Disclaimers: Uwahhh... I still don't own the Inu-tachi. I had a reservation to pick them up at the airport, but they said that since I wasn't there to pick them up (I was out of state for a while) that I couldn't have them, and they sent them back! I was so close!

A/N: Sorry for the no-update-ness and (for those of you on mediaminer) the original TWM getting booted off the island. So to speak, anyway. For those of you on fanfiction(dot)net, that means you can't go peek at the originals any more. Nyah!

Ai no Sakura Part 3

The day brightened later that afternoon, and it warmed up considerably. The setting sun created a pink-and-orange lighting as the village people gathered at the river. Miroku and Kaede, as well as a number of other people, held lanterns that were fastened onto poles that stood a little taller than the bearer. With the canopy of trees that filtered the sunset's light into dappled patches of color, the lanterns were the main source of light. The candles that flickered within the paper containments created sparks on the running water.

A few small lanterns set on proportionate boats sat on the banks of the river, awaiting deployment. Couples fussed over their floats, trying to make sure there were no defects that would cause their precious symbols to sink in the water. The children became irritable and fussy after such a long day, and their parents struggled to keep them under control.

Kagome had selected a small white-and-red lantern for herself and InuYasha, with the symbol for "beginning" on it in black ink. A few lanterns started down the river, and the noise in the crowd died down to watch the candle-lit water sparkle in little circles around the lanterns. Watching them go down the river, Kagome suddenly realized how much this festival could mean to someone. This was someone's chance to start over. This was someone's new beginning.

Her gaze turned to InuYasha. The hanyou watched the lights travel downstream, the feeling hitting him as suddenly as it hit her. His attention was held fast by the lanterns, so he didn't notice her watching him. Something inside her started turning flips. This was their new beginning. Together. No more looming doubts about Kikyou. No more jealous fights between InuYasha and Kouga. No more fear of Naraku using them against one another. And their being together couldn't be changed, if she remembered the way the marks worked correctly.

"What?" InuYasha asked, finally realizing that she was watching him. Kagome just smiled and shook her head, and set her lantern afloat on the river. She watched it drift on for a while, then turned back to her hanyou.

There was a worried look on his face for a second, but it was gone before she could be sure it was there in the first place.

Sango sat on the back of the river a little further downstream than InuYasha and Kagome. One leg was tucked under her, her injured leg in a careful position that wouldn't pinch any nerves. Miroku stood by her, lantern-on-a-staff in hand. He hadn't thought about it at the time, but he realized that the lantern that Kaede gave him had the symbol for "love" on it. He wondered if the elderly miko was trying to give him a sign, telling him "go for it" or warning him "keep ye paws off."

While the lovely Taiji-ya watched the lanterns drift away, Miroku found his thoughts imitating the lights. He wasn't cursed any more. He didn't need an heir any more, if his ploy for getting one had ever worked anyway. A frown creased his brow as he thought of Kaede's possible message. If it was indeed a "go for it" sign, it could be because both he and Sango were at a point where they were no longer being driven by their pasts. They had the opportunity to move on with their lives, to strive for a future instead of against the past. It used to be Miroku's dearest desire. Now his dearest desire sat before him, watching the festival lanterns float down the river. His thoughts turned bitter as he thought of Kaede's second message, "back off." Did she think he was going to love and leave Sango? In all reality, what evidence had he given her to make her think he would be loyal? Hadn't he been the lecherous one, the one that hit on anything that walked and talked and sported a nice rack?

As for Sango, her thoughts weren't really on the lanterns. 'Why didn't he ask me?' she wondered in her head. Did Miroku think she was unfit to ask to bear his child? She knew it was a moot point now, now that he didn't have to produce an heir to his curse? And what was up with that in the first place? Why in the world would he want to have a child just so that they could live, grow up, and be devoured by that blasted hell-hole in their hand? Was it in order to insure that there would always be someone to try and defeat Naraku? The youkai had made enough enemies for that to happen even if Miroku hadn't produced an heir, or defeated Naraku. So why had he been such a womanizer?

A thought struck her. It lodged in her throat, and she was unable to swallow past it. Was it because he was insecure? Those women were only passing whims, and he never remained with any of them. Did he feel that he had to parade around with false bravado to hide the fear that he would one day be swollowed by his cursed hand? She snuck a glance at him through the curtain of her hair, pretending to watch the lanterns flow from further upstream.

He was watching her. It would have unsettled her that he had been watching her for so long under any circumstances without her knowing, but there was a lost look in his eyes. It struck something inside her, made her want to cry for him. 'Damn emotions,' Sango thought, turning her attention truely to the lanterns. 'Always trying to show themselves when I least want them to.'

It wouldn't have been fair, Miroku reasoned with himself. It wouldn't have been fair to try and make a life with Sango, after she had lost so much. The looks she gave him sometimes, like just a few moments ago, when she didn't think he was paying attention... He knew she was interested in him, and if it wasn't a romantic interest, it was at least a curiosity to know more about one of the people she had traveled with for so long. He couldn't let her give into that interest, and ironically, the best way he found to keep her at arm's length was to act like he wanted her closer than arm's length. It was too ironic, really. He found himself amazed at how doing things the wrong way could send such a message. He did want her closer, he really did, but if given the choice, he would have gone after her a bit differently. It was strange that he had been acting on his desires the entire time, and yet doing what he didn't want to do in order to protect her, in his eyes, from getting hurt.

If they really had started a life together, what kind of a life would it have been if Naraku was still around? Back then, he had little hope of ever defeating Naraku, but struggled ahead, hoping against hope that he would one day defeat the evil creature. If Naraku was still alive and he and Sango were together, he wouldn't have been able to bear it. His time would have been too short for his liking. And he would have hurt Sango by dieing like that, so suddenly, as he was sure it would have been.

Now that he had a true chance to act without fear of the future, how was he going to prove to Sango that his intentions were pure? Would her response be, again, a slap and an insulting name? What if she thought he was lieing? What if she refused to believe him? What if she didn't really feel anything for him at all?

That thought struck a cold note in his chest, reverbrating hollowly against his ribcage. He ground his teeth together, willing the feeling to pass.

It didn't.

Kagome and InuYasha sat together a little while later, a lantern stuck fast in the ground beside them. Kagome had fallen asleep a short while before the villagers started drifting away from the river, and back to their warm beds. InuYasha sat with his back to a large boulder, Kagome snuggled up to his shoulder. A short while down the river, he knew Sango and Miroku were starting back to the village, too.

He hadn't given her a choice in this, had he? No, his youkai blood had seen to that. InuYasha cursed himself for it. Her returning the mark had been to save his life, hadn't it? If his damn youkai hadn't been so fucking confidant that Kagome would return the mark, maybe this could have been avoided. Maybe he could have given her a choice in this. He didn't remember exactly how he had marked her, though his consciousness had started to drift back after he tasted Kagome's blood. It was too late for any apologies now, though, he decided. What was done was done, and for better or worse, they were well on their way in the process of mating. Glancing at the girl from the future, he knew she wasn't ready for the next step yet. He ached to complete the process, but if she didn't even want to be with him in the first place, he couldn't bear to trap her any more than she already was.

Suddenly, completely unbidden, his thoughts turned to Kikyou. He didn't think of her the way he used to, and he hadn't for a while. No, what he thought of was the terrifying thought that she had been able to possess Kagome. InuYasha's heart skipped a few beats at the fact, the true horror of it hitting him head-on. When Kikyou took control, he felt weak again. Like he was dieing from an unreturned mark all over again. That was probably what it was, since Kagome used her miko powers to return the mark and ultimately save his life. He knew he would keep slipping closer to that end every time Kikyou took control of Kagome. It was bad enough that they had the same face when they were so completely different, but the thought of Kagome not being Kagome and being controlled against her will made his stomach churn.

Then he realized what he was doing was no different.

He forced Kagome into this. He forced her into something against her will! He hissed at the thought, turning his gaze abruptly to the running waters.

He knew Sesshoumaru was there, just across the river. His blasted brother had been just barely out of sight the entire day, just outside the village, still in places where he knew what was going on. It was infuriating enough to catch a random whiff of him throughout the day, but Kouga's underlying scent had been a constant reminder of thier "guests" in the village. He understood that Kouga thought of Kagome as pack, even if she wasn't going to be his mate, and how he'd want to protect her from any slimy youkai that decided to try and take the two pieces of the jewel from her in her time of weakness. Now that InuYasha and Kagome had mated, protecting Kagome meant protecting the hanyou, as well, since if he died, she died.

That was what scared him. With Kikyou able to take control, and with InuYasha slipping further toward death when she did, InuYasha had a very real reason to be afraid of the miko that was fifty years dead, and seven days re-dead. He didn't want to be the reason Kagome died.

It took a very big effort for him to stop thinking about that. He turned his thoughts to Sesshoumaru, instead.

The reasons for the youkai's companionship in the village confounded the hanyou. Sesshoumaru, the lord of the fucking western lands, could have stayed anywhere he wanted to. Yet, there he was, across the river, protecting his little brother from opportunistinc youkai, acting as if there were a reason for him to be there. InuYasha resolved to find out what he wanted.

But that was it. That was as far as his thought process felt like going with the thought of his elder half-brother. His head refused to think of nothing else but the threat to his mate. Ironically, the thing threatening his mate was his mate.

'She wouldn't be in this predicament if it weren't for me,' InuYasha thought bitterly. 'If she hadn't become my mate, she wouldn't be in so much danger. If I hadn't been a hanyou, if I hadn't let go of the Tetsusaiga... she wouldn't have to die because of me!' He never thought to tell himself that maybe Kagome could have stopped him, and maybe she genuinely wanted to be with him. All he told himself was that he had trapped her at his side, and that she was too kind to let him die.

They were friends, right?

And then he had to go and screw that up.

Finally, his mind decided to cut him a break. "Friends" was a foreign concept, and one worth pondering. He had never had any "friends" growing up. The closest thing he had come to a friend before was Kikyou. And he had messed that up, too. Now, though, he had several, and real friends.

It was strange... he had never sat down and thought about the people around him so deeply. He found himself dumbfounded that Sango and Miroku, and even Shippo, managed to be so lighthearted, even after everything they'd gone through. Sango had lost everyone she had ever had, and Miroku had been cursed to lose himself, as well. InuYasha knew all along that that was the reason that Miroku hadn't asked Sango to bear his children. The actual looks he gave the Taiji-ya were enough to tell InuYasha that he loved her. And since Sango had lost everyone, and since Miroku was going to die unexpectedly, it had kept them apart.

Shippo... Shippo! InuYasha almost laughed. He may have picked on the kitsune a lot, but the kit was okay. 'For a pup,' InuYasha thought with a wrinkle of his nose. Shippo may have had some rather bratty tendancies... 'Like taking the last rice ball,' InuYasha grouched... but for having lost both his parents and never learned to fight or hunt or do anything to take care of himself, he was really pulling through okay. 'Even if he is being raised like a human.'

Hey... There was a kid with Sesshoumaru. A human kid. InuYasha was curious as to his brothers intentions with her as well. Was his interest strictly paternal? Or was Sesshoumaru raising himself up a mate? It wasn't unknown to the youkai world for an elder youkai to take in a younger one and raise them to be their mate, but the kid... Rin... she was human! Sesshoumaru hated humans, didn't he?

'Well,' InuYasha thought, 'If Sesshoumaru decides he doesn't want to take care of her any more, I'm sure Kagome wouldn't mind watching after her. She does enough for Shippo already...' InuYasha almost laughed again, but settled for smiling amusedly. 'Humans... I love 'em.'