I woke up the next morning with a pit in my stomach. As much as I tried to deny it to myself, it was becoming increasingly clear to me that the more I thought about what Steve was going through, the more it reminded me of my own parents. This was not going to be an easy day… for either of us.

I went to the DX that morning. I figured I'd leave early and just tell my boss that I had a wake to go to. He didn't necessarily need to know whose it was. Pony was sleeping when I left because according to him, going to school to leave early just didn't make much sense. I couldn't argue with that even though Darry tried to. Darry'd also left early. He was doing the same thing I was.

It was clear that my boss wasn't happy to lose me on a day when Steve obviously hadn't come in either, but both of our reasons were pretty legitimate, so he scowled at 1:30 when I called a goodbye but said nothing, and I raced home. I still had to shower and change, so I could go to the wake and not look and smell like I'd just spent four hours surrounded by cars and oil.

Once I'd showered and gotten into the only suit I owned, I stood staring at myself in the fogged bathroom mirror. I couldn't see anything clearly, but that seemed just as much my fault as the steam. I wasn't seeing anything clearly these days. I felt like I was reliving one of the worst weeks of my life, but I knew I'd need to be careful not to let that show. I just had to be there for Steve… if only because I couldn't imagine that he'd let anyone else get close to him. I hoped I was wrong.

When I walked into the living room, Pony was sitting on the couch in his only suit, staring blankly at a commercial on television. I knew he wasn't seeing it, though. I sat down next to him and let out a huge sigh. Neither of us spoke until Darry walked in, adjusting his tie. The three of us looked at each other for a minute, and then Darry said in a low voice, "ready, you two?"

Without answering, we stood up and walked outside together. At least the sun was shining. It always seems to rain on days like these. None of us managed to speak on our way to a funeral home we knew only too well. I felt a chill go down my spine when Darry swung into the parking lot and settled into a parking spot that had come to feel like our own not very long ago.

We made our way inside slowly. None of us needed to say a word for the other two to know just how hard this was. We all felt the same way.

Walking into the back of the room, we saw Steve and his mom sitting in the first row. There were already some people there before us, and they were standing in front of them, blocking their view of the coffin. I was slightly relieved to see that it was closed, but that also brought a very unwelcome realization. Our parents' caskets had also been closed because the funeral home people couldn't erase the damage from the car accident enough to make them presentable. I could only imagine how bad Steve's dad must have looked.

The three of us exchanged another look and then forced ourselves to the front of the room. We joined the end of the line to pay our respects, and we knelt in front of the coffin briefly before returning to talk to Steve and Mrs. Randle.

Steve looked at us with something approaching relief, and I went to him first. I caught him in a brief hug… it was pretty clear that he wanted to keep it together, and he was afraid of what would happen if I hugged him for too long. I don't think he anticipated the effect that Darry could have, though.

This was something Pony and I had learned firsthand, but somehow I thought he could release emotions in us simply because he was our big brother. I don't know why I didn't realize just how much the other guys saw him as their big brother too.

Pony was already giving his condolences to Mrs. Randle, and I had turned to wait for them to sit when I realized what had happened. Darry had hugged Steve the way he normally would… and Steve just couldn't take it any more than Pony and I had been able to just months before. He was clinging to my brother, and his face was twisted in an effort at self control… but he was failing miserably. I walked back over to them, and Darry nodded at me for help, so we eased Steve out of the room.

We took him downstairs to the only place we knew that was remotely private in this horribly public place, and then we sat him down on the bench with the two of us on either side. Pony had stayed upstairs because Two-Bit had come in then … and he probably also knew Steve would be more comfortable with just me and Darry.

Comfortable might not be the right word, but whatever it was, he finally let himself really go for the first time since his mom had shown up at our house early the previous morning. Had it only been a day ago? My head whirled, but I kept my hand on Steve's shoulder, squeezing hard, giving him whatever I could of my own strength. All I had to reassure him was the knowledge that if I could be sitting here right now in one piece, he'd be there someday too. He was hunched over, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking. He was quiet, though. That was the only measure of control he still had, and it hurt to hear his choked sobs, but I knew that the last thing he'd ever want to do would be to draw any more attention to himself.

I glanced at Darry over Steve's head, and he looked at me soberly. I could read it all in his eyes, and it made my heart sink. He was recognizing Steve's breakdown for exactly what it was… only the beginning.