Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars...blah, blah, blah..etc.
Thanks again for the reviews :p
Agny-Yeah, that would have been interesting to write, but after all this is supposed to be the Prologue to the story...and so far it's already longer than I wanted it to be :-/ Oh well..
Music is my Muse: "they didn't have sex, did they?"...There's no sex in STAR WARS! GOSH! j/k, lol...
Hippie Jade: Yeah, it is kind of gross to think about... which is part of the reason I didn't write it... eeewwwww... :p
Prologue
Carmena was unable to rest. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess and threatened to consume her.
So, there she was in her temporary quarters in the Jedi Temple sitting on the floor, attempting to meditate and calm her thoughts.
Palpatine couldn't be a bad person. She knew him…Sith…She'd like to think she knew him better than anyone.
But Obi-wan's words haunted her like a bad dream.
It didn't matter… She had to calm herself...
Calm…
She couldn't be calm, Jedi were dying everyday, the droid armies were killing innocent people.,..
Pain.
Death.
She was in love but was forbidden to be so…. Obi-wan didn't trust Palpatine, did he have good reason?
"Stop it…" she chastised herself.
What was something that always calmed her? Made her happy?
Let's see...when she was a young padawan at the Jedi Temple, the gardens of Naboo, waterfalls, making her first lightsaber, being chosen by Mace Windu…
Yes, the day she knew she would become a Jedi Knight that was truly her happiest moment.
10 year old Carmena looked up with wide eyes at the imposing figure of Mace Windu,
"Now, Padawan Ellis, I have given this much thought and meditation. I would like you to be my apprentice."
Carmena squeaked out in surprise and was on the verge of jumping up and down in excitement. But, she stopped herself and attempted to look calm and collected. As calm and collected as a ten year old girl could be.
She certainly didn't want him to change his mind because she couldn't control herself.
Carmena attempted to imitate the posture and calm composure of Master Windu himself, but, her attempt just made her look constipated.
"I accept Master Windu. I would be honored to be your apprentice."
Mace nodded and took no notice of her rather amusing posture.
"Your road to becoming a Jedi will be a long difficult one and I won't bother hiding the fact that I will be quite difficult on you, compared to other Jedi Masters and their apprentices. I am a hard teacher but it will be to your advantage."
Carmena smiled, Master Windu appeared to most to be hard and unsympathetic. He was probably one of the most intimidating Masters in the entire Jedi Council.
But Carmena knew better, he was a kind and caring man and she had seen his true heart in the many missions they had been on together. He just expected the best out of people, and whenever someone was not at their best, he would harshly tell them so. And in cases where he met anyone who showed themselves to be unsavory, they would do well to fear him.
Carmena found her connection to the force. She grabbed at it with her tendrils of her mind. It did not retract from her advances, as it had done so many other times before.
A feeling of relief washed over her, the force flowed through her and all around her.
She felt all of the Jedi in the Temple, some doing just the same as her, others dueling, others just going about their business.
Their presence soothed her... she was not alone.
But wait, she sensed the thing that had so far eluded her senses. What was it?
No, not it, who…
She felt a strong presence in the force. She was closely connected to it.
Palpatine?
No. It wasn't him, but the presence reminded her of him somehow.
That didn't make sense. But there it was, and the Force did not lie, it showed things as they were.
Carmena grasped on to the presence.
Where was it?
Whatever it was, it was so close, and yet it was quite faint.
Carmena gasped loudly and in that action lost her tie to the Force.
The presence was indeed close, in fact, it was inside her.
"I'm pregnant…"
She swore under her breath.
This wasn't happening.
Now the problem she had thus far avoided solving, was being forcefully placed before her.
There was no way she could stay in the Jedi Order. Eventually, they would notice she was pregnant.
It was, after all, a hard thing to miss.
And then there would be no hiding the fact that she had broke Jedi Code.
It was doubtful she'd be able to convince the Council it was an immaculate conception.
There it was. She could no longer be a Jedi. She was with Palpatine's child.
Carmena had to tell him.
She felt something in the pit of her stomach. Something was off; something lightly prodding her not to tell him.
But, she had too!
They were going to have a child, even though it meant the end of her Jedi career, it was still a happy moment that she should share with the man she loved.
Then, why was she feeling so uneasy about it?
Something is amiss with Palpatine and we all should be wary of him, for I sense a great deal of danger in trusting him…
Obi-wan's words echoed faintly in her mind. She didn't think her conversation with Obi-wan Kenobi would affect her so much, it was absurd. But, the idea had been planted in her mind nonetheless.
Carmena had to think of the safety of her own child in her actions.
The baby deserved a father.
But…. the child also deserved a future that wasn't clouded in darkness, and if Obi-wan was right that would be all Palpatine would offer their son or daughter.
Tears welled in her eyes. It couldn't be true, Palpatine wasn't a danger to the Republic, his only concern was maintaining it.
But then again as Obi-wan had mentioned, he did continually request more emergency powers to be granted to him, he said, in order to speed along important decisions that could determine the course of the war.
At the time she had agreed with him.
Palpatine was a quite convincing when he wanted to be, after all, he was a politician.
Maybe he did crave power, but that was hardly a crime.
A Jedi may have no want of such things, but Palpatine was no Jedi.
Carmena doubted there were many politicians who didn't crave the power to accomplish their own goals, in order to do what they felt was right.
She had known him for years and she was fairly sure she knew him better than anyone.
Sometimes that which is right in front of you, hard to see it is.
It was funny how Yoda's little sayings seemed to surface whenever she needed guidance. Perhaps it was her affection toward Palpatine that blinded her from the truth.
Carmena wouldn't let her own stubborness put her baby in danger.
She would leave Coruscant. That was what she needed to do, for her child.
When the war was over perhaps she would return if Palpatine's actions showed that he could be trusted to be a good father.
What would she tell the Council?
Would she even tell the Council?
Carmena wouldn't be able to face the look of disappointment that Mace Windu would give her when he found out she was leaving the Jedi.
She knew it was in poor taste to leave with no explanation.
She would leave a message, that was the least she could do… It still left them without any real answers…but Carmena didn't think she could give them that.
She grabbed a datapad off the desk in her quarters and left her goodbye.
"This is Jedi Master Carmena Ellis. I am leaving this message to explain my sudden disappearance. I'm afraid I can no longer be a Jedi."
Carmena stopped at what she said. She was discarding the one thing she had wanted all her life. Now that she had achieved her longtime goal,she readily threw it away.
No, it was just that she recognized her new responsibility, as a mother, as far more important.
"I realize that you can't afford any more losses to the already dwindling Jedi, but I am afraid I am no longer capable of being a Jedi Master. For reasons I can not disclose I am unable to carry out my duties. I am leaving the Order. I am deeply sorry... May the Force be with you all."
She cut transmission and placed the datapad on her unmade bed. Carmena collected what little belongings she owned, which wasn't much, for a Jedi had few personal belongings.
Then, Camena Ellis left Coruscant behind.
