Author Notes: Thank you for you reviews! I feel so humble when I get them and to know that you take time out of your schedules to read my stories well…I just wanna say thanks! LOVES!
Chivalry Is Dead!
Chapter Two
"Well…This Sucks."
Penguins, Madagascar
Poor, poor Molly. Kidnapped by a royal idiot. How do you allow that to happen to yourself? Get kidnapped by an idiot…I mean REALLY! It's Jack Spicer! Anyway…on with the story…(seriously though…JACK SPICER! He can barely find his pants in the morning! She must really be stupid…)
Jack's House, 5:24 p.m.
Jack and Wuya
"I HAVE TO WHAT? ARE YOU MAD WOMAN?"
Wuya rubbed the spit off her face. "Yes, Jack, you must actually HAVE some mouth to mouth contact with a member of the opposite sex. I know it must be hard for you to believe that it's possible, considering you've never had eye contact with a girl without her pulling out mace."
Jack crossed his arms. "That's so not fair! I've seen Kimiko!"
"She doesn't count," Wuya said. "That girl is less girl and more of a maneater."
"You mean she's lesbian?" Jack squealed getting excited. Or, as excited, as he could get. Which isn't very, all considering.
Wuya sighed. Who would've thought her plans for world domination were doomed because her henchmen couldn't make a move? No, actually, he could. But it usually ended in a woman shocked from horror, and a lawsuit.
Well, at least it's something!
Jack's Lair, 7:24 p.m.
Molly
Uuuuuurgh. I felt smashed.
It wasn't even the good kind of smashed, either. Ohhhhhh no. Definitely can't be the kind of smashed where you've been out laughing with your friends all night and have a great time. That'd actually mean something was going right in my life. Couldn't have that now, could we? It's like the eleventh commandment: THOU SHALT NOT GIVETH MOLLY A FREAKIN' BREAKTH!
I am a prisoner of my own self being.
And now, I am a prisoner of a boy who thinks he is actually smart. (Newsflash: smart people do not break into an apartment window in the middle of the day. Nor do they were black coats in the middle of Florida afternoon.) But there is hope still! I'm sure at any moment now Italy will notice I am missing and phone the police.
Unless Italy has could care less that I'm gone…
Drat. I'm screwed. (Perhaps, literally.)
I pick myself off the cold hard metal (hmmm I guess Jack: Evil Genius doesn't know where or what a MATRESS is), and look around. Two words came to mind: interior decorator. Desperately. Unless he was going for the freakishly bland 'I have absolutely NO life' look then kudos to him. He's got it down to a T. What a great way to pick up the ladies. NOT.
As if on cue the red haired crow AKA Jack Spicer emerged from the darkness. He asked, "Do you like it? It's my evil lair."
"You call your basement a lair?" I spat. "Who are you…Dr. No?" No doubt he had ZERO idea who I was talking about.
(Neither did I, but that's not the point.)
Crow boy glared like a two year old. "I'll have you know I spent a good portion of my life building this work of art!"
"No doubt you did," I muttered.
"Yes," He said proudly (proudly? He's proud of this crap?) "I did. And now I have something ELSE to show you!"
Suddenly I felt very faint and with good reason. "J-Jack wait!" I screamed, as he leaned forward puckering up his lips. I don't think the cold sore on his lip was what he wanted to show me. I HOPE not.
"Jack…" I stuttered. "Really now. Couldn't you give me a minute to uhm…rest?"
"Really?" he squealed. "You mean you'll actually consider making out with me?"
I'm going to regret this dearly. "Yeah…sure. Just let me rest a little. Actually, I'm feeling a bit thirsty, and making out with a parched tongue is no fun, so could you get me a Ginger Ale and Cosmo mag?"
Jack, with a certain smug glee, snapped his fingers. Instantly two of his robot droids came, one with the soda, and the other with the Cosmo.
(Ok. Is just me or does anyone else find it creepy that Jack's robots carry Cosmos?)
"I'll be back soon, my sweet Mandy!" Jack swooned.
"It's Molly." I corrected. Boy Genius shrugged his shoulders.
I opened the Cosmo. This is not going to end well. (Not for me anyway. Jack'll probably have the time of his life sucking my soul with his sore covered lips.)
(Ugh I don't even want to think about it.)
(Too late.)
Xiaolin Temple, 9:45 p.m.
Xiaolin Warriors
Raimundo was rejoicing.
"We have to kiss a girl?" Rai rejoiced. "This is the best Shen Gan Wu EVER!"
Kimiko glared. "Why can't we just use the Serpent's Tail to get it out of her, master Fung?"
"In order to protect itself after being eaten, the Shen Gan Wu must've dispersed itself into a form of energy," The wise man explained. "So, the Wu itself is not actually there, but the energy of it is. In order to make it whole again the barer must experience an intense emotion."
"Such as kissing?" Omi asked.
"Kissing is not an emotion young monk." Master Fung said. "But the feeling with it is. One of you must woo (sp?) it out of her."
"Dojo laughed. "Woo it out of her! Good one Master Fung!"
"I try," the master shrugged.
Omi jumped up. "I shall be the one to retrieve the Wu Master Fung! She will be most impressed with my Lotus Strike and quiet intensity!" At this, he waggled his eyebrows.
"Oooook," Kimiko sighed, "Omi is out of the game…"
"But I!"
"….And I can't do it obviously so that leaves…"
"ME!" Raimundo shouted, jumping forward and flexing his…ah…muscles.
Kimiko was miffed. "Uh, Hello? What about Clay?"
"What about me?" Omi cried.
Raimundo laughed. "Puh-lease. We can't risk it with Clay; he's too old fashioned. Besides, no beautiful girl can resist me."
"Oh?" Kimiko asked dryly. "And what am I?"
Rai blushed. "Uhmmm…average?"
"Some charm," Kimiko huffed, walking off.
Omi waved his hand up frantically. "I have charm! Pick me!"
Master Fung came forward. "Raimundo, since you feel you are so ready, I'll give you the Tiger Claws. Remember: the fate of the world rests on your shoulders."
"Not my shoulders Master Fung," Rai smirked, "my manliness. TIGER CLAWS!"
Master Fung sighed and left the room. Omi just stood there.
"It seems I have a flaw with women," he realized. "I must reflect upon this!"
So Omi went to reflect his flaw with women. Good luck with that!
Will Rai woo Molly? Is Kimiko Jealous? Can Omi find the secret of women? And what about Clay? Is his pride broken?
Molly: Here's a question: is Jack gay?
Jack: WHAT? I am SO not gay!
Molly: Just keep telling yourself that Jack…
