Hey everyone! It's been a while.
There was a glitch a couple of months back in the doc manager that screwed up the chapters. I was able to replace them but as a result, lost all the notes and comments I made at the beginnings and ends. I fixed up some plot holes and grammatical errors while I was at it but ...
On with the story. This is the longest chapter I've ever written and frankly I have my doubts. Cheers!
~oOo~
The Numere Wetlands.
Home of the world's most psychotic, crazy, desperate to live creatures. What kind of genetic mutation produced the man-faced monkey? Taking the face of a human to trap people. What a teenage girl.
It's harder to run in marshland. At least the concrete in that god-awful tunnel allowed quick movement. In marsh, your feet sinks into the ground with every step. Then you have to yank it back out, only for it to sink in again. There's the fog, too. It's cold and thick, settling on my skin like a film of fear.
I hate this place.
"Leorio, Kurapika, Risumi!" Gon called from up front. "Killua says we should keep to the front!"
'You imbecile." Leorio roared. "We would go if we could!"
"We'll catch up with you guys." Kurapika called back.
"Got to be kidding me." I grumbled.
The fog around us thickened. Our footsteps made uncomfortable sucking sounds in the marsh.
"We can't even see which way we're going." Kurapika sighed.
"It's okay." Leorio replied. "As long as we don't lose sight of the guys in front of us."
A very sound theory. And it might have worked if heads didn't start rolling off their shoulders one by one. The fog thickened. Everything became a milky white.
Leorio yelped. "What's going on?"
Giant, juicy, red strawberries emerged from the fog and floated tantalisingly in front of us. I didn't move. Strawberries are my favourite. Hallucinogen?
An applicant walked towards them. He'd barely made it past Kurapika before he hit the ground with a strangled yell. Poor fellow. His screams returned, more frantic, as the head of an orange dinosaur lifted him high into the air. His screams abruptly stopped. The movement caused the fog to dissipate a little and we could see that the dinosaur had strawberries growing on stalks out of its back.
The dinosaur paused for a moment, as if considering its options and darted its head at Leorio, who blocked the bite with his brief case. He swore under his breath. The dinosaur tossed it's mouthful into the air. Leorio's screams were raw and terrified.
"Leorio!" Kurapika yelled. I snapped out of my trance and darted for its feet. I pulled my twin scythes out by their chain and twirled them as I ran for maximum momentum. The cold moisture on the grass seeped into my combat boots, chilling me to the bone. The whirring sound filled my ears as giant orange feet filled my vision. I drove the blades into them with my whole body weight. Then I ran for my life.
Even as I as running, the shadow of the orange dinosaur was swaying unevenly. It roared in pain as I released a stream of profanities at the top of my lungs. What on earth had Kurapika done to its face? I swerved to the right just as the dinosaur collapsed, shaking the ground with a massive rumble.
I cursed again, for good luck.
"Come on, let's go!" Kurapika shouted.
~oOo~
The only sounds were the squishing of our shoes in the mud. Dank mist seeped into our clothes and hair, making everything cold, wet and sticky. Leorio threw his hands out to stop me and the blonde. "Wait, don't move." Before us, not ten metres away, was the scene of an ambush. A group of seven men with weapons at the ready surrounded the lanky figure of Hisoka. I cursed under my breath. If we backed away now we'd still have a chance of making it out alive and back to the main group.
But my body wouldn't move. I was rooted to the spot, unable to tear my eyes away as the crazy clown cut down six body with a swipe of a card. The leader was screaming and crying for help, crawling away on all fours, but he received two cards in the back of the head before the thought of coming to his aid even entered my mind. Playing cards are flexible and soft, made of thin plastic or paper. How was it that this joke of a man could make them pierce a skull?
Hisoka froze for a minute. Then his golden eyes slid towards us. I couldn't supress the shudder that racked my body. Then, Kurapika spoke, his voice low and calm. "On the count of three, we run in different directions. One… Two…"
I pivoted and sprinted away the moment Kurapika uttered "Three!" I ran so fast my arms burned and the trees blurred, as if making up for my immobility before. Faintly, I heard what sounded like Leorio's roar. Bloody hell, that idiot! I turned back the way I came. Back to the clearing with the crazy clown.
I arrived in time to see the brunette taking wide swings at the clown with a length of timber. Where did that even come from? Hisoka was dodging them all but he was making his move now, I could see his lips stretch into a grin… I used the last of my strength to run up and tackle Leorio to the wet, mushy ground. Ugh.
"Risumi, what are you doing here?" Leorio yelled. I struggled to catch my breath before replying.
"Saving your ass!"
"I don't need your saving."
"You just did!" I protested as I stood up. "Did you not run or something? You know sometimes it's a very good idea to run, especially when a crazy man wants to kill you!"
Hisoka chuckled. I clammed my mouth shut. There was a sudden gust of wind as something blew past me, and let's just say, one minute he was in front of us and the next minute Leorio crashed horribly into a tree. I backed up smart, tugging my scythes out of their holsters.
The jester took his time advancing towards me. "Well, well, well. What a treat." He licked his lips and I couldn't hide an involuntary shiver. "The Lisbon princess." He flicked out a card.
Hisoka lunged and I threw myself to the side, pivoting and preparing my scythes to cut. If I didn't go for the kill I would die for sure. I lashed at his arms with a rowing motion, driving him back, and back, but not once did I make contact which was infinitely frustrating. And scary. The whole time he was smirking. He was still smirking when he shoved me back by the tension in the chain connecting the blades. I cussed through my teeth. Hisoka licked his lips. How to get out of this situation?
"I wonder," Hisoka said, "how little Resa ended up in a place like this?"
"Who the hell are you?" I grunted as I used my blades to deflect his cards.
"Hmmm, who knows?" The creepy clown sang. He flicked the cards at me with triple the speed. They tilted in crazy directions; slipping between my blades, through my shirt, slicing my hair, my skirt, and my arms. I winced with each cut. Scythes aren't enough. What were all those hours spend training for? I can't beat this psychopath. I don't want to die at the hands of a man in a jester costume to be eaten by some mutation in this swamp. I want to clear my name and live a happy life. I want to see the elder sister I idolised become a world renowned archaeologist. I want to pass with Kurapika, Gon, Killua and Leorio. Hell, I want to eat pizza one last time. But what were the chances of him sparing me? He, who had dissolved a man's arms into beautiful plum blossom petals.
"What a delicious expression." Hisoka licked his lips slowly.
A wave of desperation engulfed me and I threw the scythes at him as a last ditch attempt. They dug deep into the marshy ground behind him. Well, shit. I stumbled over a patch of particularly soft ground as I backed away, landing on my butt with both hands behind me. The lanky figure prowled closer and closer. I shuffled away until my back hit a tree.
Hisoka leered at me, bending down to lift my chin with one finger, exposing my neck. My breathing came heavier as I anticipated the card that would slice open my jugular vein. There was a flash of red, a distortion of the teardrop stencil on Hisoka's cheek that left an angry red mark.
Gon. With his fishing pole. I was saved by a twelve-year-old kid.
The clown rose up to his full height and stalked to the green-clad boy, his lips pulled in a shit-eating grin. "What a fascinating weapon. Allow me a closer look." I gathered my bag, wrenched my blades from the ground and crawled around the clearing to Leorio. The man's cheek was swelling like a giant gumball. I dashed up to the clown, planning to at least land a kick on his back but he disappeared at the last second. As I stumbled to catch my footing, something hard and solid caught me on the back of my neck. And I went out like a light.
~oOo~
"Risumi. Hey, Risumi!"
"Do you think she's okay?"
Someone's hand brushed against my nose. "Well, she seems to be breathing."
I blinked slowly. Kurapika and Gon were leaning over my face.
"She's awake!" Gon exclaimed, as I struggled to sit up. I clutched my head and winced.
"What happened here?" I asked, taking the blonde's hand to stand up.
"Hisoka said we 'passed' and carried Leorio with him." Gon said, sounding unsure.
"What exactly did we pass?" I grumbled, rubbing my arms. My eyes widened when I saw they were stained red. Oh, right. The psychopath all but tore up my arms. Speaking of tearing… I glanced down at my shirt. It was barely hanging off my shoulders, all but useful. I took it off, revealing the white tank top underneath. I dumped the torn, pink shirt by a tree. Pollution my ass, knowing this place some freaky thing will eat it. "So um, we good to go?"
"Yeah, we were just waiting for you to wake up." Kurapika said.
I hesitated. "Do we even know where to go?"
"I do." Gon piped up. "It's Leorio's cologne. I could tell it apart from kilometres away." Kurapika raised an eyebrow. I sniffed at the air but rubbed at my nose straight away. It's too cold, I can barely smell a thing in this awful, wet place.
"Well then, let's get going."
~oOo~
The site of the Second Phase was blocked by a tall fence. Sounds of wild animals could be heard from out here. We found Leorio safe and relatively sound. "Except for your arm, everything seems fine." Kurapika assured him.
"Are you mocking me? What about my face" the older man demanded.
"As he said, everything is as usual." I teased.
"Listen here, you!"
It seemed Hisoka's punch was so great that not only did it push Leorio's cheek to swell over one eye, but it also knocked out twenty minutes of his life prior to the hit. He remembered nothing of the incident. But he was nice enough to patch up my arms even though I made fun of him.
"What even happened?" The brunette asked.
"An accident." I said as nonchalantly as I could.
"I bet you did something stupid again." Leorio grunted. Yeah, like trying to save you. Leorio was strange. He claimed all he wanted was money but he has a really noble cause. We made so much fun of him but he'll still help us when we need it. All I could conclude was that he was just… nice. 'Nice' is such a peacemaker but for the life of me I could not find another word to describe him as he wrapped bandages around my arms.
~oOo~
As it turns out, the growling sounds behind the fence weren't from wild beasts. They were only from the aching, empty stomach of Buhara, one of the examiners of the Second Phase. The other examiner was a tiny pixie of a girl with turquoise hair and not enough clothes called Menchi. They were Gourmet Hunters. And we had to cook. "Roast pork, that's what I like best." Buhara said, drooling a little. "I don't care what kind it is as long as it's from the Biska Forest."
The atmosphere was quite different from the stagnant hostility of the First Phase. It was heavy and watchful in the tunnel, each person waiting to another to make a move. Then the run was possessed with only one collective mindset – survive. Here, is the first competition of the Hunter Exam.
There is a limit to how much a person can eat, no matter how much they like to eat. We need to catch a pig, cook it and present it to the examiner as quickly as possible lest we fail by the independent variable of metabolism. The woods were swarming with people like bees from a hive.
Gon jumped and slid down a grassy hill. Killua quickly followed with a cheer, then I did too. This was the perfect scenario of 'if he jumped off a cliff would you jump too?' It turns out I would and it was a stupid decision because for some godforsaken reason the boys didn't move after sliding down. "Killua? Killua!" I yelped. "Move, damn it!" But he didn't and I slammed into him. I could barely take a breath before Kurapika crashed into my back and knocked the wind out of me. And there was an even bigger force when Leorio added the cherry to the cone but now I couldn't breathe for another reason.
In front of us were the biggest pigs I had ever seen with boat-like snouts. They were chewing on bones. "Don't tell me they're –" Leorio started as they looked up.
"Carnivores!"
We climbed over each other and bolted. We were being chased by giant carnivorous beasts through a forest full of enemies but I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my throat. There was a sort of hilarity about the situation.
"Their forehead is their weakness!" Gon's voice called from somewhere to my left. I ran up the nearest tree and back-flipped off it to kick it's giant forehead. It froze, swayed a little and toppled over. Huh, that was easy. Talk about having big things to compensate.
We carried them back to the exam site – me, Gon, Killua, Kurapika, Leorio and every other applicant that happened to be within hearing range of Gon, which was pretty much all of them. Everyone proceeded to throw their pigs on a spit and roast them. And not to be stereotypical but…
"Do any of you guys know how to cook?" I asked them.
"I help Mito-san sometimes." Gon said cheerfully.
"Of course I can." Killua rolled his eyes.
"A little." Kurapika replied.
"Not at all." Leorio said melodramatically. I sighed. Judging by the methods of the rest of the applicants, I could conclude pretty solidly that they couldn't either. None of them washed the pig, for starters. Or carved out the favourable pieces. They just stuck a pole through its mouth to its butt and set it on fire.
Once I got the heat going I greased up a saucepan and threw in cubes of pork – which I had cleaned, by the way. Then I proceeded to also throw in a handful of mixed herbs and spices along with a few cups of chicken stock. Stock is a good back up for those who can't cook properly, Del said. Well it's a shortcut but up against people who didn't even gut the pig? No problem.
I looked over at the boys and saw that they all did the exact same thing. Even Killua who had so confidently said he could cook.
"No one has passed yet." Leorio mused in front of his charred black pig.
"And Menchi hasn't even taken a bite." Kurapika added. Up on the podium the turquoise-haired woman was complaining about the lack of culinary creativity. Kurapika snapped his fingers in understanding. "This phase of the exam is a cooking test, but they're judging us on originality and powers of observation." Gon and Leorio both got smug 'I got this!' looks on their faces as they rubbed their chins. I raised an eyebrow.
I watched in uncertainty as Leorio stuck a flag in his pig and marched proudly up to the examiners. "How do you like my cooking?"
"Is this supposed to be a kiddy meal?" Menchi roared, flipping his plate. I snickered into my fist.
Next to march up was Gon, who had thrown a lei of pink flowers over his pig and tied pink ribbons around the ears and tail. "I'm next!" Was that a serious attempt?
"It's basically the same thing!" Menchi yelled at him.
Undeterred, Kurapika rocked up. "I'm next, please judge my creation." Creation? You're getting ahead of yourself, Blondie. He had the sense to get rid of the head and limbs, at least, leaving him with the body which he sliced up like hamburger patties and inserted a salad in between the layers. Huh, this might be good.
Menchi had a tired, pissed, sceptical frown on her face. "Finally, something that resembles an actual dish." She dug her fork in. It was the first time she had bothered to taste an applicant's dish. She considered it for a moment, before, "Yuck!" the blonde looked taken aback. "Appearance is important but only if the taste is good too! You're no better than #403."
"Oh well, that's too bad." Leorio said cheerfully to Kurapika when he came back but all the teen could do was repeat 'no better than #403' under a cloud of gloom. He shot me a look of dismay.
Aww, poor baby. Just kidding. Bow down before my culinary prowess, peasant! Although, I could sympathise with him. Being just like Leorio must have been hard to swallow.
I lifted the lid off my saucepan and gulped. I had spent so long watching the boys fail that I forgot about my own dish! I popped one of the pork cubes in my mouth. Hmm, not bad, a little tough, maybe. Oh well, nothing a little tomato sauce can't fix. I tipped the contents of the pan onto a plate and squirted tangy red sauce over it. I set the plate down in front of Menchi and Buhara fairly apprehensively. Menchi gauged it suspiciously. "Seems okay." She speared a slice and chewed critically before, "You think ketchup is gonna fix this block of leather?" She yelled as she flipped my plate, too. Block of leather? That's a little harsh. "That's just like #402!"
#402 is Kurapika, who was no better than #403. I'm also no better than Leorio. I sighed. That's depressing, especially considering the fact that I'd cooked before! "Never mind." Gon said, patting my back. He's such a sweet kid.
"So much food, I'm stuffed!" Buhara said, patting his swollen stomach.
"Yeah, I'm stuffed too." Menchi said sarcastically. She had taken a total of two bites out of all the applicant dishes and swallowed nothing. "Therefore, no one passes. It's over." Her voice had taken a sulky, superior tone. Disbelief rippled through the crowd of hunter applicants. Well that's disappointing, we'd invested so much effort into making it this far, but it's not entirely soul crushing. I didn't get killed or badly injured for one thing, neither did Gon, Killua, Kurapika or Leorio which is a blessing in itself. I'd have to go back to face grandma's scorn but I didn't fail horribly – the entire cohort failed horribly.
There was the sound of splintering wood and the tearing of metal as #255 broke his station. "Stop screwing around. You asked for pork, so we risked our lives to –!"
"I said," she interrupted him, "to prepare the pork in a manner we both found delicious. None of you made anything remotely appetising. You all did almost the same thing." Hey, I beg to differ. "There was no effort made. Just when I thought someone actually tried, they only changed the appearance. No one tried to emphasise the flavour. I'm positive none of you took cooking seriously!" I stared at the grass and bit my lip. It was, for the most part, blindingly accurate.
"All pork dishes are the same." The bald ninja said sagely. In a flash, the turquoise woman had him by the collar and was screaming into his shocked face.
"Just say that once more. Any more crap from you and I'll shove my arms up your ass and knock your teeth out!" Whoa. That's awfully visual. "Don't mess with me! I don't want any lip from a bunch of amateurs who can't even roast a pig!" She sat down with a sigh. "In other words, you people don't have the guts to try anything new."
"Shut up!" #255 shouted. "I'm not trying to become a cook or a 'Gourmet Hunter', I want to be a hunter!" This was followed by a chorus of cheers. "My goal is to become a Blacklist Hunter. I refuse to let a mere Gourmet Hunter decide my fate!" He just said Gourmet Hunters weren't real hunters, didn't he. Well, I wish you a comfortable trip across the Styx.
"Too bad you're stuck with a mere Gourmet Hunter for an examiner, better luck next year?" Menchi pouted. #255 threw himself at her in a fit of rage and was punched so hard by Buhara he left not only the ground, but also the entire examination compound. I whistled under my breath as I admired the arc of his trajectory. Simply divine. Beautiful curves. Beside me, Gon winced in sympathy.
"Buhara, don't interfere." Menchi said calmly.
"But if I hadn't intervened you would have killed him, right?"
Menchi giggled. "Probably." She drew two long, beautiful knives from their holsters at her sides. "Let me clarify this. We frequently venture into dens of ferocious beasts, searching for ingredients. Every hunter knows some form of martial arts." Said knives were tossed into the air and juggled in a very impressive display. "You lack the willingness to experiment. That alone disqualifies you from becoming hunters!" No one dared to make a sound.
There was a burst of static from high above us.
"That being said, it would be excessive to fail every single applicant." The jovial voice came from an airship.
"The Hunter's Association logo!" Leorio informed us. A figure jumped from a door and plummeted into the earth at an incredibly high speed, creating a huge crater and a shower of dirt and smoke. The dust was cleared quickly by the wind and from within appeared a cocky-looking old man in traditional clothing and long, flowing eyebrows. Who the hell…?
"The chairman of the selection committee." Menchi supplied for us. "He's in charge of the hunter exam – Chairman Netero."
There was a lot of discussion, including the once violent examiner demurely admitting her exam was unnecessarily difficult and volunteering to resign her position. In the end Chairman Netero proposed a re-do of the Second Phase. Boiled eggs seemed entirely too tame after the order for carnivorous pigs.
Mt Split-in Half was… split in half, yes it was. I almost laughed. The person who chose the name either had no imagination or fancied himself funny. The two sides of the chasm were joined together by ropes and ropes of thick, glossy … silk? And hanging from them were clusters of the biggest eggs I had ever seen. Honestly, I could hold them with two hands and my fingers would not be able to meet.
"Spider eagles build their webs in deep ravines to protect their eggs from protectors." Chairman Netero informed us. Spider eagles? Spidery-birds that could fly? I shuddered. Hope we don't have to catch one of them. I glanced at Kurapika and was surprised to see the gleam of excitement in his eyes. Gon and Killua too. Boys are beyond my comprehension.
"This makes their eggs one of the most difficult ingredients to obtain." The Chairman continued. "The eggs are also known as 'dream eggs'."
"H-hold a second, you don't mean –" #255 spluttered.
"I sure do!" Menchi cut him off in affirmation. She took two high-heeled steps to the edge of the ravine and leapt into the air, where she performed a perfect flip to face the bottom as she fell. She grabbed onto a strand of the web. Her gravitational energy caused it to launch her back up but she flipped again with perfect form and grabbed onto it. There was a collective gasp of disbelief.
The turquoise haired woman paused. "Even if she can grab some eggs, how will she climb back up?" Leorio wondered aloud. Menchi suddenly let go and fell freely. She tore an egg from its cluster on her way down. And disappeared into the fog that filled the seemingly bottomless chasm. "Is she trying to kill herself?" Leorio said in disbelief.
"No, she's not." Kurapika said. We all watched in apprehension. There was a sudden gust of wind that tossed debris – and Menchi – high into the air above us. I whistled.
Killua and Gon gazed at her happily. "That looks fun." The white haired kid said.
"This ravine has updrafts. They help the hatched eggs fly up to the web." The Chairman told us.
"There, now I just boil the egg." Menchi said, holding up her egg proudly.
"Y-you must be joking." #255 spluttered.
Gon smiled widely. "I've been waiting for this!"
"On the count of three?" I asked them. They nodded. "Alright. One, two … three!" I took a flying leap off the edge and laughed as I fell. I grabbed onto a strand of the web and gasped as my arms were almost dislocated from my shoulders. There is way too much elasticity in these things! Kurapika grabbed on to my right, and Killua to my left. And every time an applicant landed on our strand I felt it bounce and slack a little.
"Catch you later." Someone said, and let go.
"Let's go!" Leorio announced. My hands loosened a fraction.
"Not yet." Gon said. I yelped and clutched the strand of web with all my might. I couldn't see him past Killua's mop of hair but Gon's voice was serious in a way I had never heard him before.
"Why not?" Leorio asked him.
"There's no wind." Killua said flatly. "There isn't always an updraft."
As he said this, there came a scream from deep in the ravine. The applicant who let go first never came back up. I shivered.
Leorio's voice was panicked. "When's the next one?"
"Wait." Gon said. It was a stalemate. Some fifty people were clutching onto the web. Nobody moved. Everybody watched Gon intently. Our strand gave way a little.
"What?" Leorio yelped.
"The web won't hold us all." Kurapika replied. His voice had taken on an edge of panic.
I looked down at the fog and imagined the jagged rocks at the bottom. "On the off chance we die here, I love you guys." I said, half-jokingly.
"Don't say things like that!" Leorio cried.
"Gon, not yet?" Killua asked him. He made no reply. His eyes were closed in concentration.
"Damn, I can't wait for an updraft!" Someone yelled. I heard him let go.
"Me neither." Someone else said. He followed the first person.
Panic makes people irrational. If there's no updraft you can't get back up anyway. Better to wait till the last moment of the web's strength than to fall to a premature death.
"It's gonna snap!" Leorio shouted. But at the same moment I felt a tiny breeze waft at the bangs in front of my eyes. Ooh.
"Now!" Gon commanded. I released my grip on the web and felt the blood rushing back into my fingers. It felt tingly. I tore an egg with my descent and waited. A dozen scenarios of what-if flashed through my mind but soon enough a cushion of wind supported my flailing body and pushed us back up the ravine. I laughed with glee. I jumped off our ride back onto the ground. That was fun, but solid ground is so much more comfortable. I caught Kurapika's eye and he looked happy and carefree. We shared a smile.
Ten minutes later, the eggs were finally cooked. I bit into mine hungrily and it just melted in my mouth. I moaned. The yolk was runny and the whites were fluffy.
"Totally food-gasm worthy." Leorio remarked.
"Totallyyy." I repeated with a sigh.
Killua had scarfed his down in five seconds flat and turned to me cheekily. "Hey, Risumi onee-chan. Can I have a bite of yours?" I gave him a look. He was going to eat it all, I just knew it.
"Yeah fine." I handed him my egg. He looked a little surprised but took it happily. Damn, I should have gotten two.
"Here." Kurapika said. He held his egg out to me, not meeting my eyes. "Have some."
I smiled up at him. "Sure."
