A/N: Kaylee is oh so wonderful. She is the most brilliant person i know. Her pen name is STRANGELY SIRIUS. Check her stuff out. Thank you for coming, please review.


Once upon a time there was a girl. Her name was Hannah and she was a girl. One day she woke up. "I'm going to actually do something with my life today!" she said. So she got out of bed and went outside to have an adventure. While she was outside she met a man in a green bathrobe.

"Oh!" he said, "You're wearing pajamas too!"

Hannah gave him a funny look.

"Are you by any chance Arthur Dent?"

He laughed.

"No," he said, "I am just pretending to be Arthur Dent because it propagates interesting conversation."

Hannah thought this was a stupid answer, but she just laughed.

"Besides," the man continued, "I have to look a little like a wizard so I can take my children to the HBP release party."

Hannah gasped.

"That's today!" she screamed

"No," he answered, "I just wanted to see what your reaction would be"

And with that a large couch appeared in front of him and ran away down the road, carefully avoiding manholes. The man that wasn't Arthur Dent chased after it and was soon joined by Mos Def. At the bottom of the hill they jumped on the couch and disappeared of the face of this earth completely. Unfortunately, instead of ending up at an English cricket match, they landed in Now-What. But anyways.

Hannah watched them disappear in slight astonishment. She wondered if they would make sandwiches where they were going, but decided that it was more pertinent that she traveled to Valley Lane to give Kaylee her book back, SINCE SHE STILL HADN'T DONE THAT! Hannah vaguely wondered if there was some subliminal messaging going on and decided there was and also decided she would act upon it next time she saw Kaylee, because that would be the nice, friend-like thing to do. After making this decision, Hannah continued off down the road looking for more adventure, but while she was looking for adventure, she wasn't looking at the road and she fell down a manhole.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! I have fallen down a man hole!" she yelled.

Hannah was really scared, but she decided to make the best of it and wandered on down the slimy tunnel. Eventually she ended up in a very large chamber-like room with snakes lining it and a monkey-ish man at the end, and lights and cameras everywhere.

"HEY!" someone screamed, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RANDOM GIRL DOING IN OUR SHOT!"

Hannah thought the prudent thing to do would be to sneak away quietly before they could tear her limb from limb. She also decided that she had never been prudent. It sounded too much like prud.

"YOU MORONS!" she screamed, "YOU HAVE COMPLETELY MASACRED THESE MOVIES! I MEAN...LUPIN WAS NOT IN LOVE WITH LILY! HARRY IS NOT IN LOVE WITH HERMIONE! THE MARAUDERS MAP SHOULD BE EXPLAINED! THAT STUPID WHOMPING WILLOW IS STUPID! HERMIONE IS NOT A SEXY TEENAGE GIRL! AND SHE SURE AS HELL ISN'T LYCANTHROPIC! HARRY POTTER IS NOT HORRIBLE AT ACTING! RON WEASLEY DOES NOT HAVE HOCKEY HAIR! WILL YOU PLEASE GET A CLUE! AND ROBBIE COLTRANE SHOULD STOP BEING STUPID AND UNGRATEFUL! AND… Well, my throat is getting sore so I'll stop now."

Everyone looked at Hannah in wonderment for a moment. Then all of a sudden she burst out...

"AND VIGGO MORTENSEN SHOULD BE SIRIUS, BECAUSE HE HAS THAT AWESOME RUGGED MAN THING GOING ON AND IS ACTUALLY HALFWAY SEXY!"

They continued staring in wonderment. After a while a random teenage Harry Potter geek spoke up.

"Er... you've got the wrong movie. This still has Chris Columbus. Here, borrow this time turner to go yell at Alfonso."

Hannah took the time turner and disappeared...

To be continued…