Jane rushed into her apartment and hoped to grab a shower before Maura came. But there was no such luck. She was about to undress when a knock told her that the time of truth was here. Still wearing her work suit she opened the door to find Maura in the threshold.

She too was still dressed in the clothes she had worn that day which made Jane think that the doc hadn't been able to wait. It had been a long day already and Jane offered her coffee. The hard beverages would doubtlessly come later when they had the talk. She stepped aside to let Maura in, and they sat on the couch with their steaming cups. She owed Maura some explanations and finally said "Shoot" so that the doc could ask the questions that bothered her. Jane wore with a weary smile, wanting to put it behind her. Maura smiled softly and eyed her curiously. "Do you still have it?" was the first question. Jane hadn't expected her to be so blunt and felt at loss of words. "Yes." She swallowed and gave Maura a crooked grin.

"So, you were born…?" the question hung in the air.

"Intersex." Jane replied, uncomfortably moving on the couch.

"I thought so." Maura muttered and Jane raised an eyebrow. "There must have been a reason you didn't want to remove your t-shirt." The blonde shrugged. "It was the only logical explanation that made sense." She offered and gazed at Jane. They studied each other for a while until Jane decided that it was time for a glass of wine.

"No one knows at the precinct except for my brother Frankie and ma. Frankie works as an officer there. You might have met him at one of the crime scenes." Jane said and Maura nodded. "Why didn't you get an operation?" the doc asked hoping not to go too far with her curiosity.

"I was seeing a doctor for that matter the day we met." Jane chuckled softly, swirling the wine in her glass and watching the fluid move smoothly before continuing. "My parents didn't have the money and neither did I. Then I met you and…" she paused glancing at Maura who gave her a reassuring smile. "I couldn't decide for a gender. And I was torn. Everybody wanted me to be Jane and when I had to decide I couldn't decide between Jay or Jane. So, I just let it." There was another pause. She didn't want to say all there was to say about this matter. She didn't want to say that she still hoped to find someone who accepted her as who she was. And that she somehow hoped that Maura would be the one. It was ridiculous really she thought, because she had been almost sure that Stacy would accept her, but she hadn't. So, why should Maura?

"I saw a therapist after you left. And she said that it would be nonsense to give up the functioning body parts for something artificial. And well, my penis works as perfect as my breasts. She told me I'd never have this intense feeling during sex like with the real part. So, I let it be." She shrugged, feeling stupid.

Maura reached for her hand and squeezed it. "You know, I liked you the moment I saw you." She whispered. "I felt like you came with a lot of burden, a huge backpack if you want. Yet I loved spending time with you."

"Fucking me." Jane smiled wryly and Maura groaned. "Yes, that too. You were a very attentive lover. Inexperienced but good." Maura chuckled and Jane blushed. "You knew?" she asked, and Maura laughed softly. "Not right away no. you were really good, but it dawned on me when I gave you the… uhm.."

"Blow job?" Jane offered with a grin. "Yeah, that was awkward indeed." She said and laughed a bit. She pulled her hand through her long, dark curls and sighed. "God, I thought I'd die." She said in a chuckle and Maura laughed along. "Don't worry. I saw worst. And you were really sweet about it."

"I felt like a huge looser." Jane admitted sadly and caught a surprised glance from Maura. "You always seemed so confident. Not really relaxed until the day at the creek but otherwise confident. And I didn't expect it any different way because you were obviously new to the matter."

"Looser." Jane insisted. "Virgin at 20." She huffed and took a long gulp.

"You were fine. And it wasn't all about sex. I know that that's what I told you, but it wasn't the truth. I knew that I was going to leave. I didn't want to get into a relationship that would stop my career."

Jane tried to feel angry at her words, but she couldn't. she understood Maura and thought that it had been the most reasonable thing to do for both. "I liked you too." She finally said and their eyes met again.

"I miss Jay." Jane whispered after a pause and Maura nodded, understanding. The doc was the first-person Jane could confide this into, and relief washed over her that she wasn't being judged. "I miss him too." Maura smiled sadly. "He really looked hot with his beard." She said and they laughed. "The beard, ah." Jane said mockingly and Maura lifted her glass in a silent toast. "Yes."

Jane chuckled and raised her glass as well. "You might catch a glimpse of it if you see me early in the morning." She said without knowing where it had come from. Maura nudged her and laughed. "Are you flirting with me?" she asked, and Jane shook her head in mocked offense. "Me? Why?"

"I'm glad that you kept it." Maura whispered as she was about to leave after they had talked for two hours and before Jane could retort the blonde was gone. Jane tilted her head. Now who was flirting she asked herself, shaking her head and somehow grinning like a fool.

R&I

"Good morning Jane." Korsak greeted her as she walked into the bullpen the next morning. "Maura was just about to explain the cause of death." He stated and Jjanes eyes fell on Maura who looked as if she had slept the whole night and not as if she had spent half of the night on her couch drinking.

Their eyes met and Jane saw the hint of a smile in them. "Oh yeah?" she yawned and giggled at the offended glance she received. "Sorry, had a short night." She excused herself and walked closer to join the talk.

"Was it at least good?" Korsak joked and Jane nodded seriously. "Surprisingly good. I really enjoyed the company." The smile returned to Maura's face, and she smiled back when Korsak wasn't looking.

"I actually might ask her out one day." She said, thinking of how quick her resolution to stay single had faded after their talk and Maura's understanding for her situation.

"Well, that's great. Never heard that of you before. Shall I go and pick a medical thermometer?" he teased, and Jane shook her head. "No, I'm fine. but we should get this case solved." She said bringing them back to the reason why they were all there.

She read cause of death: gun shut to the head and laughed. Oh, she would tease Maura later with it. She was sure of it. They talked about the case and each left to do their part of solving the case.

It was only later that night, when Jane was ready to go to bed, that she found Maura standing in front of her door. Jane was aware that she was only wearing sweatpants and that one could see the outline of her dick. Maura didn't even hide her glance to the groin and for the first time in a long time Jane didn't feel the need to hide anything and the comfort and freedom made her smile.

They comfortably sat down to the sofa and Jane wondered what Maura's new apartment looked like. Or was she living in a house? There was so much Jane didn't know.

"So, you want to ask me out on a date?" Maura asked bluntly and Jane chuckled softly. "Yes! Actually I do. What do you think?" Jane said cocking her head. Maura smiled softly.

She moved her hand towards Janes and made their fingers entwine. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"I dreamt of you Jane. The other night when we were called to the murder. We were…" Maura took a breath. "We were?" jane asked softly, and Maura smiled. "We were in bed. We never did it in bed though. But it was nice."

Jane kept her own dream to herself and closed her eyes. No, they had never had sex in bed. she smiled. "Nice huh?" she teased sweetly and squeezed Maura's fingers. "Yes." The blonde said using her free hand to pull through Jane's mane and their eyes locked again.

Jane was still smiling, resting her head against the palms of her arms which were propped against the backrest of the couch. "I'm tired Jay." Maura whispered and Jane glanced at her. "I'm tired and I miss you."

"I'm here." Jane whispered as she cupped Maura's face. She watched helpless eyes and a question. "Do you want to stay?" she asked softly. The blonde nodded. "I don't want us to have sex. Just…"

"Sleep?" Jane offered and saw the wrinkles around tired eyes for the first time as Maura let her guard down. "The last years have been straining. I know that we haven't known each other long, but I could never get you out of my mind. And as cheesy as it sounds but you always felt like home." Maura whispered as they glanced at their entwined fingers.

Jane smiled. "Well, I have to admit that you crossed my mind now and then." She stated and Maura looked at her. Their faces were close, their words whispered into the suddenly intimate atmosphere. Jane wanted to kiss her, and her eyes dropped to Maura's lips. The blonde hitched a breath in anticipation, but Jane glanced up again to find warm hazel eyes.

"Come on." Jane whispered as she stood and offered a hand to Maura. "Just sleep." She winked and led the blonde to her bedroom. She showed Maura the bathroom and quickly changed the sheets, before going to get a shower herself. She thought that Maura looked adorable in the shorts and t-shirt she had borrowed her for the night.

The kid was in France with his grandparents as she had learned and so it was fine for Maura to stay. She must feel lonely Jane thought. The kid must keep her up her feet, but when he's gone…

But she knew that it wasn't only the loneliness that had brought Maura to her door tonight. She had seen it in the hazel eyes. The desire she still knew from back then.

She silently slid into the sheets, and laid onto her back, crossing her arms behind her head on the pillow. She couldn't remember when she had shared her bed for the last time and if she even had ever shared her bed. she listened into the darkness to hear even breaths from the other side of her king size bed as she thought about her last ten years.

Maura had raised a kid and made herself a name as a profound ME. She had earned the position of the Chief ME of commonwealth and Jane admired her for it. She closed her eyes when she felt movement beside her and awkwardly held out her arm when Maura pulled into it.

"Okay?" she asked gently, and Maura nodded against her chest. "Yes. You?" Jane took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah."

Sleep overcame them quickly and when the alarm went off the next morning Jane groaned. She rubbed her eyes and then smiled when seeing Maura still nestled close. "Good morning." She whispered and heard a muffled sound.

Maura had the day off. She had done what was needed to solve the case from her part. So, Jane peeled herself out of the other woman's body and dressed up.

She made some coffee to go and quickly scribbled a note with the invitation for Maura to stay at her apartment if she wanted to. Then she rushed off to work.