Chapter 23! Enjoy!

Brooke laid in bed listen as Karen tried to get her baby to sleep. Lucas and Ella were sleeping through the whole thing, but not Brooke. Erin was screaming at the top of her lungs, while whatever Karen was doing was clearly not working. She seemed to take so much pride in the fact that she was a mother again… telling Brooke what a wonderful feeling it was to take care of someone else… Brooke really didn't get it… I mean she loved Ella with all her heart… but Ella was potty trained, slept through the night, and most importantly… loved her back. Brooke wasn't ready for the responsibility of having to deal with some helpless baby. She'd tried to explain it to Lucas, but he really didn't get it. He just kept swearing to her it would all get better, just to give it time. He didn't understand all time was going to do was make her fat and even less prepared for whatever was going to happen.

All of this thinking was starting to give her a headache… and make her kind of hungry too. She really wanted something sweet… and fruity… great now she was craving healthy foods. This was seriously screwed up.

"What's wrong?" Lucas yawned wrapping his arms around Brooke's waist. Brooke could tell he was clearly only ½ awake.

"Just thinking"

"Now whose the brooder"

"I'm not brooding" Brooke sighed not in the mood to get into this again…

"Yea you are"

"Your sister wont shut up"

"So I noticed" Lucas yawned again checking to see if Ella was still asleep with all the noise Erin was making.

"When's your mother leaving?"

"Probably when we explain everything to her"

"Can't we just like… kick her out? Its our place" Brooke whined. She was so ready to get rid of Karen… that would at least make her feel a little better… and maybe get her and Lucas out of a few lectures.

"Good luck with that one"

"She's going to be so pissed"

"So?" Lucas asked. He didn't care… and didn't know why Brooke did. It wasn't like there was anything they could do to take it back.

"I'm hungry… do we have any apples?"

"You banned healthy food remember?"

"Apple flavored anything?" Brooke asked trying to figure out what she had had against apples last week…

"Juice?"

"No… this sucks… I'll just end up throwing it up anyway"

"It's not going to be THAT bad Brooke" Lucas whispered hugging her. Brooke just rolled her eyes. Of course it was going to be THAT bad… it already was.

"Yes it is Lucas… ok? It is"

"Remember when we had to volunteer our first day…"

"Yea" Brooke sighed getting annoyed with Lucas. He was going to give her some speech about how everything had turned out ok… and she really didn't want to hear it.

"And you knew it was going to be one of the most terrible things you'd ever done"

"Yea"

"Look what happened…" Lucas whispered pointing to Ella. She had to give it to him on this one. He was right… if they hadn't gotten caught pretty much naked in a water fountain they wouldn't have had anything to do with Ella…

"This is different"

"I love you Brooke, but I'm not going to fight with you about this"

"Fight with me?" Brooke ½ laughed. Of course he was going too… she was actually in the mood for a fight… yelling made her a little less stressed out, especially knowing that it would make Lucas as pissed as she was.

"I don't know what you want me to do? Its not like I can magically make this go away Brooke… It doesn't work like that!"

"Really? Because I had no idea"

"I don't know what you want me to say" Lucas finally said shaking his head at her. He really didn't… he couldn't yell at her because he knew what she was probably feeling like, he couldn't be nice to her because it just made her madder… it was impossible to do anything with her.

"Something other than 'Oh Brooke… its going to get better, its going to be great' blah blah blah! Lucas… its really not"

"Its not like you didn't know this could happen… we both did"

"Yes but there is a reason for birth control Lucas! If I'd wanted a baby I'd have thrown away my patch and the condoms and jumped you" Brooke whisper yelled, making sure not to wake up Ella. She didn't need to be hearing any of this…

"I'm not doing this with you tonight"

"You wont ever do this… you know why? Because you're happy…"

"I'm not happy if you're going to be like this" Lucas said practically giving up on her…

"But you are happy!"

"What other choice do we have Brooke? This is going to happen whether you want it to or not… so you can either ignore it and stay miserable the entire time… or just deal with it and enjoy what we can of it… what's so different between a baby and Ella?"

"What's so different? We want her! She needs us… you know what? I'm going to go buy some apples…" Brooke said giving Lucas her death glare. She needed to get out of that house with the screaming baby at least.

"Brooke…"

"No…" Brooke snapped throwing on her sweatshirt. She really wasn't trying to be unreasonable. Of course she knew there was nothing they could do about any of this… but that didn't mean she didn't get to be sad or upset… or mad. Furious was more like it… and she wasn't even sure at who… It wasn't so much Lucas's fault… and if she blamed him she had to blame herself too… and she guessed it wasn't really the babies fault… after all it hadn't exactly asked for this. Maybe the people at the birth control or condom companies? After all they were supposed to be preventing this… maybe she'd call and give them a piece of her mind.

By the time she'd made it to her car that idea didn't seem as smart… and she really didn't want an apple so much anymore. But she couldn't go back inside… not after the way she had just yelled at Lucas… for no reason really. He was just trying to make things better and she was ripping his throat out. Brooke laid back in her seat and turned the inside lights on… she looked at her perfectly manicured fingers, then at the rings on her finger. She had been so tired she'd completely forgotten to take them off. Lucas had done a really good job with the engagement ring, she thought of how many girls would have killed for that ring… and Lucas. For everything she had… and here she was just trying to make it all go away, and put things back to the way they were. That's when the guilt hit her… she was acting like her mother.

She remembered the stories her grandparents had told her when she was younger… about how her mother had cried for months after she found out she was pregnant. How she had gone into a deep depression and almost lost everything. Of course they had always told it to Brooke like it was some kind of joke… but it was never funny. It always burned when she thought about it, and it was even worse now that she was doing the same thing. She looked down at her stomach to see if she could tell any difference… of course there was nothing… she still had her abs, those wouldn't be there much longer she guessed. Her clothes wouldn't fit, no more alcohol. She still was anything but happy about this… but she also sure as hell wasn't going to have Karen telling her kid one day how she didn't want it… so if anything… she'd at least have to pretend to be happy.

The next thing Brooke knew she was rolling over and almost smushed Ella. She was in her bedroom, in her bed… and the sun was up. Lucas was at the desk… writing as usual, and Ella was hogging his side of the bed. Brooke wasn't sure if she'd dreamed last night… or if she'd been to tired to remember walking back upstairs from her car. Either way it kind of freaked her out.

"How'd…" She started but the nausea hit her before she could finish.

"I carried you up about 1AM…"

"I feel like crap"

"Morning sickness?" Lucas asked seeing how pale Brooke looked. He hated seeing her like that. She was clearly miserable.

"That too… I'm sorry about last night, I was mad and you were there beside me"

"Peyton called to check on you… make sure you hadn't done anything drastic… you aren't going to do anything drastic are you?"

"You know me better than that" Brooke sighed knowing he did. She wasn't that crazy… although with the mood swings she'd been having lately she was starting to wonder what she would and wouldn't do…

"You ok now?"

"Not really… but I don't really have a choice do I?"

"We can make this good…" Lucas whispered kissing her forehead. She decided to just try and believe him this morning. They'd fought enough the past few days to last a year… so she figured she'd give him a break and just change t he subject.

"Where's you're mom?"

"She took Erin outside to get some air, I told her I'd talk to her later"

"I told Ella we'd take her shopping for her room today" Brooke smiled. She was excited about that. Shopping always made her feel better, plus shopping for Ella's room was going to be even more fun! Everything could be pinks and purples and yellows.

"We've got to meet with Marshall at 2 anyway… you up for it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really…" Lucas laughed helping her our of bed.

"Then bring it on…we're just going to have to do some serious lying to Ella"

"Right…Maybe she wont even remember?"

While Brooke was in the shower Lucas attempted to get Ella dressed and ready… and convince her there was no baby. Turns out she was a lot harder to convince than he had thought she would be. Apparently the thought of a brother or a sister thrilled her and she wanted nothing to do with what Lucas was telling her.

"Bwut there two babies" Ella whispered patting Lucas's cheek like she was teaching him something. It had been the same game for 30 minutes now…

"Just you"

"Why?"

"Because… we love you most" Lucas said for what seemed like the millionth time.

"How's it going…"

"Not well"

"Mommy…" Ella giggled at Brooke with her wet hair, standing there in her robe.

"Hey baby… we're going to go visit Marshall today!"

"Nowa"

"She is not a morning person"

"Mommy and I will take you shopping" Lucas said, almost begging. It was so important that today went well… if they could just make it through lunch then they'd be in the clear, at least for a little while.

"Fwor pink?"

"Anything pink you want"

"Right… because you're our only baby…" Brooke added trying to make that as clear as possible.

"Lucas… oh sorry"

"I'm going to get ready anyway"

"She looks pale" Karen whispered once Brooke had left the room. She remembered her days of morning sickness and sleepless nights and really felt bad for Brooke.

"She didn't get much sleep last night"

"Don't worry… I'm leaving today… I just wanted to talk some before I left, Ella why don't you go play for a minute"

"Nowa" Ella whined getting comfortable in Lucas's lap. Lucas was starting to think that Ella really didn't like Karen, not that he blamed her, Karen hadn't exactly been very welcoming to the 2 year old.

"Lucas I can understand you 2 wanting to keep Ella… I mean you've practically raised her, and she's made the 2 of you mature more than I ever thought I'd see you do in such a short amount of time… and truthfully… if it were just her I would probably support this… you two are clearly good with her, at least as good as anyone else would be"

"But…"

"But Lucas, a baby is going to change everything, is it really fair to keep her if you're going to be pre-occupied with a newborn? Adopted children take much more attention than if you and Brooke had had Ella… there's going to be time issues, money… not to mention jealousy… is it really fair to do that to her or a baby? I know you think its fine now, but there's something about having a baby, that's yours… that you made, it's just a different kind of love, and you'll realize that when you and Brooke have this baby" Karen smiled, trying to make it as clear but nice as possible.

"I can't believe you just said that to me…"

"Lucas…"

"Is that how it would have been if Keith had adopted me? He would have treated me like his son until you 2 had one of your own?" Lucas asked. Living in New York had made him forget what a hypocrite his mother could be… and how much she could seriously piss him off sometimes.

"Lucas… it's different with Keith"

"How?"

"I… It just is" Karen stuttered not able to think of a reason at that particular second… but she was sure that there was one.

"You spent my whole life telling me it wasn't blood that mattered… it was what was in you're heart"

"It is… but Lucas you and Brooke are young… to young to be having any children much less taking on the responsibility of one that you don't have too"

"You know… Brooke and I started this because we thought Ella needed us… she didn't have anyone, we were bored and had free time… it wasn't until we almost lost her that we realized we probably needed her more than she needed us… I get to do stuff with her everyday that I wished Dan had done with me, little things that I never planned on doing just because I didn't think I would have anyone I cared about enough to do them with… and Brooke… She's so happy when she's with this little girl, she gets to do stuff for her that she never had… Ella keeps us selfless and on our toes and we learn something new from her everyday" Lucas said… then there was a long pause. Karen was clearly thinking this through… trying to come up with anything to fight it.

"And it'll be the same way when Brooke has this baby"

"It wont… see, of course we'll love this baby… it'll probably be our world for the next 50 years, we'll love it no matter what, ect; but Ella… we got her because we wanted her, we had to fight for her, work harder than we've ever worked for anything… and because of that it'll make up for what's missing in blood and whatever… you should know that as well as anyone"

"Lucas…" Karen sighed shaking her head at her son.

"Do you love me less than Erin because you had me with Dan and not Keith?"

"Of course not Lucas"

"Then what's the difference?" Lucas asked knowing Karen wouldn't have an answer, there wasn't one.

"Things you cant begin to imagine…"

"Don't bring this up to Brooke, she's already so insecure about this baby as it is"

"You and Brooke are in for a long road ahead Lucas, just remember I'm here"

Lucas and Brooke finally got Karen out of the house… and were almost ready to start their day of shopping, and meetings, they would have been out earlier except it was finally starting to make since to Brooke why here pants were all a little tight. Especially her super tight favorite pair of jeans. That right there was enough to throw her over the edge as it was.

"Lucas…" Brooke whined struggling to get the button of her jeans in the hole. She was supposed to at least have another good month before having to wear all the ugly clothes that came with being pregnant.

"What… Babe we're gonna be late"

"How can I be gaining weight and still have ab lines?"

"Maybe you aren't gaining fat?" Lucas asked, he really had no idea what he was talking about but with Brooke any answer was better than none.

"Damn it… they wont buckle"

"You're going to squash the baby"

"Its not big enough to squash… believe me, which is why my pants should all still fit" Brooke said holding her breath… she was trying to suck in as much as possible hoping that that might help.

"Just wear a different pair"

"I don't want a different pair… I want these… there buckled"

"Brooke… change jeans" Lucas laughed waiting for the button on the poor jeans to snap.

"Why… they're buckled…"

"Because I think its going to cut off your circulation…"

"They fit…fine…I'm on a diet from now on" Brooke sighed undoing the way too tight jeans. Why did life have to suck so much?

"Really? Ella wanted ice cream"

"That's not fair!"

"You want ice cream…" Lucas laughed watching Brooke's expression become even more pitiful.

"No… your kid wants ice cream… I want my jeans to fit"

"I have a feeling I know whose going to win this one"

"Stupid little… I mean darling baby, you better be a girl in there because I cant tolerate another Scott boy" Brooke sighed patting her stomach… while rolling her eyes as someone knocked at the door.

"Change jeans… I'll get the door"

"I comes too" Ella shrieked trailing behind Lucas as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Yea… just leave me here to sulk over my poor pants… these are $300 jeans!"

"We could pay ½ the rent with that!"

"Don't start with me or I might have to find a pair of $600 jeans!" Brooke muttered loud enough so Lucas could hear her.

"Or you could design your own…"

"I opens it" Ella said trying to reach the doorknob. She was about 3 inches too short when she held her arms up to try and grab it. It didn't help that she was already so much smaller than most kids her age.

"You can open it"

"I dids it daddy!"

"I know… good job" Lucas laughed, finding it funny that something as simple as opening a door made Ella so excited.

"Who dats?"

"Nate"