"And so what we do is. WE ANALYZE. WE INVESTIGATE. WE THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. WE, DETECT!" 'Bob' was running to a different point in the club room each time he yelled. From a whiteboard that was on the left, to the big window in the far end of the room, then to the side desks that had stacks of papers on them. Before finally jumping on the main table and spreading his arms. I, was just sitting on a chair, next to the main table…
"Uhh, yea…" I nod as I keep sitting.
"You keep saying, we. But uhh, all I see is you…" I add.
"Oh we do have members, don't worry. They are outside, DETECTING!" He responds as he closes up to me with his magnifying glass, causing me to lean back on my seat…
( Yu-kno personal space bro?)
"Sure. So, what do we, detect?"
"DETECT!" Bob shouts right after.
"Put some spirit into it! Come on!" He adds right after as he closes his face even more to me.
"I, think I'm going to be the silent investigator. You know, discrete, not attracting attention while our targets are distracted." I respond as I raise my finger.
"Ohh! Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes! You get it now! You'll be a pro detective in no time! Dare I say! You may even be star material!" Bob excitedly nods as he claps his hands.
(Damn that guy is hyper. But, I would not say no to a one star apartment…)
"As for what we do. We keep an eye out for ne'er do wells and out of ordinary phenomena. And you should know! Our club is highly esteemed! I even got praised by lady Satsuki herself once!" Bob proudly sticks his chest out.
"This outfit is proof of it!" He then twists the collar of his coat to show two stars attached to it.
"Oh and Gamagori Ira is to whom we answer! Our group falls under his jurisdiction as we can be considered as enforcement club!" He adds as he stands to attention, then salutes, the air?
"So here's your first assignment noobie!" And grabs a large stack of papers from the nearby desk…
(Oh please no…)
And then lets the stack fall to my legs.
"These are all reports from my club members! I want you to set them on 'important' to 'less important' and 'What the hell is this crap Jenkins.' sections!" Bob slaps three different sections of the table as he speaks.
"Have fun!" He then vaults over me, exits the club and…
-Lock-
"...I just heard the sound of a door locking…" I whisper as I glance behind me, at the now-closed door…
I then turn to look at the paper stack.
"Oh you gotta be shitting me…" I whisper…
"One start apartment Naier. One star apartment…" With a groan, I get up, and leave the stack of papers to the desk.
"What the crap is this shit Jekins. What did he even mea…"
As I ask that, I glance at the first paper.
'-Subject.
A spy ninja cat.
-Info
A cat sneaked into the premises of the school without permission. Upon closing in the cat fled by climbing up the school's wall using ninjutsu.
-Verdict
Cat's still at large.
-Signed
Jenkins.'
(...This is going to be a long day….)
With a long sigh, I take a seat by the desk, and start looking at the reports…
-10 minutes later-
'-Subject.
No star skipping class
-Info
A no star was caught skipping class on the 3rd period
-Verdict
Handed over to Gamagori
-Signed
Saro .'
(So you were skipping too? Does that mean I can skip class now?…)
-20 minutes later-
'-Subject.
Ghost window
-Info
Window to the second floor next to class Alpha Nine keeps opening by itself when I do my run around the corridor.
-Verdict
Request help from the paranormal club
-Signed
Jenkins.'
(Ghostbusters…)
-30 minutes later-
'-Subject.
Weird man in the drainage tunnels
-Info
Spotted an individual in the drainage tunnels, further investigation is needed as I lost the subject.
-Verdict
Spy? Hobo?
-Signed
Herako.'
(...Drainage tunnels? Did Aikuro almost get caught? Better inform it about it, Now uhh, let's put this on the important stuff, but, at the very bottom…)
-40 minutes later-
'-Subject.
Miss Satsuki looked at me!
-Info
Miss Satsuki looked at me today!
-Verdict
Miss Satsuki likes me!
-Signed
Jenkins.'
(...What the hell is this crap Jenkins?…)
-50 minutes later-
'-Subject.
I don't care
-Info
I don't care
-Verdict
I don't triple care
-Signed
I don't care.'
(I don't care)
-One hour later-
'-Subject.
Weird hobo by the entrance
-Info
Spotted a poorly dressed male outside. Have yet to see him appear again.
-Verdict
Spy?
-Signed
Herako.
(Wait, the date in this, is weeks ago. Is the guy talking about, me?)
-One hour and ten minutes later-
'-Subject.
Omiko Hakodate has balls!
-Info
Omiko Hakodate's hides like, millions of balls under her skirt!
-Verdict
Request permission to search Omiko Hakodate's skirt for more balls!
-Signed
Jenkins.
(Wording my dear Ballkins.)
-5 hours later-
By the time I was finally done, the stack was finally reduced to three, rather uneven stacks.
(One-sixth is with the important stuff, two sixths with none important. And, the other half left is filled by Jenkins.)
"God damn it Jekins..." I groaned as I got up.
"At least I'm done." I sigh as I head to the door and open it…
...open it…
"...The door is locked…" I whisper as I fail to open the door.
Looking around the room, the only exits are around was the door. And the window on the opposite side…
"Jump from the second-floor window?" I head up to the window, open it and look down…
"...Nope…" I shake my head as I look towards the ground that was, well. Flatly put way too far, felt more like five or four floors up rather than two…
"Uhh now wha...huh?" As I leaned on the window, I heard, music?
Turning my head to the left, I found another open window, about two classrooms away…
"...Am I, stupid enough?" I ask myself, then glance at my hand.
"I'm stupid enough." I answer flatly as I climb out the window.
Thankfully, there was a small catwalk for me to walk on, the problem was that…
"Holy shit I'm getting some intense vertigo with how the walls curve…" I kneel down as I try to grab the wall to my left, which felt, oddly soft…
"Wait, why is the wall so soft..." Turning to glance at my left, I found that my left hand was indeed on the wall, or more like, digging into the wall…
I blink a couple of times as I keep looking at my gauntlet, my fingers digging deep…
(...What the fuck…)
I pull my hand back, effortlessly removing my armored fingers from the wall…
(I just clawed a hole in the wall. Which fun fact is not concrete. Since the building itself is actually a giant robot…)
I shake my head. And while keeping my sight near my feet, I start walking toward the open window ahead of me…
(Look at me ma, I'm being a retard. And I'm not even drunk this time.)
Upon reaching the next window, I glance inside and…
(Oh come on!)
Uzu Sanageyama was with his arms folded, his back to the window, talking with a student in an old western gunslinger's outfit. The life fiber pattern on the guy's hat and frills showed he's a two-star.
I quickly pull myself back behind the wall…
(This is so retarded, need to change plans…)
I begin to turn around to return back, but…
-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP-
A sudden, loud trombone echoed.
(Oh shi!...)
And my feet were now touching air, as I found myself falling towards the ground...
(...Oh fucking hell!…)
I glance behind me as I reach for the wall…
(Too far!)
All I could do now, was stare at the ground that was quickly closing in. The sound of the wind screaming at my ears…
(To die from a friggin trombone! The hell's this crap?!)
I close my eyes as I bring my hands to the front of me and...
-THUD-
Silence. The wind stopped screaming, the world turned black...
(This, is ridiculous. To actually die, twice. And from a friggin trombone player nonetheless. At least, I'm not feeling any pain…)
I take a deep breath as I prepare to per…
(Wait, I can breathe?)
I slowly open one eye to see the ground a good sixty to seventy centimeters away from my face…
Both my hands against the ground, with all fingers still attached to their right position…
The only difference being, my right hand now had a couple of visible, blue glowing veins running through it…
(...)
I kept staring at my right hand as the glowing veins slowly faded out, returning my hand to return to its 'normal' look...
(...Uhh, what just happened?…)
I glance back towards the open window up in the distance…
"I fell, from up there. And, I'm still alive?" I ask as I slowly get up…
(Is everything still in place?)
After I get up I make a couple of jumps in place, before turning to look back up.
(...I feel fine.)
I then give myself a pad down.
(And nothing is missing)
I then quickly look around, to make sure nobody actually saw me…
(...Uhh, I better git, before somebody starts asking how a no star survived a fall that long…)
And, with a deep breath, I start walking towards Isshin's house.
( Something tells me that Ryuko's dad will want to know this. Also the fact that some weirdo could sniff the fibers in my left arm. Also need to warn Aikuro about his little hidy-spot being found.)
