Teleporting wasn't as harsh the second time. Still jarring, but he was able to keep his feet— structurally, only his knees wobbled precariously before remembering their purpose. His stomach took a few moments longer to settle, but at least it didn't try to jump up his throat and out of his mouth.

"Hey, you're still standing!" Navi flitted out to say. "I told you it just took some getting used to."

"Yeah, yeah," he allowed, looking around himself. He'd landed on the Sheikah disc facing the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab, as intended, but instead of heading inside, he walked around the back of the building to see just how close to the sea he was.

The Blue Fire danced a happy jig in its enclosure as he passed the Ancient furnace, the whole structure pulsing steadily with blue light and power. Just beyond the corner of the building was what was obviously intended to be a garden but currently only housed overgrown grass. And just beyond that, the land just… stopped.

The Lab sat at the end of the climbing, spiral hill on what amounted to an elliptical cliff, the grass giving way to open air and a severe drop several rocky stories to the sea below on this side. As he stood looking out, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and looked down to see birds making their winding circles along the coast, looking for food.

His gaze landed on the tiny Tenoko Island— a barely-noticeable speck from where the Shadow stood— situated about half the distance to Eventide Island, Koholit Rock keeping its towering watch at the southeastern-most tip. He thought about his visit to Zora's Domain while he let his focus slacken, taking in the picturesque scene laid out before him like a feast for the eyes.

"Navi, why was there a statue of Link there, of all places? I get that they'd be grateful to him and Mipha, but a statue seems excessive. And there were fresh flowers by it."

"Mipha and Champion Link married a few months after sealing Ganondorf away, and they lived together in a cabin in the Tabahl Woods until he passed of extreme old age."

"Huh." That explained that odd look that had crossed Dorephan's face when speaking of them. "How 'extreme' are we talking?"

"There was a huge party celebrating his one hundred and eleventh birthday a few months before he passed."

"Holy shit." One hundred and eleven.

"Indeed. The average Hylian only lives sixty or seventy years."

"Holy shit."

"Oh, it was an amazing party, too— the story of The Incident with the Dragon-Shaped Firework is still told to this day," Navi opined.

"What?"

"He died months later, though, so it's doubtful that that night factored into his death at all."

"'Doubtful'?"

"It is highly likely that he survived so long only due to the close physical and emotional bond he shared with Mipha, and his body had simply reached its limit."

"Hmm." He thought for a few moments. "Married, huh?" His nose scrunched up at her nod. "Well, that'll be awkward for both of us, I'm sure. If I find her." The alive went without saying.

"Probably." She paused for a moment. "You didn't even ask about a reward. Not very mercenary of you."

He shrugged. "I might be an asshole, but I'm not a total dick. Dorephan's a king, yes, but he's also a father worried about his children," he said, thinking of Anly, Ardin, and Cima. He didn't miss the way Navi's glow pinkened for a moment. "Don't say it."

"Say what? That's quite the glide," she deflected, looking out toward Eventide over the Necluda sea, the sun sparkling off its waves. They could see the darkness even from this distance; it was not a cloud so much as a dense, deep, grayish fog lying low over the island. The sun's rays seemed to just die when they reached it, unable to penetrate the thick haze.

"Yeah."

"What the Goddess Statue told you is eerily similar to what Calip said. About the Key and the light and the darkness."

"I noticed that, too." He sighed. "What do you suppose the odds are that I get out of this without having to pass the trial?"

"Not great."

"Yeah, that's what I figured, too. What can you tell me about it?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"What? Why? Didn't your last Link have to pass it?"

"No, he passed a different trial— three of them, actually— to earn the Master Sword."

"Oh. Well, shit," he lamented. Something else occurred to him. "Navi, how common is what that boy, Keye, had? Where he can't see color?" How many people will see me and think I look normal? he didn't ask.

"It's not as odd as you'd think, though it's more common in males than females, and it isn't always that someone is fully unable to see color. Sometimes they just can't tell certain colors apart, like red from brown or green from blue." She paused, twinkling closer to hover in front of his face, voice serious. "The fact that you are different makes you unique, Shadow Link. As annoying as you find it having to explain yourself, you still do it. You could just let everyone think that you're Link under some sort of spell, but you don't. You're… defiantly you, and I honestly kind of admire that. I wish more people had less pretenses."

"Huh. Uh, thanks." He didn't know what else to say, and he really wanted to ignore the warm glow in his chest he'd remembered to notice at her words, so he took a look behind him at the Lab, realizing just how tall its tower was, and spotted a detail he'd not seen from the front side of the building. Way up at the top of the tower, a moss-covered Guardian Stalker sat like an ugly hat, its legs dangling down the sides. Thick ropes anchored to sturdy posts wound around the ancient menace, tying it in place in what the Shadow felt was a rather risky display.

It did make a sort of sense, though, he supposed: the Guardians were undeniably advanced pieces of technology— a successful vision of what science could achieve… had they not been infected with malice and turned evil.

The Shadow tilted his head to the side as he stared at the building for a moment. The Guardian added nearly another half story on top of the already-imposing height of the Lab's tower. He turned to look back out at Eventide, then back up at the top of the Lab, trying to gauge how much distance climbing the tower would add to his glide.

"Hey! I see what you're thinking."

"I don't think there's any way I'll make it to Eventide, but I bet I'd be able to land on that little guy," he nodded at Tenoko.

Navi agreed, and they backtracked to the building. A set of stone steps wound up the outside of the tower, eventually becoming a spiraling wooden walkway that ended at a landing and the door to the uppermost room of the tower. Instead of going inside, though, he grabbed onto one of the dangling legs of the Guardian and climbed up to the top, using the hookshot when the moss made his grip unsure.

Standing atop the defunct Guardian on the roof of the highest room of the tallest peak in Hateno, the Shadow noticed an odd shimmer to the air in front of him. "What the hell?" he asked, reaching out his hand to touch the edge of the disturbance.

Immediately, the wooden maraca sound of a Korok filled the air around him and the little leaf-faced being popped into existence almost nose-to-shin with the Shadow. The little guy looked up at him and shook happily. "Ya-ha-ha! You found me!"

"I did," the Shadow agreed. "That's pretty clever, hiding yourself without a flower or pinwheel."

"Ha-ha, thank you! Hi, Fairy!" the Korok chirped, waving delightedly at Navi. Then it turned and tilted its head at the Shadow. "Have you only been looking for us under Korok flowers and pinwheels?"

"Uh… yes?" the Shadow answered, confused.

"You'll never find us all that way, silly!" the Korok laughed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" The Shadow had amassed quite the little collection of the strange little nuggets, he'd thought. Especially since he didn't really care about finding them.

"We also like patterns hidden in flowers or rocks, and some of us hide in the ends of hollow logs or under just random rocks or piles of boulders, and quite a few of us have little games—"

"Quite a few— How many of you are there?"

"Nine hundred."

"Nine fucking hundred?" He repeated, incredulous. He turned his head to look at Navi. "I'm not looking for nine hundred— no. Fuck that; that's insane. I'll get the ones directly in my path, but that's it."

Navi's eyes were huge as she halfheartedly stifled a laugh behind her hand.

"What's 'fuck'?" the curious little guy asked innocently, holding out his polished little dingleberry.

"Oh, Hylia," Navi sighed.

The Shadow smiled to himself as he took the Korok seed and stowed it in his pack with the rest. "Oh, 'fuck' is an incredibly versatile word that is useful in many ways and for almost every situation I've found myself in so far."

"I like it," the Korok said merrily. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking fuck!"

The Shadow made a sound that he could only think to describe as a cackle while Navi put both of her hands over her face and probably regretted every nice thing she'd ever said to and about him. He grabbed his glider and turned to face Eventide while the little Korok danced and repeatedly tried out his new favorite word in different tones, tenses, and voices. It was a little endearing and quite a bit funny.

The Korok stopped dancing to wave at them. "Bye! Tell Hestu that Kula says 'Fucking fuckity fuck-a-luck'!"

"You fucking bet," the Shadow agreed, unable to hold in a grin.

"Oh, Hylia," Navi chided, but her glow flickered suspiciously.

The Shadow snort-laughed as he looked out toward his destination, relaxed and ready. He took a deep breath, internal resolve solidifying, and jumped.


The glide, while as exhilarating as ever, was also largely uneventful— the most memorable moment being when one of the seabirds he'd seen earlier squawked indignantly at him, then circled back to do it again before moving on.

His assumption had been correct, and his foot set down exactly at the edge of Tenoko Island. He'd quite underestimated how long it would take to cross the distance— by the time he landed, he'd been in the air for over an hour, though his arms and shoulders were just beginning to feel the strain. He took a moment to smile down at the golden bracelet on his right arm before taking in the grassy little knuckle sticking out of the water he'd landed on.

Tenoko Island sported exactly one tree and a raft with a sail attached that had beached itself on the southern side, a full twenty seconds' walk away. The only thing remarkable about the island was how utterly unremarkable it was.

He focused on Eventide, still a fair distance away considering he couldn't rely on any craft to get there. A few menacing shapes cut back and forth, endlessly patrolling the water between the two islands.

He decided to take a break and eat before proceeding, the tiny island providing the perfect opportunity to center himself and relax a bit after the long glide. His stomach chose that moment to rumble angrily at him— he'd not had anything since he'd left his house, and that was just a small meal because he'd been leery of it coming up when he teleported. He sat and searched through his pack for one of the sandwiches he'd packed in there.

While the Shadow ate, Navi pulled out three bottles he'd seen in his cellar and which he'd certainly not put in his pack. "Mighty Elixir to improve your attack force, Tough Elixir for added natural defense, and Sneaky Elixir to improve your stealth," she explained as she pointed to each one. "I was hoping we'd run across another Fairy to keep in a bottle, but so far we haven't been anywhere they're likely to be."

"Do they just roam around Hyrule?" He'd assumed he'd have to visit Cotera again to obtain another.

"You can almost always find them in the enchanted areas around the four Great Fairies, near the Great Deku Tree deep in the Lost Woods, and a few other areas they seem to like."

"There are four Great Fairies?"

"Yes. You've met Cotera already. Mija resides in Akkala, to the north of Kaepora Pass; Kaysa makes her home in Tabantha, not far from the Sheikah Tower there; and Tera is way out in the Gerudo Desert."

"Huh. I'm sure it'll surprise you that I didn't know that."

"Shocked, I tell you."

He smiled, then gestured to the elixir bottles. "How long do they work for?"

"It depends on the ingredients used to mix them, but anywhere from ten to thirty minutes."

He frowned. "That's not very long."

"No, but they're quite effective for the duration. I suggest waiting until just before you reach the island before taking one, just in case."

"Just one? I can't take all three?"

"No, you can only enhance one attribute at a time."

"Figures," he sighed. "So I have to choose attack, defense, or stealth. Well, that's not difficult— I have my sword and the Power Bracelet, so I wouldn't choose attack," Navi helpfully put that bottle back in the pack. "Same with defense," he continued, "I have my shield, so I'm covered there. That leaves stealth."

Navi put the Tough Elixir back in the bag, too, then shrank the bottle of Sneaky Elixir for the Shadow to stow in his pocket.

He took a deep breath as he looked out over the monster-infested water between where he was and where he was headed. A movement in the corner of his eye drew his gaze much closer and to the left. Not far from the shore, an Octorok lurked, decoy reeds waving in the breeze— which usually worked well in rivers and inland lakes but felt almost comically out of place in the open sea.

He took careful aim with the hookshot and a few moments later there was a satisfying puff of black-and-purple smoke. A quick scan revealed no further floating assholes nearby so he pressed the Cryonis rune on his belt twice, watched the blue pillar form in front of him, and set out.

It was slower than he'd like, crawling to the top of the first ice column, pressing the button twice to form another in front of him, then jumping to it, pressing the button twice more, repeat, repeat, repeat. Twice he had to cease forward progress in order to destroy the patrolling monsters that turned out to be Lizalfos. He destroyed the first one he came across with the hookshot, but the second two— who were circling mindlessly like binary stars around an invisible gravitational center— he pulled out the Sheikah Slate and directed the Cryonis beam directly at them to freeze them and then hit them with the hookshot, just for a little variety.

By the time he drew near Eventide, the sun was just a thin band at the edge of the horizon, throwing long fingers of orange, pink, and purple out into the sky over Hyrule. The odd darkness over the island had not cleared at all with increased proximity, disproving the notion of it being a simple low-lying fog as it had appeared from afar. It wasn't that the details of the island were obscured by a dense cloud, it was more like a constant twilight had settled there, blanketing everything in long shadows.

A short distance from the shore, a group of six rocks jutted up out of the water with a seventh a smidge closer to the island. The Shadow alighted on a long, flat rock and squatted down behind the natural ledge there, observing the island quietly for a few minutes.

Seeing no movement whatsoever, his eye was drawn to his left and the offset rock that didn't look like the rest of them, appearing unnaturally flat from his vantage point. Interest piqued, the Shadow jumped into the water without thinking and headed for that one, only realizing after a few strokes that swimming had come as naturally to him as breathing. Reaching the odd rock a short time later, he climbed up onto it and saw that it appeared to be a huge Sheikah disc, but in addition to being much larger than the other two he'd seen and used, this one also had a decent-sized, perfectly rounded, half-spherical indentation in the center of it, like a receptacle for something big and round. The structure was glowing orange, the way the Sheikah Towers had before he'd lit the furnace. He frowned at it. "What do you think this is for?" He looked at the island, a scant few feet away, and wondered if this had to do with the trial. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck was suddenly standing at attention.

"I think there's probably only one way to find out."

He sighed. "I thought you'd say that." He reached into his pocket and removed the bottle of Sneaky Elixir he'd stowed there. "Time for the stealth juice."

"Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be just fine."

"Yeah." He sighed. "Well, here we go," he said, and drained the bottle. He instantly regretted allowing the foul substance to touch his tongue, his face making some sort of expression that pulled a laugh from Navi but immediately after that, a tingle ran through every nerve ending in his body, intense at first, then waning to a low-level thrum he could feel just under his skin. "Ooh."

"What does it feel like?"

"Like… a whisper just under the surface," he tried, his left hand hovering just above his right forearm and wiggling slightly. He was sure he wasn't making it clear but lacked the vocabulary to do any better.

She seemed to understand, though, as she just looked expectantly at him. "Ready?"

He snorted. "No. But here we are, anyway."

"I'm right here with you, no matter what," she assured, coming close to pat his shoulder reassuringly before retreating to hover at his shoulder. "Let's go."

He sighed once more before nodding in agreement and jumping down into the water, making almost no sound as he did so. He only had to swim three strokes before the sand was suddenly there, under his knee. He stood and walked out of the water and onto the shore of Eventide Island.

The instant his trailing foot left the sea, everything seemed to stop. The ambient birdsong cut off, no breeze rustled the leaves on the trees, the waves stilled on the beach.

He suddenly became aware of the softness of sand under his feet and in between his toes at the same time as he noticed a coolness across his shoulders and down his legs. He looked down to find… nothing. Only his undershorts and a utility belt remained, both of the pouches on it— one large, one small— empty. His back was bare but for a leather strap fastened crossways over his chest; all his weapons and his shield were gone, the Sheikah Slate and runes, even his wrists were naked— both the hookshot and Power Bracelet nowhere to be seen; same with his hat, and—

"Navi?"


The Shadow didn't even have time to look around for his missing Companion Fairy when a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once intoned, "To you (you) -ave traveled (traveled) t-to this islaaand (island)." It reminded him distantly of Farore's bell-voice, but it was muffled and distorted, the words skipping, stretching, and echoing oddly in the too-still air, "I pre-ent you wii- chal-challenge (challenge). In your -vels, yoou've relied on theeeequipment (equipment) you've -ound a-a-along the way (way)." The Shadow found himself squinting, some errant instinct telling him he'd be able to hear better that way as he struggled to make sense of the message. "Here (here), yooou must-ust cast (cast) this equ-ent asi–i-ide -nd face this trial (trial) with only yourrr wits (wits) and what- yoou caan scavenge (scavenge). Offer (offer) up the orb-orbs to the threeee al-ars (altars) on this island (island). Only -en will I acknowle- -ur ski-ski-skill and rreturrrn your items (items)."

"Fuck. I fucking knew it." He immediately missed Navi's snarky response and felt his mood dip. He sighed, thinking over the stilted message and wondering if the odd halflight had somehow interfered with the trial, which led to wondering how the rest of it would be affected. "Fuck. Should've picked the Tough Elixir, I guess," he lamented, looking down at his mostly-bare skin. He sighed in frustration, trying to let it out and calm himself, gather the wits he'd been warned he'd need. "Okay."

He looked behind him at the odd Sheikah disc with the precise hole in the center of it that he'd stood on minutes before and put the pieces together. "Okay, so somewhere on this island there are two more of those altar things and three orbs to put in them. Shouldn't be too hard, right?"

What the Shadow presumed were the normal sounds of the island at sunset had resumed once the disembodied voice had finished speaking, waves picking up their endless ebb and flow and the warm breeze caressing his bare skin. Looking back toward the island, he tried to remember its features from the map. He was currently at the northernmost point of the triangle that made up Eventide. Toronbo Beach stretched away to his right; to the left the sand ended fairly quickly at a stand of trees backed by rocks, while directly in front of him was what quickly became a dense, hilly forest.

His attention was drawn down the north side of the island, where a small torch had suddenly sparked to life. The Shadow frowned, crouching down to avoid being spotted as he moved inland enough to slide behind a tree. After a few minutes, he'd seen no other movement, so he decided to get a closer look.

He took a step and immediately heard an earthy, snarling sound as the reanimated skeleton of a Bokoblin emerged from the sand a short distance away. He immediately reached back to grab his sword— and his hand grasped empty air. "Fuck!"

He didn't have time for anything else as the Stalkoblin raised its wooden club and started bringing it down, heading directly for the Shadow's skull. He dove out of the way, rolling back to his feet and looking around for something to use as a weapon.

He spotted a tree branch on the ground and sprinted over to pick it up. It felt good and sturdy in his hand, and he gave an experimental swing to test its heft and reach. Not bad. He turned back to find the Stalkoblin nearly upon him again, so he drew back his stick, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

The zombie skeleton struck at him and he took his chance, swinging with all the force he could muster and striking it in its skull, which fell right off and went rolling a short distance as the rest of the body crumpled where it stood, nothing more than a pile of bones on the sand. To his astonishment, the head turned itself upright and its lidless, beady red eyes winked disturbingly at him before beginning to roll back toward its body.

The Shadow thwacked the head again, this time eliciting a puff of purple-and-black smoke. He nodded to himself, then examined the stick for cracks. Finding none, he patted it fondly and slid it under the strap on his back like a sword sliding into its scabbard (goddess, he missed his sword keenly; the solid weight of it at his back a reassurance he'd absolutely taken for granted).

The Stalkoblin had left behind not only the club it had been carrying, but also a confused arm, wiggling away grotesquely on the ground. He moved a few steps closer, but it didn't acknowledge him, just flopped away madly. Making a decision he'd possibly regret, he bent down to pick it up along with the Boko club, which he slid alongside the stick on his back. He held onto the disembodied skeleton arm, not entirely trusting it not to strangle him when his attention was elsewhere but wanting as many makeshift weapons as possible for whatever might lie ahead of him.

Staying low, holding his macabre weapon at the ready— it jiggled and wriggled awkwardly in his hand— he moved as quickly as he could from tree to tree along the beach, finding a few wild Hylian shrooms along the way that he stuffed into one of the pouches.

He made his way from tree to tree along the beach until he came to the torch stuck in the sand. It was near a huge boulder that hid who-knew-what behind it. Peeking out from behind a tree, the Shadow saw a campfire burning but no other movement. He crept forward to have a look on the other side of the boulder.

Three red Bokoblins danced near the fire, their movements jerky and sloppy, as if they were puppets not in control of their own limbs. Ostensibly, they watched several Hylian bass roast over the fire on Boko spears stuck in the sand but in reality, it didn't look like they were capable of even that— their faces were all oddly slack and their eyes vacant. They made no noises, either— in his experience, Bokoblins tended to snarl and grunt as their highest forms of communication at the best of times, but they were hardly ever silent while these three were eerily so.

The Shadow frowned to himself. Apart from the spears around the fire, there were two barrels of explosives helpfully placed by the lone tree and no other visible weapons in the camp. The Shadow could probably just pass by easily enough without a fight by slipping off into the woods, but he was intensely curious what was wrong with them, if the strange atmosphere had anything to do with it.

Looking out to sea, the Shadow could see that the sun had fully set, the sky beyond the island an inky purple-blue— above Eventide was presumably the same, but the semidarkness was so thick he couldn't see it. Curiously, all three monsters quite suddenly sat, then flopped down on their backs around the fire and began snoring softly.

The Shadow watched for a few moments, then crept around the boulder and toward the fire. He found a rusty shield lying half-buried in the sand on the way— much smaller than what he was used to, about half the size, but better than nothing. He slid it onto his left forearm, transferred the wiggling Stalkoblin arm to his left hand, then grabbed one of the spears and stuck one end of it into the coals, accidentally getting a tantalizing whiff of roasted fish as he did that made his mouth water even though he wasn't actually hungry.

After a few minutes, when the end of the spear finally caught fire and stayed lit, the Shadow grabbed it and retreated quickly and quietly back behind the boulder. He aimed carefully and threw the flaming spear at the barrels, striking the side of the nearest one and sending it crashing into the second.

The Shadow ducked down behind the boulder and dropped the arm in his hand to stick his fingers in his ears a split second before a deafening BOOM! shook the night. He watched the zombie arm latch onto his leg and shake feebly, suppressing a laugh as he removed his fingers from his ears and grabbed the persistent thing again. He heard an odd, gurgling hiss and peeked back around the boulder to see the three Bokoblins sitting up in confusion, looking at each other and then at the three black figures writhing on the ground next to them.

Vaguely humanoid in shape, they were a deep, charcoal gray striped with inky black, glowing red markings on their chests and backs, and thick, tentacle-like protuberances sprouting from both forehead and chin behind a flat mask carved in odd shapes.

One of the Bokoblins spent a few moments looking between the three dark shapes, itself, and its companions, growing visibly more outraged by the second as its two feeble brain cells worked overtime to put the pieces together. Once it finally got there, it shook its head, ears flopping madly, then ran forward and kicked the nearest creature repeatedly in the head until the thing snarled and dissipated in a puff of black smoke.

The other two Bokoblins looked at each other, grunted, then copied their compatriot's moves, celebrating their victory by jumping in the air and dancing, porcine heads wobbling excitedly. In the next moment, they again flopped down in the sand and started snoring peacefully.

The Shadow blinked. Then again, slower, just in case, and the three Bokoblins slept on. He huffed out a laugh and crept from around the boulder. He didn't hesitate, driving the relaxed fist of the wiggling Stalkoblin arm into the wide-open maw of the nearest Bokoblin mid-snore in an attempt to keep the noise to a minimum.

It mostly worked, only a phlegmy gurgle escaping the monster's ruined throat, sounding remarkably like the continuing snores of the remaining two as both monster and disembodied limb disintegrated in the customary puff of purple-and-black.

He smiled to himself as he moved to grab one of the spears by the fire and finish off the other two slumbering Bokoblins in the same fashion. Though the spear survived with no visible damage, he decided to put it on his back and grab another, having no idea what else the island held in wait.

Continuing up the beach, he came upon another lit torch, but no camp was nearby. Instead, there were two piles of Stalkoblin bones, nearly glowing in the odd light bathing the beach. He decided to try to avoid them and kept close to the water.

A soft, slightly-wet sound was the only warning he got as he spun, lifting the shield just in time to meet the projectile the Octorok in the sea had spat at him. The rock arced through the air to smack its originator in the face with a satisfying thwack. Two more of those took care of that enemy, but the commotion had disturbed the nearest of the Stalkoblin piles, which was now wielding a crude bow and aiming it directly at him.

The Shadow brought the shield up again just in time to deflect the arrow, letting out a squawked, "Fuck!" He readied the spear in his hand and rushed the skeleton, defeating it and quickly strapping the bow and quiver of about ten arrows to himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other Stalkoblin pile rise and reassemble itself, reaching down to grab a rock and throw it at the Shadow's head.

He raised the shield to deflect it and heard an ominous crack. "Fuck!" He raised his spear and knocked the bony skull off but when he went to destroy it, the spear cracked, too. "Fuck!"

He turned at the sound of another Stalkoblin materializing only to find two there and advancing on him, both reaching down to grab rocks to throw. The shield held against the first but broke at the second, cracking right in two pieces that knocked together as they dangled distractedly from his arm. "Fuck!"

Thinking quickly, he stuck one end of the cracked spear into the ground next to him, took one half of the broken shield off his arm, aimed carefully, and threw it at the closest skeleton. The head came off and rolled a good distance away, so he repeated the action with the second half of the shield and the other monster. He grabbed the spear and finished both Stalkoblins off, the spear giving another loud crack! as it bashed in the second skull.

The Shadow dropped the broken weapon and grabbed its unused twin from his back as he continued down the beach, which ended abruptly at a gigantic rock and a stand of trees. What really caught his attention, however, was the raft beached at the far end. Half-buried in the sand nearby lay an oar, which he grabbed and put on the raft.

An odd glint caught his eye, and he turned his head fully to see a rusty claymore lying between the raft and the rock. He reached down to grab it, storing the more skin-friendly wooden spear at his back before turning inland to explore the island.

A break in the foliage formed a natural path up and away from the beach, but the Shadow hadn't gotten very far along it when he spotted the hulking form of a blue Hinox slumbering over the crest of the small hill.

"Goddess fucking damn it!" he hissed to himself, ducking down behind the nearest tree as he felt the effects of the elixir finally wear off, tapering to an odd tingle and then fading to nothing. He poked his head around the trunk to take a longer look and was not at all surprised to see a large, orange sphere glowing from a cord around the monster's neck, along with two other weapons. Of fucking course there'd be a damned Hinox as part of the trial, he thought. At least it was asleep; sleeping monsters had proved to take several fewer hits to defeat, he'd noted.

He took stock of his weapons (a stick, a club, a spear, a bow and arrows, and a weathered claymore) and looked around the clearing for something else he could use as a weapon.

Finding nothing, he decided to follow the path off to the left and explore a little more, thinking there was bound to be more and better weapons somewhere for him to find and use. The trial wasn't impossible, after all, just difficult.

He kept to the trees but hadn't gone more than a few steps when a blob of fire with eyes popped up out of the ground and rolled menacingly at him, dropping little firelets as it went that quickly fizzled out.

Remembering his proximity to the sleeping Hinox, he kept his, "Holy shit!" to a whisper. He raced to the nearest tree and climbed it, stopping on a sturdy branch and looking down on the fire monster.

He grabbed the bow and an arrow, took careful aim, and was exceedingly glad he'd climbed the tree when the blob exploded, spraying everything nearby with fire. He waited a few minutes for it to burn itself out, then dropped to the ground and continued along the edge of the path, moving slowly and preparing himself for whatever the island decided to surprise him with next.

He hadn't gone far when the answer presented itself in the form of an entire Bokoblin camp, nestled in the valley between the woods to his left and Koholit Rock to the right. His breath escaped him in a huff as he moved farther into the woods, allowing the landscape to shield him from the monsters as he crept closer.

The Shadow climbed a tree at the top of the hill and looked down on the camp, taking stock. He could see that the camp consisted of two separate, raised platforms. The smaller and closer of the two was clearly a watchtower, with a lone red Bokoblin standing awkwardly in position as it turned every few seconds to look in a different cardinal direction.

The larger platform was currently occupied by one red and one blue Bokoblin, both snoring loudly in the odd twilight. It also held a wooden chest and two crates, along with the second glowing orange orb.

Of fucking course, the Shadow thought, rolling his eyes before forcing himself to think strategically. He would have to take out the lookout first, obviously, so it couldn't raise an alarm and rouse the others— it was possible that there were reserves somewhere he couldn't see.

That would have to wait, however, as three Keese came out of the forest to attack him. He swung the claymore in a wide arc, taking out all three at once before turning back to the Bokoblin encampment. He grabbed out the bow and an arrow, aimed carefully, and hit his target in the back of the head, knocking the Bokoblin off the platform with a loud yell to slam into the ground and knocking loose the shadow-beast that had been possessing it. The hiss it made was faint from where the Shadow stood.

The Bokoblin on the ground grunted in confusion at the eerie, silent monster; the Shadow wasted no time in shooting first the dark figure and then the Bokoblin in the head and watching both poof! out of existence.

The sleeping Bokoblins on the other platform had both leaped awake at the first yell, looking around in jerky, sloppy confusion for a few moments— neither looking toward the ground at all— before flopping back down and returning to their snores.

The Shadow snorted quietly to himself before reloading the bow and aiming for the closer of the two. He hit it as intended, knocking the shadow-figure free and waking the Bokoblin, which stared at the interloper for a second before grabbing a club and whacking away at it. Once victorious, the Bokoblin performed a joyous little jump in the air, then flopped down and resumed snoring, a little smile on its face.

The Shadow shook his head, amused, as he loaded another arrow and struck the Bokoblin a second time, obliterating it, then repeated the action, aiming for the lone remaining Bokoblin. He ended up hitting it in the ass, seeing as how it had been rude enough to fall asleep with its head away from him. As with the others, the first hit served to only knock loose the creature possessing it, anyway, but the blue Bokoblin, after destroying the shadow-beast, took a look around itself in a show of near-peak Bokoblin awareness.

It noticed that it was alone on the platform, shuffled over to the edge where its partner had been stationed, and looked down. Seeing nothing amiss, it shook its head, turned, and went back to its usual spot, plunked down— ass end toward the Shadow again— and went right back to sleep.

The Shadow huffed out a laugh, then made the decision to save the arrow and backtrack down the hill to use the ramp up to the platform and bash the fucker in the face with the claymore.

Once the smoke cleared, the quiet sounds of the island at night (in the strange twilight, anyway— the only way he knew it) returned, carrying with it no more Bokoblin snores. The Shadow nodded to himself, picked up the soldier's bow that the blue Bokoblin had been using, then set about opening the chest and the crates, which gained him a shiny new traveler's sword, two apples, and a palm fruit. He put the fruit in one of the pouches, replaced the trusty stick on his back with the new sword, and turned to pick up the glowing orb.

It was heavy— not terribly so, but it was also large enough that it was awkward to carry any way but with both hands above his head. He stayed off the path and away from the Hinox as he made his way back to the beach, arriving without incident and placing the orb on the raft.

He pushed it fully into the water and waded in up to mid-thigh, walking both the raft and orb all the way down the beach to where he'd first stepped ashore. The odd twilight didn't seem to extend into the water, nor did it encompass the offset island altar. He tossed the sphere up onto the large disc and climbed up after to place the offering in its spot.

The altar and sphere immediately changed to Sheikah blue, signaling that he'd completed the first third of the trial.


He allowed himself a smile and stood for a moment, letting the fresh sea breeze calm and relax him. He realized from the height of the moon in the sky that he'd been at it longer than he'd thought, the night nearly half over. He decided it was a good idea to eat a little something, so he munched on an apple and some roasted fish.

Returning to the shore, he headed back down the beach toward the Hinox, but as he crested the small hill a blue blob-being popped up out of the ground and rolled menacingly at him. This one wasn't on or spitting fire, thankfully, and two swinging strikes with the claymore were enough to obliterate it— smaller, harmless blue blobs rolling away down to the beach.

They'd also turned him slightly, and he found himself facing a clear path up the side of the hill that didn't have a name, to his knowledge. He walked slowly, but hadn't gone far when another malevolent ball of fire burst out of the ground.

He retreated a few steps and used the bow and an arrow, but when the burst came, one of the little firelets landed on top of his left foot. He did his best to mitigate his hiss of pain, not wanting to announce his presence to anyone or anything at the top of the hill. He'd been incredibly lucky with his feet so far— it was part of the reason he'd stayed out of the woods as much as possible.

He continued with a slight limp, walking more on the side of his foot since the top of it was now sporting a patch of skin that had a slightly darker shade of gray and a bit of a glossy look to it. A Stalkoblin poked its bony head out of the ground, but he was right there and able to take care of it. The claymore broke on the second hit, but the skeleton was defeated, so he grabbed the sword and made his way up the hill. He reached the top without further incident, crouching down behind some boulders and peering over the top at the scene before him.

Like with the other camp, two red and one blue Bokoblin slept around a large campfire, a huge slab of beef roasting on a spit over it. Unlike earlier, there were three blob-beings rolling around the camp, eyes seeing nothing. They were at least twice as large as the others he'd seen, and these were all bright green and crackling with electricity but otherwise unmoving.

Without warning, a crack of thunder exploded in the sky and all three Bokoblins bolted awake and hopped to their feet. As the unseen clouds above opened up a torrent on the island, the Shadow rolled his eyes at the frequency and inconvenience of the rain in Hyrule. A bolt of lightning struck the hilltop camp, branching out to touch all three of the green blobs. Horrifyingly, all three grew larger for the duration of the strike, absorbing the excess energy into their bodies.

In their engorged state, they spit out miniature bolts of electricity— striking one of the red Bokoblins that was a little too close. The monster jolted and a shadow-beast sprang free with a hiss that was lost in the downpour. The dark figure was immediately shocked again by the same blob, having landed even closer than before, and then pushed right up against the blob's body and held there with a wooden spear by the Bokoblin until a puff of dark smoke dissipated in the air.

The two uninvolved Bokoblins and blob-monsters went back to sleep and unfocused staring, respectively, having apparently noticed absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

The freed Bokoblin did a happy little jig, then tilted its head questioningly at the electric blob, grunting in an apparent attempt to communicate. Receiving no reply, the Bokoblin reared back with the spear and poked the blob in one of its unmoving eyes, jumping back with a surprised grunt when another dark creature popped out.

It seemed almost like a reflex when the blob electrocuted the shadow-beast, though the blob's eyes were fully focused and engaged for the first time. The Bokoblin used its spear and the electrified body of the blob once more and the dark figure was destroyed.

The Bokoblin threw a little nod at the blob that was presumably returned in some manner, as the Bokoblin tossed itself back down into blissful slumber and the blob went about actively scanning the area.

The Shadow ducked down so his head was hidden and stuck his injured foot out into the cooling rain while he decided his best course of action. He was faced with one freed Bokoblin, one freed blob-monster, and two each of the possessed blobs and Bokoblins all in a pretty small area. If the electric blob was like the other blob-creatures— and he really wished he could ask Navi what they were called— it would explode when struck and electrocute everything around it, now that it was uninhabited

He was low on arrows, but he'd seen that two of the Bokoblins had bows next to them so the odds were good that there was a stash somewhere in the camp. He loaded his bow and stuck his head up over the rock ledge to assess his target.

Nothing had changed; all three Bokoblins slept and the two inhabited green blobs kept their dubious watch. The blob that was actually aware noticed him and immediately began to roll toward him, so the Shadow quickly took aim and fired. He hit it in its bulbous center and watched as it exploded, splattering everything in the vicinity with electrified goo.

The Bokoblin that had been freed earlier succumbed to the shock, vanishing in a puff. The other two had their parasitic interlopers knocked loose and all four monsters lay, disoriented, on the ground for a few moments while the still-possessed blobs ignored them. The freed Bokoblins gathered themselves first, looking at each other and sort of nod-shrugging before arming themselves with their bows and firing arrows at the shadow-beasts, which disintegrated. The victorious Bokoblins grunted in satisfaction before flopping down to begin snoring immediately, rain pounding on their faces, unheeded.

The Shadow huffed a laugh to himself, readied another arrow, took aim, and fired at the closest blob, knocking loose a dark shape. Another quick shot caused the explosion of first the blob, and then both sleeping Bokoblins and the shadow-creature were coated with electric goo and all three poofed out of existence, which just left one possessed electric blob.

Two quick arrows took care of both monsters and then the camp was blissfully empty. The Shadow stepped forward, foot feeling slightly better, and assessed the rest of the camp, the rain deciding to cease as suddenly as it had begun.

The bonfire roared unexpectedly back to life, startling him into looking at it and recalling the side of beef roasting over it. It was probably safe— even meant to be eaten by the one who has undertaken the trial, just like the weather was likely intended to make certain tasks more difficult.

On the other side of the fire, buried into the hill and covered with two metal crates and a wooden barrel was the second Sheikah altar, glowing orange in the twilight. Next to it was a smaller cookfire and a thick log laid on its side and obviously used as seating.

At the edge of the small camp, right next to the log, were four barrels of explosives, and behind the log were two large, round boulders that seemed out of place unless they'd been placed where they were purposefully, precariously set on the very ridge of the hilltop and ready to roll down. Curious, he crossed the camp to look at what was below, grabbing the arrows out of both quivers lying on the ground as he went and adding them to his own depleted stash.

Oh. The camp directly overlooked the resting site of the Hinox, the side of the mountain smooth enough to roll, say, two large boulders down at it and really piss it off.

The Shadow frowned, thinking, as he stared at the barrels of explosives. If he carried them down and placed them near the head of the slumbering beast, then lit an arrow on fire and shot it at one of the barrels, would that be enough damage to defeat the Hinox?

Probably not. But the head and lone eye were its vulnerable points, aside from its legs, so if he stayed up here and shot it with fire arrows, he was sure he could claim victory without having to fight it up-close and wearing the same amount of clothes as the Hinox.

And without his sword.

Well, he had a sword— a regular sword, not his lovely, shining, strong one, he thought sulkily as he picked up the first barrel and began the trek down the trail. When he got close to the Hinox, he slowed his pace and moved as silently as he could, setting it near the monster's head before retracing his steps and repeating the process three more times.

When the last barrel was placed, he once again stood in the small camp atop the flat hill and looked down. He'd placed the four barrels close to each other and the bulbous, one-eyed head, and had a clear shot at two of the barrels.

He took out the metal soldier's bow, not wanting to set the wooden one on fire accidentally. He loaded an arrow, stuck the tip into the roaring bonfire to light it, and made his way back to the edge overlooking the Hinox. Taking careful aim and then a slow, steady breath, he let the arrow loose on the exhale.

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

The Hinox roared and sat up, furiously patting at the fire that had sprouted up on its head and arms, glowing Sheikah ball bouncing on a rope around its neck along with some glinting metal weapons that the Shadow would no doubt find useful. Unfortunately, the enemy wasn't dead, though, so the Shadow readied another fire arrow and waited for the Hinox to open its bloodshot eye and look his way.

The air was filled with a pained yell, but the Hinox still survived. Not only that, it reached down and picked up a rock that was roughly twice the size of the Shadow's head and tossed it right at him.

He managed to turn away, but the hard mass hit his left shoulder with enough force to knock him down. He pulled his arm into his body, rubbing at his injured shoulder rapidly to try and take away the stinging that was shooting down his arm. "Ow! Fuck!"

The Shadow frowned; it deepened when he saw the Hinox start up the trail toward the camp. Shit!

The Shadow was able to shoot two more fire arrows at the Hinox as it ascended toward him, but it got back up and continued its slow, bumbling charge both times. The third time, it plopped on its massive rear end right at the top of the path, allowing the Shadow the opportunity to palm the sword he'd picked up, race up the massive form, slashing and stabbing as he went to plunge the blade into the bloodshot eye.

The Hinox finally disappeared with a final roar in a massive puff of smoke, dropping the treasures it had kept strewn about his neck, including the glowing orb.

The Shadow allowed himself a relieved laugh, reaching up to rub at his sore shoulder as he moved to pick up the weaponry that had fallen and follow the Sheikah sphere down the path. He had gained a Royal broadsword and a soldier's bow, as well as a knight's shield, emblazoned in red with the Hylian crest and large enough to fit his whole body behind if he ducked. He left behind the Boko club he'd picked up earlier and had yet to use and one of the soldier's bows, since he didn't need three bows and could only carry so much without his pack and Navi, but he kept both swords because he was unsure of the durability of either or what was yet to come.

Returning to the hilltop camp with the second orb, he recalled the metal boxes and wooden barrel over the altar, and spent a few minutes unblocking the indentation. The metal boxes slid across the stone surface more easily than he'd thought they would, and he broke the barrel open, pocketing the apples and palm fruit that had been inside.

Once he'd placed the sphere in its spot on the altar, both glowed a satisfying Sheikah blue and the Shadow smiled to himself. Two down, one to go.


From his spot atop the hilltop altar, much of the near side of Koholit Rock to his east was visible. He could see no obvious path up the mountain, but at a slightly higher level and across the valley from him, he could see the remnants of some sort of stone fort, one ruined spire poking up near the ledge on that level. Not only that, but there were at least two Bokoblin lookout platforms and what promised to be a gigantic pain in his ass to secure the third offering.

He sighed, raising his eyes to the very top, where he could see the black stone Dorephan had spoken of, white symbols shining brightly in the odd, muted light of dawn. He had no doubt he'd eventually end up facing whatever awaited up there.

Daylight— or, the odd non-dark that was slightly easier to see in— meant little chance of sneaking into the camp, as all the monsters would be awake, even if they were possessed and not really aware. It seemed that whatever had infected the island had done so during the daytime, since none of the nocturnal monsters had had shadowy inhabitants.

He decided to stay where he was for a few minutes, enjoying the near-peace of the island when it wasn't throwing monsters at him from all sides. He sat on the log by the fire and enjoyed some more roasted fish, as well as some of the fruit.

When he finally made his way down the hill, he decided to walk around the base of Koholit Rock, just to make sure there was no path. There wasn't; the entire back side of the mountain dropped straight to the ocean. He decided his best chance to avoid being spotted by the lookout towers was to go through the other Bokoblin camp he'd emptied earlier, as far back toward the sea as possible.

Climbing without the Power Bracelet and hookshot was a pain in the ass— or, more accurately, the fingers and shoulders— but he made fairly good time, he thought, setting foot on the grassy ledge about an hour after he'd started. As soon as he reached the top, he spotted a Bokoblin on a lookout platform. The Shadow ducked behind a conveniently-placed tree, peeking around the side to assess what he could of the camp but unfortunately, due to the geography of the ledge, everything but that lone platform and the tip of a decrepit tower stayed hidden behind the crest of the hill.

He waited, and was rewarded with seeing the lone horn and long snout of a tall, black Moblin pacing a route around the camp, as quickly out of the Shadow's sight as it had entered. He waited again, timing the Moblin's route.

As soon as it passed the Bokoblin's platform again, the Shadow loaded, aimed, and fired at the Bokoblin, hitting it in the head and knocking a dark shape loose to tumble to the ground. The freed Bokoblin shook its head before shooting the interloper into nothingness and returning to its job, turning on the spot every few moments.

The Shadow shot the Bokoblin again, watching as it fell from its platform and rolled the several inclined feet off the edge and down to the ground a few stories below. The altitude of the level he was currently on could be useful; however, he still hadn't gotten a good look at the full camp, so he couldn't really count on it.

Along the sheer rock face leading up to the top of Koholit, the grass grew long and thick, and would hide him well if he could stay low enough— possibly well enough to scope out the rest of the camp. He made his way inward and up the crest of the hill, keeping the pacing Moblin in his sight and ducking even lower when it turned his way.

Unfortunately, however, the tall grass petered out quite suddenly, which would leave him exposed if he went any farther.

The other problem was that he had found the altar, and it had a huge fucking slab of stone or metal lying over the top of it, covering the whole fucking thing.

It also became obvious that the Moblin only patrolled the one side of the camp, not the whole thing, and across the way, there was another possessed Bokoblin on the platform he'd seen from the hilltop camp. Another three moved gracelessly near a third platform, eerily silent as they ostensibly guarded the glowing orange orb atop it.

The Shadow decided to take on the Moblin first, a plan forming in his mind as he backtracked to the tree. He waited until the Moblin made its pass of the now-empty platform and stepped out from behind his cover, keeping low and near the edge of the landing.

He drew near the empty platform just as the Moblin's head reappeared over the crest of the hill. He got as close as he dared, keeping the supports of the platform between himself and the enemy, noticing an explosive barrel resting at its base. Once the Moblin had turned away and continued its route, he stepped out and fired an arrow at the back of its head.

The dark figure popped out and tumbled down the hillside, unable to stop itself from rolling off the edge. The Moblin shook its head, recovering quickly and noticing the Shadow crouched nearby. It rushed him, sword and shield at the ready.

The Shadow readied his own weaponry, settling into a battle stance and waiting for the right moment to make his move, which came when the Moblin drew back its sword arm and turned its body slightly away from the Shadow. He darted forward, under the Moblin's shield and behind its large body where he dropped flat to his back, put his feet into the Moblin's hip, and pushed as hard as he could.

The Moblin was caught off guard and tumbled end over end in an uncanny impression of a boulder until it flailed over the edge with a surprised look on its long face. It had let go of its weaponry in unsuccessful bids for catching itself, but since the Shadow already had a sword and shield, he left them where they were for the time being as he moved along the outer edge of the camp, staying as low as possible.

There were two large wooden crates, likely with perishable goods inside, that the Shadow ducked behind. Just beyond that lay a small stand of two tall palm trees, then the rounded edge of the cliff was right there. Next to that was the tall, crumbling tower he'd seen from the camp on the other hilltop and on the other side of it sat a treasure chest.

Peeking his head around the stone pillar, he spied the Bokoblin perched on top of the platform at the other end of the camp. It was turned away from him, so he snuck out quickly to open the chest.

He was greeted with a stash of five bomb arrows and nearly crowed with joy, remembering at the last second that he was trying to avoid detection and getting his ass back behind the pillar.

Between the two ends of the camp lay a few low stone walls, the remnants of some sort of fort or building that would do a decent job of hiding him from the view of the last three Bokoblins, mesmerized by the glowing sphere as they were.

He loaded his bow and took aim at the possessed Bokoblin on the platform across the camp and let his arrow fly. It had the great fortune of not only knocking the shadow-beast free of the Bokoblin, but it also knocked the Bokoblin off the platform, and both went tumbling over the edge of the too-near cliff.

The Shadow allowed himself a smile as he made his way across the camp, noting two more crates set on the other side of a stone archway and a stash of wooden weapons— a spear and two clubs, as well as a wooden shield. At the end of the low wall closest to the edge sat a large wooden barrel that he assumed was full of more loot, but actually held absolutely nothing.

It wasn't really a very well-constructed barrel, sporting several large gaps between the staves and lacking all but the lone hoop at either end for minimal stability. He tilted his head at it, then lifted it up to see that it was, in fact, hollow, and didn't even have a cap on the bottom. He dropped it over himself, finding that he could see quite well through the gaps.

He chuckled, taking it off and putting it aside. It would probably work well if he had to sneak up on the three remaining Bokoblins, but in their possessed state, they were aware of very little that didn't whack them directly across the face, so he wasn't worried about it. Besides, shooting them from afar was working out quite well so far.

He had half a mind to use a bomb arrow, but he wasn't sure what it was going to take to move that huge stone slab over the altar, so he didn't want to waste any of them. He loaded a normal arrow and shot the nearest Bokoblin in the head.

As expected, a shadow-beast tumbled free and shook its head confusedly. The movement drew the eye of the Bokoblin, which had been mid-shake of its own head. It made an outraged sort of grunt, grabbed its spear with both hands, and stabbed the shadow-creature in the gut with enough force to obliterate it in a puff of smoke.

The Bokoblin waggled its head back and forth, clearly pleased with itself, then looked at its compatriots, still numbly shuffling their weight from foot to foot. It tilted its head at them, then looked back to the spot where he'd destroyed the shadow-beast, then back at the other Bokoblins, and back to the spot once more, clearly putting the pieces together. It poked the Bokoblin to its left in the butt cheek with a little, questioning grunt.

The possessed Bokoblin immediately grabbed its sword to retaliate, but the freed one reacted quickly with a quick stab to the chest, knocking out the shadow-beast to be poked out of existence before it could even shake its odd, tentacled head in confusion.

The newly-liberated Bokoblin shook its head and the two had a short grunted conversation, after which they worked together to emancipate their fellow and destroy the interloper so the three of them could resume normal Bokoblin behavior of dancing idiotically in a circle near the platform. Three more well-placed arrows took care of them and the Shadow finally stood in an empty camp.

He took a moment to breathe, ignoring the lingering musty odor of Bokoblin and the added tang presumably belonging to the shadow-creatures. Opening his eyes, he turned to explore the rest of the camp, finding two more barrels with ten arrows in each and another treasure chest with another knight's sword that he simply swapped for the traveler's sword he already carried.

Finally, he had to address the problem of the huge fucking slab laying over the altar. He had a grand total of two explosive barrels and five bomb arrows, which he just had to hope was enough explosive power to overcome the heft of the slab that was as thick as his thigh and maybe half again as large as the altar.

He carefully moved the barrels to sit under the protruding lip of the slab, as close as possible to the altar it covered. Then he took four of the bomb arrows and wedged them in the crack between the slab and the altar, being extremely cautious. He backed off to behind the platform still holding the waiting sphere arched stone doorway, loaded the last bomb arrow, took a deep breath, aimed carefully at one of the bomb arrows he'd placed with such precision, and fired.

The explosion that resulted was bigger than any the Shadow had experienced yet, the ground jumping unexpectedly beneath his feet and the shockwave reverberating in his chest. Most satisfyingly, the slab had slid off to the side just enough to grant access to the receptacle on the altar.

The Shadow didn't allow himself a satisfied smile until he'd placed the orb in the altar and watched both turn blue.


Author's note: I'm actually dying to know what you thought about this one - particularly because there's so little dialogue. I don't want it to be boring, but I couldn't have him talking to himself the whole time, either lol.