I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
Saw him again today. I still don't understand how he can't be with me because I'm too pretty for him. It just doesn't make sense.
That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.
Looking here in the mirror I've begun to try and figure out a way to change all that now so we can be together. If he only knew how my heart aches to be with him.
Oh the little pieces falling,
I wiped the blood from my hand and picked up a peice of the fallen glass and began to cut my hair. My logic being that if I cut it off it would make me less pretty along with all the cuts from breaking the glass and then it woulld be okay for us to be together.
Shatter.
I called him up and asked him to meet me at the park. It is such a beautiful day out and it would be a shame to waste it.
Shards of me,
He sounded rather hesitant on the phone like he was trying to hide something.
To sharp to put back together.
He agreed to meet me, but I couldn't help but wonder who was giggling in the backround.
To small to matter,
It must not be anyone important, after all he agreed to meet me.
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
I look in the remaining peices of the mirror. Saddened at the loss of my once beautiful hair. But it will all be worth it in the end if I get what I deserve.
If I try to touch her,
I reached up to adjust a peice of the remaining glass and cut my finger open. 'Just one more mark to make me less beautiful.'
And I bleed,
I absent mindedly stick my finger in my mouth until the bleeding stops.
I bleed,
I smile at my reflection and leave for the park to meet the one who means everything to me.
And I breathe,
Silently I sneak out of my darkened, quiet house.
I breathe
Into the dark streets and head for the park to meet my true love.
No more.
Lost in my thoughts I seemed to have made it here in no time. He doesn't seem to be here yet so I sit under a tree and wait for him to see me.
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
I look around at the quiet night. I seem to be the only person here other than a love struck couple on the swing kissing frantically and fondling each other as if it were the last day on earth. With luck bigger things than that would be happening for me tonight.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
I sat watching the happy go lucky couple for a bit before it registered to me who it really was.
Lie to me,
"Elizabeth, You have everything! Why take the one thing I need so desperately?" I cried ripping them apart
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
"She didn't take anything. You did this all to yourself." David yelled jumping between me and my former friend "I liked you before you changed. You need help."
And all of this,
"If you liked me so much then why can't we be together" I screamed in his face.
Will make sense when I get better.
"Because you need help, and I can't be with you until you become yourself again and not so obsessed with being someone else." He replied walking away forever
I know the difference,
I ran home and back to my bathroom not caring how much noise I was making.
Between myself and my reflection.
My soul and I were having an intent staring contest when I broke it off I now know what I need to do.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Grabbing bleach from under the sink I turn my brown locks to ones of golden blonde.
Which of us do you love.
At least in death he will be able to look at me.
So I bleed,
After my transformation was complete I got started on cleaning up the shards of glass.
I bleed,
Slowly placing each one into my skin.
And I breathe,
Gently breathing so I wouldn't let loose the pain inside my heart.
I breathe now...
I turn on the bath water that I didn't really plan on getting clean in.
Bleed,
Sitting there I gently insert the shards in my legs.
I bleed,
Then my stomach and chest.
And I breathe,
Followed by my arms and wrists.
I breathe,
Trying desperately not to scream his name.
I breathe-
I start on my face as my vision darkens.
I breathe
Laying back I let his name fall off my lips,
no more.
and open my eyes to see my mothers face one last time.
