Like some creepy thing with too many eyes and a bunch of slimy tentacles, I rise once again from the depths of fan fiction dot net.

Ok maybe it wasn't that long of a break but I have my apology down at the bottom for you.

I disclaim some things. Other things I claim. Can you figure out what? Go ahead and try, it's like a treasure hunt for lawyers. You can do it kids, just put your mind to it and anything is possible.

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Angel Memories: Chapter 20

Red sin Spiral

(artful redemption)

My eyes wavered and my gaze shook. For what felt like the longest time, sleep had not these burning eyelids shut. In front of me, gripped tightly by my tense fingers, a single paged filled my vision and shook slightly with my unsteady eyes. Or maybe it wasn't really my eyes at all. Were my arms quivering? I felt my legs give way and I fell backwards into the enormous leather sear behind me.

How long had I been in this basement? It felt like years, hundreds of years of constant searching and reading and never a single wink of sleep. What must the men be thinking? Surely they would have left by now. Zack would have taken care of that. But would he have stayed and waited? How long have I kept him waiting now?

No…that doesn't matter anymore. I've kept someone else waiting for far longer than he. Oh…how long has it been? How long have you been waiting for me now? Has it really been only these short few years I have been alive? Of course not. You've been waiting much longer than that. To be so patient…to of waited for so long…

I do apologize. That it took me so long to find you that is. Even you must have grown tired of waiting. You must be quite upset at me after all these years now. Do not be angry though, I would have come sooner if only I had know. They kept you from me, you know? All my life, everyone I knew has been lying to me…keeping me from you. Are they afraid? Were they afraid? Should the sons and daughters of traitors have need to fear you? Those who betrayed you…why should their children suffer that same terror?

I'm sorry…I still can't hear you clearly yet. Your words can not yet reach my weakened ears. Even so…I think I understand. The children need not fear for the sins of their parents. It is only for their own sins that they must fear your judgment. Is that what you are saying? Yes…I can tell…even if I can't hear your words yet…I can feel your approval.

Then they are all sinners…aren't they? Not a single person ever tried to give it back to you. No one ever made an attempt to bring you back. And worst of all, they lied to me and kept me from reaching you. Well don't worry anymore. I did manage to find you after all. Despite all of their lies and deceit, I found you.

My palms, wet with perspiration from the excitement I was feeling, rose in front of me, holding the one sheet of paper that held all the answers I had ever wanted on it.

""…an organism that was apparently dead, was found in a 2000 year old geological stratum. Professor Gast named that organism, Jenova…X Year, X Month, X Day. Jenova confirmed to be an Ancient …X Year, X Month, X Day. Jenova Project approved. The use of Mako Reactor I approved for use…"

Jenova…Hojo had always talked about her. Their names are the same, aren't they? That can't be mere coincidence anymore. No…there was never any real doubt in my mind. You are Jenova. You are…

My own laughter ripped the silence in the basement into shreds. It exploded into the air and filled every atom of my body with a feeling so intense that I could hardly sit still. I felt stronger, I felt empowered and more able to do anything than ever before. Every inch of me was charged with energy and burning with a concentrated fervor that surpassed all other feelings I had ever experienced.

From the doorway to the library, I heard footsteps and the door slowly creaked open. Without turning I lowered my head and quieted myself to a small chuckle before casually tossing the paper onto the desk in front of me.

"What is a sinner such as yourself doing here at such a late hour?"

Zack shuffled uncomfortably by the doorway and scratched at the back of his head for a moment before responding. "A sinner like…?" he began to question but then shook his head and continued with his original purpose. "Well it's three in the morning and I thought I might check to make sure nothing happened to you."

He stopped, expecting me to respond but I remained silent. After several minutes he continued awkwardly. "I sent the men home but Cloud Strife stayed behind…it is his town you know. We're all worried that something terrible might have happened to you down here."

"Something terrible?" I stood up from my place at the desk and raised my cold palms to my face, pushing my silver locks over my shoulders until they cascaded down my back in a regular pattern. "Something…terrible…has happened?" I turned to face the boy who stood tensely by the doorway. "Is that what you assumed?"

For a moment it looked like he was going to speak but he closed his mouth and I continued unhindered. "Zack…something wonderful has happened." I felt a smile crawl onto my lips and they parted to let my gleaming teeth shine through the dusty yellow light of the library. "I've finally found her, Zack."

"Found…Sephiroth who are you talking about?"

"You are really an ignorant sinner…aren't you?"

Zack paused and looked down at the ground silently. He seemed to be genuinely worried about the things I was saying. Well I suppose he should be.

"Sinner?" Zack looked at me with pleading eyes. He was so confused…so ignorant. Well why shouldn't I enlighten him? I am not so cruel as others to keep the truth from the ignorant.

"You ignorant sinner. I'll tell you. This was an itinerant race. They would migrate in, settle the Planet, then move on… At the end of their harsh, hard journey, they would find the Promised Land and supreme happiness. But, those who stopped their migrations built shelters and elected to lead an easier life. They took that which the Cetra and the planet had made without giving back one whit in return! Those are your ancestors."

Zack stepped forward with a pained expression, searching for sympathy from me. "Sephiroth…"

In spite of his pleads, I continued. The words fell easily from my lips as I repeated the contents of Gast's notes and added my own deductions to his theories.

"Long ago, disaster struck this planet. Your ancestors escaped… They survived because they hid. The Planet was saved by sacrificing the Cetra. After that, your ancestors continued to increase. Now all that's left of the Cetra is in these reports."

"But…what does this have to do with you?"

Can he really not understand yet? No…he was refusing to understand. He, like so many others are trying to keep me from understanding. Feigning ignorance so that I would agree and follow. Well I' not going to listen to people who do that anymore…it's kept me in the dark for far too long.

"Can't you see it? Can't you see what I am? 2000 years ago, an enormous meteor containing an Ancient named Jenova came crashing down upon the planet, forming the Northern Crater. When discovered, they began the Jenova project, an experiment to create people with the powers of the Ancients…no…the power of the Cetra…the power of Jenova." I felt the charge build again inside me as my scalp began to itch terribly. "And I am the one who was produced."

Zack's breathing faltered for a moment and he leaned against the wall for support. He looked frightened and confused. "Pr…produced?" he stuttered through his labored breathing.

I felt something whisper inside me, a request of sorts. Don't worry…I can understand you now. I have lingered here long enough…I am on my way. Quietly I left the large desk and began to walk down the book lined hall towards Zack and the doorway.

"Se…Sephiroth please…wait a minute. I…I don't understand." Zack stepped forward with a pleading expression and held out his hands in a weak gesture. Inside my head, a fire began to build that pounded along the inside of my skull and nearly caused me to stumble in my path toward the doorway. Suddenly, amongst the whispering voice and raging inferno, I heard something snap.

"Demyx!"

In front of me, in a white tiled room, five men surrounded a young girl with blonde hair. Suddenly, one of the cloaked men keeled over and fell to the ground. The girl yelped and turned only to have one of the larger men grab her and turn her toward the book in her hands.

"Focus on the task at hand!"

"But…"

"He won't die, don't worry about him."

The girl paused for a moment and then nodded with a grim expression. As she slowly guided her pen back to the paper, I felt myself pull together in a sudden rush.

"Namine!"

Her hand quivered for a second as it made its way toward the paper and I saw her bite her bottom lip.

"STOP THIS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO BUT PLEASE! IF YOU HAVE ANY HUMANITY IN YOU I BEG YOU TO ST-"

I drew level with Zack in the dusty library. He stood in front of me with a sorrowful expression of defiance.

"Please Sephiroth. I don't know what you're trying to do…" his voice cracked slightly and rose an octave before continuing. "But I beg you to stop!"

What kind words fell from such sinful lips. All it really amounts to is him trying to postpone my reunion with her. My reunion with…

"Out of my way. I'm going to see Mother."

And with that I pushed the door open and proceeded into the surgical room of the basement. Behind me I heard Zack's voice croak something I couldn't understand before a thump as he fell to his knees and began to sob loudly.

The air outside of the Mansion felt chilly and razor sharp. Beyond the black iron of the small gate, the small town of Nibelheim sat peacefully underneath the starry sky above. It was dark and silent. What is this town Mother? Is it a home? Or is it your prison? I don't think it's either of those, Mother. To me…this town looks like a lie. Does it pain you as it does me to look upon these houses and know that inside are dozens of sinners who lived so close to redemption…but never once attempted to find it?

Should such a thing remain standing?

Of course not mother…of course not.

"NO!" I tore my mind from my memory and fell, gasping and motionless to the cobblestone walk at my feet. "Get out of my head! You don't care about me! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME ANYMORE!"

I stepped forward and felt a fire begin to rise inside me. A raging inferno of power swirled and grew inside me until it began to crackle and burn the place where I stood. Let me give you a gift mother…just one for all of the years I've spent away from you. Do you like the color red, mother?

What a silly question. If it is of your making…I care not what color it is. Paint, my child. Paint, and let this sinful town be your first work of art. Paint here, and we shall make the entire Planet our canvas.

"Then let red be the medium. Let the streets run with the dark crimson of blood, let the houses burn with ruby flames, and let the sky turn scarlet with the coming of dawn!" Raising my right hand I pointed it at the nearest home. Power welled up inside my fist and then exploded outward in a burst of flame that tore away a section of the house and spat flares of light out in all directions, aiding to the conflagration.

"Wake up sinners, or else you'll miss the show."

The screams began within minutes of the first explosion. Soon the people were streaming out of swiftly burning houses in nothing but their night clothes. They gaped in terror at their blazing homes. This is what comes from settling and betraying the Cetra. This is what comes from creating a sinful town filled with lies and deceit.

Finally one man had the sense to run to the well although it was already too late to stop the burning. In a flash, all those who had reached for water were cut down by Masamune and I. The remaining crowd paused, shocked and horrified and then finally one women, one with spiky blonde hair and a long braid, screamed and turned to run. With a smile I dashed forward and flicked my wrist out, ripping through her delicate body and killing her instantly.

The crowd exploded into screams and wails. Almost as a single entity, the entire mob of people turned in unison. Then their synchronicity broke and the square was awash with chaos. Women abandoned their children in order to get ahead in the wild race to the exit and men pushed and shoved neighbors and friends to get by first.

"Despicable."

Raising my hand, I felt it fill with a roiling tide of brilliant energy. Above us all, dark ominous clouds formed and suddenly from above, a bright white flash exploded and bore down on the retreating mass within the blink of an eye. Flesh evaporated under the intense heat and all at once, the exodus was over and not a single sinner survived.

All around me, the houses burned slowly but with intense heat. Corpses littered the cobblestones and blood oozed into puddles that coursed through the cracks in the stone.

A scene from hell…

"Isn't it rather fitting though?"

But of courses. If an angel wishes to become God, he must begin his journey in hell.

Suddenly I fell to my knees, clutching at my head and letting Masamune fall to the blood-soaked ground. I felt weak and helpless as I surveyed the brutal scene in front of me. Even though I'm viewing it all through these same Mako-ridden eyes, it looks so different now. So terrible…so pointless. Tears began to well up in my eyes and a single one grew large enough to drop and course down my face.

"Why…why are you doing this to me?"

"Sephiroth! Why are you doing this!"

I turned to see a man standing shakily by the well. He quivered and sweat poured from his face along with tears. His right hand looked badly burned and beyond repair. He gripped the stone of the well for support.

"Why are you doing this to us?"

I stepped forward, raising Masamune.

"Please! Stop this!"

Like lightning, I struck forward and cut a deep gash into the man's chest. He fell to the ground, gasping for air.

He isn't dead.

He won't last another hour. Jenova remained silent. I stood amongst the roaring flames for several minutes before I heard approaching footsteps coming from the Shinra Mansion. I turned among the blood and fire and gazed contemptuously at the horrified Zack who stood by the black iron fence. Briefly, our eyes met and then I turned and walked through the flames and up the hill into the mountains.

The walk was short and painless, no monsters approached me and I knew the route by memory now. I passed through the cave with the Mako fountain but did not stop to look upon its beauty. Finally I crested the final hill between me and the reactor that held Jenova. The tower rose in front of me, ominous and bleak. It really did look like a prison, didn't it?

"Mother…I'm here now."

"Sephiroth!"

From behind me, a man came rushing up the hill, breathless and sweating. His eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and rage. When he had caught his breathe, he stared menacingly at me and pointed a finger toward my chest.

"How dare you destroy our home!" His voice was shaky but full of conviction. Tears fell from his eyes and he shook his head angrily, trying to clear it of doubts. "We thought you were a hero! We respected you! Sephiroth…I won't…I won't ever for-!"

His words were cut short as I pulled Masamune away from his chest, now covered in blood. He faltered and then fell backwards, blood spraying from his wounded chest and splashing onto the ground. He spasmed briefly in pain and began to desperately gasp for air.

Slowly I turned away from the dying man, preparing to sheathe Masamune. Before I could walk away though, I heard something strange.

"…you."

I pivoted on my heel silently and peered down at the man on the ground. He wasn't dead?

"What did you say, sinner?"

"I…I won't for…forgive you."

Won't forgive me? How delightful…the man believes that his opinion matters to me.

"It's not your place to pass judgment. I need not your forgiveness or your good opinion. Only mother's judgment matters in the end." In my hand, Masamune quivered slightly. This sword…how long had we been together now? I glanced once more at the man on the ground, desperately gulping for air.

"It seems you're becoming dull, old friend."

Masamune shivered in surprise once before I let the weapon fall from my hand. It landed point down in the dirt and remained there, quivering angrily at my abandonment. What use is a sword that doesn't kill anymore?

The reactor doors opened with a hissing of steam that seemed to herald my arrival. Quitely I descended down the rickety ladder and walked slowly through the second door that led to the chamber which held the monstrosities. In front of me, the metal stairway rose amidst the red light.

"Is this the stairway to heaven, mother?"

It is the stairway out of hell, my child.

"That is good enough for now."

Each step echoed with a metallic clang that filled the room. Silence was prevalent everywhere until that metal tapping tore through it and bounced off the capsules that surrounded me. When I finally stood atop the final stair, I raised my head to gaze upon the door in front of me. The portal that led to mother stood before me. It felt as though by walking through this door, I would be shedding all the lies that had been pressed against me all this time.

"Mother, I'm here now…will you open the door for me?"

There was a hissing of steam that resonated through the room, but the doorway did not open. Behind me I heard footsteps and suddenly another voice rang through the silent room.

"How could you do this to all of us?" A familiar female voice echoed through the room. She sounded very much like the man I had left to die. "How could you kill papa and all the townspeople? How could you destroy our home?"

"Mother…it seems as though someone wishes to speak to me…I do hope you can wait a moment."

The girl choked down a sob before letting out a scream of rage. I heard her dashing wildly up the stairs. She had something in her hands, the way the wind rushed by her was different. When she was close, I heard the familiar sound of sword metal whistling through the air.

My hand shot out, grabbing Masamune by the hilt and lifting the girl from the ground. She dangled helplessly in front of me, tears streaking down her face. I smiled slightly and wrenched Masamune from her hands.

"STOP IT!" Time stopped and Tifa halted mid-fall. I crashed backwards against the door to Jenova. I was shaking all over, my fingers itched to cut into the helpless girl. "Stop it…" My voice shook with the effort of maintaining my body and mind. "Jenova…Namine…" Bile began to rise in my throat while Masamune shook violently in my limp hand.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

With a burst of strength, I flipped Masamune around my wrist and placed the tip of the blade against the bottom of my chin. Closing my eyes I tightened my grip and thrust upward.

Tifa was caught in the middle of her fall by my left hand which thrust into her abdomen, throwing her back several feet. As she flew backwards I whipped Masamune out, ripping through the flesh of her chest and drawing a bright red line across it. She fell backwards and then hit the stairs, rolling and tumbling like a rag doll down the metal steps.

In my hand, Masamune shuddered indignantly but I silenced it by placing the blade back in its sheathe. I turned away from the half dead girl at the bottom of the stairs and faced the doorway that led to Mother.

"She won't be bothering us now. Will you open the door, mother?"

Of course.

I'm REALLY sorry it took so long! Geez…it's been nearly a month now since I updated. Ok…so I want to apologize to everyone that I went on an unofficial unannounced hiatus. So here' what went down that kept me from writing ok?

So schoolwork exploded in my face and blinded me and kept me from doing anything productive with my time except homework and studying because my chemistry teacher is an awful teacher that doesn't teach. As a result I have a 66 average in his class and my parents freaked out, so I freaked out and started studying like crazy in his class. That didn't help cause I still got a 59 on his next test and I missed a lot of homeworks in my other classes cause I was focusing on chemistry so much. Not to mention I have a new girlfriend who I love very much and want to be around a lot so my weekends haven't been open for writing. Also I have work Tuesday through Thursday until 7, giving me 12 hours a day when I am not home.

Sorry…I had to put it out there. Care if you want or condemn me, it's up to you and I can handle either. As a result though, I put a lot of effort into this chapter and I think that I have some really good dialogue between Jenova and Sephiroth going on…like…I impressed myself with it. Sorry…I shouldn't be bragging after a month break.

So I'm dropping what I said earlier about updating on Fridays. From here on out, it's gonna be really sporadic cause im under a lot of stress from a lot of different angles so I don't have it in me to stick deadlines on this.

I had actually wanted to conclude the entirety of the nibelheim memory in this chapter but that would have been a couple more pages and I wanted to get this out tonight, its already twice as long as usual.

So thank you to everyone for being so patient and as for reviews…I thank Chaos009, Unita, Heartsoblivion, xsaturnine and raging phoenix for reviewing me back on chapter 19. You guys rock, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will spare a review for this stressed out slacker over here. I am not worthy or your greatness!