*Sorry for the delay, I had typed a WHOLE fan theory out for this chapter only to log on to twitter that night and see so much hate for this particular theory! Needless to say, I canned the idea and had to retype a large majority LOL thanks for reading and thank you to those who leave reviews regularly, I really appreciate you doing that! Also, there will be more interaction between Jaime & Brienne, I don't want you thinking that I've just glazed over it lol, I just needed to end the chapter there! (I've been extremely busy, sorry!) Lastly, I HATE edited with a passion, so please ignore any typos, spelling errors or fuck ups!*
Chapter 11: The Eye of the Storm
At long last, they stumbled upon the alcove. A fork of lightning had illuminated the sky and the surrounding lands for just enough time for Brienne to get her bearings. She led them there, battling the ever worsening elements. More shelter was offered between the trees but the growing fear of one tumbling down on them was extremely present until finally the large stone formations had come into view up ahead. She would have called it a cave but it led nowhere, just an extremely deep hollow between a gathering of massive rocks that made for a good shelter. With some protest from Jaime, she'd freed their prancing mare. Giving her the freedom she so desperately craved to flee. Tying her wasn't an option, she'd squeal and whinny and bring any passing attention this way. As soon as the weather eased, the pair would be on foot for the rest of the way.
Tyrion's words had stayed with her, still replaying clearly in her mind as they all sat silently under the cover of the rocks. It was a large space, dry, free of wind, rain and the noise of the outside horrors. She'd placed a small lantern in the centre, offering them a source of light and some small amount of warmth but not enough brightness to attract attention of anyone nearby. On that front, they should be safe. Glancing towards the pair, she noted Cersei was still chilled to the bone. Her whole body rattling in the soaked clothes she wore. Jaime was close to her, a look of utter defeat in his eyes. Almost the same look as when he'd lost his hand and he seemed to give up. Her blue eyes moved down to their wrists, hers were red raw and bleeding under the tightness of the rope and only Jaime's left was affected. The gold hand unscathed.
"As soon as the storm passes we'll set off and you'll be bound again." Getting to her feet, she approached the twins where they sat slumped against the rocks, her figure positively looming over them. In one quick movement, she cut Cersei's hands free. The moment the rope fell away she rubbed at them as if trying to soothe the pain, blood smearing across her angered skin. Brienne noted that she'd been silent the whole way. Not a word nor noise leaving her lips. Turning her attention to Jaime, she motioned to cut his too before holstering the knife with a stony look. "Not you, I don't trust you." She straightened her posture before moving back to where she'd previously rested and sat herself down again.
That was her first, if only, mistake.
The moment Brienne had ignored Tyrion's advice and succumbed to her anger, the fleeting exchange between this large knight and her brother had sparked a notion in Cersei's head. And like a lioness with a weakened animal of prey, she'd toy with it, torturing it for sport until she grew bored. She wouldn't let this go. Glancing at Jaime, she studied his face silently as he stared at Brienne. A sorry look on his face. A look she knew all too well. It was the same look he'd given her when Joffrey died, when Myrcella died and when he finally returned after his capture. His face was too telling sometimes, he was the emotional one and she the apathetic one. Her gaze flickered over to Brienne, she was sharpening her sword, ignoring Jaime's pleading looks. Something had happened between them at Winterfell, it was so blatantly obvious.
This woman before them was everything Cersei wasn't, yet everything she craved to be in a strange way. Which made this slight against her all the more painful. Manipulation, sex, wit and cunning were Cersei's weapons of choice. That's all she'd ever been equipped with to battle her own wars. She was no fighter, she couldn't wield a sword, axe or lance. She was petite and slender, taught to smile, please and curtsy. All her life she'd craved the power her twin brother and father had. Nobody questioned them, nobody dared. But Cersei? Even as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms men still asserted their false right to counsel her. To refuse her. To expect sexual payment and favours from her. Tywin Lannister didn't have to justify his plans to anyone, he ordered and people obeyed. Jaime never had to fuck someone in order to overpower them, he simply had to threaten them or demand it from them. Cersei had no such power. Even in the seat of highest power possible, she never truly had any. But even more so now. The last few days had frightened her. She couldn't use her finely tuned skills to survive this type of world. Jaime was her only protection now and it rattled her to her core to be so completely dependent. She was helpless. A lamb, not a lioness. It pinched at her heart to know that this strong, self-reliant woman escorting them had caught the eye of her brother. He'd never strayed before and here they were, the three of them holed up in a cave together. When she first met Brienne in King's Landing, she sensed she held some sort of flame for Jaime but she didn't feel intimidated by this fact. In terms of beauty and sex appeal, Cersei won in that category but Brienne possessed an inner beauty that Cersei could never hold a candle to. She was dignified, pure-hearted, moral and honourable.
He looked as though he was in agony. Bent over to relieve the pressure from his wounded side, his lip curling slightly with the discomfort. Cersei was naturally worried for him, that didn't change with her newfound discovery but she felt threatened in a way she'd never been threatened before. Jaime's love and devotion were constant. They never faltered, never weakened. But Brienne had some sort of hold on him and she did not like it in the slightest. Her only comfort was that he had left this beast in Winterfell and come back for her. As he always would.
"What am I supposed to do, piss myself where I sit?" Jaime spoke out of nowhere, attitude staining his words. The female knight ceased her movements, looking to him without a scrap of feeling. She was good, Cersei thought. But not as good as her.
"You managed well enough when the Starks had you, why is now any different?" Blinking slowly, she kept her gaze on him despite being able to feel Cersei's green eyes burrowing into her. "You were tied to a post, covered in your own shit and piss for months."
"Because you made a promise to Jon Snow, to treat us kindly. I overheard your conversation in the corridor." He looked down over himself before looking to Cersei. She was still shivering and her wrists bleeding. His side was oozing once more, the sewn skin had split with the vigorous movements of their horse earlier. "It's not looking so great is it? We're both a bit of a mess. Don't you pride yourself on keeping your oaths, yet here you are abusing your power-"
"Enough." She hissed, finally standing. "You remain bound and you go to the back of the cove. All the way back, I don't need to be assaulted with the view." She grabbed him roughly, pulling him to his feet before shoving him towards the rear of the enclosed space. There was no fear of him escaping that way but anywhere near the entrance was a risk.
"He's bleeding badly." Cersei finally uttered once he was out of earshot. Her first words in hours, her voice was soft. Almost sweet, Brienne noted.
"I don't give a rat's arse about your wretched twin brother-"
"Yes you do." The dulcet tones of her voice were still there but she'd somehow managed to interrupt the loud, angry rumbling of Brienne with only three tiny words. Silencing her instantly. She didn't even have to raise her voice or snarl. "I see the way you look at him." There was a cold stare between the two, Brienne thunderstruck by the accurate observation. Tyrion was right. She'd sensed it immediately with only a small handful of interactions between herself and Jaime.
"I'm looking at you both as my prisoners." Grizzling back as best she could, her facade was failing miserably. "Nothing more, nothing less."
"Tell me, did he take it? Or had you already lost it before he bedded you?" There was a sickening playfulness in her eyes. Despite sitting on the cold, hard ground, shivering, bleeding and hungry, she somehow had the upper hand and it had happened faster than Brienne could have even blinked. "Your maidenhead?" She pressed on, assuming the tall woman had no idea what she was referring to. But she did, she was just too stunned to speak. "He took mine." She smiled softly, remembering. "We were so young, it was a fumbling mess. Neither one of us knew what we were doing but it felt right. Feeling him inside me for the first time, I knew then that we were always meant to be together." Moving her piercing gaze back to Brienne's teary blue eyes, she made her move to stick the knife in before Jaime got back. Brienne felt hypnotised by the smoothness of her voice, no matter the words being uttered, the way in which she delivered them was enchanting. She wondered if this was how she managed to possess Jaime so easily too. "I imagine it felt the same for you, my brother can be a tender lover in the right circumstances. He was always so considerate. If Robert had been too rough the night before, he'd make sure to be soft and caring with me. He'd make me feel safe again." She left no room for reply. "He was probably oh so gentle with you too." The smile on her lips seemed to fade slowly. "Some advice, woman to woman. Don't ever let go of that feeling. That memory you have with him, keep it always." There was a genuine caring tone to her words until the poison sank in quickly, wounding Brienne more than any battle injury could. "Because that's all you'll ever have. Jaime will never abandon us." She rested her hand on the obvious bump growing beneath her damp clothes, referring to herself and their unborn babe. "He will always come back for me."
On the road to King's Landing, the storm had almost completely avoided them. A mere spattering of rain and a little gust of wind. That was the extent of it. Jon and Ser Davos remained travelling on horseback ahead of the wheelhouse, whilst Tyrion and Bran sat comfortably in the dry and warmth. The silence was starting to irk him, Tyrion couldn't lie on that front. Someone such as Bran who was always seeing so much, surely he'd have more to talk about? Instead he just stared blankly, like there was nothing behind his eyes anymore.
"Drink?" Tyrion broke the quietude, thrusting a cup towards the chair-bound teen he was sure he'd decline and he was correct. Shrugging wordlessly, he downed the remains of the wine and filled it again. The glassware clattered and clinked with each bump on the road beneath the creaking wheels.
"Wine won't solve the problems you have." He stated matter-of-factly, only causing the dwarf to smile.
"No, but it does make them seem an awful lot less terrible." He swallowed another large mouthful. "You should try it, I imagine you have a lot of troublesome thoughts floating around in your head."
"There are many, but wine won't make them go away." He smiled, an odd view Tyrion had to admit but regardless it was quite nice to see him engage in a human expression.
"Enlighten me." Tyrion instructed confidently. "I'm a man of honour, I won't tell anyone or spill any dangerous secrets. Especially if someone could lose their life over it."
"You told a room of four people that your sister was brutally raped." He blinked. "That should have been something you kept to yourself, yet you didn't." A silence washed over them as Tyrion cringed at the thought.
"I just wanted to assure them that Jaime would do anything to defend her, he'd assist in fighting off attackers if they gave him the chance." He looked down, his wine suddenly not so appealing. "It mattered not in the end anyway, Brienne was ordered to bind their hands."
"A necessary precaution, your brother is a skilled fighter. They couldn't risk him attempting to take his freedom."
"Yes, I understand that." He grizzled, growing impatient with Bran's incredible lack of ability to actually see in this circumstance.
"You'd do anything to protect him, wouldn't you? Even after all of his wrong-doings. You risked your life for him on more than one occasion. Someone of your height and build, protecting a seasoned fighter such as Jaime is quite remarkable." This was as close to conversing the boy had actually come and Tyrion wasn't about to decline participation. He liked talking, it was freeing and he always felt liberated after sharing. Like weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"He's the only family member that has ever truly loved me." He looked down, the sadness welling in his eyes. "And I just sent him off as a prisoner, along with my sister and their unborn babe." He locked eyes with Bran once more. "Everything he did was for love, for Cersei. He had pure intentions sometimes, though most would never see that. But to me, he could never do any wrong, he's my big brother."
"Babes." Bran corrected, confusing Tyrion at first until his brain kicked into overdrive.
"Twins?" His jaw dropped, a look of pure happiness in his eyes at the mere thought of multiple nieces and nephews but he was cruelly reminded of his brother and sister's fate and how he'd possibly never meet Jaime's children. "Cersei's carrying twins? How do you know this?"
"As soon as I saw her, I knew." Bran watched Tyrion thinking, recalling the moment Bran had caused her to shift uneasily under his gaze. She flinched nor cringed for no one, he must have really been staring into her soul, if she even possessed one. "She knows too."
Back in the silence of the rock shelter, the weather was still beating down outside of their refuge spot. Brienne hadn't breathed a word since her one-sided conversation with Cersei, her heart shattered all over again and now she had to stare at them both sat across from her. Jaime was no longer bound, Cersei had blatantly untied him right in front of her but she was past the point of caring. All of this unravelled much to Jaime's confusion but he didn't protest, he was just glad to be free of his bonds. The gale-force winds had at least eased up, now it was only the rain they waited on. It was the hour of ghosts and Brienne was itching to set off again, she wanted this quest of hers to be over with already.
"You're still bleeding." Cersei murmured softly, she was only inches from where he was awkwardly sat.
"It's not that bad." He lied still only thinking of her, even though he felt as if he was bleeding endlessly. He'd managed to get a quick glimpse of it when he was urinating, it didn't actually look all too bad. Just re-opened and bloodied. There just seemed to be no stopping to it. "You're frozen." His statement was fact, as he looked at her even in the dim lighting he could see she had a blue-ish tinge to her soft lips. Particularly around the edges. Straight away he started to shrug out of his top layer, it took him a few moments as he gingerly tried to remove it without further aggravating his wound. The thick coat was still heavily dampened, hence why he hadn't bothered giving it to her earlier but now at least the inside was mostly dried and warmed by his skin. She took it gratefully, throwing it around her small frame and wrapping it across herself as snugly as she could. Even his unwashed scent was oddly comforting to her, intoxicating her senses with him.
Seated right in front of them, Brienne was doing her best to ignore the gut-wrenching closeness of the pair. She was so hurt, so angry. But she couldn't be. Not really, not rationally. He'd initiated their night of love, sure, but she knew he belonged to another woman when she let him take her maidenhead. And despite how twisted their twin relationship was, he was never Brienne's to bed. Yet she did so anyway. On more than the one occasion over the years, she'd heard the way Jaime spoke about his twin. He was devoted entirely, like Tyrion had said. Despite that, a small and naive part of her hoped that he'd just wake up and see what he could have with her. She wanted to shake him and tell him she loved him and that she thought he loved her too but it was clear as day now, there was never going to be anything other than Jaime and Cersei. They lived in their little bubble together as they always had done, each only having eyes for the other.
"We leave when those last clouds clear, rain or no rain we need to keep moving." She stood, barking her orders and sheathing her sword before marching back out to start saddling her horse and assess the weather situation a little better. The tears rolling as soon as her back was turned. In the wake of her exit, Jaime tried to shuffle closer to his sister but she became cool and distant to his touch all of a sudden.
"Are you going to be alright walking?" He asked, sweetly. His voice laced with concern despite his injury being the more pressing matter between the two of them.
"I think it's you we should be worried about, perhaps you can ask that great big cow if she can make room on her mount for you." The sweetness had vanished completely, her tone now replaced with a cold and unfeeling one.
"Don't be like this." He huffed irately, giving up on his attempt to move closer. He knew it was a wasted effort. "Why is it alright for you but not me?" His nostrils flared with fury, he'd had an ill feeling she suspected there was something between himself and Brienne and her current behaviour was only confirming that theory. Their strange twin-thinking allowed them to bypass parts of conversations or lead-ups to arguments because they already knew certain facts and details, thus touching upon them was pointless. "You fucked Euron Greyjoy, in the very same bed we'd shared together."
"That was entirely different." She snapped her head back around to face him, her expression depicting what appeared to be an odd mix of anger and utter betrayal. She betrayed him first and on more than one occasion that he actually knew of, how is it that she could look so hurt by his one indiscretion? The only time he'd ever deceived her.
"Tell me, how exactly is that any different? You still let him fuck you! And our cousin, Lancel? You think I don't know about him?" He saw her face change, a stillness washing over her features as their hushed argument ceased for only a second. "How do you explain that? It was an accident? You tripped? Please, enlighten me, I'm intrigued to know how they're different from what it is that I did." He tilted his head to one side, the anger he'd held on to since the Greyjoy twat had sliced his side open was all spilling out in a venomous counter attack.
"You wouldn't understand. You never will." She spoke softly, which truly surprised him given the anger in her eyes only moments ago. He'd half expected her quick temper to have gotten the better of her. "I am sick and tired of explaining myself to men." She paused, her green eyes flickering rapidly between his. "I owe you no explanation nor do I owe you an apology." She breathed silently, unbeknownst to either of them Brienne was listening to every word outside. "All my life I've had one man or another giving me orders. A father, a husband, a son and now a brother." She swallowed hard. "I will not cower before your words the way I did father's." Speaking firmly, it almost sounded as though she was making herself a promise. "They had things I needed and I did what I had to do to get them. Something you've never had to worry about because you have a cock between your legs and I do not." Despite the anger she held for Cersei, Brienne felt a wave of feminist satisfaction course through her body at those strongly uttered words. She faced similar hardships daily, constantly undermined, underestimated and always sexualised. They sailed in the same boat in that troubled water. "Lancel helped me kill Robert, he was easily manipulated with sex. Euron wanted a Queen in exchange for elephants, I gave him what he wanted and he failed me."
"You were Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, you didn't have to fuck him for that-"
"But I did." She argued, a bite behind her words. "That's exactly my point. You see, I was the queen and I was still expected to give myself away like some sort of prize. Do you think Robert ever had to fuck anyone for them to help him fight his wars? Sexually propositioned so openly, in front of everyone? Elephants in exchange for the right to fuck?" His silence was the answer she wanted. "No cock, no power it would seem."
"Actually, now that you mention it, yes." He smiled smugly. "I recall Robert had to fuck you for father's Lannister gold-" Before he could even finish his sentence, her palm made swift and strong contact with his cheek. An almighty slap sounding through the hollow caved area followed by a heavy silence. Even Brienne had turned her head at the cracking sound. He took the hit with as much dignity as he could, his jaw tensing before he turned his gaze back to her. She was completely vexed but her eyes betrayed the hurt she experienced at the punch of his words. Not satisfied with his lack of reaction, she swung her hand back to strike him again but his reflexes were quick. His left hand blocked her and clamped down on to her wrist firmly but in no way hurting her. He finally looked serious.
"I'm sorry." Lowering his head, he kept his eyes fixed on hers. "I shouldn't have said that." Glancing at her restrained hand he began to speak again, noting the soreness of it beneath his fingers. Brienne had tied their bounds so tightly. "I'm going to let go now, just don't hit me again." Watching her nod ever so slightly with a harassed expression, he let go and she snatched her hand back from his clutch. She didn't try again, her temper cooling slightly. "I didn't mean that, I was just angry." She ignored his apology, turning to face straight ahead again. "We can't start bickering, not now." He continued to talk to the side of her face. "That's all in the past, it's happened, we can't change it and it doesn't matter. None of it does."
"Nothing except us?" She finished his sentence, her voice tired and lacking emotion. A rehearsed line that she'd anticipated him saying and beat him to it. Her gaze remained fixed ahead in the darkness. She could feel his eyes scanning her cheek, silently begging her to look at him. "This is what it's going to be like, isn't it?" She asked timidly, her rage seemed to have slipped away and in place of it a child-like innocence now coated her words. "From now on, just the two of us, endlessly arguing with one another until we're old and even more hateful than we already are." Glancing down at her lap, she fidgeted with her fingers as they lay there. "It makes me wonder why we're even doing this, perhaps we were supposed to be buried in the rubble of the Red Keep-"
"Why would you even say that?" His brows pulled downwardly as soon as he spoke. "We survived for our daughter."
"To give her what? A life in chains or running forever? We don't know what will happen, where we'll end up. We could be murdered as soon as we get there for all we know." She finally turned to look at him, only worry displayed on her delicate face now.
"Exactly, you don't know what our future holds. So what? We just give up? If there's even a small chance at a happy life with our daughter, you won't take it? We could be at Horn Hill for a day, a week, a year, what does it matter? We'll be together, the three of us." He made the risky decision to lay his palm on her abdomen, half expecting her to recoil but she didn't. Instead she placed her hand atop his and pressed it even closer, he wasn't sure if this was all anxiety making it's way to the surface after days of being suppressed or whether the Brienne situation had triggered it. Either way, she wasn't in a great frame of mind and it stressed him slightly.
Back outside, Brienne had heard the whole exchange. Her chest tightened and her stomach knotted at the mere mentioning of a daughter. Pulling the girth of her saddle roughly, she gave herself a second to pull it together. Her tears mixed in with the falling rain, disguising her heartbreak. A few deep breaths later, she turned and headed back under shelter. Cersei didn't acknowledge her reappearance but Jaime's eyes had been on her the entire time. A serious look on his face. He so desperately wanted to speak with her but it was impossible given their current circumstances.
"We need to keep moving, if we leave now we should make it to Horn Hill by mid day tomorrow." She strode towards them as she talked, the rope in her hands at the ready.
"Is that really necessary?" Jaime started, a hiss to his words. Finally the pair shared their first real eye contact thus far. "Me? Fair enough but Cersei doesn't need her hands binding, look at the state of her." Gesturing to her torn up wrists, he awaited a pity response but he didn't get one.
"You'll both be tied, as per Jon's command." Moving her stony stare between them, she stood up straight again. "On your feet, both of you."
