Bubbles and Bruises

Your speech is slurred enough that you just might swallow your tongue.


It was the first time in months that Regulus had decided to venture out on an evening with the idea of getting a drink and enjoying himself. In fact, it was the first time since he'd broken up with his ex-boyfriend. He went out to clubs and bars a lot with Rabastan, so after the break-up, those were the last places he wanted to frequent. But he'd avoided them for too long now.

Regulus was still young, and he didn't have many friends. He needed to change that. He wanted to get back out there and have fun.

So, the Bubbling Vial it was. It was a relatively small bar that had popped up a few buildings down from the Leaky Cauldron, on the Muggle side. Similarly to the Leaky, Muggles just walked right past as though they couldn't see the club.

It was unusually busy for a Thursday night, but Regulus didn't mind. The tittering sounds of people chattering and the deep thud of the music distracted him from his thoughts. He beckoned for the bartender, who served him up a tall glass of something lewd green and smoking.

Then, something caught his eye. A glimmer of familiar long, auburn hair. Regulus ducked his head and reached out to grab the arm of the person who sat at the bar beside him. The man glared at Regulus accusingly with honey-brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked, slurring his words just slightly. "I'm trying to wallow in self-pity here."

"This will just take a couple of minutes," Regulus said hastily. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. My ex has just come in, and I cannot deal with him right now."

The man stared at him for a few moments. "Can't you at least buy me a drink first?" he smirked. "Or at least tell me your name."

"Regulus."

"Barty." Barty shuffled his stool towards Regulus's, pulling his beer bottle along with him. "I don't usually make a habit of getting involved in other people's drama, but it's been a slow night. Let's get on with it." He threw an arm over Regulus's shoulder and grinned. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you like."

Regulus was about to answer, until the auburn-haired man sidled up to the bar, his dark gaze lingering on Regulus. "How nice to see you, Regulus," he murmured smoothly. "How strange. I've been thinking of you."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same." Regulus didn't look up at his ex, choosing to pointedly move further into the crook of Barty's arm.

"Who's this, love?" Barty crooned, putting a lot of emphasis on the endearment.

"Rabastan Lestrange." Rabastan kept his gaze on Regulus, but offered his hand to Barty, who didn't shake it. "Pleasure to meet you, I'm sure. You must be a friend of Regulus's."

"Boyfriend, actually," Regulus corrected.

"I would go as far as to say the love of his life," continued Barty dramatically. Regulus nudged him sharply in the ribs.

Rabastan's face twisted into a scowl, and he dropped onto the barstool next to Regulus. Regulus noticed that his ex had let his reddish beard grow out, and his hair was garishly long, though both had been combed in an annoyingly neat fashion. "Stop mucking around, Reg. I know you'd never settle for…" he turned his gaze briefly to Barty. "...this...bottom-feeding scum. You always come back to me."

Regulus opened his mouth to reply, but was distracted by Barty jumping off his stool. "What did you just call me?" The forced expression of false affection had been wiped from his features, replaced with splotchy red anger.

Rabastan rolled his eyes expressively. "How dare you rise up to me. What do you want, a fight?"

Regulus raised an eyebrow. The words didn't sound natural coming out of Rabastan's mouth. They were too clear; too enunciated. Regulus knew that Rabastan had probably never had a physical fight in his life. His battles were sneaky, and he never got his hands dirty.

Barty rolled up the sleeves of his jacket. "If you think you've got it in you."

Rabastan stood up and moved towards Barty. For a minute Regulus wondered if his ex boyfriend was really going to try and raise a hand to his fake boyfriend, but he only tried to push past Barty rudely. Barty didn't take too nicely to that, though. He grabbed Rabastan by the shirt collar with one hand, and pulled back the fist of his other arm, swung forward and landed a punch right on Rabastan's nose. Something audibly cracked and blood spurted out of his nostrils.

Rabastan staggered back and clutched his nose with both hands. "I...can't...feel...my face…" he gasped nasally. The bartender jumped over the bar with a tea-towel to staunch the blood, but Regulus didn't wait to see what happened next. He grabbed Barty by the arm and pulled him towards the door.

"Come on, we need to get out of here. "

"You want me to come with you?" Barty asked as he hurried after Regulus, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans.

"Of course I do, you just burst my ex boyfriend's nose into pieces." Regulus grinned as they exited the bar. "It was the most attractive thing I've ever seen."


Written For:

Meet Cute Marathon Day #2: (scenario) Person A asks B to pretend to be their date at a bar to prevent an ex from talking to them.

Assignment #5/Ritual & Ceremonial Magic Task #2: Write about being reunited with an old love.

1,000 Prompts: 331. Regulus Black

Writing Club/Comics: 12. (Pairing) Barty Crouch Jr./Regulus

Writing Club/Showtime: 3. (dialogue) "I've been thinking of you."

Writing Club/Sophie's Shelf: 16. (scenario) Bare knuckle fighting

Writing Club/Elizabeth's Empire: 12. (dialogue) "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

Writing Club/Film Festival: 18. (word) blood

Winter Seasonal/Days of the Year: February 11th - Make a Friend Day: Write about a new friendship.

Winter Seasonal/Winter Prompts: 23. (dialogue) "I...can't...feel...my face."

Hogwarts Fortnightly/Mario Day: 11. (character) Rabastan Lestrange

Crazy Cone Contraptions: 4. Baked Bean Bite - (color) auburn

Word Count: 900