Disclaimer: I don't own FMA . you knew this.

Warning. Spoilers...sorta


Once upon a time, in the magical land of Godivachocolateonastick, there lived a pickle named George. Sadly, george was female. Godivachocolateonastick was a happy land of peace, prosperity, and strange odors.

Unfortuantely this story isn't about George, Godivachocolateonastick, OR refrigerators, so GET OVER IT! Damned electricians and your whinings about pea soup.

This story is about Edward ElnoIwasjustkidding. I lied. This is a tale of peace and love and MAGIC SQUIRRELS. This is the tale...

OF HOW ENVY CAME TO BE.

When a mother and a father love eatchother very much, they SCREW EACHOTHER. Then the fuglynotassexyasRiza mother has a fuglynotassexyasRiza baby and the fuglynotassexyasRiza baby gets mercury poisoning and dies. Then the HawtbutnotashawtasRiza father tries to bring it back to life and FAILS MISERABLE BECAUSE HE MAKES A SWEET TRANSVESTITE.

Then, father time comes out of nowhere and hits people with his magic fingers, then goes and gets pissed off at Brak so he explodes and time goes out of whack and EVERYONE DIES.

But then everything got fixed again because Envy is a whore. YAY FOR SHINEY WHORES!