As Lorelai sat in her bedroom half-listening to Rory, her mind was doing somersaults.
"Mom, what's going on with you?"
"Nothing…"
"yeah, right…I don't believe that for a second. You've been in this funk since a few weeks ago, and you won't tell me what it is about. Obviously something happened. Have you at least told Luke?"
"No!" she practically shouts, not meaning for it to come out so harshly. "I mean, I don't want to bother him with anything else, he's got so much that he's dealing with right now with this whole April thing."
Rory was quiet for a few minutes, while carefully studying her mother. The curse of this crazy mother-daughter bond is that I can usually figure out what's going on in her head when she's upset about something, and I can usually tell exactly what she wants to do about things. Run.
"Mom, you know that Luke loves you, and you know that this is a passing thing… this awkward thing, right?"
"How do you know?"
"You can see it in his eyes, the look that he doesn't let anyone else catch a glimpse of…"
The one with no judgment, love, admiration… yeah, I know the look Rory, I know it well…at least I thought that it did.
"I know. I just need to process some stuff, is that okay? Can I do that?" she says so quietly that it nearly scares her daughter.
"Yeah, I understand…I do."
"Thank you." she says, standing up and pulling a quilt from the chair in her room to wrap around her. She started out the door, ready to go downstairs when she is stopped by the voice of her daughter.
"Mom?"
"Yeah Rory?"
"I've got a lot of stuff to do this weekend, and I was gonna stay here, but if you want…"
"No… stay. It's okay."
"Alright…You know where to find me."
"I'll be on the porch." she says finally, pointing in the general direction of the downstairs area.
Sitting down, she gets comfortable, ready to process. Staring out into some unknown space, she starts to think of things…she starts to think of the beginning.
FLASHY FLASHY
If they don't take me, I don't know who will.
"Excuse me, can I speak with the manager?" the young girl says confidently after walking up to the counter and placing the sleeping infant's car seat at her feet.
"Well, I'm not the manager, but I'm the owner… will that do?" the older woman says, turning around smiling, and trying to lighten up the serious mood the younger girl obviously came in with.
Don't crack a smile… she'll think that you're childish…then you're screwed, cause you've got nowhere else to go Lorelai!
"I suppose that you do the hiring at this establishment then?"
"Why yes, I do, but I'm sorry… I'm not hiring right now."
"Well then do you have any extra rooms?"
"I believe that we have a few, yes… can I interest you in one?"
"Since you would just have wasted space with a vacant room, can I bargain with you?"
Intrigued by the girl that stood before her, Mia came around the counter to size Lorelai up. "What did you have in mind young lady?"
"I need somewhere to stay, but I don't want your charity…my parents have awarded me the "privilege" of not having to work a day in my life and I'm sick of it. I'm willing to work for room and board until I can find a job that will allow me to be able to support myself."
"That seems like a reasonable offer… would you care to step into my office for a moment?"
Lorelai offers up a moment of a surprised look on her face as she takes in what the older woman has just said. "Yes, that's fine."
"My name is Mia, and yours?" she asks, offering a hand to the young girl to shake.
"Lorelai."
As they start to walk over to Mia's office, Lorelai is suddenly struck with panic when she realizes what she was about to forget. Man kid, it was easier when you were inside me cause I couldn't forget you anywhere! She turns back to pick up what looks like some bags and a coat.
"Oh, you can leave your things right there."
"I…I would actually rather not if you don't mind."
"Lorelai, one thing that you will quickly learn about this loving, small town, aside from the fact that the locals are a bit crazy, is that you don't have to worry about anything in Stars Hallow."
"I would still rather keep-" she was interrupted by a squeal coming from the "coats" placed on the floor. Well, she was going to find out eventually. Let's get the judgment over with.
Walking over to the pile, and picking a coat off of her daughter's car seat, she grabbed the now-awake girl and brought her over. "I'd rather keep my daughter with me."
Well, that explains the maturity of this girl, and the confidence. She has a daughter…a daughter… and at such a young age too. "And what is her name?" she says, leaning down to tickle the baby.
"Lorelai… well, I call her Rory, but her full name is Lorelai."
"Well, that is fresh! A woman naming the baby after herself!"
"Yeah, well, I can't decide if it was the closet feminist in me or the Demorall that caused that one, but I'm pleased with the outcome."
"As you should be! She seems like a wonderful baby…" Mia trailed off, entranced by having a baby around her again.
There goes this arrangement. I thought that I had proven myself at least enough to get a place to stay for a while, but now I'm sensing a big but coming along. "…but I'm guessing that this wonderful place doesn't need a screaming infant laying around, and I'm sure that the guests are going to think wonderfully that the youngest employee on your staff, a teenager nonetheless is the mother of said baby. Well, I'm sorry for my obvious bad choices… I'll be leaving now."
Wait… I don't understand. I didn't even think any of those things. "Lorelai, can I ask you a question?"
She stops in her tracks and turns to face the woman she has just met. "Yes?"
"Was it a mistake… getting pregnant?" she asked, fully prepared to get another earful, but wanting to see how she would take such a comment.
She moves the coat covering the seat in her hand over to reveal a warmly nestled baby starting to fall back asleep. "Could I ever call this a mistake?"
After looking down at her baby, she covered the seat up again and turned for the door as Mia turned towards the desk.
"Lorelai, your room is upstairs, not outside in the rain. You should be up and ready to work by eight. Rory can certainly tag along while you do some work until she gets big enough to need some daycare, and then we'll worry about that later."
What? She said that I had a room…she said that I started work in the morning… she said that I could keep Rory with me? She turns to face her again, and walks up to the front desk, where Mia appears to be busying herself with papers. After grabbing the key that was obviously being set out for her, she stands there for a minute, waiting to meet the eye of Mia once more. I just want to see that look one more time. I've never seen that look before. Mia looks up with a smile, and for the first time all evening, Lorelai allows herself to smile back. Love, a warm heart, true kindness. I don't see judgment or pity or accusation, and it is the first time that I have ever seen that look.
Taking her bags up the stairs, she gets into the room and surveys her surroundings, taking it all in. She sets Rory, still in the car seat, on the bed and gets out of her wet clothes, putting on some fresh pajamas that she had brought with her.
After doing a short bathroom routine, she comes back to look at a now awake baby, and smiles down at her. "Man, kid…we've got a lot ahead of us."
Sensing the attention, Rory smiles up at her with a look that could melt anyone's heart, which it does. Lorelai's smile turns to a sad one as she looks down at her daughter. "Rory, I promise you that you are always going to be number one on my list, no matter what. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know how long this lady is going to let us stay here. I know that Grandma and Grandpa's house was nice, warm, and you always had new things waiting for you, but I don't want that for you…" she pauses, realizing that it sounded bad, but not realizing that Rory couldn't really understand what she was saying anyway. "…no, I mean, I want you to have all these things, but not that way. I want you to have more than me. I want you to grow up to be an amazing woman who knows how to stand on her own two feet, who is educated, who…well… isn't my mother. So, I'm apologizing now for leaving them, for leaving that comfort, but I had to…for me and for you. I will try my darndest to get you everything that you ever need or want… that is my promise to you."
The one thing about these old inns is that the nighttime is always so quiet. If anyone makes any noise, you can hear everything, which in some cases ends up both humorous and embarrassing. However, in this case, as Mia stood outside of the room of this new girl, it was good. She didn't know if taking this girl and her daughter on was such a good idea, until she heard Lorelai talking to the baby.
Lightly, she tapped on the door. "Lorelai, it's Mia."
Well this will be good…two minutes after she gives me the room she comes up to find me crying… yeah that's going to look great to the new boss there Lorelai. Wiping her eyes, she walks to open up the door, and she is met with the same look from earlier.
"Yes?"
"Well, I don't let a guest go to their room without eating! Have you and the little one eaten anything this evening?"
"No, actually, we've been a bit busy."
"Well, then come down to the kitchen and I'll take care of getting you some food."
"I would greatly appreciate that Mia, thank you."
FLASHY END
Wow…that was sooo long ago. I was so young, so brave. She thinks these things while shaking her head. Why can't I make sense of things? Why can't I tell Luke what happened? Why can't I admit to myself what happened? Why am I waiting for him to see me again? I thought we were past this awkwardness. I thought that we were on our way, and then April steps into the picture… and then…UGH! I don't want to think about this.
Okay, so this is going to be a kind of weird flashback look into some stuff that I think they need to do on the show. I would love to understand more of what goes on in Lorelai's head, so I'm writing about that, a more private Lorelai look. I hope that you all like it, but I don't know where it's going to really go, and what memories I'm going to include, but it will be interesting hopefully! Read and Review… let me know what you're thinking. I've got the first few planned out in my head, but that's it.
