Albus Dumbledore sat in his comfortable chair in the great hall as per usual this morning, feeling as if nothing in the world could bother him. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and his plan was working. Smiling as he lifted a forkful of scrambled eggs to his mouth, he froze, they were at it again.
"Come on Minerva, you know you don't want me to go to class…"
"Severus, don't make me make you."
"But Minerva, its first years again!"
"I don't care, you have obligations and I can't interfere with them!"
"But…"
"No!"
"Please?"
"Albus!"
"Mhmmm?"
"Tell Severus that I can not interfere with his classes."
"Severus, Minerva can not tell you to not go to class."
"Thankyou!"
"But….?"
"…"
"A deal?"
"GET TO CLASS!"
Hermione sat eating a piece of dry toast placidly, ignoring the teacher's argument, praying for them to sort it out quickly. If this was any example of what was to happen later in the day, she wanted nothing to do with it. Just like yesterday, Snape disjointedly walked out of the great hall, with steam literally coming out of his ears, his face scrunched up like he was suffering a bad case of constipation. Seeing Harry sneak a look at Malfoy, who was peacefully eating his cereal, Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Harry, don't even think about it."
"Too late 'Mione, it's already done."
"YO, MALFOY!"
"Mphhhhhhh"
"I-ORDER-YOU-SCRUNCH-UP-YOUR-FACE-SO-YOU-LOOK-LIKE-YOU'RE-CONSTIPATED!"
"Blaise?"
"Reasonable request Draco."
Watching Malfoy obediently scrunch up his face, just like Snape's only seconds before, Hermione rolled her eyes. Then saw Harry's second smirk.
"Harry, no more…"
"Just this one more..."
"Try and make it not overly embarrassing."
"I-ALSO-ORDER-YOU-TO-JUMP-AROUND-THE-GREAT-HALL-FIFTY-TIMES-ON-ONE-FOOT-WHILE-MAKING-YOUR-CONSTIPATED-LOOK!"
"Blaise?"
"Reasonable request Draco."
"Damn!"
"I suggest you get started Malfoy! Oh and don't lose count!"
As Malfoy started to hop on one foot making the funniest face Hermione had ever seen, she left for her first class, transfiguration. She hoped that McGonagall was in a slightly better mood during class than she was just then. Taking as many passageways as she could, she avoided the other students, hoping that she would be able to get to class hearing her name called. It was what she wanted least.
Class ended and Hermione regrettably stood, she knew at least one person would call her name before she worked her way to the dungeons. Soon enough, just around the corner from transfiguration, her name was bellowed by a not-so-happy Neville Longbottom.
"Mione!"
"Yes Neville!"
"Crabbe has a pitchfork and looks like the muggle version of he must not be named!"
"You mean the devil?"
"That's it!"
"Ughhhhh!"
"Order him to put it down Neville!"
"But he wont, its liked he's possessed by the …"
"TRY AGAIN NEVILLE!"
"Crabbe-I-order-you-to-put-down-that-pitchfork-and-immediately-go-to-your-dormitory-and-stay-there-for-the-remainder-of-the-week!"
As Crabbe put down his pitchfork and started to lumber back down to the dungeons, Neville and Hermione breathed deeply. What was it with Neville and Crabbe continually trying to kill him?
"I'm getting better Hermione!"
"Yeah…!"
Rolling her eyes, Hermione dashed away to her next class, willing that she would not be needed for the rest of the day. As it was, she got to class, with out hearing her name called, but as soon as class was finished, she heard Ron calling.
"Hhhheeeerrrrrrmmmmmiiiiiioooonnnneeee!"
"What Ronald?"
"She won't do what I tell her to!"
"What did you tell her to do Ronald?"
"I told her to see how long she could hold her breath in a tub of old gherkin juice."
"Granger, that is unreasonable. I know that!"
"In fact Parkinson, it is not, providing that he does not require you to pass out while holding your breath."
"You heard her, start holding your breath Parkinson!"
Ron conjured a tub of old gherkin juice and slid it towards the wrinkled up face of his slave, Pansy Parkinson. She looked down at it, the discoloured juice and gagged. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply several times before pinching her nose. Dipping her face so it was parallel with the juice; she took an audible breath, and dunked her head into the tub.
"I wonder how long she'll last."
"I dunno, hopefully a while, then she's not talking."
"Ronald!"
"What? She's really annoying!"
"Do you have any idea how mean she is going to be to you next week?"
"Crap! I didn't think of that!"
It was then that their conversation stopped, as a plunging noise erupted from the tub as Parkinson lifted her face.
"Eeewwwww!"
"he he he"
"This is soooo gross!"
"I now order you to not have a shower until after you have dinner, in the Great Hall."
"Ron! That is unacceptable!"
"Why?"
"Because the rest of us will have to put up with her smelling like old gherkins!"
"True, very true, oh well, I tried."
As Parkinson ran off to the nearest showering facilities, Hermione too disappeared. Lunch was over and class had just started, she had to run to make it in time. Collapsing in her seat in time, she was surprised that Snape didn't immediately snatch points away from Gryffindor. Maybe professor McGonagall had ordered him to not take points away from Gryffindor.
Once class was finished, Hermione made her way back to the Gryffindor tower and came across the one couple she had yet to be called upon, Lavender Brown and Goyle. They were standing closely together, as if someone had tied their waists (does Goyle have one?) together.
"Hermione! Save me! He tied me to him!"
"What the hell?"
"Order him to untie you!"
"He wont!"
"Why?"
"He says I have to kiss him!"
"Do you want to be stuck with Goyle for the rest of your life?"
"He said I have to kiss him on the lips, and I just cant do that!"
"Gregory Goyle, you MUST untie the chain around you. As a supervisor of this activity, you are being ordered to obey Lavender Browns commands!"
As Goyle grabbed the key from his back pocket and undid the lock, lavender squealed with delight and hugged Hermione fiercely as soon as she was free.
"I love you Hermione! You are my saviour!"
"Um…"
"I will never forget this moment! I am in your debt for life:
"Your welcome?"
Lavender bounced off down the corridor, obviously to tell Parvati all about how Hermione saved her, passing Blaise Zabini on the way. "Hermione is just down there!" she told him as she continued her journey to the Gryffindor tower, positively bouncing with joy.
"Hey Hermione!" he exclaimed as he saw her exhausted frame leaning on the cold brick walls of the corridor.
"Hi Blaise, how was your day? Hopefully for you, it was better than mine!" she replied as she opened her eyes and incidentally stared into his lavender eyes.
"Well, I'm sure it was like yours, but clearly not as exhausting." Blaise answered as she pushed herself off the wall.
"Humph. I ran around everywhere, class was distracting by everyone arguing, I can't walk down a corridor with out someone yelling for help, and Crabbe is seemingly intent of murdering Neville, while Goyle seems to have a crush on Lavender." She snorted as she took another breath. "Harry is having way too much fun torturing Mal-ferret, and I don't know what is going through Ron's head. Mind you I don't think I want to know."
"Well, um, I don't have anything like that to say, just that McGonagall ordered Snape to do the chicken dance after dinner." Blaise replied sniggering at the mental images of the potions teacher doing the chicken dance.
Giggling, the pair made their way to the great hall, comparing their day's experiences, imagining how bad Snape was going to dance the chicken dance.
Sitting at the staff table, Dumbledore had a twinkle in his eyes. It looked as if the inter-house unity planned was going better than thought.
Hello!
I hope you like this new chapter and take the time to review it! I have taken the time to write it and I really would love it if you could spare a small amount of time to let me know whether you like it (or not)…it would be greatly appreciated. round of applause for reviewers!
Mwah
Queen of the Scoubies
