„Hey buddy." Jane said as Harry walked up to her. She had been able to leave the precinct early and decided to pick him up from school. It had taken her a very long time to fall asleep after their conversation on the deck the previous night. Maura's story had hit her hard. Of course, she had never been in the position to have a relationship with someone who had a kid. But she was sure, that she would have taken care of it no matter if she was the father or not. She had a hard time understanding Colins behavior. But what did she know? Her job and life had taught her that people were and did strange things.
She smiled at the boy and Harry looked very pleased at her sight. And the fact that he got picked up in a real police cruiser was even more exciting to him. As they were driving, he kept asking about various buttons on the console of the car and if she had a light and a horn. Jane took her time to answer all his questions. She turned into the parking lot of the café where she and Maura had met for the first time. The stop hadn't been planned but she hadn't been aware that they would pass the place. And now that they did, she decided to pull over out of curiosity if it was still the same.
Harry gave her a questioning look as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "Do you want some ice cream?" she asked, and a grin split his face. "Yes!" he shouted, and Jane laughed. He hopped out of the car, and she followed him to the entrance. The place was still the same and Jane smiled at old memories.
If she was honest, she had been a bit nervous about being alone with Harry. Not the first day they met, no. but the more they bonded the more she had been scared to spend time with him without Maura. What if she said or did something wrong? But as they were standing at the counter to order it seemed to be easy. "Can I have some melon ice?" the boy asked and tugged at her jacket.
"Of course. You can have whatever you want." Jane chuckled. She could only hope that it was okay with Maura. The doc had been busy all day and Jane hadn't found an opportunity to fill Maura in on her plans to pick up Harry.
She ordered herself some coffee and they sat down to one of the tables on the terrace. Harry filled her in on his day at school and Jane had to laugh at some of his stories. She was utterly surprised when he suddenly changed the topic by asking: "You have no dad too right?" Jane took a long sip of her coffee. She wanted to say that everybody had a father, but remained cautious to what she said because she didn't know where this conversation was aiming at.
"No. My parents divorced when I was 19." She finally said. His eyes turned somehow sad. "Did you ever see him afterwards?" the boy enquired further. Jane didn't have to think as she replied calmly: "No." Harry went silent and seemed to be focused on his ice cream for a while.
"I never met my dad. My real dad I mean." He still wore the sad expression on his face. Jane chewed on her lips not knowing what to say. This conversation had to occur sooner or later, she was sure. It had been one of the reasons why she had dreaded being alone with him because she didn't know what to tell him. Maura would surely be able to help her out, but Maura wasn't here.
Jane could hardly say "Hello, I'm here." Could she? It would confuse the hell out of the boy. Whenever they had talked about telling Harry the truth they had come to no conclusion. And now Jane was challenged. She could either tell the boy the truth and risk losing him or she could lie and probably loose him later when he found out that she had lied to him.
Besides, how would she explain Harry about her extra member. What did a 9-year-old know about all of this anyways? She had no clue.
"Would you like to meet him?" Jane ended up asking. Harry cocked his head to the side like she did when thinking hard about something. "Sometimes yes." He said. "I wonder what hes like." He shrugged. "But mum always says that its just the way it is. Some children have fathers and others don't. And I'm fine."
Jane nodded and Harry changed topic again as they left to drive to her apartment. He helped her carry some suits and other items to the cruiser. Despite having talked about moving in together they had never really taken a step and Jane had decided that it was about time. She had been practically living at Mauras since she had met Harry for the first time.
At first Harry had been rather silent as he inspected her apartment. He really was a well-behaved kid Jane thought. His eyes widened as she shuffled some clothes into a duffle bag. She ruffled through his hair as she walked by to fetch some stuff from the bathroom.
"Its okay if I move in with you right?" she asked and smiled when she saw how confusion got replaced by excitement. "Move in like live with us?" he asked as if to make sure. "Yeah." Jane chuckled. "Like being there every day?" he asked again as if she hadn't for the past weeks.
"Yes. Would that be okay with you?" she asked again, and he grinned. "Yes, of course!" he exclaimed.
R&I
Maura was already at home when they walked into the house. The smell of Mac with cheese already filled the air and made Janes mouth water. "Hey mum!" Harry shouted into the kitchen as he passed to walk to his room. Maura gave Jane a questioning look.
The brunette walked towards her and placed a kiss to her mouth. "Smells heavenly." She mumbled and Maura smiled. "Angela was deceived that you had stolen Harry from her this afternoon." Maura informed her while stirring the food. Jane had ended up texting Maura that she had picked up the boy from school and that they were doing stuff.
"I bet she was. But we had things to do." Jane said with a grin. Maura raised an eyebrow. "Men stuff?" she joked, and Jane chuckled. "I took him for a ride in my fancy police cruiser and then we had ice cream and fetched some stuff from my apartment. I asked if it was okay to him if I moved in and he said that it was. He actually seems to love the idea."
Maura stopped stirring to pull Jane into a hug. "You are really sweet you know." She said and kissed Jane. "If I don't get fed soon, I wont be sweet any longer." Jane joked and Maura laughed. "So, its okay right?" Jane asked and Maura smiled. "Of course. We've talked about it. I didn't push though because I had the feeling that you weren't ready."
"Now that is very sweet of you." Jane said and kissed Maura. "I'm going to clean up some space for you after dinner." Maura said with a wink.
R&I
When Jane walked into the master bedroom after saying good night to Harry (Maura had already tugged him in earlier), she found the bed covered in cloths. How on earth could one person own so many skirts and blouses she wondered and glanced up when Maura stepped out of the built in wardrobe with more blouses.
"Hey!" she said, and Maura looked to her.
"Hi Jay." Maura mumbled irritated. Jane grinned as she pointed to the bed. "You know that I don't need soooo much space for my stuff. I own a few suits and just need some drawers for my socks and underwear. And then maybe some space for my jeans, shorts and t-shirts."
"I know, but as I started looking through my wardrobe I realized that I had far too many clothes I don't need anymore."
Jane raised an eyebrow. Now was probably not a good time to tell Maura about Harrys questions about her father and the entailing talk. "Is something wrong?" the doc was focusing on Jane who nervously fidgeted with her hands, as she stood in the middle of the room thinking about when to tell the doc. She hadn't even noticed her doing and locked eyes with Maura.
"Nothing, really. Its just that Harry said something today and I don't know how to deal with it." Jane shrugged, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans to stop fidgeting.
Maura pursed her lips and walked to close the door of the bedroom. Then she sat down to the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to her. Jane followed and sat down.
"What did he say?" Maura whispered. She was showing no shock but curiosity. Jane took a deep breath and shot a brief look towards the ceiling before she spoke up. "No big deal really. But he asked about my dad and if I have ever met him and stuff like that. Then he said that he had never met his. And God Maur, he looked kind of sad. I wanted to tell him then, but I just didn't know what to say and if it was a good idea."
She felt Maura's warm hand slide into hers as their eyes locked. "We always knew that we would have to talk to him one day. It seems that one day comes sooner than we think."
"I don't want to lie to him." Jane said. "I don't want him to wake up one day and realize that he has been living with his father for ages without knowing. But I don't know how we could possibly tell him. He has seen me with my beard. He has seen my body when we were swimming. Yet he still perceives me as a woman I think."
Maura squeezed her fingers lightly. "If I have learned something over the years, then it's the fact that how you tell something is how the child perceives it. For example: if the child falls and you react with fear, it will immediately pick up your fear and the fall will feel worse to the child than it is in reality."
Jane gave her a puzzled look as she processed. "So, you mean it wont be a big deal for him if we don't act as if it's a big deal?" her eyes were doubtful.
"That's exactly what I mean. And we don't have to go into gory details about sexuality. He is far too young to understand how a child is made. He knows there are fathers and mothers. We will cautiously add one more gender to his horizon without making a big deal of it, because it isn't. Nature created you and just because there aren't many intersex people doesn't mean that its not normal. Its not that you had the choice to be born this way. And believe me. You are perfect as you are." Maura stated with a soft smile. Her hand had slipped out of Janes to rub her thigh.
"God, I wish that I had had someone like you talk to me about the whole thing like that when I was young." Jane stated while rubbing her forehead. Maura smiled softly before she reached for Jane's cheek to place a kiss there.
"Its going to be fine. Trust me." She said and Jane knew that she was right. She took another deep breath and then relieved a deep sigh.
