data and notes. Crowded as the hallways were, I found it was easy for me to navigate them. Not once did I even bush a passerby. Turning a corner I very nearly collided with a particularly hurried scientist. He screamed and hurled himself to the side to avoid contact. His fall was cushioned by several other men in lab coats who all gave him venomous stares.

"I-I'm ver-very s-s-sorry M-Mr. Sephiroth sir!" he fell to his knees and pressed his forehead to the ground. I paused for a moment and looked down at the prostrate man.

"It's…alright." He looked up with bewilderment. "Don't worry about it, it was just a mistake."

"Yes sir! It won't happen again Mr. Sephiroth." He leapt up from his prostrate position and brushed dust away from his white coat. He bowed one last time and turned to hurry away from me. As he ran he turned to look back at me with a puzzled expression. As he did that he ran into another individual.

"Oof! I'm sorry…" His eyes trailed upwards to the new man's face. As they reached the features he jumped back in alarm and immediately threw himself into a deep bow. "Professor Hojo, sir! I am very sorry!"

The pale, crooked man peered down the length of his curved nose at the bowing man. Silently he propped his spectacles further up that nose and sighed loudly. His greasy hair fell in unruly strands over his face. He absently swatted at the strands in front of his eyes. Again he let out a deep sigh.

"You shouldn't say things that you can't hold to, boy."

"Sir…?"

A white flash lit out from Hojo's person. His hand moved fast but I was able to see it as though it were in slow motion. The back of his fist connected with the man's jaw and sent him crashing to the ground. His head made a sickly cracking sound as it connected with one of the support pillars lining the wall.

"Stand up," Hojo commanded. The man lying on the ground twitched and placed a hand against the wall for support. He slowly levered himself upright. There was a trickle of blood running down his forehead and over his eye which he quickly wiped away. Why did Hojo hit him? A little voice in my head said one word, inconsequential, and I decided to leave that question alone. I would be…better off that way.

"Where are you headed to in such a hurry?" Hojo peered through his spectacles in disgust at the cowering man.

"I'm sorry, sir, I-I'm new you see and-"

Again Hojo's fist flew out and caught the younger man across the face. This time the boy was ready for it and only staggered back against the wall, as opposed to crashing into it. "That wasn't the question!" Hojo thundered.

"I'm sorry, sir!" Tears of anxiety began to well in the young man's eyes. I took a moment to glance around the hallway. It was now nearly deserted. No one came around the corners but I could tell that at least five people were waiting around each one, watching what was taking place. I should do something. As soon as that thought came to my head, the same simple voice sprang to life and said plainly, it is not your place, and that was all.

"I was going to lab 4, Professor Hojo, sir!"

"Not anymore," came the professor's simple reply. I heard a small gasp issue from around the corner. "Accompany me to lab 1. I have a special assignment for you in particular." The man fell to his knees and began to sob. Hojo glanced downwards once again for a moment and then turned to me. "You too, Sephiroth. You don't have time for breakfast anymore. We need to get down to work right away."

"Yes, professor Hojo, sir," I replied automatically.

The three of us walked down silent hallways, without a word to one another. The only audible sound was that of our luckless companion's small sobs. He clutched feverishly to his coat and shuddered with the effort of keeping his weeping silent. As we turned a corner, a small group of men came into view. They glanced in our direction and then swiftly dispersed in separate directions. Why is everyone scared of us? That does not concern you.

At last we came to two large steel doorways. Hojo stopped and myself and the other man followed suit. Quietly he motioned for the two of us to proceed through the left doorway. The other man let out a small smothered gasp that sounded vaguely as though he were saying "no" but cut himself short as he received a glare from Hojo. The two of us walked slowly through the sliding steel doorway and I caught a brief glance of Hojo making his way through the door on the right. Behind us the door shut with a soft purring of gears and electricity. The soft 'kushunk' of the doorway sounded and the man beside me fell to his knees.

"Oh god…oh god." Tears fell freely from his eyes and onto the bright white tiles. What's wrong with him? "I'm going to die…I…I'm going to die here." Why? Why was he so sure of this? "What did I do?" What did he do? "How the fuck do I deserve this?"

"What's wrong?" As my mouth formed the question, something in my head began to buzz. It grew louder and louder until it felt as though it were pounding at the inside of my skull. The man pounded the ground with his fists and looked up at me with a tear streaked face. Why did that face seem so familiar? Why did I feel like this had happened before? Why does this feel like I'm recalling some distant childhood memory?

"Please…you…you can help me can't you?" His voice was dripping with desperation. "I know what you are but…god dammit your still a child aren't you?" He…knows what I am? Aren't I only a child? Why does he have any question about that? The buzzing grew into a cacophonous roar in my head. "You must have some kind of innocence, some kind of child's innocence…don't you?" Why did I know what he was going to say next? How so I know what he's going to say next? He's going to grab at my pants next.

The man shuffled toward me on his knees and reached out to grab hold of my pant leg. He stared up into my eyes with his own blurry wet ones. Why does this all feel like a memory? Why does the present feel like the past? He clawed up my body and came to rest on my shoulders. He looked me in the eye with frightened eyes.

"Please…don't let them kill me…don't kill me. I…I have a wife. Dammit! I have-"

"Two children and one on the way." The words fell from my mouth before I knew what I was saying. The look in his eyes changed briefly from fear to surprise.

"How did you…?" He shook his head and continued. "Please…I'm begging you. They need food…that's the only reason I work at this godforsaken place."

"I don't have any love for Shinra. What they do is disgusting." The crashing noises in my head grew louder. My hands left my sides and rose up to grip my surely rattling skull. I pulled at my hair and began to tear at it. This did not make the noise subside. I looked back down at the man who had now removed himself from me and was backing up slowly. Staggering, I made my way to the kneeling man. My hands shot out and dug into his shoulders. Memories of the near future kept flooding into my booming mind.

"I have a name. I'm not just another face in the crowd. I lived my life fairly and never meant anyone any harm." Terror began to creep its way across the crouched man's face once again as I began to scream the words he should have said. "And what the hell did I do? What the hell did I do to deserve this? Dammit I know life isn't fair but what the fuck!"

"Stop it…"

"So I'm asking you to help me Sephiroth! You're strong enough to get us both out of here! For the love of whatever you hold sacred help me! Don't you have any compassion?" I paused for a moment and took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm myself. At this point my head was screeching with terrible noises. At the front of it all came a single voice screaming at me to shut up and kill the man in front of me. "Is that what you were going to say? Are those the words you were going to use? Why do I know that? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?"

The noise became overwhelming. I hurled the man away from me where he crashed into the wall and crumpled to the floor. I clutched desperately at my screaming head and stumbled backwards. Where is this all coming from? Why do I know all of these things? What is going on? Why does it feel like there are two of me?

Stop asking questions, only then will the pain go away. Kill the man and be done with it.

Shut up! I'm done with you, you loveless bastard! Dammit I'm better than this! Change it! Change the-

Shut up! It's impossible! Kill the man Sephiroth! Stop the pain and kill him!

They're using you! Get away! Run away and change your fate!

It can't be changed. Kill him now and the pain will stop. That is what matters Sephiroth! Do it now!

"SHUT UP!"

Sweat was pouring out of my forehead and into my eyes. Why are there two voices? Why are there two people inside my head? Why can't I tell which one to follow? What do I do? Why can't someone tell me what to do?

"What the hell is going on?"

Movement, across the hall. The man shifted in his seat and bowed his head in fear. He trembled and sweat fell from his brow to the floor. He was trying to say something. Small noises issued from his throat, almost like he was choking on his own words. Don't say anything. Please don't say anything. If you say something now it will be too much.

"Please…help me…"

In a flash I was across the floor with my hand buried down to my elbow in his chest. Blood exploded out behind the man and on to the wall behind him. His frightened eyes looked at me for a moment and then glazed over. White liquid smeared its way over the iris and pupil and made them fade slightly. I couldn't breathe. I was breathing so heavily though. Why is everything so opposed to itself? At the end of the hallway, a large white door opened. The door looked familiar…so familiar.

Then it all exploded back into me. In the doorway, Hojo stared, looking down at me with my hand so bloody and gruesome. A smile eked its way into place on his otherwise bland face. Tears, too large for my eyes began to form and fall swiftly from my lids. Is everything so bound to repeat itself? How had I forgotten? What made me forget who I was? Who I had become? Dammit I should have changed things…I could have…dammit what is wrong with me?

The buzzing in my head was replaced by an intense feeling of sadness. How could I have lost who I was? I want to protect people now…am I that weak that I could forget that? This man…this corpse now…I remember him now all too well. He was the catalyst. He was the first man I ever killed; the first person I ever let go and killed without reason. He was where it all started. I was given a second chance…and I blew it.

Hojo began to laugh in the doorway. It was the same doorway I had entered to come into this memory of the past. Quietly, I removed my bloodstained hand and walked slowly toward the doorway. As I drew nearer, the laughing grew louder and louder, deafening me for a moment as I drew up next to the giddy scientist.

"I will beat this," I told him quietly as I passed.

As I strode under the arch of the doorway, the whole world flashed white and disappeared. I felt the weight of the paper in my pocket disappear and I looked inside to see the card slowly turn to ash inside. My eyes reopened to the familiar look of a bright white hallway with yet another plateau with a large white door. I paused for a moment and then stepped forward to allow the door to shut behind me. It crashed shut and Hojo's laughter was cut off. For a moment I stood in silence in the white hallway until the hush was interrupted with a foot coming to rest on the tiled floor.

"Hojo…as a fellow scientist I envy him." Stepping from behind a pillar, a somewhat aged man with long blonde hair came into view. He wore the black leather suit that Axel and the others wore. In his hand he held a large blue shield. On his face he held a large sneer. He looked at me with apparent interest. "And as an experiment…I am very curious about you, Sephiroth."

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Oh my god. This took so long to get to. First I was in trouble with my girlfriend…then I started watching Bleach…then Naruto fansubs until I couldn't stop…it seemed as though, for a time, Angel Memories would needed to have been put off for a long time because I was so obsessed with Bleach at the time.

But then, like a knight in shining armor cresting a hill and charging to my rescue…xsaturnine arrived. For anyone who doesn't care to here me rant about just one of my reviewers…you can skip til the last paragraph but I think it is necessary that I write this. Ok…so I know I said back in Shadow Feather that I would stop giving preferential treatment to xsaturnine…but she deserves it this time. Just as I was on the brink of giving up writing for a time...now more likely because I am mad sick…I logged onto hotmail to check my email and…lo and behold…8! 8 reviews! All at once! Good lord who can they be from? Surely not only one person? They are? Well then it couldn't possibly be…

And it was. Xsaturnine…who I had long though to have disappeared from my review pages…had returned. Do not think for a moment that you have any reason to be apologetic. Even if I minded the lack of recent reviews…your ability…no…your gift to give me reviews at the most needed junctions more than make up for it. You gave me the motivation needed to continue and not only that but enjoy it. So xsaturnine…I thank you. And don't worry about not coming in a while because you are the roxxorz anyway.

And to all you other people who are not xsaturnine…which should be the majority of you…I thank anime warrior girl for yet another awesome review, vratix and heartsoblivion for the same and of course Unita for being awesome as always and reviewing right away…I'm sorry it took so long guys…I will try and do better next time I promise.