Story: Melancholia, Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Y'all it's been forever since I wrote anything for this fanfic, I'm so sorry. I've been going through a lot over the past year. I've been dealing with grief, moved to another city, court (because some guy raped me), got developed with Arthritis and I've also started school and working again. I'm actually on a leave of absence right now.

I PROMISE I'LL RESPOND TO EVERYBODY'S REVIEWS SOON ENOUGH

Also, I hope y'all didn't mind me inserting a little headcanon of mine that Sasuke likes to read some manga on the side and since Kishimoto considers Toriyama his idol, I figured why not make Dragon Ball the subject of the conversation between Sasuke and Naruto? I recently caught up with Dragon Ball actually, so I sorta recommend it, it's actually not that bad.

THAT SAID. The comparison between Vegeta and Sasuke, is uh… I'm not sure if it's appropriate, but I based it sorta on personal experiences, because even me and my autistic self, I've clung to characters before based on the loss of loved ones and other personal experiences. For example, I relate to Naruto and wish I had a father figure like Iruka in my life as somebody who lost my father at a really young age(Sure I had one but I never had the chance to be close to him, so it was a lot like not having a father growing up). Recently I even cried on the scene after the massacre where Sasuke looked at the place where that one old lady used to greet him at before he came home to an empty house and broke down. It struck a cord with me because it reminded me of the loss of my grandma. I don't know if I've cried before on that scene but it really hit me hard this time because I knew that feeling.

In Sasuke and Naruto's cases, I think it would be totally normal and okay for kids to have fictional characters they cling to, but let me know what y'all think, I can change it up if y'all think it's a bit odd.

Anyways, enjoy!

"Okay, you can go back now, Sasuke-kun. I'm sorry for making you wait so long…"

Sasuke looked up to see his pink haired teammate standing in front of him with a slightly guilty look on her face.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He said simply, getting up.

"Well, I'm going to train with Hokage-sama in a little while, so I should go. I'll see you later." Sakura waved a bit, heading to the front door.

"Yeah..." Sasuke said, getting up, and heading over to ask the attendants what room Naruto was in. Due to it apparently being in a different section of the building than normal, a nurse chose to show him the way.

Upon entering Naruto's room, he met face to face with his blonde teammate, who looked a bit startled by his appearance. "S-Sasuke…!?"

"What's wrong? You seem surprised to see me…" Sasuke rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, nobody told me you would be coming here." Naruto muttered.

"Do you have a problem with it? If you want me to leave, I will." Sasuke offered simply.

"No, it's not like that… I just…" Naruto fidgeted nervously. "After what happened the other day, I wasn't even sure if you wanted to be around me anymore, let alone talk to me…"

"Tch, I'm here, aren't I…? So what are you worrying for…?" Sasuke looked away with a light blush on his face. "…Usuratonkachi."

Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit of relief at hearing Sasuke's attempt at reassurance. Putting his hands in his pockets, Sasuke sat down beside him on the chair that Sakura had been sitting in earlier.

"So how are you feeling…?" Sasuke glanced over at him.

"...What, you mean like right now?" Naruto asked. "Honestly, I can't stand it here, just sitting around and doing nothing all day… I've always hated hospitals… And some of the nurses and doctors have been really rude to me before." Naruto said, clutching at the hospital blanket. "Maybe they haven't done anything this time because Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei have been with me. Still, I've kinda been on edge ever since I came here…"

Iruka, who had been wordlessly observing them, couldn't help but be slightly concerned over what he had just said. Experiencing hostility from nurses would be more than enough reason to not want to come back to a place, for any person, really.

"What kinds of things have the nurses and doctors done to make you so uncomfortable, Naruto?" He asked.

"Well, usually it's things like pretending to 'accidentally' drop meals or spilling hot drinks on me, but there's been a few occasions that they would carelessly stick me with needless when they were drawing blood and they did it everywhere except the spot I told them to." Naruto said bitterly. "This one lady was especially hateful, she wouldn't even listen to me when I tried to talk to her, so she jabbed me about 6 times before finally doing it in my left arm where I'd told her to. Afterwards, I was really bruised because of it. I swear, people like that annoy the crap out of me. If they hate their job so much then give it to somebody else who will at least pretend to care."

"Hmph... For once, I have to agree with you. I don't like the staff here anymore than you do. They're annoying." Sasuke said simply. He too had his own reasons, but the behavior varied much more. Some nurses had gotten somewhat flirty with him before, which not only pissed him off but also made him more uncomfortable than he'd like to admit. The other looks he received usually ranged anywhere from pity to fear, similar to how he had seen Shinobi treat members of the Uchiha clan members before.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Naruto. They shouldn't have acted that way, especially not to a patient." Iruka said. "Is that why you hate needles so much?"

Naruto fidgeted with the red marker in his hand as he thought about it. "Well, I mean… not exactly… I never liked shots before either, but I guess my fear of them has gotten a bit worse since then."

"I see…" Iruka noted.

Sasuke studied the red marks on Naruto's skin. "So what's with your arms? You must be pretty bored to be drawing on yourself."

"Oh, uh… this…? It's nothing… I just…" Naruto unintentionally stammered, losing the resolve to answer.

"Well, it's a sort of coping mechanism that he's trying to work on. We're figuring out what might help him with the urges." Iruka spoke up for him, deciding it would be better that Sasuke knew.

"Yeah, that…" Naruto felt his face heat up, worried that Sasuke would tease or berate him over it. But he didn't. Instead, the Uchiha seemed pretty content with the explanation overall.

"Is that so." He responded with ease.

For a long time, neither one of them spoke. A stuffy silence had filled the room, making it overwhelming awkward between them. Iruka wasn't fairing much better, debating if he should say something to break the silence.

That's when Iruka remembered something. "Hey, Sasuke, do you ever read manga?"

Any conversation starter would be better than none at this point, and, fortunately, Naruto's interest seemed peaked at the very least.

"...Yeah, but mostly when I was younger." Sasuke seemed taken aback by the question, but complied nonetheless. "My father didn't really like me engaging in activities he considered counterproductive to my training, but my brother would sometimes pick up manga from the library and bring them home with him for me to read without his knowledge. Why do you ask…?"

It was strange for him speak about Itachi without animosity in his voice, so a part of it even surprised Sasuke himself. Unfortunately, even with good memories, negative ones soon followed, leaving him feeling bitter and wishing things could have stayed that way. But they couldn't. What had been taken from him… it could never be gotten back.

"Because Naruto loves manga." Iruka's voice reminded him of his surroundings, making him realize he'd got lost in thought. "Why don't you tell each other your favorite one?"

The man smiled, hoping this would get them to converse.

"...I like Dragon Ball…" Sasuke mumbled, feeling his face heat up a bit. He wasn't used to talking about these kinds of things, least of all with Naruto. For that matter, would his choice of manga be seen as lame because of how popular and mainstream it was?

"Really?! Dragon Ball is my favorite one too!" Naruto exclaimed, startling Sasuke by how amped up he suddenly was. "Shikamaru and Chouji thought it was a bit lame because of how generic the plot was, but none of that matters to me, ya know! The characters are all I care about! So who's your favorite?"

"It's Vegeta…" Sasuke mumbled.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Now that you mention it, I always thought you kind of reminded me of him…" Naruto observed.

"I guess I did relate to him some…" Sasuke looked away, a forlorn expression on his face.

"Why? Is it because of your clan?" Naruto took a wild guess out of curiosity but also not wanting to offend him or anything.

Iruka, with his limited memory of reading bits and pieces of Dragon Ball, could immediately take a guess why. The Saiyans were a race of warriors whose planet had been obliterated by a tyrant known as Frieza, their race all but wiped out, minus for a few Saiyans that were off planet at the time.

When reading manga or books, it really wasn't all that unusual for a child to cling to characters they shared similar experiences with. Even he'd found himself relating to fictional characters before as well.

That said, making such a comparison to a fictional character over something like this could be considered really offensive if it were anybody else. But this was Naruto, he didn't always know when to draw that line. Fortunately, Sasuke didn't seem all that bothered by the question, minus for the bad memories it brought up.

"...Yeah, but also..." Sasuke mumbled. It wasn't just that.

Vegeta's rivalry with Goku and his desire to surpass the other Saiyan had fascinated him ever since he was a little kid. While many kids tended to lean more towards favoring Goku, as he was usually revered as the strongest, Sasuke had always been rooting for Vegeta to finally get his chance at victory. Mikoto had even chuckled a bit at how amped up Sasuke had gotten when Vegeta finally went Super Saiyan for the first time.

Vegeta always gave his all to keep up with Goku and, maybe it was due to Fugaku's constant pressure on him to be just like Itachi at the time, but that was something that resonated with young Sasuke, who had always had his own insecurities in wanting to catch up to his brother, the same feeling that later also repeated itself with Naruto.

And yet… he would probably be teased over it if he said that.

"Forget it." He said before smirking a bit. "Let me guess… Naruto, your favorite is Goku, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I also really like Piccolo for some reason. He's funny." Naruto snickered a bit before whispering into Sasuke's ear. "And just between you and me, he reminds me a bit of Iruka-sensei."

Truthfully, Naruto did sort of see himself in Goku as another orphan who didn't always follow social regulations, but something about Piccolo's fatherly bond with Gohan had really drawn him in.

"Piccolo, huh…? I see what you mean…" Sasuke couldn't help but snort a bit at the comparison. Similar to Piccolo, Iruka was strict and had a no-nonsense approach to his teaching methods, but he was also supportive and kind when it came down to it. Sasuke had looked up to him ever since childhood, and whether it was a subconscious choice or not, he was the only person he ever called sensei.

Iruka knew they were talking about him, but seeing Naruto smiling again was enough to let it slide.

"Back in the academy, I used to skip classes with Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba a lot just to read the latest volumes." Naruto reminisced, before pouting. "Iruka-sensei always ended up giving us a lecture over it, though."

"Hmph, no wonder you got held back three years in a row over the kage bunshin no jutsu, dobe…."

"It's not my fault that h-" Naruto started to argue, but before he could say what he what he wanted to, the door was slipped open and Shikamaru stepped in, surprising Naruto a bit.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei, the Godaime sent me here to tell you to go home and get some rest since you've been here all night. She wants me to cover for you in the meantime." Shikamaru informed him.

"Oh, alright. I am getting a little tired. Does she want me to come back again tonight then?" Iruka wanted to know.

"Yeah, if you could. If not, it's whatever. I'll just stay with him until tomorrow." Shikamaru offered, encouraging him to get whatever amount of sleep he needed. "I told her Kakashi-sensei would be a better choice to have instead, but she insisted it be me. I'm not sure why, but she seemed pretty adamant about it…"

"Hm… That is kind of odd… Well, thank you for agreeing to look after him, either way." Iruka said as he got up.

"Don't mention it. It's no problem, really." Shikamaru smiled a bit.

"I guess I'll be back later, Naruto. You'll be okay here, right?" Iruka asked. He was truthfully a bit hesitant about leaving the boy's side, but Shikamaru was a chuunin now. He was more than capable of handling himself for something like this.

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Iruka-sensei." Naruto had expected Kakashi to come back by, not Shikamaru. Still, he couldn't complain too much.

"Take care of yourselves." Iruka said, before leaving the room.

Now it was just Shikamaru, Naruto and Sasuke. Shikamaru took a moment to sit in the now vacant seat.

"I think I should go as well." Sasuke said, suddenly feeling as though he would be intruding if he stayed. Shikamaru probably had some questions he wanted to ask Naruto, anyways.

Besides, even though Sasuke still wanted to get more answers from him, he was worried that putting pressure on him right now would make things worse than they already were or just upset him. The topic of the villagers could wait until Naruto was ready.

"Ah. Okay."

"Actually… Before I leave, there's something I wanted to ask you first." Sasuke started to speak back up with a bit of hesitation. "Earlier, I gave Sakura some dumplings before she came back here. Do you… know if she ate them?"

"Dumplings…? Oh, uh… No…, Sakura-chan said she was on a diet so she gave them to me…" Naruto said, only now realizing where Sakura had gotten them from.

"Tch. I figured as much..." Sasuke felt a bit of frustration at hearing that, letting himself out of the room after that.

"A diet…?" Shikamaru inwardly scoffed, briefly thinking about Ino. "Just what is it with girls and their obsession with losing weight…?"

Then again, from what he'd heard from Ino, even she seemed to have some pretty noteworthy concerns about Sakura's appearance, which was saying a lot coming from her.

Leaning back in his chair and locking his hands together behind his head, he turned his attention back to Naruto, who hadn't said anything since Sasuke left the room.

"The Godaime told me what happened. I already had a general idea of the situation from what Sakura said yesterday, but I didn't expect to get put in charge of watching over you… Not that I have a problem with it, of course. Just between you and me, this is more my kind of mission." Shikamaru smirked a bit, hoping it would offer some reassurance. And it wasn't a lie, the boy would take any opportunity he could just to sit down, he hadn't had a break for a while.

"What all did they say to you…?" Naruto mumbled.

"Nothing much to be honest, just that you'd been hurting yourself, and the Godaime mentioned that it had something to do with the villagers, but she didn't really specify what it was. I think she was probably hoping that I would get you to open up to me about it, but I'm not really the type of guy who likes prying into people's personal business… Just know if you wanna talk or something, I'll be here, alright?"

For a long time, Naruto didn't respond, silence filling the room, until finally he spoke back up.

"Nee, Shikamaru…?" He felt his throat tighten up and without thinking about it he started rubbing his thumb over his wrist where he'd drawn on himself earlier.

Shikamaru chose to ignore it as long as he didn't start using his nails.

"Hm…?" He inquired.

"...Do you… think there's something wrong with me…?" Naruto asked in a low voice, wanting to get an idea of how the other boy actually felt about this whole situation; What he thought of him for doing such a thing.

Shikamaru gave him a moment to continue speaking if he was going to. Naruto, however, didn't say anything further, so Shikamaru took that as a go-ahead to answer his question.

"Is this about you cutting yourself?" Shikamaru already had an idea of what Naruto was referring to, but had to be sure.

Naruto gave a small nod of confirmation, unable to look him in the eye.

"No, I don't." Shikamaru said simply. "While I don't really like the idea of self-harm as a coping mechanism, it's not like I'm gonna say you're crazy for it or anything. Besides, I've seen the way this village treats you, Naruto, so I figured you must have a reason for it."

Shikamaru had a rather laid back personality and the ability to remain impartial on a lot of things attitude wise. As such, he usually tried to avoid digging into people's personal affairs, which always made him fairly easy to get along with in situations like this.

Perhaps that was why, at that moment, Naruto wanted to trust him.

He wanted to tell somebody.

He needed to.

About fifteen minutes passed before he finally gathered the courage to speak again.

"...Can I… tell you something…? It's um… kind of personal…" he mumbled weakly, still a bit reluctant.

"Yeah, just try not to stress yourself out too much, alright…?" Shikamaru said, feeling Naruto's tone was a bit concerning. "I kinda get the feeling you're not quite ready to talk about it yet."

"...It's not that." Naruto insisted. Tsunade and Iruka already knew. Sakura probably had an idea. He couldn't even say it was a secret anymore or something only he knew. So what was the problem? "I'm guess I'm just afraid what you and some of the others would think of me if you knew..."

"Knew what?" Shikamaru inquired.

"I… Just forget it… 's nothing." Naruto murmured, but started scratching at his wrist without thinking about it. Shikamaru, who had moved over to the seat next to Naruto's bedside, grabbed his hands to stop him, not wanting to take any risks.

"Look, Naruto…" His voice wavered more than he intended, but he couldn't help it. Naruto was seriously worrying him right now. "I'm not gonna pressure you to talk if you don't want to, but whatever this is about, I promise you can tell me. I'm not gonna judge you…"

At hearing that, Naruto tried his best to relax as Shikamaru's hand helped to keep him grounded. Unfortunately it only provided so much comfort when confronted with the memories of his past again.

"It's about some of the villagers… They sometimes touch me… and make me do things I don't want to… And recently, they…" Naruto had to gather every ounce of his willpower to finally say it, but in doing so, he felt dirty. Even talking about this stuff caused his face to heat up in shame. He couldn't even bring himself to finish the initial sentence. "I can't stand it… It's like… every time it happens, my body… it just freezes up and I can't do anything to stop it from happening. I hate it… I hate being this way…"

Before he realized it, his breathing was becoming erratic, and he had went off into a tangent, pulling his hand loose to dig into his neck. Everything he had been bottling up rose to the surface at once.

"Hey, it's okay… Just calm down." Shikamaru encouraged him, reaching back out and plying his nails away from his skin for the second time. Unfortunately, Naruto refused to cooperate at first, causing him to have to tighten his grip. "Stop that... I'm willing to listen, but I can't let you hurt yourself."

Shikamaru didn't want to use his shadows over something like this, but it was possible that he would end up being left with no choice if Naruto continued trying to scratch himself.

Fortunately, however, Naruto's finally seemed to relax again, but Shikamaru still didn't feel comfortable letting go just yet.

Naruto remained silent, giving Shikamaru to speak back up.

"...Naruto, these people you're talking about… Did they… rape you…?" Shikamaru felt a sick sense of helplessness as soon as the words came out of his mouth. This was, no doubt, the hardest thing he'd ever had to ask somebody before.

Naruto's lack of response was all the confirmation Shikamaru needed to confirm his suspicions.

A/N: Sorry I only focused on Naruto's side of the story for this one, but I hope y'all enjoyed it. I haven't written much for Shikamaru so I was constantly questioning dialogue that I had and rearranging stuff etc. I hope to get back into Sakura and Sasuke more next chapter. I was originally gonna have Sasuke ask Naruto about some things again, but I decided against it because I still have a plan yet for that, and as of right now, he's still trying to respect Naruto's recovery and a certain part of him was worried that he might make things worse by pressuring him to talk right away.