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Harry Potter And The Game of Death

Level 1

Chapter 14: The Marauders

It was a dark place where Wormtail found his master.

The ground was covered in mulch and bones. Chilling mist hung in the air, and the smell of something rotting permeated drifted in the foetid breeze. It was a place no normal mortal could enter and expect to survive.

But Wormtail was no normal mortal. He was both a Dark wizard and an Animagus. And thanks to these dual traits, he had accomplished what no other Death Eater had managed.

He had found Lord Voldemort.

Not sly Lucius, surrounded by his plots and delusions of grandeur.

Not brilliant Severus, who wore Dumbledore's collar tightly around his neck.

And certainly not poor little Bellatrix, locked up tight in the foreboding prison of Azkaban.

Oh no. They, and all others once high in their master's favour, had failed in this most important of tasks. And so it was Wormtail, not they, who had received their master's dark blessings.

What made it even better was how pleased the Dark Lord had been upon learning that Wormtail had not been idle during his long absence. Lord Voldemort had been impressed with the information his servant had gathered during his time spent as the Weasley's family pet.

Dreams of grandeur had risen before Wormtail's eyes while his master spoke honeyed words of praise. Of admiration for how he had used his position to sneak through the halls of the Ministry and listen in on conversations, and to peer into the inner circle of Dumbledore himself at Hogwarts.

But those hopes had nearly been dashed when the Dark Lord tore the information from Wormtail's mind through Legilimency. For according to the Dark Lord, no information could truly be trusted unless given after a baptism of pain.

The process had been… excruciating.

But the pain had been worth it in the end. His master had been overjoyed to learn about the many plans of his enemies and had declared that Wormtail would be rewarded beyond all others once the Dark Lord returned to power.

Only when its dark glee had subsided had the Shade that was his master's current form withdrawn in order to consider its next move. Whispered words of caution were its parting gift as it vanished like smoke in the wind.

Alone and weakened, Wormtail had shifted into his rat form to avoid the probing eyes which lurked within the forest. Supposedly, there were beings and powers which dwelt within this forest that even Wormtail's mighty master respected. Entities that had given his master's Dark Shade shelter, and whom the Dark Lord had now gone to consult with as equals.

This piece of knowledge alone, that the Dark Lord viewed anyone or anything other than Albus Dumbledore as a peer, had frightened Wormtail greatly. Far more so than when a hungry Hag had nearly eaten him upon his initial arrival in the Albanian wilderness.

His teeth chattering in fear as he waited for his master to return, Wormtail tried to comfort himself by thinking of the glorious future which would soon be within his grasp.

Wormtail would aid his master in whatever plan the Dark Lord constructed. He would watch his fellow Death Eaters squirm in jealousy and fear at the favour which would be shown to him by the Dark Lord. And with that favour would come power. Power to do as he wished. To rule a land in his Lord's name, and to take revenge upon all who had wronged him.

But as he daydreamed of his coming destiny, Wormtail felt his body begin to grow cold.

The air grew chill. Sound seemed to fade away. What little light there was in the dim forest began to dim, and the tingle of powerful Dark magic filled the air.

Wormtail transformed back into his human form so he could drop to both knees in reverence. For the Dark presence which filled the air could mean only one thing.

That the Dark Lord's plan had been completed. And that their revenge would soon begin.


It was a lovely summer day in the highlands of Scotland. A blast of warm sunlight illuminated the land, its bright rays lighting up the tapestry of rolling green hills for the world to see with nary a cloud in sight.

Nestled between a chain of hills was a modest sized area of flat ground. Upon it sat a once beautiful three-story manor, with stained stone walls and a tiled roof in dire need of repair.

One side of the building bordered a small forest of short trees, while the other three were covered in brambles and nettles. Great glass windows covered the first floor, with more modestly sized ones adorning the second and third floors. A pair of intimidating wooden doors, bound in wrought iron, barred entrance to its halls, with smaller doors constructed in similar fashion denoting the auxiliary entrances.

An old dirt pathway stretched out from the main entrance and into the distance. If one were to follow its length, they would find that it eventually joined up with one of the Muggle roads, although it had only rarely been put to use in the past. Its former owners had valued their privacy long before it was vogue to do so amongst magical folk; the anti-muggle, privacy, and related concealment spells surrounding it had been laid down centuries ago, and its defensive wards were the best that money could buy.

A second, smaller pathway paved with white flagstones stretched behind the building and wound its way to a nearby lake. The lake's crystal-clear depths sparkled in the sunlight and a copse of fruit trees edged up on its southern side. While an old, tattered gazebo sat several yards away, as if waiting for people to one day return to it.

The mansion and its surroundings were both peaceful and calm. The air was filled with the songs of birds while the fluffy forms of bunnies darted through the untrimmed bushes and trees which surrounded the ancient house. A Muggle who stumbled across it could easily think that it was an idyllic paradise gone fallow. But any wizard or witch who knew about the building's previous owners would know to be wary.

For the House of Black had been steeped in Dark Magic for centuries, and they had filled their many homes with all manner of monstrosities.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin had known of this tendency long before they had arrived at the smallest property of the formerly fearsome House. Armed with their wands and their wits, the two men had been expecting to find all manner of Dark artefacts and poisonous vegetation within the abandoned domicile. Or hallways laden with trap wards, with carved runic circles set in the floors to harm the unwary. Perhaps even a shackled magical beast or three, driven insane by an unsatiated need to feed on human flesh.

Sirius and Remus had ruled out three other Black family properties for those very same reasons, including Sirius's boyhood home in London. The spells at that particular property had been so potent that it would probably require Dumbledore's personal intervention to make the place safe for human habitation; even Gringotts, well known for its small army of professional curse breakers, had wanted nothing to do with it unless Sirius would agree to bind his House and closest relatives in servitude to them for the next three centuries.

Terms that the dark-haired wizard had staunchly, and wisely, refused.

With that, the matter of the residence at Grimmauld Place was put aside to deal with on another day. The other two places had been contracted to be cleansed through Gringotts for a more reasonable price but had yet to be secured. For much to the embarrassment and ire of Gringotts, the local curse breakers employed by the Goblins had proven inadequate to the tasks at hand. As a result, a team of more experienced curse breakers were being brought in from Egypt at no further expense, but their arrival was not expected for another three months at the earliest.

In the meantime, Sirius and Remus, who needed a place where they could stay and bring Harry to live with them, had settled their hopes on this remote homestead located deep in the Scottish Highlands. Their initial survey of the place had set off far fewer Dark Magic detection spells than at the other properties, and the two wizards were confident they could secure and fix up the place on their own.

So, a day after the contracts with Gringotts had been formally signed for the other two properties, the two wizards had eagerly thrown themselves into cleansing this abode of anything its former owners had left behind.

Boggarts were laughed at, pixies were stupefied, and a rather large Acromantula was removed from the Master Bedroom through gratuitous use of fire Charms. The thing had been twice the size of Hagrid and, judging from the egg sacs which had been present in the room, the creature had been in the process of starting up an entirely new brood. Which would have been an ecological disaster, as Hogwarts was only able to manage its own brood thanks to the Centaur's constant pruning.

Yet all things considered the removal process had been going rather well. Sirius had only caused three disasters of any note, the pair had managed to disarm the various traps installed throughout the corridors and chambers, and Remus had suffered only a blackened eye from when Sirius had jerked into him in order to avoid the Acromantula's initial attack.

Their good progress had filled the two men with a glowing sense of pride, and they had figured the worst lay behind them.

But then they had decided to investigate the basement. At which point everything started to go very wrong, very quickly.

"Run awaaaaaay!" Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs as he and Remus fled up a flight of stairs.

"I am, you idiot!" Remus yelled back, the normally calm professor sounding incredibly harried. "Move your slow arse before they catch up to us!"

Meanwhile, the chattering voices of tiny creatures rose in pitch behind them, followed by the patter of their teeny little feet. The two men heard it and doubled their already frantic pace, reaching the top of the stairs in short order.

Seeing sunlight ahead, the two wizards gave it one final burst before lunging for the door.

Both men rolled through it in a tumbling tangle of limbs. Each swore at the other as they fought to untangle themselves before their assailants could make it through the open portal behind them.

It was Remus who first managed to regain his footing. Sirius watched as his old friend leaped up and slammed the door shut. Its oaken wood slammed closed with a thunderous boom which shook loose layers of dust from the ceiling.

The deed done, Remus faced the door intently, his breath coming in heaving pants while he cast silent spells of warding and closure upon its frame as quickly as he could manage. Only when he seemed certain that it would hold against the coming assault did the werewolf turn towards his oldest living friend and glare. His eyes flashed yellow, the man's lupine affliction showing through due to his agitation.

"Dammit Sirius! I told you not to use that spell. I told you that your wand was too new and that you hadn't finished bonding with it yet." Remus lifted a shaking finger to point it at the dark-haired wizard still splayed upon the floor. "But what did you do? Did you listen to me? No, of course you didn't. You cast the goddamn spell anyway, and now look at what has happened!"

From his spot on the dusty, dirty floor, Sirius Orion Black, Heir to the House of Black, Animagus extraordinaire, the only person to ever escape the dreaded prison of Azkaban, and all around ladies'man… shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied after catching his breath. "You've got me there, Moony… but you've also got to admit, it sure was fun. Right?"

"I don't have to admit to anything, Padfoot," Remus said with a snort. "Being chased by a bunch of enraged Erklings with only an ugly bloke like you for company is not my idea of fun on a Saturday afternoon. I'd never seen one until today, but I can see the resemblance to House Elves that all the defence books talk about."

"Oh, just wait until you meet Kreacher. Those things looked as if they were his bastard offspring. Morgana knows they certainly have his temper and sense of hospitality."

Remus rubbed a tired hand through his greying brown hair as he waved off Sirius' reply. Sirius had briefly mentioned the old Black family House Elf when they had been searching through the family's listed properties. But since the House Elf resided in the one residence the man refused to enter and had refused to heed Sirius' call otherwise, Remus had yet to meet the strange sounding creature, and thus was still disbelieving of Sirius' claims.

That was okay. The man would someday learn just how little Sirius was understating the damn creature someday. And when he did, he would have to admit that Sirius had been justified in trying to take extreme action to put the Erklings down as fast as was humanly possible.

The werewolf gave a smirk as his eyes fell upon Sirius once again. "I do have to admit, though, that seeing you splayed out on your arse while gasping for air certainly has a nostalgic feel to it. It reminds me of all those times that one of your amazing ideas for a prank went terribly wrong, forcing us to run for our lives before either McGonagall or Filch caught us red-handed."

Sirius grumbled at the reminder of pranks gone wrong. "My ideas never went wrong, Moony. Ever. Each and every one of them was perfect; a masterpiece of pranking that Hogwarts had never seen before, or even since." He paused to shoot his friend a pointed glare. "If anything, it was your execution of said ideas which left something to be desired!"

"Oh no you don't. My execution, Sirius, was usually what saved our arses from getting kicked out of Hogwarts!"

"As if! That excuse was lame before we had even left the school; trotting it out now won't save your sorry hide any better than it did back then." Sirius chose to flail an arm in Remus' general direction, the exchange having exhausted what little stamina he had managed to regain. "Now help me up already. I'm tired, and my legs feel like they were hit by a jelly-legs curse for six hours straight like we did to Severus back in third year."

Remus stared down at Sirius, visibly considering whether to help him stand up. Only to shake his head and turn away. "Hm… nope. I feel like I should go check the other entrances to the cellar area to make sure that all those little demons you just pissed off don't escape. You're on your own, mate."

"Wuss," Sirius muttered as he wearily propped himself up on his elbows.

"Moron," came Remus' immediate reply.

"Idiot."

"Pureblood."

"Grumpypants."

"Man child."

"Spoilsport."

"Pansy."

"Hey!" Sirius bellowed in mock anger as he shakily tried to stand. "Take that one back. I am not Parkinson's daughter."

"Could've fooled me," Remus said, the smirk in his voice obvious. "But on second thought, you're right Sirius. Even Pansy Parkinson could have done better down there than you did. I would know. After all, I did teach her all of last year on how to deal with Dark magical creatures."

Sirius winced at the words. "C'mon Moony, don't be so harsh to your old friend," Sirius whined as he followed his friend out of the room. The cellar door they had used was located just off the Cottage's kitchen and was only a few steps from Remus' probable destination, an auxiliary entrance to the building. "The girl's got to be, what, thirteen years old? Fourteen at most. And she's probably inbred to boot, which means she can't be the brightest Lumos of her class, right?"

"Sounds about right," Remus said lightly. The smirk, though, was still firmly entrenched in his voice as the werewolf opened the kitchen's auxiliary door. "But considering how you are probably her cousin in, oh, about seven different ways, and that you have the emotional intelligence of a teenager even at the age of thirty-four… well, the more you talk, the more you prove my point."

Remus gave a soft chuckle and turned to look at his friend with unconcealed mirth in his eyes.

Sirius scowled at the sight. Dammit, but that settled it. This round went to Remus, and Sirius knew it. All he could do at this point was fall quiet and mumble about revenge under his breath while his friend proceeded to spell shut the outside cellar door located just outside the Cottage's auxiliary entrance.

This sort of argument was nothing new to the two old friends. It had started back when they were younger than Harry and had followed them into adulthood. But the arguments had generally gone much better for Sirius when James had still been alive. The many times both men had ganged up on Remus to beat back that particular argument about their blood status during their Hogwarts years were beyond count.

A wave of nostalgia swept through Sirius as he recalled some of the memories.

Those had been good times. Times spent with good friends and gorgeous women. The good times had even continued after Lily had joined their little group in sixth year, though the combination of her and Remus had often proven too great for Sirius and James to handle. The pair had mourned their defeats over a tankard of good ale more than once, laughing away as they plotted their comebacks. Most of which had resulted in yet more failures, only to be followed by more laughter over new mugs of ale.

It had been a wonderful cycle. One that should have continued to the current day.

But thanks to Wormtail's betrayal, they had not. A sad truth that Sirius had to forcefully remind himself as he took a moment to rest against the Cottage's stone wall.

James and Lily were long gone and trying to pretend otherwise would not be healthy. The Healers at St. Mungos had already told him that he faced a long enough list of issues as it were without adding delusional thinking to the mix.

Much of his issues stemmed from his years at Azkaban, but Sirius' childhood was no slouch in that department. The Healers had been one part impressed and two parts horrified when Sirius had spoken about some of what he had endured and seen as a child.

Dark Arts Rituals designed to change the human body. Spells to inflict pain for the amusement of his mother or another adult member of the family. Punishments that included standing naked for hours in a dark room filled with stinging insects. Or being buried up to his neck in pools of blood taken from the bodies of murdered magical creatures.

As for the straw that had finally broken his proverbial back and made him leave… Sirius doubted that he would ever tell anyone about that particular event. He had brokenly cried upon Fleamont Potter's shoulder while recounting the tale. James' father had spent the rest of the summer piecing Sirius' spirit back together as he fought to wrest legal control of the young man from his demented family. These many years later, Sirius considered the matter to be closed.

For he was Sirius Orion Black! The most handsome and debonair wizard alive, skilled with a wand and masterful with the ladies.

No amount of family issues or dark baggage in his past would get in his way for long. There were things he needed to do and people he needed to be with, all of which had twelve years of time he needed to make up for missing. So while he watched Remus finish sealing up the outside cellar entrance and begin to look around to see if there was some other entrance they had missed, Sirius started to think and come up with a plan.

Perhaps Remus had been right. Maybe Sirius should not have tried to go for a flashy spell so soon and should have just handled things by the book. Doing things slowly and securely had been drilled into him during his time as an Auror; some of Moody's words on the subject were still floating around Sirius' skull, yammering that continuing down this path was likely to get him killed.

It was just that, being the super awesome wizard that Sirius knew himself to be, casting a wide range stupefy was easily within his ability. Or it should have been, as it had been a spell Sirius had learned shortly after leaving Hogwarts. Remus' protestations otherwise – even if they had been proven well founded in this case – were just born from the man's bizarre sense of caution and desire to handle Sirius with kid gloves, and he had just about had enough of it.

Great friend that he was, what Remus did not understand was that Sirius had to shake the rust off his awesome skills before Harry came to live with them. Because Harry needed to see Sirius as the master of awesome. The sultan of cool. The lord of fun and everything dangerous.

Anything less than that would be a failure to James' memory, and Sirius had already failed his dead friend enough to last three lifetimes.

So, in order to counter the inevitable lecture coming his way once Remus was done with any other entrances he found, Sirius acted. After making a few mental tweaks to the Healer approved training routine he had come up with in order to get himself back in shape – one that he hoped Harry would join shortly after arriving – Sirius left Remus to his own devices and ran back to the house.

Making sure to lock the door and ward the doors inside against most opening charms and spells too, because seeing Remus crawl in through one of the house's windows would be funny.

Then, once he was finished with the first part of his revenge, Sirius penned a letter which he tied to the leg of a tiny little owl he had purchased the day before. It was a short message, filled with flowery, formal language that the recipient was likely to enjoy, and was kept purposefully light on details. Sirius wanted to entice the person he was addressing to come and visit him, while doing so in such a way that it sounded like he was requesting the pleasure of their company instead of using them to shield himself from his friend's justified wrath.

Sirius Black might have lost a step or two when it came to combat, but he could still mess with the heads of his friends and loved ones like no one else.


The next day was not nearly so pleasant. Dark, brooding clouds gathered overhead as a gentle rain fell upon the Cottage. A stillness lay upon the surroundings, as though the land itself had been lulled to slumber by the water's gentle caress.

A loud crack rang across the land and shattered the peaceful atmosphere.

Two figures appeared on the dirt path as if from thin air, their features obscured by a pair of thin travel cloaks. Both were quite tall, and they moved with a casual grace. A pair of wands clasped in gloved hands flowed from their sleeves and scanned the immediate area.

Finding nothing of note, the figures lowered their wands. One cast a Charm to repel the rain, causing a shimmering field to spring up around the pair.

Safe from the rain, the individual flung their cloak off their shoulders and looked around with an air of annoyance.

"Muuuum! Why do I have to come with you to visit some stupid old relative? It's not like we get along with anyone on your side of the family anyway." The speaker, a young woman with bubble-gum pink-hair cropped stylishly short, grumbled aloud as the figure next to her began to walk towards the mansion. "He's probably just some snotty Pureblood like the rest of them. And even if he wasn't like that back when you still knew him, I'll bet that being stuck in Azkaban for so long probably sucked all of the fun out of him."

The unhappy young woman kicked a nearby rock as she spoke, the small stone flying into the short grass as she began to mutter curses under her breath. Underneath the cloak, flashes could be seen of a smart combo of tunic and pants that would have fit in with either Muggles or Magic Folk alike. Dark brown eyes, filled with a hint of bored mischief, bore into the figure at her side.

Having put away her own cloak, the other woman shook her head gently. Dark brown hair hung in soft curls around her shoulders, perfectly accenting her fashionably cut robes of dark green. A sigh left her lips upon hearing her daughter's complaints.

"Watch your language, Nymphadora. Sirius is a dear relative who is most assuredly unlike any member of our family you have ever met." Andromeda Tonks said smoothly, her cultured voice perfect in its elocution. Her hawk-eyed gaze swivelled across the Cottage's property, taking in everything without pausing her steps. "Besides, your aunt Narcissa would be terribly hurt to hear you say that. You know how she enjoys seeing you."

The younger woman gave an unladylike snort at her mother's words. "Uh huh. Then please explain to me why our last visit ended with her snot-nosed son and toad of a husband insulting us to the point that you nearly hexed the pair of them in the middle of Diagon Alley. And for the last time, mum, don't call me by that name!"

"My dear, I will call you whatever I wish. Besides, that is your given name, and it is quite beautiful. You should not be ashamed of it." Andromeda sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. "And you know that Narcissa is not to blame for what happened that day. She did not join in on their boorish display and can hardly be held accountable for Lucius and Draco's ugly personalities."

"Yeah, 'cause sitting quietly by as the two of them hurled derogatory insults at her sister and niece was sooooo much better. That really gives her the moral high ground and all." Another snort left her flared nostrils as Nymphadora gave her light brown wand a fancy flourish. "It's times like that which make me happy you eloped with dad. If I'd had to deal with Pureblood nonsense like that growing up, I might have gone madder than Mad Eye!"

The older woman's lips curved into a small smile. Brilliant and gifted though she may be, her daughter still had a great deal left to learn. "Nymphadora, if you think that Alastor truly is mad, then you have a very long way to go in your Auror training."

"Yeah, yeah. So you keep saying."

Andromeda took a deep breath and smoothed the front her robes. "But enough of that. It is time to introduce yourself to Sirius and his friend Remus. I expect you to comport yourself with the requisite dignity and not to bring any shame upon my raising of you. Am I understood?"

Nymphadora idly waved a hand in response. "I might not like any of it, but I actually do remember all of that mumbo jumbo Pureblood nonsense you taught me over the years."

"Please be sure not to call it mumbo jumbo this time."

"Eh. We'll see. But so long as he doesn't try asking for my hand in marriage like that one Pureblood snot did, I'll probably be able to keep those sorts of thoughts locked inside my head." The young woman put a cheerful smile on her face and gave her wand another twirl. "Let's just get this over with quickly so I can get out in time to meet my friends at the pub. Hestia told me that Dawlish somehow managed to piss off Moody yesterday and got forced to scrub the department's bathroom with a muggle toothbrush! I can't wait to hear the story about what actually happened, because Moody's punishments are never as simple as they sound."

Shaking her head – some days she feared that her daughter would never grow up – Andromeda strode up to the Cottage's large wooden door. She moved her light brown wand towards it and gently tapped it against the wooden planks to announce her presence. When she did, a feeling far warmer than that of the last time she had come to this particular domicile washed over Andromeda's body while her magic intermingled with the potent wards of the house.

A faint sound of running footsteps was soon audible. Loud male voices raised in argument with one another shortly followed, growing louder as their owner's came closer. Sharp bangs rang out, and multi-coloured light flashed in the windows.

Then the massive front door slammed open with a bang to reveal a dark-haired man with a wild-eyed expression on his face. "Andromeda! By Merlin's shrivelled balls am I glad to see you! The damn devils found a way out through the pantry floorboards and are rampaging through the house!" A muffled bang rang out behind him, followed by the meaty thud of a body hitting a wall. "Remus and I can hold 'em off, but we need a third wand to put 'em down for good."

Andromeda smiled fondly as she looked the man over. It had been over a decade since she had last set eyes upon Sirius, but the man was still just the same as ever. Older, yes, and prematurely aged by his time spent in Azkaban, but seeming to be just as handsome and spirited as he had been in their youth.

It was a pleasant sight. One which reminded her of the better parts of her childhood. As before she had met her beloved Ted, Sirius had been the only male in whom Andromeda could confide. The two of them had helped each other to survive the House of Black as children and had come out stronger for it.

Still, the man's bad habit for skimping on important details seemed to have remained in full order along with his charming personality. Andromeda's warm smile turned wry as she considered the fact that her presence had been requested for reasons the irrepressible man before her had failed to specify.

"Ah, Sirius, it truly is good to see that some things never change. And while it does break with tradition, I suppose we could place the formal greetings on hold until after your latest mess has been properly sorted." Andromeda looked over to her right and motioned towards her daughter. "Nymphadora, if you would be so kind, please assist your cousin and his friend Remus in removing the creatures currently infesting this abode. Considering our family's historical proclivities, I believe they will be rather Dark in nature; fighting them should serve as excellent training for your future career."

"What? Hold on a moment!" Sirius yelled in glee as he fixed his eyes on the younger woman. "That's little Nymphadora? The one who used to cling to my leg and squeal when I chased her as a dog? Man has she turned into a looker while I've been away."

"Yes, she has, Sirius. But she is much too young for you, so it is best that you not get any ideas."

"I don't know what you're talking about, 'Dromeda. Besides, we both know that I'm into older women anyway."

"Considering that you hold the mentality of a schoolboy and that any woman over the age of ten could be considered your mental elder, my worries have not been assuaged in the slightest."

"What? I'll have you know that…"

A roar came from deeper within the cottage, followed by what sounded like a horde of tiny feet. The burst of noise was soon followed by a rough, white hand abruptly coming into sight. It latched onto Sirius' closest shoulder, grabbed a fistful of his stylish silk shirt, and ripped the man out of view.

"Goddammit, Sirius," the enraged voice of Remus Lupin shouted, "stop flirting with your cousins and help me clean up your damn mess already!"

"Shut it, Moony!" Sirius yelled back as he was dragged away kicking and punching. "She and her daughter are gorgeous, and given that the prettiest woman I've seen in the past twelve years was Minerva – who still gives me goosebumps whenever she glares at me – there's no way in hell I'm following you back inside anytime soon."

"Too bad for you, prat, because you don't have a choice in the matter. Besides, I'm not going to let you commit incest with either one of them. Not on my watch."

"It's fine, man, you don't have to worry about a thing. 'Dromeda is only my third cousin so it's all good legally, while cute little Nymphadora there had a Muggleborn dad, which means there's no worry there either."

"Y'know, the next person who calls me Nymphadora is going to get a wand shoved so far up their arse that it's going to take Dumbledore himself to get it back out. Just sayin'."

"Aww… is my cute little baby cousin angry at her name? Don't worry, give your big cousin Sirius a hug and I'll make it all better."

"Argh! Stop antagonizing her already and start casting, 'cause here they come!"

Booms and bangs rang out as the two men shouted out spells while continuing to argue. The hiss of spellfire filled the air as what sounded like high pitched war cries rose to meet it.

A visibly puzzled Nymphadora Tonks scratched her head in confusion as she turned to face her mother. "I know that I'm usually the one causing shite like this, so my question might sound a little strange, Mum… but what the hell just happened?"

Andromeda gave her child the ghost of a smile. "That, my dear daughter, was your cousin Sirius and his old friend Remus. Two of the greatest pranksters in the history of Hogwarts. And it would also appear that not even a decade spent in Azkaban could destroy our cousin's irrepressible and charming nature."

"Yeah… sure. What you call charming I'd call creepy, mum."

"Oh, hush, dear. It will grow on you over time."

Andromeda took off her silken gloves as she stepped into the house and set about tidying the place up with waves of her wand. "Now, if you would be so kind, please give the two of them a hand. Remus is a more than competent wizard, but Sirius should still be recovering from his long stint in prison. And judging from the sound of things, this infestation has grown rather bad in the long absence of anyone living here."

Nymphadora gave her mother a hard stare before nodding her head and trudging off, muttering under her breath about terrible family members and missing out on all the fun.

Andromeda shook her head and continued to repair the broken house. Knowing her daughter's penchant for mischief, Nymphadora would soon form a fast friendship with the two men. What might become of such a friendship, and whether it would be good or ill, was for the future to decide. And so long as they both knew better than to ply their talents upon her, watching Sirius and her daughter working together could prove to be rather entertaining.

In the year since her Ted had died, this was the first time Andromeda had felt quite so happy. To have her missing family member back in her life again might finally help her broken heart begin to heal.


Sirius batted Remus' hand away from his shirt collar with an angry growl. Trying to cast spells while the other man dragged him along the floor was nearly impossible, and Sirius was getting sick of having to kick and swat the little blighters off his legs.

One of the Erklings took that as a sign to attack; the little bugger barrelled into him with a furious howl before Sirius could stand. Its slim limbs tore at his nicely pressed shirt, ripping the expensive silken material with every swipe.

Alas, the poor creature was no match for an infuriated Sirius Black. And destroying his newly purchased and totally awesome silk shirt was a definite way to anger him.

Sirius aimed his wand and sent the offensive creature flying into the next century with a modified blasting hex. Its body sailed out of sight, soaring over the heads of seven more of its brethren as the creatures emerged from the shadows and let out their own howls of anger.

Sirius and Remus took turns stunning, blasting, and otherwise disabling the tiny monstrosities. The creatures generally took several shots to put down, though, and the two wizards were soon in danger of being overwhelmed. Sirius really had lost more than one step during his incarceration in Azkaban and, although the werewolf had only grown better at spellcasting in Sirius' time away, Remus was not able to make up the difference.

The two men had begun to beat a slow retreat when a new sound reached their ears through the cacophony of noise. "Wotcher boys! Shift your rears over so a gal can join in on the action."

The two men cast a look behind them and saw Andromeda's pink-haired daughter glaring at them as the girl twirled her wand between her fingers. Remus gave a grunt and shifted his attention away, seemingly ignoring the cocksure girl in favour of concentrating on a trio of Erklings who had decided to gang rush him.

Ah well, it's not like the werewolf would have known what to do with a pretty young girl anyway. Or even a nice-looking older gal. Or any girl at all, really. Women had always been Sirius' department.

"C'mon over here, lass, there's plenty of work for all of us," Sirius said with a grin. His effort at being charming was no doubt hampered by his torn shirt, but Sirius had never let something small like that get in his way before. "Think you can hold your own against the stupid little blighters?"

The girl shot him a condescending look in response. Then, with a flash of her fingers that managed to impress him, she let loose two quick hexes which downed one of the Erklings that had flung itself at Remus' head from a nearby chandelier. "Moody made us train against a small nest of these guys two months ago. So yeah, I think that I can handle myself fairly well."

Sirius gave an admiring whistle as he turned his attention back to the fight. "Moody, eh? Good 'ol Mad Eye himself. I'm surprised to hear that the old coot hasn't retired yet; kudos to him for staying on active duty this long. And since you mentioned that he's been training you, can I assume you're one of this year's Auror hopefuls?"

"You could bet yer arse on that, old timer. He's actually been thinking of retiring, but before he goes, he's looking to select one final apprentice to train. Myself and a few of the other trainees are all vying for the spot."

"Hm. Britain just won't be the same without him on the beat; no one alive can get into the heads of a Dark witch or wizard like that man, not even Dumbledore. And hey! I'll have you know that I'm not that old; I've gotta have, like, ten years on you, tops."

"Try fifteen, cousin. Mum said that you're five years younger than her, which puts you at thirty-four. And since I'm a fresh nineteen years of age, that in turn means there's fifteen years between us. Which makes you an old fogey while I'm still a young and vivacious woman, kicking ass and taking the world by storm."

Remus chuckled at the girl's retort. "Nicely said, young lady. Sirius never really grew up even after we left Hogwarts and he sometimes seems to forget that his body isn't as spry as it once was."

"Ooh, don't tell, but did he try and get it up with a lady only for it to flop around? 'Cause I've heard that can happen to older men."

A spluttering Sirius butted in on their increasingly terrible conversation. "Hey! Both of you can shove off. First of all, Remus, I'll have you know that I am way more mature than you'll ever be. Second of all, Nym –"

"Call me either Dora or Tonks, cousin. Otherwise I will castrate you and leave you here to fight these things on your own before you can finish getting the rest of the words out of your mouth."

A bead of sweat tumbled down the back of Sirius' neck at the young woman's words. For all his bluster on the subject Sirius really did know his way around women. And that too sweet tone the girl had just used, coupled with her disturbing threat, indicated that she was all too serious about going through with it.

"Uh, yeah. Sure thing, Dora." Sometimes discretion really was the better part of valour when it came to handling a woman. "Anyway, I have never had that problem and never will. Sirius Black knows how to please the ladies and never fails to show them a good time. That was true back when I was teenager, was true when I became the most badass Auror this side of Mad Eye, and it sure as hell remains true even to today."

Dora and Remus shared a look. Then the two of them laughed at the same time, deepening Sirius' scowl as it was most certainly a laugh at his expense.

"I don't know, Remus; sounds to me like someone is starting to get a mite defensive here."

"I would concur, miss Dora. His words might have sounded strong, but his tone rang hollow to me."

"Oh whatever. I don't have to justify anything to either one of you. Just fuck off already and start taking these things out," Sirius growled in annoyance. He suited actions to words and aimed a few hexes at two Erklings charging from the rear. "Why is it that I'm the only one trying to be serious?"

"Because it's your name?" Dora helpfully suggested.

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny. That little joke's going to earn you a special kind of revenge, Dora. I'm the only one who gets to use my name as a pun."

"Good to know. But consider this little exchange my own form of revenge for using my name without my permission. The only person who gets to use my full name without me hexing them will be the man or woman I decide to marry, and that ain't going to be you, cousin." The young lady punctuated her words by downing a quartet of Erklings attempting a flanking manoeuvrer. "Since it's our first time meeting as adults and all, well, I'm giving you a light sentencing this time around. But test my patience again and I'll make sure to use you as a test dummy for Moody's latest practical assignment. Got it?"

Taking advantage of a momentary lull as the creatures began to retreat into the basement from whence, they came, Sirius eyed his young cousin speculatively.

The young woman was completely different than her mother. Even in her youth, Andromeda had sounded like a walking dictionary and been cool as a cucumber.

If anything, Sirius would have to say that Dora reminded him of a younger, less insane, Bellatrix. Who, though crazy and evil, had possessed a wicked sense of humour once upon a time and had never been shy in expressing herself.

But that rather disturbing thought was shelved for later. This time would be his loss. But Sirius would learn her rules of engagement sooner or later, rules that every woman – regardless of age –operated by. And once he did, he would flip the tables on her and have his revenge in full.

For he was Sirius Black. And no one got the better of him in a verbal exchange like this without receiving some form of revenge in the future.

"Fair enough," Sirius said as he concealed his thoughts with a charming grin. "In that case let's stop the witty banter and finish things up. If we take too long and make your mum wait, she'll take her anger out on the three of us. And that won't end well for anyone."

Dora shuddered and nodded her head.

"Good point." The young woman matched actions to words and quickly moved to take the lead. "Ladies first then. Try not to fall behind or get too distracted while staring at my tight arse, you old pervs."

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed my take on the guy and gals of House Black. I tried to picture it as a 'what could possibly go wrong with a reunion/first impression' sort of scene and decided to have some fun with it. For those who don't know what an Erkling is and want to know more, look it up on the HP fandom site. It's an amusing – though short – read.

Meanwhile, Wormtail has met up with the Dark Lord and things are being put into motion within the shadows. I've given Harry a powerful tool in the Game of Death, so you had best expect said tool to be needed.

Until Next Time,

Elsil