Just a short chapter…cause my personal life has recently gone to shit...but I will persevere!

Disclaimer: You think you're sooooo cool don't you? The Man? Well you know what? I'm afraid I just don't have the energy to stick it to ya right now. But you just wait. I don't own anything, yet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel Memories: Chapter 13

Voice Activated

Light flashed and my head pounded briefly as I staggered through the door and out into another identical hallway. My legs felt like lead, only more painful, and my arms were burning with something intense that I just couldn't seem to place. I felt hollow, lifeless and cold, but triumphant at the same time. My mind briefly pondered Axel and his puzzling appearance, but soon gave up and let it be, too tired to formulate any sort of rational hypothesis.

I dragged slowly across the white tiles, tired and sluggish. A rest is what I needed. When was the last time I had one of those? Good lord…when was the last time I ever rested? Try as I might, I couldn't recall a single time since I had left Traverse Town, what seemed like eons ago. Not that it matters. I can't rest now. If I rest in here, those people will find me.

"We'll talk soon enough though." Zexion's last words rang inside my head like an unpleasant ringing. Why was he so sure of that? It didn't really matter though, not really. I don't have any power in this place, so it's best not too worry about where I'm going. Just go up, that's all I really need to know.

And then a noise, echoing softly from the space beyond the door, reached my ears on tiny wings. By this time, my unconscious walking had brought me to near the halfway point of the hallway. I turned and saw that the large white doorway was shuddering slightly. Suddenly, it cracked open slightly, a thin beam of light falling harshly onto the floor and glaring up into my eyes.

It opened quietly and after several seconds, stood completely ajar. From inside, two figures became apparent. One wore the traditional robes that everyone seemed to wear in this place. His long hair fell forward in two long clumps, while the rest of it descended casually down his back.

"Vexen."

I said his name quietly, focusing on him as he came into view. His smirk was poorly concealed and he seemed to be chuckling silently to himself. I watched him as he stepped out from the glittering doorway and then turned to beckon his companion to follow. This one was smaller, about the size of a young boy, and he carried himself with an air of uncertainty. As his shape grew clearer against the bright light, I stepped back in shock and just barely managed to catch myself before falling entirely to the ground.

"Riku?"

The silver haired boy stepped out of the door and onto the white tiles. He blinked for a moment and then rubbed his eyes under the change in lighting. He paused for a moment and shook a stray piece of hair from his face before he turned his focus on me.

"Sephiroth?"

I felt woozy and unsure of what to do. I wanted to run to him and make sure that he was ok. He was finally standing in front of me again, and isn't that what I had wanted? But even as I took a step forward, something hit me. Something was out of place with the Riku in front of me. Why was he standing so calmly with Vexen? What had Vexen said that would let him feel so comfortable around him? And why…why was he wearing those clothes?

He stood by the door with the same face and bright aqua eyes, but his body was covered in a dark costume, adorned with the Heartless symbol on the chest. It was completely black all around his torso but as it branched outwards, it grew into a deep blood red, forming gauntlets around his gloved fingers. Around his waist he wore a ragged white cloth that was fastened on by several belts. It was the same clothing he wore while under the influence of Maleficent's gifts.

"What the hell did you do to him?" I turned to face Vexen, my eyes now set like stone. My legs stopped shaking and I felt rejuvenated in my strength. Strength born from the hatred I was feeling toward this horrid man.

"Do to him?" Vexen smiled evilly. "Why, nothing at all, at least…not the Riku that you know."

I looked carefully at Riku. Something about him was certainly wrong. He looked the same but there was something, some small detail that was so clearly wrong. I couldn't place it. Then I returned my gaze to Vexen and my memory caught up to me. "It would be an honor to repeat your experiment…"

Vexen's eyes lit up in recognition of his own words. "Ah…I see you do listen to people when they talk to you."

"Vexen…what is he talking about?" Riku turned with suspicious eyes on the scientist beside him. He gripped the hilt of his sword tighter. There was a raging storm behind his cold aqua eyes. Vexen smiled and reached out to place a hand on the boy's head which was quickly knocked away by the youth. "This is what Sora and that…other me…we're talking about, isn't it?" Vexen nodded gravely. "Why does everyone insist that I can't be Riku? It doesn't make any sense? Haven't they known me long enough to recognize me?"

Vexen scowled darkly and kneeled down in front of the new Riku. "It's because they're trying to hurt you. You remember some of the things you did…while Ansem was controlling you? Right?" The replica nodded with a grimace. "Well they don't seem to be ready to forgive yet. So…" he paused and looked at me. "They would rather accept that other Riku, the fake who is stealing who you are, because he was never taken advantage of like you were. But they don't understand that…they only see the times you hurt them, never stopping to think about why."

Riku's bottom lip shuddered and he turned with indecisive eyes to look at me. "Even you Sephiroth? I thought you might understand…after all…you'd been in my position once…hadn't you?"

He looked at me with pleading eyes, but I remained silent.

"Didn't you have to live with a voice in your head, always telling you to do something terrible?" He shook his head and tears fell from his eyes. "Didn't you feel that too?"

My fingers grew tense against the hilt in my hand but the rest of me remained stock still, staring intently at the false Riku.

"Don't you know what it's like! Don't you understand?" He thrust his arms out, his sword clattering to the floor and sliding across the white tiles. "Can't you forgive me?"

The boy shook with sobs as he stood there. His arms soon fell to his sides and his knees hit the floor. Tears fell freely from his eyes and pooled slowly on the floor beneath him.

"I just want to be accepted again…I want my friends back. I'm tired of running from them…I just…I just want them back."

Masamune vibrated softly in my hand. I stared, still and cold down at the prostrate Riku on the floor. I didn't know what I could say. This wasn't the Riku I knew. It wasn't the Riku that I had worked so tirelessly to keep from harm…but why shouldn't I care about this one as well? He's so much like me. So much like me…when I discovered I wasn't a human.

First it was denial. I remember thrashing about the basement of that terrible place, hurling books and smashing bookcases until my arms were sore. Then resignation. I fell back into the chair behind the desk and gave up on life, deciding that I would let myself wither away in that cellar. And finally came madness. I searched for some kind of redemption and could only find hope in the destruction of others. One reason was all I needed to burn the entire town to the ground.

What stage was this boy at?

I never truly had friends…he thought he did. What must that feel like…to find out that everyone you think you know…has never met you before? It must be a terrible feeling. His fingers were scraping against the tiles, grabbing against nothing and smashing downward again and again on the ground, now wet from his tears. Nobody had told me anything…nobody had explained what I was. Maybe that's where it went wrong for me. I couldn't let it happen to anyone else.

"I know what it's like."

My voice sounded hollow and wrong, stripped of emotion. But there was an intense feeling of purpose behind it.

"I know what it's like to find out that I was never real. I know what it's like to question what right I have to exist. I know what it's like…" I turned my gaze from Riku to Vexen, "To have a voice constantly whispering lies into my ear. It's terrible."

Riku looked up with wet eyes, sniveling slightly and gasping for breath. His eyes seemed to still shine with suspicion despite his otherwise hopeful demeanor.

"It's terrible and sometimes overwhelming. People turning against you and stabbing you in the back and the worst thing is that you know that they have a good reason and you deserve it. And eventually it grows out of your control and the wall inside your head crumbles and this…this flood of something black and terrible surges forward and blots out everything except what you can do to keep yourself sane."

Vexen smiled slightly but there was fear in that expression, obvious and unavoidable fear. Apparently, whatever it was that I was doing, I wasn't doing it the way he had planned. His left hand slowly lowered and hid behind his back.

"But that's a lie and you know it. That doesn't matter though…because you know that if you second guess yourself then you'll find out that you were wrong and that everything you did was awful and you really are to blame for all those things and then you know you'll really go crazy. So you ignore the messages, the instincts and semi-thoughts you dream up while your awake until you've become cold and unfeeling and kill anything that vexes you at all." I looked back to the Riku on the floor and shook my dry, cold eyes. "I know what it's like."

Slowly he dried his eyes and stared cautiously at me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking. I knew he hadn't felt all these things. I knew he was still just coping with the beginning stages but that didn't matter to me.

"And when you finally find the light again, you always feel like you were too late, too weak and too foolish to ever catch up to the real heroes. So you try and you try but you know what you find out? It's not for you after all. You can't protect everyone and trying only ends up harming you as well. And is it worth it? In the end? I don't even know. But I know one thing…"

I tilted Masamune toward the ground slightly, weighing it in my palm. The blade glinted dangerously and I heard Vexen give off an audible gulp. He shuffled backward slightly and pressed his hand against the large door.

"You can't let voices tell you what to do!"

As my feet left the ground, the door flashed bright white and blinded me momentarily. Acting solely on memory, I dashed forward and slashed violently into the blinding light. Masamune met no resistance in it's attack and I jumped backward and sheathed the blade, readying myself for any counter attack that could come my way.

After a few seconds, the light faded and disappeared. I quickly scanned the hall to find that I was once again alone. I stood up straight and relaxed my grip on Masamune's hilt. With a sigh and small scoff, I flicked a stray hair out of my face and strode toward the other end of the hallway.

And sometimes…you just need to work out your problems on your own. Next time we meet, I'll tell him what he really is. I may be growing cold again but I'm not going to let other people end up like me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ugh…I really don't like the ending of this chapter…I figure I'll change it later. Whatever…tell me if you think it's ok. Hehe…guess what I just realized. So…I have kinda been going on about Namine a bit and how mysterious she is, right? Well I just realized, when searching for the Vexen quote I used again, that Vexen already kind of explained exactly what she does…just not who she is or why shes here. So there goes a bit of the mystery. Oh well.

Sigh…so my life has been falling apart recently…I realize that I hate where I live and I don't actually have anyone within 45 minutes travel from my own home who I can garner a hug from. I never realized how much I require hugs…its very strange. I'm not sure if I like how cute and bouncy I am on the inside…but I know that I hate how I can't display it in my current surroundings.

I need a girlfriend…any takers? I'm not hideous…

I think the sad thing about that is that I'm only half kidding. Meh…so as I was saying…my life has gone to shit recently and I need a hug. But I need to stop angsting to you guys about getting hugs…it's not really fair. This isn't live journal or anything…well even though I kinda use it for one. Whatever.

So can anyone tell me if Riku Replica survives after Chain of Memories. I seem to have forgotten exactly what happens. Also about my plea for information regarding Sephiroth's role in KH2, I should tell you exactly what I want so that you don't accidentally ruin the game for me.

Does he have any affiliation with the Organization?

if so, with which characters does he seem to be dealing with…don't tell me details…just…who and what kind of deal.

Is he still a meanie? That's probably obvious but I'd appreciate the info.

DO NOT under any circumstance say anything about the battles concerning him. I don't want to know about how many people he fights or who he fights. That will make me very angry if you tell me.

That about covers it.

And thank you to xsaturnine, Unita and Heartsoblivion for being so cool and reviewing again. Congratulations are in order for Unita who finally beat Marluxia. That's awesome. Now you can know who I was talking about when I mention Zexion and Lexaeus.

You know what bad I like? Dir en Grey…