Round of applause to each and every person who has ever read this. Be aware that this was written by a 13 year old middle school girl LMAO and here I am reading this back at almost 21 years old. I have never laughed harder in my life. This is comedy gold to me. I'm so glad I never deleted this throughout the years because believe it or not, I graced the internet with far worse back in the day which is now rich history deleted for good. I never expected this to blow up like it did and it pleases me greatly to know so many people were blessed by this absolute masterpiece.