Disclaimer is Part One
It took Meredith forty-five long minutes to get home—long enough to have to freak out internally and calm herself down six times. It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. At least, not until we can get more tests. It's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing.
She parked in the garage and shuffled slowly inside. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her neck.
Standing again, she looked ahead of her—and gasped.
Baby boots. Purple baby boots were sitting on the first step of the stairs. Two steps up, another, identical pair sat. She leaned over and picked up the first pair, resting them in her palms. They were delicate. Light. Adorable.
Meredith carefully stepped around the second pair, and noticed that there was a pair about every other step. She followed them eagerly—up the stairs, down the hall, until she reached the door to the room they had designated as a nursery. Biting her lip and sucking her tongue in, she lightly turned the door handle.
Opening the door literally took her breath away. The room, once occupied by Izzie but empty for the past six or so years, had been completely transformed. The mocha-colored walls had been repainted a creamy bluish white. There was a definite princess-in-a-castle motif—a purple crown-shaped rug, a princess hat perched on a white crib, a castle-shaped bookshelf. Sparkly pink, blue, and purple dominated the room.
The crib was gorgeous, antique and white with sleigh-style rolls on the side. It was overly large and padded with blankets, and white netting dropped from the ceiling draped softly over it. There was a matching rocker and a matching changing table, and a toy chest waiting to be filled. A dresser with six drawers stacked upon one another was nestled in a corner, with an elaborate crocheted doily perched on top. Princess trinkets topped that. Tiny stars dotted the ceiling, which was painted a slightly darker shade of blue. A gorgeous mobile hung within the netting in the crib.
Derek sat quietly in the rocker, smirking and trying valiantly not to look at her. He was pretending to read a children's book—Froggy something-or-other.
"You decorated the nursery," it was statement, stated in wonder. She craned her neck to look around. "It's gorgeous."
"Thought you might like. She is going to be our little princess, after all." Derek shut the book and came to stand behind her.
"When did you…when did you do this? Is this what Avery was talking about? How the hell could I not notice?" She smiled.
"Well, I'm very clever. And we have great friends." He smiled.
Suddenly, she heard muffled giggles from the closet. "Are they in the closet?" she said incredulously. At his face, she crossed quickly to the closet. Sliding the door open, she came face-to-face with Cristina, Burke, Izzie, Alex, and George. They all burst out laughing. "How did you do this?" she cried. "I had to have noticed something."
"Well, you didn't." Cristina, who was held tightly by Burke, untangled herself and stepped out. "Izzie came up with the theme, and then Derek, Izzie, Avery—hey, I had to bring her, it was my day off and I wanted to spend it with my kid—" Cristina exclaimed, watching the realization dawn on Meredith's face. "And then the furniture was all delivered to our house, and Alex, George, Preston, and Derek set it all up."
"When?" Meredith exclaimed—"How? Seriously, how?"
Izzie stopped giggling long enough to say, "Well, Derek called Cristina and me about two months ago—right after you found out. Painters came for a day and got the whole thing done when you were on-call overnight. We purchased all the furniture two weekends ago—"
"The day that you scheduled me for that presentation to those visiting doctors." Meredith began to put the pieces together. "And the day that you two took me to the spa—that was the day after the painters!" Her friends grinned wickedly. "Oh, my god! How did I not notice the fumes?"
"It's cause I'm good." Derek smirked.
Meredith began to tear up. "It's so…great. Lovely, really. Thank you. So much." She said, "God. I don't do verklempt."
"Get used to the hormones." Cristina said. "They suck."
Meredith laughed, and closed her eyes briefly. "I'm over it. I swear." She smiled and looked around. "Thank you so much, again, everyone. It's….absolutely great." She looked at everyone. "Hey—you're all here! Do you want to order a pizza or something?"
Cristina and Burke looked at each other. "Avery got her first piece of homework today." Burke said. "Kariin called us at work about that. It's math that she didn't finish in class because she was talking."
"Plus—kids, dinner—it doesn't happen, usually." Cristina said. "We just wanted to see the surprise."
"I gotta go—Kayla picked up Michael, but she's on-call tonight so I need to get home." George kissed Meredith's cheek. "I'm glad you liked the surprise."
Meredith quickly kissed Burke's cheek and hugged Cristina, and then to her final two guests. "Are you two up for pizza?"
Izzie and Alex looked at each other. "Totally." Alex said.
"Great." Meredith smiled at Derek. "Can you go order the pizza? I wanna look a little more…."
He kissed her cheek. "No problem." He grinned.
"I'll go whip up some side dishes." Izzie announced. "Alex," she beckoned for him to follow her.
"Oh, right." He said, quickly leaving and shutting the door behind him.
Meredith sat down in the rocking chair and smiled, content. Then, suddenly, her countenance clouded. What if there's something wrong with the baby?
Twenty minutes later, she walked downstairs, finding Alex in the living room and Derek and Izzie arguing about something in the kitchen. Flopping down next to Alex, she said, "Did they order a pizza?"
"Yeah. Now they're arguing about appetizers. Appetizers. For pizza." Alex sipped his beer.
"Whatever." Meredith leaned back. "So what's up with you, Alex?"
"What do you mean?" he said.
"I mean," Meredith said, feeling ornery, "what's up with you and Iz? That's the burning question here. Are you or aren't you?"
"Doing what?"
"Together."
"Meredith, we share a house. We share a bed in the house. You used to be so streetwise."
"I'm still streetwise. I can connect dots. But, when? You left, you were friends. You came back, you're not. What changed? When? How? Why?"
"Calm down, Katie Couric. It just…did. I guess…two years ago?" Alex said.
"Two years."
"Yes."
"Has the M word come up?"
"Money?"
"Marriage."
"Oh." Alex shifted. "I knew we should have taken the Boston deal. Hanging out with all you McMarrieds is sickening."
"Boston deal? What Boston deal?" Meredith's interest was piqued.
"We were both offered jobs in Boston after our fellowships were complete." Alex said. "Izzie wanted to be close to 'home,' though, so we took these deals. Except I was a little concerned—all the married couples."
"What? It's not like you're not together. You're just not married. You're not like Brian on that old TV show, where all his friends married off and he's sitting there screwing up the seating in the mini-van."
"No, but you're married and doing things like nursery decorating and babysitting each other's kids and doing christenings and Monday night homework. Crap like that. Family, McMarried crap." Though he had a hint of scorn in his voice, there was definite pain in his eyes.
"You honestly never thought about marriage? And kids? The whole shebang?" Meredith questioned.
"I've asked. She's not interested at this time." Alex said heavily, his eyes darting towards the kitchen.
"She said that? When did you ask? How long have you been dating, this time around, anyways?"
"We made it five weeks being roomies. Since then, couple." Alex confessed. "I asked last Christmas. And then again right before we moved here."
"Did you have a ring?"
"No. It was more like a…proposition."
"You know, 'proposal' sounds a helluva lot more romantic."
"I wasn't going to buy a ring for her to say 'no' to." Alex explained.
"Wow, what a hopeless romantic," Meredith said sardonically. "Did she ever say why she wasn't ready yet? Or did you ask?"
"She said she wasn't ready for marriage. The whole lifetime-commitment thing. And she's pretty sure she doesn't want kids—she just wants to be Aunt Izzie. There's the whole daddy-issue she's got and" he stopped. "And everything that's left over from her childhood."
"You both have parental issues," Meredith pointed out, not unkindly.
"Yes, thank you Mere, for pointing out what I know already." He shrugged. "She's just not as…ready, I guess…to take the marriage step." He leaned back.
"You gonna ask again?"
"Maybe. The timing's gotta be there. I'm not going to just keep asking and hoping that she caves in."
"Obviously." Meredith acknowledged.
She was still sitting, thinking, when Izzie came in with a plateful of stuffed mushrooms. "Where the hell did you get those?"
"Your kitchen. Of course, they're just thrown together, but I figured it would be nice until the pizzas got here. We ordered one flame-roasted vegetable and sausage pizza, and a chicken alfredo pizza with broccoli, mushrooms, and tomatoes." Izzie babbled on about the garlic bread order, and Meredith stared wonderingly at this nurturing, mothering baby doctor, who didn't want to get married and who apparently didn't want children. She really couldn't believe that last part; Izzie always volunteered to babysit and jumped at the chance to play with children. "The pizzas are going to be delivered here. Alex, do you want a glass of wine with your dinner?"
"Nah, beer's fine." Alex smiled.
"I'll have water," Meredith smiled. "In fact, I'll go get it now." She grabbed a stuffed mushroom on her way out.
Derek was in the kitchen, clanking plates together as he set the table. Seeing him, alone, for the first time that night, she felt a ridiculous sense of failure tinged with apprehension. What if something was wrong, what if it were her fault? On an intellectual level, that of a seasoned surgeon, she knew that there was probably nothing that she could have changed. And, she also knew that it might not be anything, that it might go away, that she'd be fine. "Hey," he smiled.
"Hey," she grinned back saucily, pushing the baby to the back of her mind. "The nursery, again, was amazing."
"See, you knew that deep, deep down you liked surprises." He smiled.
"Only fun, sweet surprises. Birthday parties still don't count." She pulled a glass out of the cabinet and clicked it under the fridge.
The doorbell rang then, and Derek left to pay the pizza man. Izzie came into the kitchen and pulled a large salad out of the fridge. "Where did that come from?" Mere asked.
"Oh, I made it when I was done with the mushrooms." She smiled, leading it to the table.
The guys had already set the table, and Alex was slicing the garlic bread the restaurant had sent over. "Ready?" Derek came into the dining room, sliding the two pizzas onto the table.
The four of them sat down, balancing the sides of the table. They laughed and talked, and Meredith's mind was mostly there. Izzie and Alex finally left about nine o'clock, with kisses on the cheek and hugs and exclamations about the nursery. As Meredith watched them leave, she saw Izzie reach out and take Alex's hand. Shaking her head, she stepped a little closer to see them laughing as they walked down the road to their car.
Derek wrapped his arm around her waist, tickling her burgeoning belly. "Are you okay?" he whispered into her hair as he kissed her neck. "You've been pretty distant all night." His voice was careful, guarded.
She turned so they were embracing. "Yes. No. A little." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "At my doctor's appointment today…they saw something. A mass. They want us to have another appointment to get it checked out."
