Authors Note: Ok so now (in the story) its about 17 years after Kyo's death. For those of you who need it… Haru is 34 years old and Yuki is 35. Everyone else I'll let you figure out…

On with the story!

Chapter One

"Haru you need to come back, least for the New Year's dinner," Yuki's voice drifted through the phone receiver. "Everyone misses you; they all keep asking if you're going come this year. You know, it is your year to dance…"

"I'm not gonna fucking dance," Haru's stone cold voice cut off Yuki. A sigh came from Yuki's end of the line. "I don't care if everyone misses me. Fuck I don't give a shit about anything anymore…you know that."

"But can you blame me for trying? Momiji is…well…" Yuki's soft voice trailed off. "He needs you back here Haru. You're his best friend."

"I was his best friend. I don't need anybody anymore."

"Fine, be a bastard, you know Kyo would've wanted you to come. He knew how important family is…was…to you." When Haru didn't say anything Yuki continued. "Look I know you still miss him, I do too…"

"No you…"

"Not like you I don't though. I don't understand what you two had, but it was probably what I wish I could have with Tohru. Seeing everyone will help. I promise. I mean how do you think I felt without having that damn cat around challenging me to everything under the sun, but being with everyone…it eased the pain. Just come to the banquet. You don't have to dance."

Haru was quiet for along time as he thought about what Yuki had said. "Can I come and stay at your place?"

"Yeah…can you find it?" There was a hint of laughter in Yuki's voice.

"Not funny…I'll call a cab. I don't get so damned lost anymore."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that. When do you want to come?"

"Tomorrow?" Haru said slowly. "Can I come visit you at work?"

"Sure, you do remember that I work at the old high school."

"Yeah I know," Haru said his voice turning cold again. "I miss the fucking place. I mean Kyo and I had some…" A smirk crossed Haru's face. "moments there. Some real nice moments."

"I don't even want to know," Yuki said his voice sounding tired. "But yeah, just make sure you're at the school at lunch. I'll show you around, its changed a bit. And…"

"And?" Haru prompted when his cousin didn't finish his sentence.

"And, we have a cousin there. You've never met her, she was born a few months after you ran away…after the accident."

"Is she part of the zodiac?" Yuki let the question hang in the dead air between the phone lines.

"You'll just have to meet her," He said slowly. "You'll either love her or hate her. I'm not sure which yet…but she's colorful. We'll leave it at that."

"What do you mean "colorful" I hate color…"

"I know you do Haru."

"I like black and white."

"Of course you do. I'll see you tomorrow. You better show, otherwise I'll kill you."

"Yeah, yeah….later." Haru clicked the phone off and tossed it next to him on the couch. He glared at it for a few minutes before he sighed and fell backwards on the couch. Haru hated his apartment, but it had been his home for the past fifteen years. After Kyo had died Haru had retreated into the mountains. Black Haru had taken over more and would show up at the littlest things. He hated life, everyday he woke up longing for Kyo to be in his arms.

The apartment was a little hole in the wall. It was just one huge room. It had a fold out couch, a kitchenette, a dresser, a coffee table and a TV. The bathroom was at the end of the hall. It was nasty having to share the shower and whatnot with a bunch of strangers on his same floor. But over the years Haru had gotten used to it. Either that or he didn't care enough to have it freak him out anymore.

Haru's apartment was dingy. There wasn't anything nice about it, the only attractive quality were three framed pictures that sat on top of the TV. The frames were a bright, shiny silver and held photos of a grinning Kyo and Haru. Memories began to flood Haru's mind. He shut his eyes tight as he tried to block the memories. It wasn't right. He shouldn't be haunted by Kyo after all these years. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that Kyo was gone? Why couldn't he move on? Kyo would've wanted him to be happy. If the situation was reversed Haru wouldn't want Kyo to pine over him the way that he was pining over Kyo. But he just couldn't help it. He couldn't move on. It felt like if he did he'd betray Kyo.

Haru had told Kyo no matter what he'd love Kyo. Kyo had never been loved, not the way that Haru loved him. Haru loved him despite everything, and he didn't just love him because he was family. Haru was the first and only person to fully accept Kyo. And Haru had been the first person who Kyo allowed himself to love. If Haru moved on and found someone else, wouldn't he be abandoning Kyo?

The floorboards creaked as Haru stood up from the couch. Thinking about Kyo always made his head hurt. Or at least thinking about moving on from Kyo made his head hurt. He needed to get drunk. Real drunk. That was how he could escape the pain. Because when he was drunk Haru saw Kyo. When he was drunk they would kiss and hold each other. When he was drunk Haru felt complete with Kyo.

The neon sign above the bar glowed in the hazy night. A cloud of smoke surged out of the bar as Haru opened the door. The place was jammed packed with drunks and pool playing thugs. It wasn't Haru's bar of choice but it was the closest to home. It was hard to get too lost when the bar was two doors down and across the street.

Haru plopped onto a stool at the bar. Not five minutes after he had sat down did the bar tended saunter over. It was an older woman, the kind in their late forties that had fake tans and tried to look twenty. Her eyelids were coated in bright purple eye shadow and her lips were blood red.

"Hey sugar, what'll it be?" She smacked her gum and Haru shrugged.

"Whatever will knock me out the fastest," He answered, voice flat. The bartender nodded and went to fill a mug. Haru slid her the money before downing the frothy brown drink. And then, he sat there. For three hours he just drank and stared at the same spot on the wall across from him. More than once a girl would come up and try to flirt with him. Haru would just ignore them or tell them to fuck off. Needless to say after about the first two hours no one bothered him.

Soon the room got fuzzy and then the click came. Haru always got this click in his head when he was drunk. It was the click that told him to stop drinking and that he was drunk enough. After the click Haru stumbled to his feet and swaggered home. When he got inside his apartment he collapsed on the couch/bed.

"Haru, what the hell are you doing you stupid cow?" Haru smiled at the voice and slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey Kyo," His voice was slurred, but it didn't matter. He knew Kyo wasn't really there, but for awhile it felt like he was and that's all Haru needed. "I'm drunk."

"I can see that you idiot," Kyo said as he sat down on the couch next to Haru. He softly stroked the black and white hair. "You smell terrible."

"Yeah, I know." Haru took in a deep breath and sighed it back out. "I miss you Kyo. I miss you too much, it's driving me crazy."

"You stupid cow, its ok for you to move on you know. I know you love me but it kills me to see you like this. You bastard, you're not some drunk so stop acting like one." Kyo's voice was soft and caressed Haru's uneasy mind. "I know you've been avoiding everyone since the accident. Go back and see them all. I mean hell, if you need a reason go beat that damn rat for me."

Haru chucked. "Yeah, I'm going to see him tomorrow. I donno if I'm gonna go to the New Year's thing though. I haven't been in so long."

"I never got to go," Kyo said with a shrug. He pulled Haru into his arms. "But would it kill you to go and see everyone? They miss you. Hell, I think even Akito misses you, the fucker. He won't admit it though."

"You know what he did," Haru said. He felt his voice get tight and tears well up in his eyes. "The night we found out about you. He laughed. He fucking laughed. I almost killed him. They had to hold me back. Kyo, without you around I go black more and more…I hate it. God, I hate who I am."

"Stupid cow," Kyo said fondly and he hugged Haru closer to him. "Just go. They'll help. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone who'll keep Black Haru away more than I could."

"You sucked at keeping him away. I mean sure he comes out more now that you're gone but half the time I was around you before we…you know…I'd go black."

"Yeah and it was not my fault you moron! I was always in a fight with that damn rat and then bam! Outta no where you'd want me to fight. You stupid cow…"

It was then that Haru fell into his drunken slumber. A sad smile plastered across his face.

When Haru awoke the next morning he was far from happy. Pain shout through his head as a night of drinking finally caught up with him.

"Shit," He muttered as he rolled over onto his stomach. He buried his face into his pillow, trying to block out the offending sunlight. The phone rang near-by his head and a loud groan escaped his lips. Blindly Haru felt around for the phone, after he answered it he could still hear ringing in his ears.

"Hello…"

"Haru, you're still coming today right?"

"Yuki?"

"No it's the godfather." Silence. "Yes it's Yuki. Are you drunk?"

"Was," Haru corrected his voice fuzzy. "Or still am… I have a hangover."

"You really are stupid sometimes."

"Whatever you damn rat, if I am it's your fault."

"I'm calling Hatori. He'll be over in a little while with his hangover stuff and he'll drive you here. And take a shower."

Yuki hung up with a click and Haru was left lying on his couch half dead from alcohol. He groaned before throwing the phone across the room and dragging himself out of bed. This was not going to be a good day. Why the hell did he agree to go see Yuki? Oh yeah, cause he pulled a 'Kyo would want you too' on him. Damn rat.

Haru stripped his clothes off before wrapping a towel around his waist. He then spent another five minutes looking for his shampoo. Luckily the shower was free when Haru got to the end of the hall. He stepped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Stem poured out of the shower head as he turned the hot water all the way up. Haru loved hot showers; they were his relief from almost anything. He let the water soak him as he just stood there. A smile flickered across his face. Memories of when he and Kyo had shared the shower seeped into his mind.

(Memory…)

Haru stood in the shower. Stem filled his lungs as he lathered his hair with soap. He wrinkled his nose. He hadn't showered in four days. He had been trying to get from the main house to Shigure's. Damn he hated getting lost.

The bathroom door slid open but Haru didn't notice. Nice, hot shower. Nice, hot water. He did however notice when the shower door slid open. Kyo stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist and a smirk plastered across his face.

"Move over you stupid cow." Kyo stepped into the shower and threw his towel onto the bathroom floor before sliding the door shut. He turned and looked at Haru who just stared back at him blankly. But Kyo knew him better than that, he knew that Haru was grinning on the inside.

They kissed in the shower. Hot water running over them as their skin rubbed against each other. Hands explored wet, hot bodies. Needless to say Haru didn't stay very clean in the shower. Then again, neither did Kyo.

(End of memory…)

When Haru got out of the shower Hatori was already waiting for him in his apartment. A glass of a pinkish-brown liquid was sitting on his coffee table and Haru looked from Hatori to the glass.

"Is that it?" Haru asked as he slowly walked towards the glass.

"If you mean is that the hangover cure, then yes it is. I must warn you however that it doesn't taste all that well." Hatori's voice was smooth as always. It flowed over Haru and somehow coxed him to pick up the glass.

"Will it make the hangover go away?"

"Yes."

"Shit, then I don't care how bad it tastes," Haru muttered before he downed the drink. He scowled and shivered involuntarily at the taste.

"Hurry up and get dressed. I need to drop you off at the school and then get back to the main house, Akito has another high fever."

"Good," Haru said under his breath as he began to get dressed. He pulled on his usual uniform, black pants, black shirt, and a white jacket. He shook his hair dry and looked blankly at Hatori. "Alright, I'm ready."